Imbalanced
by NamelessNarrator
Summary: Choices, and our ability to stick to them, are what makes us ponies. It doesn't matter whether they are right or wrong, the important thing is that they had to be made. When a barely adult unicorn with an ambitious name Blazing Light leaves his home to start a new life his steps lead him to a company in which he is rightfully nervous - princess Luna's guards.
1. New Life : Arrival

[Blazing's Entry]

How to begin? Leaving my home in Manehatten was the most difficult thing I've ever done which isn't saying much because of having everything I could've wanted served right in front of me all my life. Still, getting kicked out of the second university my parents sent me to was a bit too much even for me. I couldn't even look into the eyes of ponies who supported garbage like me for far too many years so I just left a note, grabbed the money I managed to save up over time and bought myself the first train ticket I could find to start a new life, well... some kind of life. The ticket was for a morning train to Canterlot.

I'm keeping this diary to look back at my thoughts in case I don't freeze to death during my first few days. With my amount of life-useful skills and training, this might be a really short one.

[End Entry]

* * *

I step out of the train surrounded by others who either decided to visit this mountain city or are on the way home. Not that I really care, the signs of coming winter are just a bit more important than some ponies I will never see again in my life. I have my saddlebags packed with food which should last few days, nutritional but absolutely disgusting which helps with overconsumption at least, and enough money to rent a small room if I can find some really derelict one. A chilly air flows through the train station and bites me hard. The brown hoodie I'm wearing isn't as helpful as I hoped it to be, mountains really are cold compared to Manehatten flatland. Unless I want to be caught in this cold tonight and hide between dumpsters it would be a good idea to start my new life quickly. Not that I have high hopes after failing basically everything in my life up to this point but despite knowing the world would be a slightly better place without me in it my survival instinct kicks in and overrides everything else. I tap an earthpony who looks local on his back.

"Sorry to bother you, are you from around here?" I ask.

"Born and raised here, kid. Can I help you?" he requites my question with a smile.

He is definitely friendlier than ponies back 'home'. Asking a random stranger in Manehatten would be more likely to get me an answer like 'Go buck yourself!' or 'How much if I tell you?' or possibly being sued for an assault. Well, since things started in this fashion I'm a bit less afraid of showing I'm technically a hobo right now.

"Where could a young unicorn like me look for a job in this city and a cheap place to stay for few days?"

He looks at me for few seconds. It is something I'm used to, looks aren't my strong side but nothing out of ordinary so he is probably trying to think about what would a young stallion like me be able to do.

"You can always go door to door and ask every business owner you see or try your luck at the castle, I hear they are always looking for new recruits since guards keep quitting after patrolling the Everfree forest routes. The best place to start would be the town hall though since whenever ponies look for someone to work for them they eventually send their request there to be available."

"Oh thanks. I'll be off then."

I turn around to leave and feel a hoof on my back, so much for helping somepony for free. Perhaps this place is not as different from Manehatten as I thought. I turn around to find out what the price for help is.

"The town hall is that way, big building with a lot of pillars in front of it," the earthpony points in one direction, smiles at me and continues.

"Can't help you with the accommodation much but if you want cheap, you can't beat prices in the apartment buildings which don't look white and shiny."

So my head just screwed me over once again and completely ignored one part of my inquiry. Thankfully, other ponies aren't as useless as me and can keep a thought for more than two seconds. I thank the guy again and walk in a vague direction he pointed. I hate travelling from the depths of my soul and gawking at architecture really isn't my thing but the sterile cleanliness of Canterlot is noticeable even to somepony consciously trying to ignore it. Grudgingly, I admit defeat and begin looking around to catch some finer details of the buildings around me with the only effect of noticing a line of white pillars down a street crossing the one I'm going, having only one clue to my destination I change my direction.

It turns out that an hour of lazy walking is something which can be rewarded by a success and the town hall is right in front of me. I take a deep breath and hope to all stars and both princesses that there is a place for me. I really don't expect much because I don't have any qualifications for, well, anything but there must be someone who could use a cheap hoof around the place... maybe a glue manufacturer?

I walk inside and just vaguely notice the golden decorations all around me as my efforts are focused on stopping my legs from shaking and keeping my voice steady. Unfortunately there is a point in time when I have to stop staring at my hooves and begin searching for a sign having something to do with jobs. Lo and behold, the 'employment' office isn't far away and the queue is manageable, not that I have a choice anyway.

Finally it's my turn. Resisting the temptation to run away one final time I open the office door and enter. I must admit that the soft carpeting feels pretty good after being outside for so long and the warm office is enough to dispel the chills running up my spine. There is a mare sitting behind a table writing something on a piece of paper, probably finishing off the previous visitor.

"Uh... hello?"

Great, I couldn't have sounded dumber even if I tried really hard.

"Sit down, mister... ?" she asks without looking up from the paper.

"Blazing Light. I'm here to ask if you have a job for me."

Wow, my brain really isn't working. What else could I go to the employment office for, to ask for a daisy farming permit?

"Of course you are. What are your qualifications and previous experience?" the question shows the amount of times she had to repeat it.

After a short silence she finally looks up at me questioningly. This is the hard part.

"Eh, none and none?" I ask and look down trying to find solace in the polished wood of the desk.

"You look fairly young, are you a student?"

"Not anymore. I'm just looking for a job which doesn't need much experience. I'll take anything, night shifts, solo work, working in the winter outside, not much pay... anything."

Yeah, that's not going to work. I should have just found a way up the city walls and jumped down the mountain.

"Have you thought of studying a bit more before entering real life?"

I have to work really hard to stop the sarcasm going up my throat.

"I'm not the... smart type of pony. So, you don't have anything." I conclude and begin to get up from the chair.

"Don't be so hasty. There are of course things for you but most of them are dead end jobs with zero future prospects which don't suit somepony as young as you in my opinion."

Well somepony has high opinion of her opinion. Before I can open my mouth to contradict her she speaks again.

"But I have a request from the castle for somepony just like you. Night shifts, working weekends and it basically pays peanuts."

She rummages around in her papers and finally pulls one out and gives it to me. I read it in disbelief.

"Okaaaay now all I need to do is to find a place to live while being paid THIS and some garden to illegaly ravage for food and I'm set."

My tone of voice is easy to read but so is the officemare's expression - 'Do you think you are worth more than this?'. Her next words calm me down a bit though.

"It is a live-in position which means you'd have your quarters in the castle so while the pay is still, forgive my language, crap it fits your description. No offense."

"None taken. I'm well aware of my worth or lack thereof so thanks for your patience. Who should I talk to in the castle about this?"

She frowns at me for some reason but points to the paper in front of me.

"All the details are there, good luck."

"In all honesty, I think I've overtaxed my luck with this enough already. Once again thanks and have a nice day."

My horn glows and I leave the office with the paper levitating in front of me and as soon as I find the contact name I roll it up and put it in my bag. On my way to the castle I eat some dried, pressed flowers and have only one thing on my mind which even the crunching and atrocious taste can't banish - a name.

"Choking Darkness," I mumble to myself.

With full stomach, hood on my head and a direction, I actually believe I have a future.


	2. New Life: Interview

[Blazing's Entry]

I got lucky, if it can be called that. The first step of actually finding something to do is behind me. All I have to do is persuade the pony in charge that I'm the right one for the job, whatever it is.

I'm boned.

[End Entry]

* * *

As interesting, even for me, as the streets of Canterlot seemed just over an hour ago the gold and white style became annoying pretty quickly and now I'm just walking without any more interest in my surroundings. Unfortunately, my lack of focus means that I get lost few times despite seeing the castle all the time, the streets are weird. I try to persuade myself that it's because of the difference between the layout of Manehatten and Canterlot but that is pointless and eventually I just blame my lack of concentration. Unfortunately as soon as I get into the circle of thoughts I get lost again and it takes another chunk of precious time to get back on the right track. It is afternoon and there is still enough time before the evening cold becomes unpleasant but there is no reason to waste any more resources. Eventually the castle itself comes into view unobstructed by other buildings leaving me to wonder how I managed to get lost so many times.

I gasp, Manehatten is way bigger than Canterlot and full of tall buildings but the architecture is more functional and everything just looks like a collection of big boxes with windows. In comparison to Canterlot it pales as the decorations everywhere mixed with small family houses create much lighter feel but the main difference is right in front of me - the castle gardens. I'm aware that what I see is just a fraction of what is there but even that is enough to make me stop and look around with eyes wide open. Big is an understatement and I'm at loss of terms to comprehend what makes the gardens so special as the castle itself doesn't grab my attention even in the slightest. I try to make my brain work again and order it to move the legs causing me to stumble a bit and then pick up the pace to the distant castle gate. The nice thing, and I use the term 'nice' only in connection to the complex ecosystem of ponies and the nature and not at all in connection to me, is that while the park is huge, it is not empty. The road to the castle is filled with ponies and carriages causing quite a traffic and the wide lawns host groups of ponies doing their duties. I look at one of the larger groups and see that they are unicorns levitating their weapons and running around in a combat practice with one muscular stallion shouting at them.

"HALT!"

"WHO GOES THERE?"

I jump back as two voices derail my train of thought and stare at the two gate guards and... everypony around looking at me. I try to look as small as possible. Turns out I was walking through the gate like I was one of the guards and the other guests who had to show their credentials didn't like it and guards noticed me.

"Eh, sorry. I was sent here for a job," I mumble and rummage through my bag for the paper with the Royal Guard seal.

I hear the snickering of diplomats and dignitaries but try to calm down as I present the paper to one of the guards and the other one, assured I'm no threat, goes back to deal with the important ponies. My guard studies the paper for a while and then scratches his head.

"This is a Nightguard seal so I'm not really sure who this Choking Darkness is but Nightguards usually work on the higher floors of the castle so their offices should be there as well, just go upstairs and ask around."

He looks really nervous whenever he mentions Nightguards, whatever they are.

"Thanks. By the way, I thought this was the Royal Guard place? Is Nightguard a term for the guys working night shift or something?"

"You might say that, now go!" he says and smiles to himself.

Am I serving as a joke?

I'm surprised at the security of the place. Once I'm inside, nopony gives me a second look and soon it becomes apparent why. The amount of ponies around is staggering with dignitaries followed by their entourages, politicians talking to their assistants and staff running around organizing and answering questions of the guests, I'm just another face in the crowd and thank Celestia for that. That all changes once I get to the third floor however, the clutter of ponies is gone and the servants are scarce as well. The hall itself seems... darker and it's not thanks to the torches and chandeliers not working. The tone of colors, while keeping the same scheme as on lower floors, seems darker and the decorations around changed from sun themed to stars and moons. I just keep walking around and few times I think I hear hoofsteps behind me but whenever I turn around there is nothing there. Almost passing a heavily moon-star decorated door I stop and look at the carvings. Perhaps this is the headquarters? It certainly looks official enough so I get ready to knock.

I hear hoofsteps again but this time I ignore them. Every single time it was just an echo from lower floors and nopony bothered asking me anything anyway after entering. My mind must be playing tricks on me and this time I can't blame it, my nerves are stretched by my situation enough as it is.

"What are you doing here?" asks me a pleasant, deep voice from behind.

I freeze and slowly turn around which doesn't prove very helpful. The creature standing before me is definitely a pony but one wearing silver armor instead of the Royal Guard gold one. He is taller than me which doesn't say a lot as most stallions are at least a bit over my head and I have to look up to look him in the eyes...

I gulp and lean back as I notice the slit pupils and bat wings on his back. I've never seen somepony like him before and suddenly the term Nightguard makes way more sense. His eyes narrow when I don't say anything and just keep staring, unable to move. It is like a mouse staring at a snake, my mind is blank and I have no control whatsoever. He sighs and knocks on my head with his armored hoof.

"Anypony there?"

As soon as I realize my jaw is dangerously close to hitting the ground and my mouth is completely dry from being open the whole time I try to control myself.

"Eh... I'm here about a job?"

I levitate the paper from my bag again and fail to keep the magic up as I turn my head back and notice the tip of a spear aimed straight at my neck. The paper begins floating down slowly before being grabbed by the Nightguard who mumbles as he reads it. I don't even dare to breathe loudly despite the spear not aiming at me anymore, it's just the presence of the pony that keeps me in check, not the armor or the weapon. He gives the paper back when he's done.

"Seems all in order. What are you doing here, though?"

"T-this door looked official so I thought I'd ask for directions. I haven't seen anypony around for a while."

He grins at me and nods further into the hall.

"I wouldn't do that, waking princess Luna up might not be good for your health. The office you're looking for is room 326, that way. Nevermind... it seems you're lucky."

A cheerful female voice behind me makes me just frown this time, seems that Nightguards have a very annoying habit of being really sneaky.

"Heya, Sharp! Stop scaring lost recruits, I've heard some of the poor guys can't sleep for days after wandering here by mistake."

Sharp retorts in an absolutely calm manner.

"Yes, mostly because YOU won't let them."

"Pfff, can't help myself if they are so tasty and eager."

I feel a nudge to my side and face the newcomer. A female of the same species of pony is looking curiously at me. Looking eye to eye with a mare without the need to look down is always embarrassing but somepony of my size should be used to that by now. She leans towards me and I get a clear look into her red eyes which almost glow underlined by her pitch black coat. She blows away a streak of her red mane and slowly licks a pair of fangs. The display, however, is lost on me mostly because after facing Sharp anything she's doing seems more like theatrics than the real thing. The show ends when Sharp quickly closes her mouth mid-lick with his hoof.

"Owwwwwwww," she mumbles and spits around after biting her tongue.

"This guy is here to see you, Darky. Something about a job?"

She stops sulking and smile returns to her face somehow causing her enthusiasm to cheer even me up a bit and dispelling all bad feelings from the entire situation. That allows me to notice the details of the pair. I had a good look at Sharp before but now the sinewy Nightguard doesn't look that much older than me despite emiting an aura of absolute calm and the ability to deal with anything which only serves to make me feel way worse about myself. What could these guys want from me? Seeing them makes me wonder whether I'm actually good enough to even clean carpets for them. The mare, on the other hoof, shows the signs of carefree and cheery approach which still doesn't lift my spirits but at least the closeness of mare probably younger than me makes me feel nervous enough to stop my mind from forming coherent thoughts aimed at keeping me down. She waves Sharp away and then gestures to me.

"Come with me, chubby."

I'm not fat but it makes sense for her to see things that way. In comparison to sinewy and muscular Sharp, the bulky gate guards and her slim, athletic frame I'm definitely out of shape. I don't take it as an insult and just try to prepare for the inevitable attempt at persuading her to hire me.

We move to her office and for the second time today I'm asked to sit down by a mare holding my life in her hooves, not a comfortable position to be in. I had enough time to admire her, well, everything while walking behind her and this would otherwise be a perfect moment of me talking to a mare I find incredibly attractive... in any situation other than me asking for employment.

"Never seen a batpony before?" she asks and I realize I'm staring again. Fortunately she looks more amused then insulted.

"Uh, yeah, totally," I lie, kick myself mentally and then correct myself. I have to be straight if I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror... maybe in the future if I stop screwing everything up constantly. I correct my previous statement.

"I mean no. The other guard was the first one I've ever seen," I admit, daring her to laugh.

"Yea that's Sharp Biscuit, princess Luna's personal bodyguard and leader of the Nightguard. Don't let his looks fool you, he's a total softie."

"So you are Choking Darkness, I assume?"

She makes a throwing up notion.

"Darky is enough. What's your name then?"

"Blazing Light."

"Nice name. So you're here to be my assistant, Blaze?" she asks and I try not to choke.

"I-I've been sent here by this lady at the town hall but she didn't tell me what exactly I'm supposed to do. Wait... YOUR assistant?"

"Well we renamed the position cause Luna wouldn't give us the budget for a lunchlady so my personal assistant basically means everypony's."

"So I'm supposed to bring food to ponies?" I ask, still trying to wrap my head around the idea.

"Not exactly, you'll just do what I tell you to do at whatever time but it may be anything that helps around the castle. So are you in?"

I'm not too happy about the arrangement but the prospect of shelter and some money on top of it is tempting despite the horrible pain that will inevitably follow. Well, it's not like I have a choice and being a whipping toy for a sexy mare for whatever short time before she finds out I'm completely useless is good enough for me.

"I'm in. Just tell me where to sign and where to put my stuff."

"PERFECT!" she smiles and jumps when I finish signing the contract.

"So do you want anything right now?" I ask half-jokingly.

"A coffee but I can get that myself."

She then gives me the key, directions to my new home and explains my first duty. After I see the room I'm supposed to live in I know I should have thought that through a bit more.


	3. New Life: Job

[Blazing's Entry]

I have my own place right now and job that actually pays enough so I don't have to eat the grass of castle lawn but it's so-so. It's nothing to be proud of but it is the first thing I accomplished for myself in my whole life. Oh and my boss? Super hot mare who's friend with the head of princess Luna's guards. I think three entries are enough for one day so I'm going to unpack my things and then get ready for my first night shift.

Also, the pay sucks and did I remember to mention that the pay sucks?

[End Entry]

* * *

"This doesn't really seem worth the effort," I comment on the state of affairs after opening the door of the room I'm supposed to live in.

That is hardly fair though. One room is more than enough for me and the bonus of having a fireplace, though empty, is something. I've seen some advanced technology around the castle and in Choking's office so there must be electricity around here but most of the place seems fairly old-fashioned, I take what I can get anyway. Further exploration reveals two side-rooms, one closet small enough only to fit few things in and a bathroom. I experimentally twist both knobs of a shower in the bathroom corner and raise an eyebrow when hot water comes almost instantly when turning the red knob. In disbelief I turn the second knob ready for anything but the cold water that comes gushing out. To be honest, I was expecting something else after seeing the completely empty 'living' room but this place seems well kept and the lack of any equipment only means I don't have to bother throwing anything out.

Looking into the cracked bathroom mirror above a sink I see my reflection smiling weakly back at me as if encouraging me to go on. I've never been a fan of my bronze coat and sandy blonde mane, mostly because it didn't seem to fit with my grey, dull eyes but for the first time in my life I'm not having the irresistible urge to look away. Perhaps it is a good sign?

I lay down on the living room floor without even bothering to take off my hoodie. If I have a real complaint about this place it's that the room is really cold but that should be better tomorrow when I do my duty, the job... right. Simply put, what I have to do now is to get coal from one of the castle cellars and bring some to the every room of the castle every night - I'm going to hurt tomorrow but at least a braindead monkey could do it. Thankfully, all rooms in the castle have a slot next to the door for just such purpose, or so I've been told, so I don't have to bother ponies in their sleep and it means I can do it whenever I want during the night. That also means I can get some sleep, or at least rest since I'm not really used to sleeping in the early evening, the body will get used to it though.

"knock knock"

I roll my eyes, so it begins. I get up, unlock and open the door.

"Heeeeey!" a now familiar redmane batpony greets me from the hallway.

"Uh, hello?" my tone says 'firing me already?' between the lines of a greeting.

"Housewarming party!" she shouts and begins waving a bottle of something around.

"I hate to break it to you but this is not a house and there's just the two of us," I say, having no idea how to deal with the situation and becoming way more defensive than I want to.

She pushes past me and stops when she sees the interior of 'my place'.

"Gotta admit, wasn't expecting that," she says after turning her head from side to side to see if she didn't miss a hidden piece of furniture.

"Empty, huh?"

"Yeeaaa... I've never been here before actually. Is that all you have?" she asks, pointing at my bag in the corner.

"I think there's a metal cup in the bathroom."

She seems crestfallen to me but she doesn't give up and waves the bottle.

"Can you get this thing open? You unicorns are better at this stuff. I'll get the cup," she hands me the bottle and goes away.

She's right. She must have been thinking I'd have a corkscrew or something because non-magical ponies can't really open corked bottles without breaking them. Fortunately even my weak telekinesis is enough to pop the thing open and I'm experienced enough with drinking fizzy stuff not to spill any on the floor. I almost jump and kick the bottle when I hear her yell out though.

"YOU'VE GOT A SHOWER?"

"Uh, yeah? I mean yes, I do."

She comes back with the cup, sits down on the floor and pours what seems to be white wine, one of the bubbly ones, into it. Then she picks up the bottle and takes a long swig from which I deduce the cup is for me and have a small sip myself. It's surprisingly good considering the bottle is marked as 'White wine, extra bubbles'.

"Mind if I come here from time to time and take a shower? My apartment is on the other side of the town and I can't be bothered to shower at the gym in the cellars."

After I stop choking and snorting bubbles through my nose I look at her to see if she's joking.

"Pleeeeeeeeease!" her wide and completely fake innocent stare doesn't fit her pleading tone but calms me down. I'm not going down without a fight against this joker though.

"The bathroom door doesn't close and the keyhole is quite big, also you might have noticed there is no shower curtain."

From her devilish grin I know I've lost. Whether she can read me or just doesn't care I don't know but the hungry look she casts at the bathroom door shows her intentions quite clearly.

"I'm sure a gentlecolt like you wouldn't even dream of acting in such uncouth manner," she says in a mock bookish voice and winks at me.

"Soooo?" she continues.

"Yea sure, have a blast."

I can easily admit that I would be the first one to enjoy the sight of slippery and wet mare in my shower but somehow her completely open approach to the subject prevents me from even thinking about spying on her more than any threat would.

"Thank ya, have a bubbly! And don't be so nervous, technically I'm your boss but that's only on paper," she encourages me and pours more 'totally not wine' into my cup.

"What do you mean?" her last remark wakes my curiosity.

"You are technically a Nightguard now. It's just an official thing so don't go ordering citizens around and your real rank is somewhere between a recruit and an office trash can. I'm just a guard with extra responsibility of designing shifts so I'm such a low rank that I can't have a real subordinate meaning you are lost somewhere in the command structure and your real boss is probably either Sharpie or princess Luna. You can ask them about your coal duties if you want more info."

I choke again at the throught of asking the stern-looking batpony or the royal sister about something trivial such as how much coal are they supposed to get.

"That sounds unhealthy," she comments on my coughing but my torture isn't over yet.

"I'll go and have a shower then, any objections?"

I just keep squirming on the floor unable to control my body and mind.

"Perfect!" she says and gets up while throwing her bag down to the door.

When I finally get a grip on myself and curse her, internally of course, I realize her visit actually gave me a chance to sleep through the evening thanks to whatever little alcohol the fizzy drink contained. I go through my things and don't find anything useful so I just lay back on the cold stone floor and try to ignore the horrible off-key singing coming from behind one of the doors. The heat from inside caused by the drink is just pleasant enough to let me rest when combined with my nervous exhaustion and eventually all sounds fade and I drift off. I have nothing of any worth with me anyway so I'm content and not even a weird mare of a species I've never met before today is enough to worry me now.

I wake up in the dark with something wrapped around me and for once I'm thankful for there not being absolutely anything in the room between me and the light switch by the door. Flipping it unfortunately just lights up a small spot in the middle of the ceiling where a solitary bulb is screwed in, it is enough for me though. I find the keyring Choking left here and with hope of finding some coal bags in the cellar I begin my patrol around the castle.

Shaking and aching all over I collapse when I get back to my room after finishing my rounds. The thing which was wrapped around me is a rug from Choking's office.


	4. New Life: Favor

[Blazing's Entry]

Carrying huge bags of coal around the place every night is not exactly a dream job but it certainly does build muscles and I'm beginning to look way more athletic even just after a week of doing so. It might also have something to do with my food supplies running out and me having to suffer a short exercise every chance I get to keep warm.

Also, my boss walked on me while I was taking a shower. It would have been better if she didn't refuse to leave.

Not a big deal though. I enjoyed spending three hours of hot water splashing at me.

On a completely unrelated topic, I'm feeling a bit pruny today.

[End Entry]

* * *

It's saturday and no, I don't have a day off. Despite most guards and servants spending the weekend with their families or generally being away doing things normal ponies do, the ones who are not so occupied like to stay warm for some reason and so I have to be thankful at least for not having to haul the usual amount up way too many staircases. What is the real reason for me actually being happy about today is that it is the laundry day and my only piece of clothing - my hoodie, is becoming... uninhabitable. I hope to both royal sisters that it will return to me tomorrow in a better shape than it's been in quite a while.

I was having a terrible time the first few days which I spent either hauling, sleeping or groaning in unbearable pain but eventually it became way too boring for my muscles to cry all the time and now I'm finding I actually have a lot of free time which, contrary to popular belief, is a bad thing. I don't have any real interests and that's the thing, probably the thing that got me kicked out of both damn universities, disregarding my bone-deep laziness of course.

Well, there is one thing and that one is a bit weird - martial arts. It is something that is mostly unknown to ponies as it is mainly a griffon thing thanks to their ability to grab things which is incomparably higher than ours but the kicking and jumping and punching and whatever the rest is got to me when I was younger and it stuck. And right now it's my only passtime thanks to it not requiring any money. Working only from memory has it's disadvantages though and my progress in the 'art' is severely hindered by me having to think of new moves by myself and discarding the completely useless ones, it keeps me warm though. The depressing thing is that my only defense against an armed attacker would be drowning him in the river of excrement created by me getting really scared.

I hear a key rattle in the door and, I can't believe it myself, I'm kinda happy when it clicks and Choking's face appears once again in my empty place corresponding to my empty life. I did spend some time walking around the castle past few days and I saw her flirting with some guards and on one occasion even a diplomat just leaving the throne room which gave me the perspective needed to keep a cool head in her company - the seductive, flirty thing is her standard approach to every living being and means absolutely nothing in connection with me. It is slightly disappointing that I'm on the level of a house plant to her but at least I don't blush and stutter every time she talks to me anymore... much.

She waits for me to end with my slow-motion practice moves before speaking.

"Heya, Blaze!"

"Hi."

Well I never said it made me better at talking to mares in any intelligent manner, did I?

"Spending the weekend alone?" she asks and I curse the passing thought saying that it is the normal way for me to spend my free time.

"No, you're here."

Well maybe it DID help a bit. She laughs and I fake a smile myself. There is something bothering me though.

"Why are YOU alone?"

"I'm not alone, I'm with you."

Alright, hearing it from somepony else's mouth convinces me it was a much weaker joke than I believed at first.

"My my, we are such a joyful and happy couple one could think there is something between us," I say in the most withering tone I can manage to indicate that under no circumstances I mean what I'm saying.

"You make it sound like a bad thing," she comments and an expression unreadable for me passes her face.

"It kinda would be, I mean you could find ten ponies better than me sleeping around every dumpster in Cante-" I ram a hoof into my mouth to stop the scorching 'endorsement' of myself. It might be true but I don't have to spill whatever venom is in me during smalltalk, better to stick to something light.

"Got any plans for tonight then?" I ask way too quickly.

"Actually I do, few of my friends who don't have anywhere to go this weekend asked princess Celestia whether they can borrow the castle ballroom and she agreed."

"That's way too much space unless 'few' in this case means few dozen,"

"That's why I'm here. Wanna come?"

"I'd really like to but, you know, I have to do the coal thing so... no," I lie, partially. I could easily make it there and do my rounds but the though of ponies with what one would call 'a life' in my company makes me sick to my stomach. There is nothing I could contribute to conversation and, honestly, I don't like company.

"Damn! I needed a waiter," she sighs to herself.

For some reason that sounds better to me than being a guest.

"Waiter? I would think that few ponies wouldn't need this kind of service."

She hesitates and looks at the ceiling for a moment.

"Welllll, the princess borrowed us the ballroom under the condition that she would be the one to organize the party and she kinda made it so there will be a lot of low-class nobles who are single and want to mingle."

"-"

"There's gonna be around fifty ponies," she blurts out quickly before I can say anything.

"Fine..."

"What? But you said-"

"I said fine. Do I have to spell it for you?"

"N-no. Eeh, thank you?" she says uncertainly.

I would be the first one to say I'm weird so I don't hold not understanding me against her. Going there as a guest would be pointless since the chance of a noblemare or even a guard to take an interest in me is absolute zero but going there as a waiter to help out a friend seems bearable. She really doesn't have to understand when it would be difficult for me to explain.

"Good, when does it start?"

"In about two hours."

"Hmmm. I really can't make that. When does it end?"

She gives me an 'I don't believe you just asked something so obvious' look.

"It's a party soooo probably when everypony gets bored."

That's not very helpful but I did already decide I'd help her so it's up to me to find a way and to fulfill my usual duties.

"Do I have to wear something special?"

"Got a bowtie?"

I just point towards the empty bag in the corner of the room and raise an eyebrow.

"I'll get one for you then. See you later!"

She runs out without the slightest bit of care whether I have something more to say. I myself have to admit the chances of me saying something relevant are pretty low though.

I think I'm starting to hate her.


	5. New Life: Party

[Blazing's Entry]

Being used might seem to some as a despicable act but sometimes there are ponies, such as me, who just can't find a direction by themselves and need somepony else to reign then down and unleash them when necessary. Using those is an act of mercy when done by somepony who, for one reason or other, guides them for his own benefit and rewards them afterwards. The term 'pet' might cross ones mind and in such situation is not a derogatory one. The sexual theme of submission and dominance also comes very close but now it refers to a way of life more than just simple bedroom gymnastics and when done right, both subjects can find fulfillment that way.

There are also those who would use the aimless one for their own benefit and berate him to keep him in the state of despair to use him more easily next time until they drain every little bit of soul from him. There is a lot of these users around.

I think I'm spending way too much time in the castle library.

[End Entry]

[hr]

"Another hay smoothie?" I ask the increasingly drunk noble who is sitting on a chair in front of me and desperately trying to stop his sobbing.

"Send it here, Jimmy!" he mumbles and I really don't have the energy to correct him about my name, not that it matters.

I can easily understand why was Choking so stoked about the party but I can understand even easier where she made the fatal mistake. A bunch of bachelors from various echelons of society sounds a fantastic idea at first but when they get together it is easy to see why they still are that way. I guess I just have a lot more experience with identifying the signs compared to others mostly because I see way too many of them every morning in the mirror. Some of them are just socially awkward ponies who are waiting for somepony alse to lead them out of their shells and who are just inexperienced with the dating scene. Others are just too preoccupied to spend most of their time on a party of some kind and are generally a really good catch. And then there are ones like the guy sipping a hay smoothie and teling me all about his life. I hate every little thing about him, starting with how similar to me he is.

"Hey, it's just temporary," I say an pass him the drink.

One positive thing about this affair is that I'm coming to terms with me possibly being a great listener, not that I actually CARE about what he's saying but drunks don't need a somepony like that... they just need somepony to be there while they speak and that is a service I can provide. Also I'm becoming a pretty good bartender and the longer I'm listening to him the more I believe those traits go hoof in hoof with one another.

"WHY DID SHE HAVE TO LEAVE ME?" he exclaims and falls from the barstool.

Well that escalated quickly. I grab a mop and start taking care of the spilled mess while another pony is pulling the unconscious guy to the kitchen. After all, we don't want Celestia's affair to turn into common cheap bar spectacle. Fortunately the princess didn't notice anything or if she did, she decided not to act on it.

"Hey there, handsome," I hear a nearby voice.

I keep cleaning the floor and eventually all the mess is gone and I turn my attention to the cloth used for cleaning glasses and start wiping the drop-out's one. A different pony takes his place and before I can pop the question (What'll it be?) she says again:

"Did you swallow your tongue, handsome?"

I look around to explore the unlikely option of her talking to me and find out that I really am the only one in the vicinity. The mare talking to me is a royal guard pegasus of astonishing physical status which immediately sets off an alarm in my head - she is either completely wasted or wants something. Am I just paranoid? No reason to make enemies though.

"What'll it be, ma'am?" I try not to stare at her blindingly white coat and few jewels in just the right places to make my gaze slide all over her body.

[i]Don't trust ANYTHING she says.[/i]

I don't need the new voice in my head telling me that. She's weirding me out more than the voice itself.

"Maybe the same as the guy who was sitting here earlier - a company."

I look into her green eyes and feel like drowning in them. At the moment I know my body would do anything to feel the mare close to me and to give her my everything. My constant fear burns away and the calm of finding my OWNER spreads through my entire body. She smiles, the scene changes and I have trouble stopping a scream from leaving my throat, I'm facing some kind of predator in pony form. Maybe I'm just reacting to her forwardness, maybe it's something else and if there is somepony who knows the reactions of his entire being to certain things it is me and right now I know something isn't right.

"I think somepony of your beauty would be welcome in any company and there is good amount of-"

"Oh but it feels like you're trying to get rid of me," she licks her lips and forces our stares to lock.

[i]It's magic. Look away NOW![/i]

I refuse to believe the voice, somepony as beautiful as her wouldn't need to use any kind of magic on me and she's a pegasus after all. I let go of any resistance and the mild headache I attributed to the sound of dozens of ponies talking fades away. The scene changes again without anything moving and I feel an irresistible urge to bow before the beauty looking at me. I feel no reason not to do so and my forehead hits the bar counter which works as a cold shower and my magic stops working causing the glass I've been cleaning all the time to shatter on the floor.

"What are you doing, you idiot!" a voice from the kitchen breaks me out of my confusion.

"Eh?" I shake my head and try to get hold of myself.

"Too busy flirting to do your job, eh? Clean up the mess and get serving! We'll talk about this later."

I've never been so happy to see an angry supervisor in my life. He turns to the lady after scolding me.

"Sorry for that, miss. He's new here and doesn't know he shouldn't be bothering guests."

"Leave us alone, worm!" she says sharply.

My super smiles at her happily and goes back to where he came from.

"Yes, miss. Thank you, miss. Have a great evening, miss."

[i]RUN![/i]

Thanks to the interruption I was able to collect my thoughts a bit and with the voice still being a mystery I tend to agree for now. The white pegasus feels weird. I sweep the broken glass off the floor dreading the moment I'd have to look up again without any decent excuse to leave and when the moment finally comes I still have nothing.

Nothing happens.

No confusion, no headache, no change. The green eyes are still there and the smile feels normal now and puts me at ease. I'm just overworked probably.

"So, can I be of service, ma'am?" I ask calmly. Everything now feels right.

"How come someone like you isn't a guest here but is working the table?"

I scratch my head.

"Eh I'm just doing somepony a favor. I'm not a guard or something so I wouldn't be invited."

"Oh? One of the castle staff then?"

"I... I just carry coal around every night," I look down, blushing. Now it ends and I won't feel her company anymore.

[i]GET THE BUCK AWAY![/i]

The shock causes me to grab a second to analyze before I do anything. Even when I'm not looking at her I can feel her. It isn't a presence or aura like something strong from Sharp Biscuit. I just KNOW she's there... I can feel her from inside me.

[i]Too late, moron.[/i]

I don't know who she is or what she's doing but I steel myself from further invasion and try to gather the terrified thoughts and tell her off. As soon as I look at her to do so her gaze hits me and at that instant I know she was just lulling me into false sense of security.

"Nice try, pet. You just might be the right one," she says, or thinks? I can't identify the tone of her voice. I just know she said... no, I know those words are in my head now.

"Now why don't we find a quiet spot to have some fun together."

No thoughts about my promise to Choking or about my duty matter anymore. I. JUST. WANT. TO. SERVE. HER. In ANY way, shape or form. I nod and look once more at my mistress. She smiles and my knees go weak. Not only those but I suddenly feel weaker all around, must be my nerves. I smile to myself - there's no need to be nervous, I'm in good hooves now.

"Let's-" the white lady says but stops when a black blur knocks her down from the barstool.

"Whoopsh... shorry miz'."

A midnight-black batpony puts her front legs on the counter and begins to squint her eyes at me.

"S'dat yoo, Blaze?"

I send a small prayer to Celestia. It's not in my nature to be so happy to see somepony but at this moment I would happily kiss Choking's drunk ass. And with the relief flowing through my muscles I just say:

"Yea, It's me, Darky."

"Whissh one of yoo?"

I wave my hoof in the air.

"I shust whanna thank yoo for halpin'"

"Anytime."

"Nah nah! I got smtin' bettr' f'ya," she barely manages to, and I use the term loosely, say.

I raise an eyebrow at her attempts at some strange grimace she's making and in disbelief I realize she's getting ready to kiss me. I've never been put in this situation but the hope she wouldn't remember any of this tomorrow keeps me going. I lean forward and see her flap her wings without any coordination to jump and hug me over the counter.

I don't know how drunk she is but as soon as she jumps it becomes apparent she chose the wrong me to jump at and her crashing behind the counter makes me slightly worried. The snoring which begins coming from down there proves to me that everything is all right though. First kiss will have to wait then.

Meh, close enough.


	6. New Life: Pain

[Blazing's Entry]

The strange pegasus disappeared after Choking's interruption but she's still around, I don't know how but I can feel her presence. I don't have much will to worry about her anyway because the next guy at the bar was Choking's ex-coltfriend who threatened to make my life Tartarus if I didn't keep my hooves off her. I wasn't worried at first as I believed it would be an improvement from the current state and the physical pain I usually suffered from hauling crazy amounts of coal ensured me that anything he could do would be less terrible.

Unfortunately I was wrong much like many times before. The hoodie my mom gave me, and the thing keeping me warm at night besides Choking's rug, came back from laundry shredded to pieces. I thought nothing would hurt me anymore at the lowest point of existence.

I cried myself to sleep.

[End Entry]

* * *

I think I must have caught cold during past few days. Sweating every night hauling stuff during winter does that to a young pony and sleeping in cold room covered only by a short rug isn't helping. I have enough coal but to my disappointment I don't have access to any equipment that would help me light the fireplace. I know it's been about two weeks since I started working here but I still don't know how to take care of myself. The good thing is that I have enough money to buy a sleeping bag or something and now that I don't writhe in agony every day from muscle pain I can go buy it. Or I could just ask somepony how they get warm at night... well that didn't sound right.

"Knock knock."

Who could that be? Choking has her own key and usually doesn't bother knocking anyway. The hair on my neck stands up as the thoughts of the pegasus enter my head. I focus and ward off the panic attack. At the time I was able to physically feel her and there is nothing of that sort happening now.

[i]Just open the damn door.[/i]

Also, the voice is still here and is becoming REALLY annoying. It's usually right about things though. I stop my martial arts exercise and open the door. There stands somepony I really don't want to see.

"Hey, blankflank idiot!" Choking's ex and four of his 'minions' greet me.

They didn't have to remind me of the embarrassing fact of missing my cutie mark despite my age. Also, they didn't have to come here but that's what bullies do and that's what these guys are. Well, no reason to give them an excuse they are looking for. They still are royal guards and I'm nothing.

"Hello."

He pushes me back into the room and all his friends follow him inside.

"I thought I told you to keep your hooves off my marefriend."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say and I honestly don't have a clue. Nothing happened between me and Choking after her blackout at the party.

"I'm sure you don't, you little liar. My friends saw her coming here pretty often."

Oh, that. Alright, now how to explain to an angry, big and well-trained earthpony that his ex-marefriend, who he's still crazy about, comes here to take regular showers and mockingly flirt with me? Hmmm, time to bite the bullet and hope I don't bite the dust later when he's done with me.

"She comes here to shower from time to time, that's all. She doesn't want everypony to stare at her in the gym showers."

"Oh? So you staring doesn't bother her?" he asks aggressively.

So much for a chance of peaceful solution.

"I don't spy on her, which can't be said about you!" I say before my brain or self-preservation instinct begins working.

"Why you little, GRAB HIM!" he shouts and his four friends grab my legs and stand on them while I'm spread-eagled on my back.

He comes close and says with a smile which shows real joy:

"I'm going to give you a little reminder. Just so you don't forget as easily as last time."

He begins kicking me all around but even without a chance to block I have enough muscles now to resist most of the difficult kicks. The real deal comes later when he's done.

"That was just a little personal touch. Now for something you'll remember for a while."

A chill runs down my spine as I realize what he means by that and no amount of muscles can help me when he jumps into the air and stomps down hard on my ribs. He is trained enough to know how not to cause a fatal wound so the chipped ribs will hurt for days but there will be nothing I could show as a proof of him attacking me.

"Oh and little something to keep you from having any naughty thoughts about MY mare."

He moves lower. Nonononononononononono.

"PLEASE NO!" I scream and with disgust about myself I know at that moment I gave him everything he wanted from the moment of opening my door.

Last thing I remember before my mind goes on vacation is his hoof rapidly reaching my crotch.

"HEY!"

I wake up with somepony shaking me. I really wish they wouldn't do that as each thrust causes fireworks in my chest.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," I lie.

"Yea I can see that," says Choking.

I realize that before passing out I threw up quite a lot and try to make an excuse.

"I-I just drank too much and forgot I can't handle it," I lie a bit more and hope she won't ask about the lack of any bottle in my apartment, flat... whatever.

She nudges my chest and I gasp when thousands of searing hot needles pierce my brain.

"I, uh, fell hard when I was doing my exercises," I improvise as fast as I can.

She still doesn't seem to be buying it so I try to derail her train fo thought.

"Do you need anything?"

"Well my shift is ending so I wanted to take a shower and hit some bars on the way home."

"My shower is your shower, you don't have to ask."

"Well yea but I couldn't miss the fact you're lying in a pool of... something without moving."

"Uh, sorry. I'll clean up ASAP."

I really hope that none of her ex's friends was watching her coming here, I really do. Taking stock of my body parts I feel my ribs hurting with every move but blissfully my crotch is completely numb although I can feel swelling in places I really don't want it to be. Ah well, perhaps I'll get lucky and this will slip unnoticed. I know I'm just trying to calm myself and I'm painfully aware of that. If he knew about Choking's visits before then he will know about her sooner or later because I'm not going to ban her from my apartment no matter the cost.

And I know the price will be all I have. I know his type.

I sit there shivering until the evening comes and with the darkness comes knocking on my door. I ponder what I could have done to avoid this but nothing aside from pushing Choking away or running away comes to mind. With tear in my eyes befitting a garbage coming to it's end I open the door and get ready to fight. I know I can't win. I know everything I've been practicing was mostly to keep myself warm and flexible and will not help in actual fight. Worst of all I know that even if by some lucky chance I won it wouldn't help because they would have an excuse to say I attacked them in some sneaky way and who would believe a word of five royal guards against a word of...

... nopony.

"I knew you were stupid but this takes a cake. Well, I hope you're ready for another lesson. Or maybe you just enjoy getting beat up."

I'm ready when four ponies try to grab me like before and punch two of them before they know what's going on. Unfortunately they are tough from guard training and it just stuns them for few seconds which I try to use to attack the others but even when surprised their reflexes kick in and my attempts at standing ground against five enemies finally prove pointless as they are better trained, bigger and coordinated.

"I would enjoy beating that spirit out of you but we have something more... lasting prepared. Since my friendly reminder today proved pointless we'll just have to get rid of you."

"You really think killing me will stay unnoticed?" I ask, distanced from what's happening.

"Killing? You'll just have an accident. You know this castle is fairly old and at night the stairs get cold and sometimes even slippery. Nopony will think twice about you when you're gone."

[i]He's right.[/i]

"I know," I whisper.

I lost and their plan is revealed when I see two huge bags of coal in front of my door. Maybe it's just the imminent doom but I grin when two of them try to haul those bags and have real trouble making it up a long, twisted staircase which seems perfect for their purpose.

"Need help?" I ask, taunting them.

A punch to the face is my answer but I still grin. My smile remains when they push both bags on my back at the top of the stairway. I'm not really attached to my life anyway so the only thought crossing my mind is that sometimes it takes dirt to get rid of dirt. I wasn't expecting to last long after leaving home but at least I was able to see a small ray of light before getting wiped off the face of Equestria and making it a bit brighter.

"You know, since it's so close to Heart's Warming Eve I feel charitable today. Sooo if you just stay away from Choking I might even let you walk away this time."

Heh. What an idiot.

"If you think I'm going to trouble the only mare who thought me worth a word even by not allowing her to shower in my damn apartment then you are even dumber than I thought."

I. Will. Not. Beg. For. Mercy.

"Do it!" he commands his companions and my legs get kicked away and I'm pushed down into the darkness.

Much like his previous kicking my balls, it only hurts a short while before everything disappears.


	7. New Life: Gift

[Choking's Entry]

Hi,

I found this diary thingy when I was going through Blaze's things. I'm not some kind of a thief but he's in the castle infirmary now so I wanted to get him something to make him feel like home. I also read the other entries and I think Valiant Charge had something to do with his 'accident'.

And I'm finding out it's fun bossing somepony around so I might try to go for a promotion but I'll keep Blaze around as my personal assistant. Since there is nothing even vaguely interesting here I'll just go visit him.

Note to self: Buy him a new hoodie for the winter.

Note two self: Start a diary, sounds like fun.

! And trust yourself a bit, dummy. !

[End Entry]

[hr]

I'm still alive.

I don't feel particularly happy so it just comes to me as a fact. The first thing that surfaces is that it will be found out and then they will try again unless I tell somepony. That seems pointless though as saying that five honorable royal guards tried to kill me out of jealousy would mean nothing to nopony. Also... what proof do I have?

Or am I?

No, I definitely am. The screaming pain from every little piece of my body tells me that. I'm lying on something soft so I definitely didn't end up on the ground after dropping a long flight of stairs. No, that makes no sense unless somepony put a bed on the final step. The bullies? Hardly.

So I'm alive and in a bed and with everything hurting.

The sterile and clean smell says hospital.

[i]That took longer than necessary.[/i]

"Shut up, voice!" I want to mumble but nothing audible comes out.

There is not much to do aside from sleeping so I try to get as much rest as possible. The castle will be coalless for few days but there is little I can do about it.

"How is he?" a voice from my left asks. I know it, the tones and cheery dynamics lost in the gravity of the situation.

"I can't tell that to just anypony, can I?"

"I'm his boss."

Wasting her time hurts me more than any physical injury. She could be having fun with a handsome colt comewhere and instead she's here... watching over a stupid, crippled pile of flesh. I really wish I could tell her to go away but my lips fail to move and no other part of body listens to me. Without having any ability to communicate with outside world I just drift off and time loses any meaning.

A voice wakes me up at a different time.

"Hey, I bought you something. I-I just want to say I'm sorry. So when you get well I want you to find this if I'm not here."

She's an idiot. There is no way she would have known her coltfriend would be a crazy pony although I can easily see why losing her might break somepony. She shouldn't feel sorry for something that can't possibly be her fault and moreso for something that hurt me of all ponies. I wish once again to be able to tell her that it's absolutely fine and that she should not worry about me but my damn mouth fails me repeatedly. Maybe if I sleep more I will get better and I'll be able to tell her to stop worrying about me.

"Well aren't you in deep trouble, my pet."

Buck my life, it's the nurse.

Last time I awoke I felt the white lady close but I wasn't able to do anything and I don't think it's going to be different this time but now she knows about me or maybe she's known all along and just now decided to act. I have no idea but now I have a unicorn nurse locking the room and walking towards me AND I can't move AND I doubt I will be able to hold against whatever she did to me last time.

"It pains me to see you like this. Let your queen take care of all those pesky wounds first and then we'll talk."

Her green eyes flash and I'm suddenly in a very familiar dizzy state although much weaker one. Still, I just move my head to expose my neck when I see her open mouth with two fangs. There is no fear, I know my owner would never hurt me, and I feel only joy when those fangs pierce my skin and a sense of calm spreads through my entire body. When it's over I look at the nurse questioningly.

It feels different. Unlike the first time when the sensation was almost ecstatic and destructive I'm now calm and warm inside with my head still being in control. Confused, I try to push her away from me and in shock I realize I can move my legs.

"Be a good subject and you can have more," she purrs and I know there is no magic involved. I just want to be hers no matter what.

And she knows that as well. She knew her magic wasn't working properly before but now it's different. And I know because she knows and she knows because I know. Who she is is a mystery to me but I know she's inside me and I'm hers.

"What do you want, my queen?" I say and feel my whole body weaken as if something is being taken away. On the other hoof something flows from her to me and replaces the missing piece.

"You can move around the castle without being noticed and bothered. Tell me everything you know about the guards and castle security."

I happily tell her everything I've seen during my time in the castle. It is not much but she doesn't seem disappointed when I'm done speaking.

"It's time for your reward then."

Reward? Me? My eyes open wide in surprise as she laughs at my confusion.

"Just tell me you love me," she says in a deep voice that sends shivers through every nerve of my being.

Somepony who helped me despite having no reason to. Somepony who somehow healed my wounds. Somepony standing right above me waiting for my next breath.

"I love you," I say and lose all feeling in my entire body while she licks her lips.

She opens her mouth and the twin fangs sink into my neck again. This time it feels like eternity but the burning from the pierced skin spreads through the entire body and revitalizes everything down to my legs.

"Try it out, drone," her slow voice echoes in my head.

I have no idea what she means. While I definitely feel better than before it's nothing significantly different from my usual physical state. I look at her not knowing what to do.

She seems confused as well. Have I failed her without knowing what she wanted? I shake my legs and feel that they are fine but the effort causes the pain in my chest to go back. I really wish that would heal just like the legs did.

"Whoa?!"

A miniscule green sparks run down my chest and I suddenly can breathe as easily as before.

[i]Well that's new.[/i]

"What is this?" I ask, looking at the nurse.

Her caring expression is gone, however. Something isn't right and we both can tell. Through narrow eyes she keeps measuring me.

"I'm sorry?" I try to ease the situation.

"Is everything you told me true?" she asks.

"Yes, I might be a lot of things but I'm not a liar."

"Then go and have a rest. I will be back some time."

I relax and bury my head into the pillow. That is one order I'm really happy to obey. Despite the mare being weirder than a stuffed mule, she did help me get better and at the moment I really don't care about any weird magical side effects.

She leaves and I doze off. When I wake up, the nurse is back taking some measurements from the machines monitoring me. Somehow I can feel it's not 'her' despite looking the same. That doesn't matter though, a red ball of energy is moving behind the entrance. Shaking my head to get rid of the weird sensation I see Choking coming in, I wave at her.

"Heya boss, sorry about my slacking off. I hope none of the princesses complained," I smile at her.

She joins in. Anything is easier than talking seriously.

"I think princess Celestia agreed to let the sun shine a bit longer when we asked her. Next time don't go breaking anything without asking though, my office is awfully cold."

I smile at her even more. I'm not good enough with words to tell her how happy I'm to see her. The energy seeps from her to me and feels like a small sun warming my bones through the skin.

After a while she takes a deep breath and says:

"I will leave you alone for a while. Valiant Charge is a possessive idiot and will go after you again."

"Don't, please."

Her wide-eyed expression amuses me more than anything. I want to collect my thoughts for long enough to explain this to her... properly.

"I don't know how to say it right so give me a second. Don't take this the wrong way and don't think about this more than you have to. I... I am nothing. I failed at everything I tried to do and yet I'm still good enough to make you smile a bit and every time I see you it brightens my day. So Valiant Charge be damned, you can visit my place as much as you like. You can do anything you want and I'm just happy to be around. It might be hard to understand from the viewpoint of somepony... good, but I didn't regret anything even when they threw me down the stairs. So please, even if it hurts me more, I don't want to be alone and the way things are now... I just feel happy."

Well I screwed up. Now she thinks I love her and it's all going to be awkward. In response to my speech the sun surrounding her gets smaller and smaller as she thinks about it.

Then something hits me hard in the head and despite seeing only red, I can feel the warmth from the side of the bed penetrating me deeper than before.

"That was the worst love proposal I've heard in my life," she says hesitantly.

"That's because it wasn't one, dumbass. I just like having you around," I try to defend myself.

"Riiiight," she grins and points at the thing which previously hit me in the head.

I disentangle the ball of red cloth and identify a red, warm hoodie.

"I read your diary and thought red would look better on that bronze coat," she nervously looks down at her hooves expecting an outburst at the invasion of privacy.

Fortunately for her, after having my mind opened and tangled twice by an unknown pony I consider her reading my little diary a pretty minor thing.

"Remind me to spank you when I save enough bits for a small whip."

I yawn. Magical regeneration or not, the body still wants it's rest and it doesn't escape Choking.

"I'll let you rest now."

"Thanks for coming, Choking."

"I will personally hurt you if you call me that again," she retorts.

"Noted. If I ever want to feel your personal touch I'll be sure to remember."

Well now I'm on her level of low-grade sex jokes. I grin to myself and explore the fangs I don't remember ever being in my mouth before. Evidently they come with a spark of determination I've never felt before.

If Valiant Charge touches me again, he will scream.

I promise.


	8. New Life: Accident

[Blazing's Entry]

The castle is a bit warmer again thanks to me and yesterday I even found the courage to ask around about the fireplace thing. Turns out it's partially gas-fueled and all I need is coal and a tinderbox to get it going.

Despite what Choking said her visits have been very rare lately and despite what I said I'm happy for that. Few days ago I went out and got myself a sleeping bag and some martial arts magazines to show me the right direction. Surprisingly enough, the goal is NOT to end up with your hind leg in your mouth. Who would have guessed?

Also, if you read this diary again, Choking, I will be shoving the coal somewhere else than into the coal chute and you can bet Celestia's sun doesn't shine there either.

[End Entry]

* * *

I hate to admit it but I'm kind of scared. I'm getting better at hitting the wall with all the kicks and punches but eventually it all feels like it's not enough, like it can't ever be enough. Is it even possible for a self-taught nopony to defend himself from an attack of multiple well-trained ponies? Wouldn't it really be better to just leave this place an seek new life elsewhere now that I have some experience in menial work and the references of working in the castle? Every time I try to think about the future these two questions pop up and I still have no answer. Well, that's not true - I know the answer to both.

Fighting is possible. From what I've read in one of the magazines there are some combat styles, like box, which are well-known in pony community and there is a lot of styles adapted from native griffon grab-and-throw combat. Most of those are taught in the Guard, I noticed that when I spent one free afternoon watching recruits in the castle gardens which means that's what I'll be going against unless they decide to go for a direct approach and bring weapons in which case I'm screwed. I guess it's pretty obvious at this point that I mean to keep my promise which will eventually lead to me confronting Valiant Charge and his croneys and, if things stay the way they are, will lead to a lot of pain on my side.

The worse part, and I'm not sure that is the case, is that something is happening to me. Since meeting the white lady in the infirmary I've been feeling weird and noticing the fangs in my mouth didn't really help. Still, I'm not biting my tongue as much as before which is a mild improvement but what surprised me most was when I accidentally did a move which was called four-twenty-MLG-no-scope (probably something lost in translation from ancient griffon) kick and landed poorly causing me to twist a hoof. I expected not being able to walk properly for at least a week but just by thinking about the wound it disappeared in a small burst of green fire. Granted, I was feeling weak and dizzy for a while after that but that might have been just shock from the healing. The reason it worries me so much is that after the fire disappeared, I lost the fur around my hoof and a small part of my leg changed into something. It still is the same bronze color as my coat but it's harder than skin and also heavier. I've never seen anything like that before. Also, it happened to my chest as well after healing the broken ribs and I've never been happier for a gift of clothing in my life. I'll just have to limit the healing to minimum until I find out the specifics of this... thing.

I'm not sure it's a good thing but I haven't felt the white lady since the infirmary incident meaning I have one less thing to worry about for a while.

"Practicing hard?"

"YAAAH!"

I have to admit I'm getting better at balancing on one leg and punching the air but that doesn't mean I'm better at keeping track of my surroundings. Thankfully, my terrified scream in no way slows the progress of my exercise and only serves to amuse my red and black visitor. She sits down on the rug from her office I still keep around despite having something better to sleep in and silently watches me as I continue with the slow motions intertwined with fast jabs and kicks. I don't really feel comfortable with somepony watching me but comfort is something I cannot affort at the moment. She doesn't interrupt me at any point though. With sweat dripping on the floor I finally finish my routine and I notice she hasn't left for the shower yet.

"You do this every day?" she asks.

"Well yea. Since the... accident."

The unspoken agreement is that all that happened was an accident but she knows. She caught on way too fast for this to be an isolated incident which made me think Valiant did this before to somepony else.

"Why?" the slow, careful tone worries me slightly.

"I used to do an easier version of this to keep myself warm before I found out how to operate the fireplace and now it just helps to move around a bit so I don't get fat."

"Maybe I should ask for double portions of coal every night if you feel you don't get enough exercise," she says. It sounds like her usual jokes but it feels completely different. I can't identify what's bugging me but I don't like it.

There is one more thing I attribute to the transformation and that is the ability to feel something about a pony. I have no clue what it is and I can't feel anything significant from most ponies around but being around Choking usually feels like being close to a small sun giving me energy to go on. As soon as I focus on this she yawns.

"Damn I must've been overdoing it lately. Feelin' tired all of a sudden."

"A mare getting sleepy in my presence, is it high school all over again?" I try to lighten the mood which for some reason seems normal but feels way different.

"Heh, maybe-" she collapses on the floor.

"What's going on?" I jump to her and pick her up, she is so light. I gasp at the difference which few weeks made in me.

"Mmmm, tired," she mumbles into my chest and I lower her down into my sleeping bag.

It must be a cold but she doesn't seem to be uncharacteristically warm, although I've never been an expert on the temperature of mares. I suppress every urge to keep her heat closer and when I put her down I realize her sun has shrunk down drastically. Must not panic, must keep my cool.

What now? The infirmary, of course!

[i]NO. Get away from her![/i]

I can't just leave her here.

[i]She's fine, YOU are the problem. Go as far as possible.[/i]

How could I be the problem? I would never hurt her. There must be a logical explanation.

[i]And you are not in the state to find it right now. There's something you can't control so get the buck out of the castle and hope to both princesses it's enough.[/i]

I run. The voice is right and I have enough control to admit that I'm not in the right frame of mind to think straight.

The Canterlot gates signal to me that I've ran way too far without slowing and getting tired in the slightest. No matter how hard I try I can't attribute this to any amount of exercise. I've never been a good runner and while my job got me into an excellent shape compared to when I arrived here this is too unusual.

So, what now? Leave the castle forever? AM I actually far enough? Is she okay?

[i]One by one.[/i]

I take a deep breath and begin walking slowly along the city walls. First things first - is she okay?

[i]Given that you've been close to her before without anything happening and all this began when you began trying to understand what the 'sun' was and focusing on it she should be fine. She was fine inbetween visits, right?[/i]

Right, so there was no reason to run around the entire city.

[i]Without getting tired. In fact, you are still full of energy.[/i]

Oh dear. So I have to control myself in her presence even more than usual, which is hard enough as it is?

[i]Not thinking with your junk helps.[/i]

The amount of sarcasm the voice emanates proves one thing - it definitely comes from within me. There is nothing which would like putting me down on the same scale as me.

[i]Guess who gets borderline schizofrenia as a Heart's Warming gift![/i]

Cut the crap. Can we go home now? The rush of 'everything will be okay' does more than an another run could.

[i]Yea. Just control yourself a bit more. Thinking with your balls in her presence might be amusing though.[/i]

Very funny.

[i]Do you prefer thinking with... whatever almost devoured her today?[/i]

I'm right and I spend most of my trudging through the snow thinking about how not to repeat my mistake. The castle and eventually the door of my home stand in front of me and I've still got nothing. I'm sweaty, wet and my legs are shaking in fear of what will happen now but I have to go inside.

The small sun is shining again in my sleeping bag and I feel the snow on my hooves melting. I smile.

[i]KITTENS COVERED IN SPIKES![/i]

I almost get a neck cramp from turning my head too fast and then I realize while I can feel the heat, I can 'see' Choking normally. She's waving at me.

"Sorry to have bothered you. Dunno what came over me," she says and I can't even describe how her cheery greeting makes me happy.

[i]Remember! USE YOUR LOWER BRAIN.[/i]

"Meh. I'm getting used to mares swooning over me now that I'm fit and sexy," I grin at her but this is the game she's a grandmaster at.

She licks her fangs and once again reveals how long her tongue really is.

"Gotta admit ya shaped up a bit since you came here. I might even wanna have a bite of that firm rump of yours."

I'm unable to stop the image in time and the game ends with my face burning and me looking at the floor trying to hide it.

"Ehm, uh, why did you come here earlier? You didn't seem interested in a shower."

The atmosphere turns serious again.

"Is there any way I can help you deal with Valiant Charge?"

[i]Sleep with him and then poison his sandwiches.[/i]

I hate both my selves.


	9. New Life: Help

[Blazing's Entry]

I like sandwiches for breakfast but fresh ones every day are out of my price range. Carrying coal around isn't as lucrative as it used to be during my younger years. Surprisingly enough, I also like eating ponies for breakfast. Don't take this the wrong way but I can't resist having a nibble whenever Choking visits me.

Thankfully, I can deal with it (whatever it is) and nothing like last time is going to happen ever again, I hope. The voice tells me not to write about the voice - it makes me sound like I'm crazy.

Right, the important stuff. I now have a practice partner. Choking is pretty terrible but her guard training helps her get better at much faster pace then I used to. The real problem comes with it though. My room is too small for two ponies to mess around and training in the castle gym would make us stand out so we decided to get together every night after I do my rounds. She has no problem seeing in the dark thanks to being a batpony and my night vision improved significantly either by the change or by me working every night.

Problem numero dos is that Valiant Charge is a drill sargeant meaning he's supposed to be really good with weapons and I have no way to practice martial arts against somepony that skilled.

Or do I? Perhaps Choking could pull some strings.

[End Entry]

* * *

"Why don't we take a break, Choking?"

I easily dodge her left hook aimed at my face.

"Told ya I'll hurt ya if ya call me that!"

"Ya ya ya," I parody her speech pattern.

She snarls at me and tries a move I showed her just today. This proves to be a terrible idea and after she ends up spinning around even I have hard time catching her.

"Wwwwzml?"

"You kinda need to stop the roundhouse kick at some point."

"Mmmzhf!"

"Break. Now," I command and let her fall flat on her rump.

When her eyes begin focusing again I give her a bottle of water and a banana. Thankfully she decided to do the shopping necessary for our nightly sessions so I didn't have to limit my requests too much. As expected, whenever I glance her way she begins to slide the banana deep down her neck. I'm used to it now, for her it's a twisted sign of friendship. I curse my wild imagination and cross my legs though, no matter how long I spend in her presence I still find her irresistible. What's worse, she knows and notices my every move. And she knows that I know.

Mares... can't live with them, can't live without them.

"I think I have a problem, Cho," I try a new nickname.

"Hmmmm... Cho. That doesn't sound half bad. Fire away!" she gulps down the rest of her banana.

"I need somepony to help me practice against an armed opponent. I mean I enjoy beating you up as much as anypony but Valiant is bound to notice us sooner or later and I don't think I'll be ready at this pace."

She thinks for a while and finally I can almost hear the wheels in her head click.

"Anything?" I ask carefully.

"I could ask a friend who owes me."

"Is he good?"

"Well he's not the best at any particular style but he's an all-rounder. Also, he's real smart so he could show ya if you're doing something completely wrong."

"It's not like I have a choice. I don't know anypony here aside from you."

She grins devilishly.

"I know I set a high friendship bar. Ya in then?"

"Yes I'm in. Who is he?"

"But you will have to ask him yourself!" she completely forgets her accent or whatever-it-is which makes me think she just fakes it whenever she wants. Or she fakes speaking normal, I honestly don't care at this time.

"FINE, I'll ask him myself if I think it's worth it."

Her grin widens and I'm getting the feeling of a fish dragged upwards in a net.

"Sharp Biscuit."

Somehow this doesn't feel as devastating as I expected it to be. I mean he's big and stompy and scary and...

"Close your mouth or something will fly in."

I try to get up and my wobbly legs just refuse to work. Breathe in, breathe out.

"I-I'll ask him in the morning."

"Nope! Not giving you a chance to wiggle out of this. Besides he's a Nightguard so his shift began a while ago."

"One more reason not to bother him right now."

"You are NOT getting away from this."

My brain completely stops working.

"He'll eat me!" I sqeal weakly.

"Oh come on, batponies don't drink blood and eat meat... much, and I'm pretty sure Sharpie is a vegetarian."

"I'm a potato."

"Hey don't faint! Seriously that's the worst panic attack I've seen somepony have."

"Nnngh."

"Alright. I can go and tell Valiant you've been harrassing me and that I want him back."

"OWWW," I bite down hard and unfortunately my tongue is in the way.

"Well that worked."

"Awe you fewiouf?"

"Of course not, now stop overreacting. Sharp is a great guy if you get to know him."

I sigh loud enough to rattle the castle windows but grudgingly stand up. Perhaps Sharp will kill me and I won't have to deal with the crazy drill sargeant anymore. One can only hope.

I know the layout of the castle better than most ponies now and I lead the way to princess Luna's room where I expect her bodyguard to be. When I lift my hoof to knock at the door I realize I can feel Choking standing further away then she's been the entire time of following me and for once I grin to myself. I was right.

I turn around without hesitation and look directly at Sharp Biscuit's neck. Damn that size difference is annoying. I adjust my position and the glowing yellow eyes don't destroy any semblance of reason this time. I bow a little to show my respect to the grey-coated guard.

"Good to see you're not shaking anymore. Blazing Light, was it?" he asks and I have to admit his voice dispells all doubts about him and all my worries. It still is a bit depressing seeing somepony not much older than me but completely different from me in every concievable way... better than me.

[i]Not. Helping. Anything.[/i]

Right.

"I'd like to ask for your help, mister Biscuit."

"Sharp is fine. Yeah I guessed right then when you brought THAT to me," he lets a small smile appear on his face and waves his hoof in Choking's direction.

"Hey!" she objects but doesn't continue. I've seen her talking to a lot of ponies over time but there were only two who recieved a tone other than 'you-me-bed-now' from her - Sharp and Me. What's between them? It doesn't matter now though.

"I need a bit of practice against an armed enemy and Choking, who is sitting there and making puking noises, thought you could help."

"Oh? Some ponies are threatening to hurt you if they don't get more coal?"

"Eeeh no. It's a bit more personal."

"Just kidding. You can guess who spent a night at my place drinking herself silly while swearing painful revenge on her ex."

"SHUT UUUUP!" a blushing Choking charges at Sharp who just moves his spear slightly and trips her up. The loud 'thud' as she hits Luna's door echoes through the hallway.

Moments later the midnight-blue head peeks out of the opening door.

"I am deeply sorry, princess, for disturbing you but I have to ask you for a night off. Personal matters."

"Then I need not to know more. Do whatever you have to, we can take care of ourselves. Heavens know you deserve it," says the princess and closes the door.

"Let's go to the gym, it should be empty at this hour."

We descend to the castle cellars.

I've never been to the castle gym before and it's obvious that the ponies responsible for it's use know the importance of technology as the set of rooms is well-lit and heated.

"Music? I think there's new Sapphire Shores album." asks Sharp when we enter.

"Bleh. Can't stand that pop crap. Got anything from Vinyl there?" Choking offers her idea of ripped eardrums.

I can almost hear Sharp's fur stand up when he says:

"On the other hoof, it might be easier to concentrate like this."

He takes off his silver armor and I almost whistle when I see every conture of the guard. He isn't bulky or overly muscular but the sinewy, yet lean frame is something to admire.

[i]Stop drooling, gay pony.[/i]

I'm not, at least I think so, but this is too close for comfort. I still have to say that while I'm of more 'feminine' stature I'm a stallion enough to admit when a guy looks really damn good.

"I guess you would want to practice against a staff as it is Valiant's weapon of choice," Sharp asks.

"Makes sense. I'm going unarmed then."

"You are stupid then," he parodies me.

"Eh? I can't use any weapon."

"That may be true but there are times when you're going to have to block and a staff might break your bones anyway. Also, take your hoodie off and I'll show you something."

Bad idea if ever I saw one. The last thing I want them to see is the strange plating on me as most of the fur on my chest is already gone.

"Don't be nervous, Blaze. If there's somepony I trust it's Sharp," Choking whispers to me.

[i]Don't do it.[/i]

Can I trust her enough? Can I trust him? I take off my clothes.

"Same as the leg?" Choking asks.

"You know?"

"Well I've been close to you enough times to notice, good job hiding the chest though."

"Never seen anything like this myself but it doesn't matter. A friend asked me to beat you up and I owe her," smiles Sharp.

He then begins his lecture.

"You might be better at martial arts than me but you obviously know nothing about real combat. Firstly, take these, those are combat horseshoes and will allow you to block real weapons without breaking your legs. Secondly, I will have you learn a bit of staff combat to know what your enemy can do to you which is way more important than just knowing your moves. Thirdly, I will beat some real strategy into your head. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Hmm?"

"Yes, Sharp!"

"That's better. Now let's get rolling."


	10. New Life: Conflict

[Blazing's Entry]

Ouch. Heart's Warming is tomorrow and for the first time in my life I feel it actually means something. All the family celebrations and all the gifts always left me feeling empty but something about Sharp beating me up with a blunt stick and Choking laughing at my lack of skill makes me feel better.

It's not so one-sided though, I've beaten Sharp more than once but he always pulls out a different weapon to beat any victorious thoughts out of my head and I'm grateful for that because I know more than well how easy it is to start thinking too much of oneself. We still focus mainly on the staff though.

Also, he's interested in stallions apparently. I don't know whether to feel embarrassed or flattered when we shower after every workout and I catch him looking at me but for the time being I have different things to worry about. I'm not even sure whether to worry about him or my own reaction because whenever I catch his stare I know it was only because I wanted to take a peek myself.

The worst part is that Choking showers with us, only when we are alone of course, and there is nothing that escapes her attention. I think I've heard enough quarterstaff innuendos to last a lifetime but Sharp doesn't seem to be bothered so why should I?

Oh and I forgot to mention that the Elements of Harmony defeated the god of chaos some time ago. That's just to put my problems in perspective to the problems of ponies who are truly interesting. I probably should have noted that at the relevant time but I think I was just happy not being turned into a squirrel.

[End Entry]

[hr]

I walk out of the castle to do my routine after finishing with coal delivery. Having the entire night to do it gives me a lot of flexibility in my schedule and tonight I fancied a bit of rest.

I hate cold. No that's not right. I positively despise cold but something about moving around in it and then walking back into my warm room makes me suddenly burst out in flames from inside - a unique feeling of a body trying to warm itself up while being outside and then still working while recieving the heat from the fireplace.

The best thing about walking outside at night is that I don't have to wear anything and on a clear, calm night like this I enjoy not being constricted without being afraid of anypony noticing my armor plates.

I'm now sure it is armor as it proved strong enough to withstand some blows from Sharp's staff without breaking or bruising, it still hurt though. I begin to stretch and slowly move around in a pattern I learned from my magazines which is supposed to warm up every muscle. The warming up part, however, ends quickly when I accidentally glance towards the castle entrance.

The part more chilling than the night air comes soon after when I recognize the five ponies coming towards me. Two pegasi, two unicorns and their leader in front - a big, brown earthpony with a sadistic smile. The staff on his back signals that tonight's the night I've been trying to avoid for so long, or at least get ready for it. Whether or not he's consciously brought friends in the perfect combat unit pattern (See? I learned something from Sharp!) it only lowers my chances of victory. I squint at them and almost pee myself on the spot. Guess I wasn't really convinced that this is real until now. The pegasi are wearing razors on their wings, the unicorns are levitating swords and still my legs give up when Valiant Charge gets closer and his staff with spiky, metal ends comes to focus. The worst part is that during evey practice with Sharp I was able to block the staff blows with combat horseshoes if worst came to worst but now I don't have them... and they have real weapons, one of which is adapted to be unblockable and two of which I haven't seen before.

"Why hello there, coalface!" he greets me cheerily when he sees me fall down on my rump.

[i]Get up![/i]

What's the point? There's too many of them... maybe they'll make it quick this way.

"Awww, he's crying," he laughs again and his minions join him.

[i]This. Is. Bad.[/i]

Yes it is. I trained every little thing I was able to but I forgot one thing - when it comes to the real thing I fold faster than a lawn chair. I'm just a coward who was lying to himself the whole time and these guys will make sure my brown streak ends here.

"I almost pity you, scrub, but you know this could have been avoided if only you kept your filthy hooves off my Choking Darkness."

"You don't even know how much she hates that name," I manage to say between sobs.

The cracking of snow under hooves gets behind me meaning I'm surrounded.

"Well you have no idea how much I LOVE the name. It and everything it's connected to."

"You just want her because you can't have her," I just try to provoke him. Nothing really matters anymore.

"And here was me thinking I'll end you quickly, trash. Just so you understand, she already IS mine. It just might take few more broken legs for her to see it and stop resisting. Or maybe a little mention of you after they find your corpse down the mountain will show her who to obey."

[i]This isn't about you![/i]

What? I'm the one who is getting a final one-way ticket pretty soon.

[i]You know you are worthless but think about her. She will one day find somepony perfect and this... this THING will go after him, or her as the case may be.[/i]

I'm pretty sure she's straight but she'll hump anything that moves.

[i]And after few dates she'll find he's either leaving her out of fear or he will just disappear. The guards will not look too hard if there isn't anypony willing to. Or she will break and stay with Valiant, treated like property and then thrown away when he gets bored. You can stop it right here.[/i]

I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! I thought I could fight but I can't even force my legs to move.

[i]Then it's over. Nice knowing you.[/i]

"Nice knowing you, coalface," he ends it.

"Anypony got the photo?" asks Valiant his group.

"Got it right here, boss. You can even make out the wet face."

"She's gonna love it,"

[i]Some friend you are. Helping this piece of crap.[/i]

I'm going to die here either way. Soon everything will stop being important and my business. I can just let go and all the blaming voices will stop, I will cause no more pain to anypony.

[i]But that's not true now, is it?[/i]

"Time to take out the trash," says the voice behind me.

I'm not only going to die while causing more pain to the only friend I have but with the worst possible catchphrase imaginable. No... just for giving up this easily I don't deserve the easy way out.

Full of grim determination I grin. With the next crackle of snow behind me I throw myself to the ground and kick hard with my hind legs. It was the pegasus whose pained scream now echoes through the castle gardens, he won't be flying any time soon and the razors drop from his trashed wing.

[i]That's the spirit. If you can't even die without hurting anypony then HURT THE RIGHT ONE! Sword from above.[/i]

I roll to the side and blindly charge upwards when I hear steel bury itself in the ground. The shower of blood is my reward when my horn gores the neck of one enemy but I must not stand still otherwise I will die, that much I know.

[i]Wide staff swing.[/i]

Jumping back, I feel the draft of air when something just barely misses my chest and I kick the stuck sword out of the ground. It leaves a gash in my armored leg but no blood comes out. If by some divine grace I survive this I'm going to fulfill Sharp's wildest shower fantasy for teaching me some sword basics.

[i]Razors rushing from behind. Staff stab from the front. Sword swing from the left.[/i]

Three sides at once is a lot to take in but the repeat of my first risky move pays off and I break the wing of the second pegasus leaving him to feel the impact of Valiant's spiked staff which passes directly above me and sends him flying backwards. My sword flies straight towards the armed unicorn as the unarmed one doesn't want to tangle with the ball of pain around me. The darkness is my friend as my sword isn't as visible for them in the shadows cast by lamps which they dropped on the ground when the assault began.

[i]The pegasi are out, one unicorn is hurt and the other is hesitating.[/i]

The voice melds with my thoughts and sensory input letting me dodge everything up to the point where I assess the situation and fail to see the upswing of Valiant's staff which hits my chest directly. For a second I have no idea what happened until I drop on my back a fair distance away. The next swing I can block with my front leg which has the fortunate effect of saving my skull from the hit with the drawback of losing the use one of my limbs.

[i]It's coming again.[/i]

I can see it but with one of his hind legs on my stomach I can't dodge and the wide staff arc ends with an impact to my side. I've never played golf but suddenly I have a good idea how the ball must feel.

"Dear Luna NO! PLEASE NO!" I hear a voice I really don't want to hear now but when a scream of pain reaches my ears I grin to myself again. Choking just ended the sex life of one of the attackers.

"Too bad, love. It's happening and will keep on happening until you're a bit more flexible about our relationship. And don't even think about telling anypony, I have four witnesses here."

Yea. That's not happening.

[i]Yea. That's not happening.[/i]

For once both me's are in sync and I can feel magic flowing through my body. It is a mix of two powers one of which I can't understand, the first is the usually weak telekinesis but this time it's flowing freely and I rip both swords from their resting places. The other one is the white lady's gift which restores my broken leg in an instant and as the green fire lights Valiant's grimace I want to throw up but for once not because of me. I can feel the red sun from Choking and I can feel every little bit of greed and hatred from the earthpony.

The snarl which escapes my mouth is the vocal equivalent of a judge reading prisoner his charges and with both swords in the air I intend to be the executioner.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, whatever you are," he says and I can't stop in time when I realize he's been baiting me.

I don't even feel any pain. In truth, I don't feel anything and in panic I don't try to analyze and I just send all I have to restore my entire body. It is different from the usual discomfort and I scream in pain as the green fire obscures my vision.

It gives me enough time to act on instinct though. With shattered spine repaired in an instant I swing my heavy hoof and break Valiant's quarterstaff into two pieces. There is only red now but I don't want to kill him... yet. I want to hear him scream, to beg for mercy from Choking so I grab both spiked pieces of his staff and strike over and over.

And not only him. All of them will pay.


	11. New Life: Lucky

[Blazing's Entry]

It's Heart's Warming Eve and I'm writing this entry a bit confused but happy. Down in the castle ballroom there is a loud celebration and the sounds reach even up here from time to time. I'm done with my rounds so there isn't much to do aside from enjoying the warmth of a burning fireplace.

[End Entry]

* * *

Somepony knocks at my door and I stop thinking about the entry helping me summarize what actually happened. I can't help not being a bit worried though, last night was really strange.

I let out a sigh of relief when the visitor proves to be Choking. It could have been way worse.

* * *

The screams of pain and the begging I was so long waiting for finally come. Not that I'm willing to fulfill any of Valiant's wishes but his pleas for forgiveness make the world right again.

"Stop it, Blaze," I hear from somewhere but my entire mind can take in only one thing and that is the earthpony screaming at my hooves.

I stomp on his hind leg again just to see him squirm.

"STOP. Right now."

I don't care about the voice and bite down on Valiant's chest tearing out a chunk of flesh. There are things with which my new fangs and sharper teeth help a lot. The disbelieving expression which completely drowns his agony drives me ecstatic. Getting eaten by another pony, how unique. The maniacal laugh comes from the depths of my bones and they joy I feel is only mirrored by Valiant's horror.

Something knocks me down on the ground and lying on my back I can see Choking sitting on me and pinning my legs down.

"What is this?" she slides her hoof over my chest and legs.

I look down and realize all my fur is gone, replaced by the plating. She's already seen it before but with me being weirded out by my entire body, she must be shocked as well. I can only imagine how my face must look right now.

The sun inside her almost completely fades and I stop struggling. She is very light and I could just throw her away but that just seems inconcievable.

"What are you?!" she snarls.

Not 'who' but 'what'. And she's right. I almost let her down. I almost gave up which would leave her in his hooves. I almost threw her on the ground when she stopped me few seconds ago. I don't deserve to be called a pony by her.

Looking anywhere else than into her beautiful red eyes I say:

"I'm just something that should have ended in a dumpster as soon as it arrived here in Canterlot."

The punch confuses me but doesn't really hurt. Maybe it's the armor or maybe I'm just too tired to feel it but everything seems to be fading. A regal voice pierces the air.

"Take it to the dungeon!"

"Wait, princess!"

The clunking of armor around me stops.

"We are listening."

Choking looks at me or at least that's what I think because I still don't dare to look at her face. This is the second time my entire future rests in her hooves and much like before she has no good reason to let it stain them more.

"Just... just end it," I whisper and get a hoof in my mouth as a reward.

"Interrogate him personally, your Highness, please. He's a Nightguard... technically so he has the right to it."

"We see no reason to do so. IT definitely is not a pony and there are enough eyewitneses around here."

Something wet drops on my armor. Even when it protects me I can feel every little sensation albeit weaker than through skin.

"Please! Ask Sharpie if you have to."

Time passes with me only feeling Choking's weight on my chest and hearing a muted conversation from somewhere, I can't understand the words though.

"Take it to the dungeon! We will deal with it personally."

I can't move. All the energy pushing me forward burned out when Choking was sitting on me but that is not a problem to the group of Nightguards who carry me to a part of the castle previously unknown to me. I guess prisoners don't get coal to keep warm. I feel the hesitation of the batponies but in the end they decide to put me down on the wooden plank serving as a bed instead of throwing me on the ground where I drift off.

"Wake up!" says the voice of Sharp Biscuit, the calming harmonics completely gone. He's here on official business.

Not wanting to bother him I sit up and when the world begins spinning I slam to the ground.

"S-sorry, Sharp," I apologize and try to get up but despite all my efforts it takes eternity to just get up on the bed.

"First things first. What are you?" asks the voice behind Sharp which, when I focus long enough to move my head, proves to be princess Luna.

I try to repeat the same thing I told Choking but before I open my mouth Sharp Biscuit intervenes:

"And don't bother the princess with your personal baggage!"

I understand immediately. He isn't sure but leans towards being on my side at this moment if I don't mess up too much. Better stick to the facts.

"I am a unicorn, princess."

Despite the contrasting evidence she doesn't press the issue.

"Why do you look like this?"

"I don't know."

"WHO are you?"

"Blazing Light. I carry coal around the castle every night."

"What happened in the gardens?"

I tell her everything and when she asks for details Sharp chips in with his knowledge of the situation.

"I have nothing more to ask. The situation seems pretty clear," says princess Luna and stands up to leave.

"Wait, please!" I groan at the princess.

"Yes?"

"Why did Cho want you to involve yourself personally?"

Princess Luna just smiles and nods at Sharp Biscuit.

"Take care of this, we have much to think about."

Sharp sits down on the bed next to me.

"Do you know how the justice system in Canterlot works?"

"Not really," I admit.

"Every crime gets judged in the same way as everywhere else in Equestria."

I don't understand and look at him. He boops my nose with his hoof and continues.

"Except for when it revolves around a member of royalty or the Guard in which case one of the princesses has to involve herself. Since YOU are somehow connected with the Nightguard, you get princess Luna and should consider yourself lucky since her dreaming ability allows her to sense if somepony is lying."

"That means she-"

"Knows you were unclear about how you became whatever you are but she let it slide."

"You know... I told myself during the fight I would fulfill your every shower fantasy for helping me so much."

"Eh... so you noticed?" he asks and I can't believe I managed to get the immovable batpony nervous.

"Are you kidding? Blind mule wouldn't miss it even without Choking's jokes."

"Well she's known for quite a while but I hoped you'd ignore her messing around," he says and I can tell he's blushing through his grey coat.

"If it helps I still mean it, even though I look weird and I don't know why anypony would give me a second loo-" I say, speeding up and becoming unintelligible towards the end.

"So you're into stallions?"

"I don't know, alright? It's more like I'm not against anypony who for whatever reason finds me... interesting, no matter what sex they are."

He mumbles something to himself.

"So what now? Am I free or mhmmfgh-?!" I stop and my eyes bulge when the Nightguard kisses me. I try to answer in kind but I've never done anything like this before so I just mirror his movements.

"You are terrible at this," he says smiling when our lips part.

"Not... much... experience?" I get out of me while burning more than a gas stove and staring at Sharp's breastplate.

"Yes you are free, for now. If the princess needs you, she knows where to find you. I guess she will be interrogating your attackers when they wake up. You made quite the mess. So, well, if you want more training I'm sure Darky can tell you where I am."

With this he rushes out of the cell. I can hardly believe it, did things work out somehow?

[i]Seems so, sweetcheeks![/i]

I grin to myself. My first kiss wasn't much like I imagined.

But heck... I loved every second of it.

* * *

"I gotta thank ya for that," says Choking and gives me a box of something.

"For what?"

"Sharp usually gets real depressed during this time of year but when I met him earlier his smile was wider than-"

"He told you?!"

"Huh? You were mumbling to yourself and recounting stuff for your diary. Gotta admit you look really weird walking around lost in thought."

I roll my eyes, so much for this being a secret.

"Let me ask you something, Chokey," I try a new one.

"Not bad. As a reward you get one question!" she says in the voice impersonating the royal master of ceremonies.

"Why are you here?"

"My apartment is too big and cold," she answers simply. Simple answer is not what I'm looking for right now.

"You've been great to me since we first met and you had no reason at the time. Now it's supposed to be the happiest evening of the year and there is a huge celebration going on in the ballroom. You could be having your pick of nobles and guards or you could be with your family, instead you are here with... well, me."

"My folks have a ton of work this time of year and get home too tired to spend time together. For the rest - I can have my pick of anypony at any party. Stop looking at me like that! I know you start drooling every time I turn my back you."

"Guilty as charged."

"Well I wanted to invite you at first but then I remembered how you don't like crowds so I just wanted to visit you and wish you merry Heart's Warming. You may have hard time believing it but I do enjoy your company."

I have hard time believing it.

[i]Go along with it. What can you lose if she's telling the truth?[/i]

"I-I just don't know what to do right now. I've never-"

"Spent time with somepony who liked you?"

Even in this situation it hurts to admit it.

"Kind of. I just don't see a reason for your liking me."

"Why do you have to be so difficult? You did something yesterday that nopony else even considered for me. You got all your legs broken for me and you lost your pony form because you wanted to protect me more than keep something that could hurt you a secret. So stop overthinking stuff. I'm not saying I love you and want to spend the rest of our time together. I'm just saying you matter to me in a way difficult to explain. I only wish you skin wasn't so hard," she says and gives me a big hug.

I try something out and small sparks run over my entire body.

"Better?"

"Now THAT'S pretty cool!" her eyes widen and she begins poking me all over.

"Hey! I want to finish off today's diary. I haven't written a thing, almost."

"Alright, alright. These are some sweets from the party. Sure you don't wanna come?" she asks and points at the box she brought.

"No. Thanks for asking though," I smile back at her.

"Kay. I'll be thinking of you tonight if I get lucky with some visiting prince," she makes me blush before leaving.

"Oh, one more thing. How did you know I was being attacked?" I want to know one last detail.

"I was going to your place to ask if you wanted to practice and I saw a group of well-armed ponies who weren't on duty walking around. Since it was Valiant I knew it had to be connected with an accident magnet like you so I ran up to ask Sharpie for help and then I ran back immediately."

"Well, thanks. I'm not going to waste more of your time. Have fun and drink responsibly."

"It's never a waste, dummy. Bye."

The door slams shut.

Kiss from a dude and a pity hug from my best friend. If this is what I get I'll gladly turn into a monster and go berserk every day.

Perhaps I should go down and mingle a bit? Nah, let's just see if there is somepony running the cafeteria at this hour so I can get some milk.

Best night of the year.


	12. Bronze Armor: Change

[Blazing's Entry]

Things are CRAZY right now.

Valiant Charge got orders to relocate to some border fortress and now he's checking passports of visiting griffons. I would love to see him swing for the double murder attempt but as it turns out he is the second son of some noble family that has ties with Celestia and to keep peace and balance between highborne class and current government they let him go. The thing keeping me warm at night though is that he's on probation. If he even touches somepony or gets into connection with somepony suspicious, his life is forfeit. This might seem easy to abuse but he really should have died without even having this second chance.

Chokey's been promoted to some kind of officer status for displaying leadership and diplomacy required for dealing with a big case involving somepony with higher rank than her and her own subordinate. Personally I think it was just to shut her up, she's been more pissed about Valiant's verdict than me. Now that she has her brand new office she spends less time at my place and as annoying as her visits usually were, I kinda miss it. We still practice together though and Sharp always has some advice for either of us.

I'm not sure how things stand between us. We haven't talked about what happened during Heart's Warming but Sharp seemed happy when I asked him to train me more and Chokey doesn't really like to think too hard about things so I guess everything is back to normal.

Also thanks to some old law stating that trainers must be the best ponies-at-arms and with their defeat comes their successor I've been promoted as well to a drill sargeant. The best thing is that I don't have to go through any classes or recruit training because technically I was a guard already although one of lower rank than the castle garden fence. The worst thing is that the year of combat training for newbies has just ended and there is a new batch coming.

I'm gonna be teaching recruits.

[End Entry]

[hr]

"Wearing armor sucks," I complain when the black batpony shows me how to tighten the straps of my breastplate.

"Look in the mirror and say that again, mister natural platemail."

"I mean I can't even move properly. How can I show somepony how to do pushups with this amount of metal on me?"

"You don't have to be doing everything with them, just show them few times and then shout at them while they sweat out the fat."

"Me? Shout at somepony?" I lean back and try to run away but she's holding the piece of metal bound to me and refuses to let go.

"Yea, it's easy. I remember it from my recruit days. Just end your every sentence with worm, maggot or piece of something nasty."

"I can't teach anypony. My weapon skills suck," I retreat to a position easier to defend.

"Oh shush. You are without a doubt the best mari- marti- kicky-punchy guy in the Guard and Sharp says he can't beat you with a sword no matter how hard he tries."

"SLANDER!" I overact a bit but it's true. Our last sessions with me using combat horseshoes or a sword were kind of one-sided.

"Also he says you're terrible at using a spear and usually inclined to break your own legs with a staff swing. Perhaps you two could find a better use for long double-ended polished stick?"

"Aaaaand there goes my overactive imagination, thanks for that. Now I won't be able to even talk to him without blushing."

"Got your mind offa newbies?"

I sigh. If only I had a counter to know how many times I usually do that during a conversation with her.

"It helped. By the way, you know I'm going to just take it off when the session starts anyway?"

"First impression is important, gotta look official. Now where did I put the helmet?"

"Noooooo I don't want to wear a bucket! I can't hear a thing in it," this time I really mean it. There is NOTHING I hate wearing more than a helmet. My transformation improved my hearing quite a lot and wearing the piece of padded metal deafens me completely. I guess since the difference isn't so big for normal ponies they don't take it so hard.

"Fine, but you have to carry it with you then," she admits defeat after seeing that a wild ox cart couldn't budge me on this.

"Is it really necessary? Shouldn't the first lesson be something like showing them around the castle or the recruit barracks?"

"They already had orientation and some classes a week ago. Now it's time for their basic training."

"Won't they be freaked out by how I look?" I finally vocalize something that's been bothering me a LOT. I still have my mane and tail but with my whole coat replaced by bronze plating I feel uncomfortable around others more than ever before.

She holds my head and looks me in the eyes. I don't look away for once because I want to enjoy every second of her red irises piercing my thoughts.

"I don't mind. Princess Luna didn't seem to mind. Sharpie would bone you in a second despite everything and nopony ever complained aside from you. If some dumb kid thinking he's the boss around here has a problem with you then just tell him to drop and give you twenty. That should teach them."

"I can't force them to give me money!"

"Good one. That means pushups, not bits, dummy. If it helps I'll come and visit you sometimes. We could do a little demonstration for them."

I really should be grateful for somepony forward enough not to let my defense mechanism win but the thought of somepony's future prospects resting in my hooves is terrifying. This isn't about me anymore.

"But what should I do? I mean should I teach them weapons or something else? What if it's not enough and they fail during whatever exam you Guards give them? That will be MY fault."

"I think that if you teach them whatever helped you absolutely destroy the best staff user in the guard and his four henchponies while fighting in snow and darkness they should be fine. Also the combat exams aren't that bad. They get to choose a weapon and then they get smashed by a far more experienced guard. The trick is to last long enough for him to give you a passing grade. Not always in a fight of course," she grins when a memory comes to her.

I try to decipher this for a while.

"You slept with your exam... guy?" I finally realize and am surprised at how little I am surprised.

"What can I say? I'm a lover, not a fighter. Maybe you'll get lucky as well."

I pretend to be writing things in an imaginary notebook.

"Turn into a monster. Go berserk. Lose all your fur. If all else fails, sleep with me. Check!"

"Close enough. Sprinkle into it some deep cosmic wisdom and you're set. Don't look at me like that! I've read some of your griffon mags. Be calm as the depths of the sea, strike with the unstoppable force of a tsunami and your mind can shatter a mountain!" she imitates a passage I quickly remember.

"To be fair, that griffon did just break twenty bricks with his forehead. Anypony would be confused after that. Jam beats marmelade and with fateful stars shining on your toaster the breakfast is complete!"

"See? Easy! Now go and show them who's boss. I won't be able to make it today but I'll try to catch up with you tomorrow during lessons."

[i]They are scared of you more than you of them.[/i]

If that's the case, there will be a lot of cleaning up to do.


	13. Bronze Armor: Newbies

[Blazing's Entry]

In accordance to my new position I have to spend two hours twice a day teaching recruits how not to get stomped when breaking up a bar fight. I've never been in one so it's a work in progress. Honestly, I'd much rather go back to carrying coal.

Oh, right! I don't have to haul anything anymore and I got a small office to do the paperwork required. Also I'm getting an absurd amount of money right now. I mean it's no crazy amount but I have no idea what to do with it since all I've been buying until now was food.

The bad thing is that my new position means I have to move out of the castle or sleep at the barracks. It's uncertain when since nopony applied for the coal job yet but it will have to be soon.

[End Entry]

[hr]

I was expecting something else from the recruits. Some of them are younger than me, fresh from school, but a lot of them are normal stallions who decided that a prestigious job in the Guard is worth the risk of being eaten while patrolling country roads and some are ex-guards or reservists who are here for retraining.

That means a lot of the ponies standing in front of me and trying not to stare know way more about what we are about to do than me. Thankfully there are no pegasi in my group and I have to remember to buy Choking a cake for that, those ponies require a way different exercise than I can offer.

There's twenty ponies looking at me right now and I have no idea what to do so I stare back and try to look as stern as possible. The silence begs to be filled and with my gaze sizing up every single pony standing lined up their nervousness rises causing mine to drop. I choose to focus my attention on one of the few ponies standing at attention and saluting properly.

"You seem to know what you're doing," I comment, baiting him to fill the unspoken question. To show I'm not bothered about him being about two heads taller than me I stare squarely at his chest.

"I used to serve on the griffon border, sir. Got my eye gouged out in a skirmish so I'm here."

So that's why one of his eyes looks weird. I've never seen a glass one before but now I can easily identify it. I nod at him and move to the next experienced looking pony, this one is a white earthpony with blue mane, tail and patches of fur around his hooves. He seems about my age and needless to say, he's almost as big as the older soldier guy but nowhere close to his physique.

"And you?"

"Eh... Heavy Hoof, sir. I-I'm fresh from Trottingham Military Academy. Sorry to be so big, sir."

The burst of laughter from others at his nervousness doesn't phase me in the slightest. If he's worth it then he won't need much encouragement to be more than okay in the company.

"It's not about size but about skill," I borrow an ice-breaker from Choking's book and try to cheer the earthpony up as another burst of laughter seems to be getting to him.

"If you survived the TMA then you're going to be just fine here," I say and hope it's convincing enough since I have no idea what I'm talking about. Before he can think this through I move to the final interesting pony. He's a dark-grey earthpony with light blue mane and contrary to everypony else his glare is almost physically unfriendly.

He has no idea who he's threatening though. I'm more than used to ponies looking at me with enmity or disgust. Still, no reason to pour oil on the fire.

"Soldier as well?" I take a wild guess.

"No, caravan guard, and I've spent enough time walking through the Everfree Forest to know what you are, bug. The Guard is stupid to have something like you around."

[i]Ohhhh kaaay. This got weird quickly.[/i]

So much for being friendly. I still try to keep this on an official basis.

"All I want to know is that you can obey orders."

"I would never desert my duty but if I ever feel weak at the knees I'm cutting your damn head off."

[i]Alright, he's not just some stupid bigot. How to get him to secretly tell me what I am?[/i]

"I'll try not to be too charming for you then," I try to ease the situation and it works for everypony thanks to their chuckling but somehow it makes him even more angry.

Time to get going then. The ones standing out are on my list so it's up to me to show them I'm actually more than just a loudmouth unicorn-ish thing in Nightguard armor.

"Since most of you here are in terrible physical condition we'll be doing standard physical exercises for some time before you even get to see a practice weapon. I hope the ones who are in shape don't give you hard time for that. So let's start with fifty pushups everypony. You can do it in one set or split it any way you choose, the only objective is to finish. I'll be doing the exercise as well."

I throw down my armor and ignore the gasps. I don't have to force them to accept anything about me, I'm just here to make sure they fulfill their wish of being physically fit to join the Guard. Things become obvious when I'm done waaaay faster than even the ex-soldier. I spend my free time walking around and giving advice where I feel it's needed.

"That was just to size you up and there's a lot of you in absolutely atrocious shape but if you really want then that can be mended with patience. Let's do some stretching to get the blood flowing and to be ready for the next step."

It's hard to explain but it feels amazing when I can correct the soldier and the military cadet about something and help them in some little way. I was expecting them to be a problem but their discipline is admirable and when they are done with their share they even walk around and help others since I can't be everywhere. I've never seen anything like this happen while I was watching different guard groups practice in my free time but I'm not going to stop them, that would be stupid.

"If you twist your leg to the left you can stretch the outer muscles without changing position," I say to the defiant grey earthpony.

"If you twist your neck far enough all of us will be much happier," he strikes back.

I tend to agree but don't have to.

"What's your problem, Rising? He's right," asks the ex-soldier while passing around.

"Shut up. You've never had to kill your teammates when they turned on you while being drained by one of them and-" he stops abruptly.

"Just shut up, I'm doing the damn stretching," Rising Thunder finishes.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to myself, not sure if anypony heard it.

I don't push my luck anymore and just ask the one-eyed pony to take care of Rising whenever I see him making a mistake. After the warm-up we spend some time running around the castle gardens, taking a break whenever somepony is close to passing out. I think I'm doing this completely wrong but nopony seems to complain so I'll just have to wait for Choking to set me straight when she visits.

"Heya, I'm a big, hot liar!" I hear from behind me. That explains the looks of the recruits which I wasn't able to understand. Damn batponies are really sneaky no matter what.

"Hey Cho- Commander! So you made it."

"Yep. And not a moment too soon. Your first session is almost over and these guys aren't spitting out their lungs or trembling in fear of you."

"I... got a good batch?" I turn to the recruits and wave at them furiously. Some of them get the message and slump to the ground pretending to choke and cough.

As the theatrics spread I smile innocently on Choking, sweat forming on my forehead.

"See? Everything's under control."

"Perfect! In that case, who wants to take a swing at your drill sargeant?"

"WHAAAA?" I sqeal and I realize I'm not the only one with my mouth wide open.

"Come on, there's always somepony hating the abuse, it's a tradition! And you don't have to attend the physical training if you succeed."

Heavy Hoof waves at her.

"You sexy beast, great!"

"Eeeh well I just wanted to say none of us really have a problem with sarge right now," he tries to stop her pushing him towards me.

"I do," a chilling voice pierces the air and I have no doubt about who it came from.

If there is something to say about Choking it's that she's not stupid, by any measure. She just doesn't like to think much but she can read the signs around her better than anypony, perhaps thanks to the experience of seducing maybe hundreds of ponies. In short, she notices the fun is over.

"Good. Now since Blaze here taught me most of the stuff I know you'll have to go through me first as a test. I will be unarmed."

Rising Thunder hesitantly stands up and I understand his problem. I had the same difficulty with Valiant so I intend to clear his head.

"She asked for it. You will have no legal problem with striking an officer in this case, Rising. You've got my word."

"Practice spear then," he says with enough authority for one of the recruits close to the practice weapon crate to get up and bring it to him.

Choking assumes a defensive position and...

... gets completely destroyed in just few seconds.

[i]Ho. Ly. Sheet music.[/i]

I can't do much aside from staring. Rising Thunder is fast, strong, evidently experienced and completely ruthless. I rush to Choking to see how bad it is but aside from broken nose, probably chipped ribs and heavy bruises she's fine.

"If THAT useless performance is the best you can teach us then-" he stops when I growl at him.

"And so the animal gets out no matter how hard you try to hide it," he says calmly despite me charging him and prepares to block the incoming blow while tripping me up - long weapons are good for such dirty moves.

Unfortunately for him I'm infinitely better then Choking and I've been practicing regularly last weeks while she was doing her officering so I sidestep his trip attempt and break right through his block.

And the spear. And his nose. Having a naturally armored and heavy leg means I have four hammers at my disposal.

The splatter of blood doesn't stop me though and so does none of the others. I hear bones crack as I pound his body while sitting on him uselessly trying to protect his face with his front legs. Suddenly I can't move and realize the ex-soldier and Heavy Hoof are holding me. The red veil lifts and I can think again.

To everypony's surprise I extend my hoof to Rising cowering on the ground.

"You are the best spear fighter I've ever seen but if you ever say anything bad about Choking I will kill you."

He tries to get up but his broken front legs don't allow him to.

"Get him to the infirmary. The mages there can patch him up in few days. And by the way this was your combat demonstration. If you try hard enough you'll be able to do this with combat horseshoes and if there's a different weapon that catches your eye I'll make sure you get to the best guy who can teach you. Lesson over."

Not my best performance but as a reward I get to rub Choking all over most of the night. Turns out that being able to change how hard my hooves are gives me a great advantage when it comes to massages.

What is it with earthponies and long sticks? Makes them go crazy around me.


	14. Bronze Armor: Information

[Blazing's Entry]

Well I've been kicked out my home and spent few days sleeping on the floor of my office and showering in the castle gym. That's all over though because I now have my own little flat. It's basically just one room with a storage closet and a bathroom much like the one in the castle. I had to go because somepony else took the coal duty and now Choking jumps around him instead of me. I've never realized how lonely it is without her bugging me all the time.

Thankfully, she often comes to join my lessons and it seems that the recruits enjoy her messing with me even if I can feel the lack of respect from most of them thanks to it. I offered Rising Thunder a chance to join the spear expert (after I found out the castle has got one) training but he refused saying he wanted to keep and eye on me. As long as he doesn't cause pointless problems he can do whatever he likes and it's actually good to have somepony around to show the other recruits how far they can go.

The ex-soldier's name is Solid Steel, a definitely fitting one as he is reliable and his skill with his custom made sword is something to admire. Earthponies usually can't use those because of their lack of grabbing ability but he's got one which locks around his leg and let's him use it. Also, he stopped using his glass eye saying that if nopony is bothered about me then he can use his favourite eyepatch. His hiding skill is also admirable despite him being positively massive. Once he hid inside an upturned weapon crate and kept moving behind other ponies. He must be a blast at parties.

Heavy Hoof bothers me though. The other recruits seem to be having a problem with him and I don't understand why. Hard-working and outgoing as he is, he should have no problems fitting in, so could it be jealousy from others? He might think that the bruises are not visible on his white coat but that is by no means true. It must be something in the barracks because even the guys from my group act alien to him from time to time.

[End Entry]

* * *

"We're done for today, guys. Hit the showers or whatever you do," I tell my group when they've finished their final stretching.

They salute and begin shuffling around and talking. I don't mind, it's their free time now.

"You're getting into this, Blaze."

"Mostly thanks to you. If you weren't here almost every day they would have been way less accepting."

"Shush. I'm about as alien to them as you. Remember how you felt when you first saw a batpony?"

She doesn't have to remind me but her message got through. To most of the recruits we are both equally weird. I still mean my thanking her from the bottom of my heart, without her I would have no idea what to do.

"Wanna hit the showers as well?" she offers and no matter how tempting it is I have to refuse as usual.

"Your new office bathroom is too small for two ponies and there's something I want to sort out first."

"Alright, seeya!"

"Have fun, Chokey."

There's something I have serious doubts about showing her for more than one reason and telling her would not be enough. I have to find out something more about my transformation and thanks to listening on my group's conversation during breaks I give them I know who to ask.

"Solid, got a minute?" I interrupt the leaving earthpony.

"Sure thing, sir!" he salutes.

How to begin?

"You... know Rising Thunder, do you?"

"Yeah. He's been guarding cargo transports travelling between griffon border and our mainland for years and we met from time to time."

"So you know about his problem with me."

"Is this bothering you? He's a straight guy and will keep his word about obeying orders."

"No no. I just want to know what exactly is his problem with me, if it isn't too personal."

He thinks about it.

"I'll tell you but you have to promise me you won't tell anypony else. And I'm telling you only because I think he's wrong and you are a good guy."

He's wrong but at the moment I'm so close to a having a clue about myself that even my self-blame for bad weather can't make me admit it.

"You've got my word."

"It's really nothing personal with you. One of his transports was targeted by changelings and since they couldn't take the guards in a fair fight they used magic to control most of them and turn them against each other. It happened close to the fortress I was stationed in meaning the bugs were getting desperate to venture so far outside the forest or badlands. When we got there we found Rising, who managed to kill bugs and ponies indiscriminately to survive for so long that the enemy just took the surviving captives away and left. Don't be too hard on him, sir, a thing like that would scar anypony."

"Bugs?"

"Sorry, sir. Changelings, sir. I didn't mean to offend," he explains nervously, awaiting my reaction.

"What are those?"

"Eh?"

Yea. Time to come clean.

"Let me level with you, Solid. I don't really have a problem with Rising, him helping others with the training taught me more than them. Up until few weeks ago I was just carrying coal around the castle and things would have stayed that way if I didn't have to work real hard to stay alive when targeted by a crazy Royal Guard. Some three months ago I was just a unicorn and by some circumstances I was changed into this. Don't get me wrong though, I wouldn't have survived the two Valiant's attempts on my life if it didn't happen."

I don't understand when he smiles at me.

"I knew a lot of that already, sir. Not the 'changed by magic' part though."

"Huh, how?"

"Your marefriend is a lovable party drunk and a crazy blabbermouth."

"My mare-? Oh, Choking. Take it from me, she's just a friend. Most of the types she hangs out with can't handle her, let's say, unusually direct approach and are scared off. I'm just around to keep her company when she gets tired of one night stands. That's not important though. Can you tell me more about these, changelings was it?"

"As much as I'd like to tell you, there is very little I can say with any kind of certainty. They are just too unknown. From the attack patterns we guess they live somewhere in the Everfree forest and/or the Badlands."

"Attack patterns? Are they hostile?"

"Mostly yes. As far as I know they consider ponies food, raid small outlying villages and take hostages who are never seen again. We can never defend against them in time."

"How come?"

"We call them changelings because they can change their appearance at will and are excellent infiltrators. They usually kidnap one or two villagers, take their memories and replace them. Then they have free access to information needed to take over."

"And they look like me then? I mean how do they really look when they can change appearance so easily?"

"That's the reason we call you-, eh, them bugs. They are smaller than ponies, have blue bug eyes, black chitinous armor covering their entire body and can fly using translucent fly-like wings. At first they don't look like it but they can outdance a pegasus in the air. To make it relate to you, sir, you look just like a unicorn but with their natural armor with pony colors. No offense but it looks weird," he scratches his head and looks at me apologetically.

One thing about what he said caught my attention. Maybe it's the changeling sense or I'm just good at catching these little details.

"You said they are only 'mostly' hostile."

"With all due respect, that is something I don't want to get into. Enough to say that while they all look almost the same there are differences, just like in ponies."

I smile back at him widely.

"I will not ask about the ones who don't bother you and try to live in peace then. Just tell me this - how do they feed without causing damage?"

"Sir?"

"This is important. When I was even newer to this than now I almost killed Chokey by mistake. I felt her life slipping away and I don't want that to happen ever again. I've been able to explore it and control myself since, but if I don't find out more... who knows what could happen?" while I can keep my voice steady, the mist in my eyes can't be stopped.

"And you keep telling yourself she's just a friend," he mumbles loud enough for me to hear it.

Now that is something I, for change, don't want to go into.

"So... anything else?"

"Not really, sir. As I said, they are a big mystery. The hostile ones don't end in a state to talk and the... others keep themselves to themselves and try not to be a bother."

"Well thanks. It kinda helped me get some perspective."

"Don't dig into it too much, sir. It's much more important who you are than what."

Unfortunately that's what I'm afraid. Which one is worse, being useless or being evil?

I let him go, having already wasted enough of his time and notice there is one more pony hanging around trying to look inconspicuous and practicing some of my exercise tips without any real enthusiasm.

"It would be hard to find somepony as dedicated as you, Heavy."

"Hmmm. Thank you, sir."

Wow. He sounds more depressed than me in my normal state.

"Anything bothering you? Perhaps those totally unnoticeable, huge black bruises?"

"I just... had a misunderstanding with some ponies."

"I would assume they ended in the hospital considering your abilities."

"What? No. I wouldn't hurt anypony just for stating the truth."

"And the truth you are talking about would be? And before you begin thinking about some crazy excuse then you should know I just found out I'm a creature who is supposed to eat ponies and that technically I am a bug," I smile at him softly. It is weird finding somepony as ashamed of himself as me without any obvious reason to.

"Well I'm... not as interested in mares as I should be and, well, one evening in the showers it kind of showed. Then they ransacked my things when I was away and found... stuff."

Is 'that' it, really? I try to find the right words.

"Why is being gay bothering you?"

"I'm not normal, mares get away with it thanks to the population disparity but stallions don't have it that easy," he just says flatly, looking at the ground.

"Does that mean you are 'worse' than anypony else? Normal ponies hurt you, laughed at you, I can imagine, and went through your stuff without your consent. Normal is very rarely a compliment."

"You don't understand."

"You have no idea how often I said that to the few ponies who actually tried to. And I was right... they didn't. And I can't understand you right now because I've never been in your position. I mean I'm bi but I was never interesting enough to anypony for it to actually matter. BUT I know somepony who you can talk to."

"Not some Guard psychiatrist, I've had enough of that in the academy."

"Of course not, I'm not a complete idiot. He's the leader of the Nightguard."

"WHAT?!"

"Just come with me and be open as much as possible."

I suppose it dawned on him that there is no way I'm letting this go and he's right. Compared to me he is an excellent pony and I won't let such a minor thing eat him inside.

* * *

"Sharp, got a minute?" I ask when he lets us into his office.

"I'm really suspicious about the timeframe but sure," he nods to Heavy Hoof standing behind me and staring at him. I know the feeling.

"Remember the time you visited me in the dungeon with the princess?"

His look begins darting between me and Heavy.

"Hard to forget," he says, uncertain where this is going.

"I hope you don't. This guy has a similar issue and is having hard time because of it. Can you two talk a bit?"

"Come here, kid. This guy was even more scared than you when he first saw me," he waves at Heavy.

"Good times," I say dreamily and leave the office.

Perhaps my short prayer to both princesses will be heard out and things will get better.


	15. Bronze Armor: Confidence

[Blazing's Entry]

Good news. I think I'm having a positive influence on my group of recruits, or at least one of them. Heavy Hoof came to the next session more bruised and battered than normal but a complaint about him, which came from the infirmary, about four other ponies who won't be moving at least a week, lightened my mood significantly.

The best part was when I saw the looks of the other recruits. They may still have some problems with him but they definitely won't think he's a sissy ever again. That time the bruises were on at least five others from my group and Heavy's proud expression is something to keep me warm at night. One against probably ten and he won, crazy.

I have a personal problem of my own now though. Choking managed to delay my patrol shifts long enough for me to come to terms with teaching the newbies but she can't do it much longer. Pretty soon I'll have to start pounding the flagstones of Canterlot at night on doubles to fill my monthly patrol hours.

[End Entry]

* * *

"That sucks," I complain to the only pony willing to listen.

"I know but I can't do much more about it. If I switch the shifts around more then everypony will accuse me of patronage. I'm sorry but it begins the day after tomorrow," says Choking apologetically and I understand her position completely.

It doesn't make things easier though. As it turns out there is a lot more to guard's life than just doing one specific of his job he's good at. Every single pony has to spend a certain amount of hours patrolling around Canterlot or some high-priority landmark to make the citizens feel safer and to get to know the layout of the city. I REALLY do understand since I got lost pretty bad multiple times after arriving here for the first time but the schedule means I'm not going to be sleeping much until the end of the month.

"Yeah I know. I'm just thinking about how to do it. I mean I have my morning lesson, paperwork, afternoon lesson and then I have to squeeze in twelve hours of patrolling and some sleep."

"I hate to say it but it's your own fault. You've been doing well with the recruits for quite some time and still refused to do the rest."

"I know damn well it's my own freaking fault. I'm not dumb enough to start blaming you, bad fortune or the weather but that just makes it harder, you know?"

"Calm down. I can take over your evening lessons, Luna knows I'm there most of the time and some leadership practice might be useful. You're gonna owe me though."

I don't even try to negotiate anything despite that what she's offering actually changes nothing for her as she's been spending that part of her free time like that anyway.

"Well, thanks," I say really meaning it but it comes out completely wrong.

"Hey-" she begins angrily.

I put my front legs up in defense.

"I mean it. It just has to sink in a bit."

She seems to pipe down a little. Sulking isn't her strong side though and her usual liveliness wins again.

"Well it starts the day after tomorrow so why don't you have some fun first? There's a small party tonight and I'd like to invite you... as a guest this time," she explains when she notices my exploring look and remembers the last time something like this happened.

I know she's a party animal but I'm not and nothing about that really changed in last three months.

"Eeh, no thanks. I'm not really interesting and I'd much rather spend my time sleeping so I don't die of exhaustion when 'it' begins."

"Don't be silly. You are the best hoof-to-hoof fighter in the guard, you have plenty of ponies to talk about and a lot of interesting things happened to you since we first met. Also, you personally met one of the princesses. Not everypony can say that."

"Do I have to remind you she interrogated me because she thought I was a monster and almost a murderer?"

She waves her hoof dismissingly.

"Details details. You don't have to tell an interested listener EVERYTHING, just focus on the important parts."

"That seems pretty important to me."

"Important means 'helpful to continue the conversation' or 'helpful to get into bed together'."

I often DO imagine me and some mare (and recently a stallion from time to time) together in bed but my brain just doesn't cope well with the image and reality working in tandem.

"That doesn't matter anyway because I'm not going."

"Yes you are," she smiles widely.

And with that my resistance ends. It's not that I dislike parties as such but my experience usually doesn't involve me in any way other than a listener. And I like that, I enjoy listening to other ponies' stories but in an environment where everypony is supposed to participate I kind of don't feel right and sooner or later others notice and I'm left sitting in a corner drinking cheap wine.

But that is my problem and not theirs so why not have a bit of fun while it lasts and leave when nopony notices? That would make her happy and wouldn't bother me that much since I don't really know anypony aside from her, Sharp and the friendlier of my recruits.

[i]Nothing to lose, right?[/i]

I wish I believed that's the case.

* * *

I have to show Choking a dictionary some time and tell her that 'small' doesn't mean fifty ponies. Then I have to beat her to death with it.

I suppose there are some good points though. There's an open bar, the entrance fee was pretty meager and the estabilishment called 'Lucky Horseshoe' is, while full of smoking ponies, clean and the fullness just means it's hard to notice me.

"Wha'll it be, monster-thingy?" asks the bartender, an older unicorn whose coat is grey, probably from all the smoke hanging in the air.

"I don't know, have you got wine?"

"We've got e'rything for ya fine ladies here. Wine, vanilla cigs, even a clean toilet downstairs."

He must be joking or do I really look like that?

[i]Maybe. You DO have pretty slim waist despite all the training. Decent rump too.[/i]

Do I have hots for myself or what?

[i]Just saying.[/i]

The bartender brings an unmarked bottle of hopefully wine and a small violet package. I have no interest in talking to him so I just pay for both and look as invisible as possible sitting at one of the corner tables.

The chair is too hard, the music too obnoxious, the table too high and the happy, social conversations around me depressingly too loud. Maybe it's for the best though. If everypony's having fun, they won't bother looking for another source. I look at the package. There used to be a lot of smokers around me in schools but I've never found the smell of used, rolled up socks particularly endearing. I've also never seen a black cigarette (although my experience, as noted before, is somewhat lacking) before opening the package. There is also a pack of matches inside inviting me to go further.

[i]Why not?[/i]

Maybe it's the wine in my gut which seems to be running out dangerously quickly without me remembering drinking it or maybe it's the attempts of some pony at one of the other tables at wooing one of the mares sitting around him with stories of his exploits but my disgust at the package is draining away quite fast. Damn it, mares outnumber stallions in Equestria more than five to one and that guy is the best example of how things are and of what I hate. He's lucky enough to have four of them fighting over him and he's still juggling them JUST FOR FUN.

[i]That bottle of wine disappeared pretty fast.[/i]

Yea, must be a hole in there somewhere. I try to focus on a different conversation and thanks to my unnatural hearing it's possible. It's the same everywhere though, mares trying to win over a stallion just for one evening or for a chance of a lifetime. Black depression winning, I light one of the cigarettes and breathe in the fumes.

It tastes amazing. The vanilla flavor soothes all past wounds, all memories of being laughed at and for a second I feel like a new pony. It all fades though, just like the drink and just like everything used to pass the time and the reality drips in again. Coming here was a mistake but it's a punishment I deserve for forgetting who I am. Sizing up the couples and even harems around the 'perfect' stallions I begin my way to the exit.

"Look where you're going, drunk, or I'll tell your mommy to spank you," says somepony when I step on his hoof and the group of mares around him laugh at his display of dominance.

I was wrong. Coming here was a good idea. There are winners and losers and I forgot who I was. It's something I need to relive from time to time to burn the knowledge in my head.

I'm not a winner.


	16. Bronze Armor: Jealous

[Blazing's Entry]

I'm a smoker now, not a heavy one though. It helped pass time during the crazy night shift period and now I can't imagine not having a vanilla every morning walk to the castle. Since my job is very physical I was worried about side effects but it turns out most guards smoke to a certain extent and the vanilla cigarettes are made more from some scented oils than the tar and linen like normal ones.

My other voice has been bugging me way too much lately about every little thing I'm doing or thinking but I think I might have found a cure for that - a lot of drinking. Now that is something I've always despised in my father or, for that matter, everypony but I'm not acting like an idiot compared to them. Every drunk I've ever seen always made the life of everypony around miserable but not me, mainly because I haven't talked to anypony except the recruits for almost three weeks. First it was the night shifts and then...

I found out that Choking met a stallion at the party and she seemed to be smitten with him. Well, she wouldn't shut up about it one entire lesson until I flew off the handle and sent everypony home. I wish her all the best, I really do, but she didn't have to rub it in my face. Ever since then she's been spending less time at my practice sessions and every time she was there I tried to ignore her and focus on the training.

That was until she brought mister perfect with her. Apparently he's some kind of business guy and she wanted me to help him get in shape. I tried to bury the issue with rules and guard regulations about visits but I think she didn't buy it. She still comes but even less often than before and we don't talk at all.

Celestia forgive me for what I'm thinking about doing.

[End Entry]

* * *

"Another donut, Joe!" I wave at the light brown earthpony working the counter at a coffee shop close to my place.

I've been feeling kind of weak lately so I've been trying to augment my usual lackluster diet with some sugar and I'm hoping it will help. The place I found when I was doing double shifts served me well and I became a regular pretty soon. Joe's very happy about it because despite business going well, at least from what I usually see in the morning, his prospects aren't too great according to him. I believe in him though. No matter how many candy shops open in the vicinity, his skill is unmatched and his customers know it well.

"Here ya go, mister."

This time I'm not rushing for my morning lesson. This time I'm gathering courage to do something I know deep in my bones is a terrible idea, probably the worst one I've ever had and still something inside me NEEDS to do it.

What could she see in a suitpony like him? He's just a guy who robs decent ponies who work with their hooves by overcharging them on some common goods and destroys small businesses around him. I shouldn't know such things but one of the colleges I failed to finish was a business and commerce thing. This means that I know what most successful ponies in this field mean by 'friendly competition which increases quality'. Normal ponies who don't live only by ruining lives of others would call it ruthless destruction of livelihoods. Celestia's rule is benevolent but very often forgets the smallest and the defenseless who can't ask the princess for a chance to carve out a little bit of peace in this world.

I would like to say that I'm driven by some kind of thirst for justice but that's not the case. All I want is for him to leave Choking alone and even justifying that to myself is an impossible task. I may have overreacted a little, that guy is just a hard worker but...

Screw everything, if I want to be selfish just once then let it be now.

The suitpony's shop isn't far and when I'm done eating I rush there so I can get to my morning session without delay. Hopefully just a little talk will be enough. The shop has opened few minutes ago and when my entrance rings a bell over the door I catch him by surprise.

"Hello sir, what can I help you with? Hey... aren't you Darky's sargeant friend?" he asks when he recognizes me.

Good, that'll make things easier.

"Glad you remember me, nice place you've got here. So how's it going with you lovebirds?"

"Eh, I'm not sure I should be telling you. It's kinda early to be announcing anything."

"And let's all hope it stays that way," I say as innocently as possible which proves to be the greatest threat hundred percent of the time.

"What do you mean?" he reaches below the counter, either for a weapon or to activate the silent alarm.

I slam my hoof on his second front leg hovering over the counter and the crunch stops his movements, I now have full control over him as one putting pressure on an almost broken limb would have. My smile at seeing his face get paler and paler widens in response.

"Let's just say she was happy before you came and will be happy even without you around her."

"Who are you to say that?" he spits at me. I refuse to even think about it.

[i]An idiot and it's never been clearer.[/i]

"Well that doesn't matter now, does it? There is still a lot of snow below Canterlot and the city walls get so slippery at night. Nopony would bother thinking twice about an obvious accident if it were to happen."

I can hear the wheels clicking and finally coming to the conclusion that there is enough mares in Equestria not to risk one's life for Choking.

"Alright, I will break up with her tomorrow."

"NOW!" I hiss at him and slam the door when I leave.

He will listen if he knows what's good for him.

[i]What have you done?[/i]

Lalalalalalala, shut up. My way to the training grounds is quick and filled with me adoring all Canterlot landmarks I happen to pass by. At the moment I'd have swallowed a bottle of bleach not to hear my own thoughts.

The day passes and I'm letting the recruits go home a bit earlier as I don't really have any strength left in me. The strange weakness that's been hounding me for days combined with the blame eating me from the inside makes my legs tremble and all I want is to go home and drink myself to oblivion.

There's a pony rapidly getting closer and I realize in the gloom it's Choking. Good, now she'll have a shoulder to cry on while telling me how her coltfriend left her without saying a word.

"Hi!" I smile at her widely.

"YOU UTTER-!" she doesn't even bother finishing before she punches me hard enough to see into Luna's bedroom.

Evidently the guy has been running his mouth too much.

"Why would YOU of all the ponies do that?!" she kicks me from the side and I don't even try to dodge. Everything I was planning for past few days revolved around him being coward enough not to tell her. Then he would be gone and she would be with me again.

"YOU ARE JUST LIKE VALIANT!" she screams among other things which just flow through my empty head and keeps pounding my face to the ground while sitting on me.

That bastard? ME? I was never going to actually do anything to him and if I was then it would be only personal and without some creeps to hold my victim while I deal with him...

"AND YOU COMPARE HIM TO ME?" I yell and throw her down from me.

"Yeah! In the end ya'll are just the sam-" my hoof blazes with green fire and enjoys the hardness and weight of cast iron for a second necessary to hit her and break her jaw.

I stare at her in absolute silence with my mouth agape and eyes unblinking.

It takes her a while to stop squirming and get back up.

"Nof 'vn V-"

"Not ev'n V-"

She runs away sobbing when she realizes she can't speak properly to finish her remark. I understand her though.

[i]Not even Valiant Charge would have done this.[/i]

Why are my eyes failing me? Why can't I breathe properly? Did she hurt me?

[i]No... you hurt her more than she would ever be able to hurt you. And you are crying, you bastard.[/i]

I lay down on the grass to think for the first time today and begin shaking uncontrollably as it all hits me at once. I threatened a Canterlot citizen, I lost my only friend, I'm gonna lose my job and then I'll go to jail. I can't lie my way out of this because Choking will ask Luna for help and this time there will be nopony on my side, not even me. She's probably running to Sharp and Luna right now.

It's over. Nothing matters and at least I won't be alone for long which means all my worries go away for a second required for things to fall in place. I was the problem all the time and I'll be gone soon. And I made Choking cry just like Valiant did. Once again it's not about me meaning I can do one last thing right. I don't expect forgiveness, I just want to know she's happy.

The falling darkness doesn't bother my half-changeling eyes in the slightest and I run breathlessly to Choking's coltfriend's shop.

He jumps when he sees me rush in.

"Hey, hey. I broke up with her just like you said!"

"You don't understand!" I yell at him.

"What? You threatening to kill me?"

"She deserves another chance!"

"No. I can't deal with maniacs like you. I can't fight you and you have privileges over me."

"SHUT UP AND LISTEN! I was wrong, right? You are plenty good for her and she's perfect so don't miss your damn chance at getting a mare who made two royal guards act completely insane!"

"But-"

"The city wall jumping threat still stands, now just for a different choice," I try to smile at him but he's too nervous to take my peace offer instantly.

"Do you really mean it?"

"Yes. I will not bother you anymore and if you want, I will not even talk to her again. You have my word on it."

"Alright I will talk to her right now. You, on the other hoof, I never want to lay eyes on again."

I nod and leave the shop. There's only one thing left to do - get wasted.

After aimlessly roaming the streets of Canterlot unable to think or remember where I am I finally see a bar sign which corresponds to my mood perfectly. I also have no idea that most of my next two years will be time spent here at the...

"Sole Regret," I mumble.


	17. Bronze Armor: Feral

[Blazing's Entry]

I'm writing this into the diary only because I don't care anymore if somepony finds it or not. If there's even a bit of justice in this world I won't be here for long but I can't end it myself... believe me, I tried.

The hunger I've been feeling for so long finally became unbearable but as much as I knew it was a part of my changeling transformation I had no idea how to sate it. I haven't seen Choking since the... incident and even then I don't remember her having the sun around her for me to feel. Well, I decided to ignore the pain and just eat more food which usually at least helped temporarily but eventually that stopped working as well.

I remember lying in my apartment where I crashed on the bed immediately after coming from my evening session and fell asleep or something like that. It's difficult to describe as the next thing I remember is prowling the Canterlot streets at night looking for a suitable victim. I was able to control myself only for so long and unfortunately when it became too much the first encounter was with a mare being followed by a small filly.

I really, REALLY hope the kid will be all right after me throwing her halfway through the street. I hope somepony found her soon after. The mare though... I don't know what happened. I bit her just like I did when I went berserk while fighting Valiant Charge but I didn't tear out her flesh. I just bit her and felt the familiar sun appear and she began acting all friendly and such. It freaked me out but the shock didn't last long and something I consider an instinct took over, draining her until she was just shaking on the ground and trying to raise her front legs to touch me.

I banged on few of the closest doors and ran away as fast as possible.

Now comes the bad part. Despite everything, I wasn't going to visit Sole Regret because I was afraid I might end up hurting more patrons or even Singer, the bartender, so my legs took me home. I tried to do the right thing for once and grabbed my shaving knife to end it all. For the first time in my life I had strength and determination to do it but when I slit my throat the damn green fire just burned the wound and it closed instantly, leaving me almost as tired as before. I don't want to attack anypony anymore but I have no choice - if I hide away then I'll eventually go crazy and attack somepony again.

That means I have to find a way to either isolate myself completely or to feed without it being fatal. I'm just too tired. All I've ever wanted was a low-responsibility, dead-end job and a place to hide from the world where I could rot.

Evidently trash like me doesn't deserve even that.

[End Entry]

[hr]

I've always known that I'll have hard time putting food on the table but this really is an unexpected development. My problem lies in two things - first, to get somepony to release their energy I need to physically bite them and wait for it to work, and second is that I have to do it at night, somewhere isolated, and hope the victim doesn't remember.

Despite being a part changeling I have no way to change my appearance. I've been experimenting a lot and exploring my body which, despite sounding dirty, is not much fun but at least I wasn't too bored at home and I've come to some conclusions. One - I'm really bad at anatomy. Two - When I knocked out one of my fangs and compared it to the drawings in a book about snakes in the castle library I found out it isn't hollow which means the venom isn't held separately in some sack. That means changeling saliva is partially a venom and a hallucinogenic substance which doesn't work on oneself. Three - I bleed green goo.

I was able to control myself during the second attack, the one after trying to end it all, and after I stopped panicking I stayed on the spot with the victim to find out a bit more. The bitten ponies become extremely suggestible after just few seconds if I manage to bite their neck. Considering the blood flow I imagine it will work even if I bite them in the rump but that's out of question unless they keep running away really fast and I can't catch up. Not only they become suggestible but extremely affectionate and eventually the surge of energy I always percieved as red sun begins to appear and becomes 'edible'. My guess is that I can feed on desire, lust, friendship and love. The first two were obvious when my second victim tried to kiss me multiple times and began furiously humping my leg. The third one I assume from the times I used to be able to feed from Choking and the last one is just a guess but when the mare called me some name I don't remember it dawned on me as a possibility.

Also, pegasi can do some real nifty things with their wings. Too bad my chances of landing a partner for real are below zero.

Ehm, the final thing came up when her advances became a bit too personal, not unwelcome but definitely new to me, and she focused her attention on my nether regions. That was when I ran as fast as my five legs could but apparently the changeling venom also causes the victim to ignore its limits and follow its desire with impossible strength and speed.

Thus we ended at my place where I, erm, got... raped? I mean I wasn't going to do anything sexual to her at first but whoever she was, her drive was too much for me and I wasn't going to harm her physically so I let myself get ravaged. Wasn't that one of my fantasies anyway? The one where I can't make the first move so she takes charge, hard. There and then I found a change which eluded me for I don't know how long - my junk looks different. Well I would have noticed eventually but unicorns don't really have to use hooves to relieve themselves thanks to magic and I had a lot on my mind anyway past months so any 'stress relief' done in that matter was forgotten instantly. I did some exploring after she left with me trying to get a 'you don't remember any of this' suggestion into her head. I still have no idea whether it worked but she seemed happy enough. Maybe all of it wasn't the venom and she was unsatisfied at home? To be fair my complete lack of skill didn't even matter with the way she was acting and her venom-fueled, often replenished just by kissing, stamina and my feeding off her keeping me going ended up causing a pleasant night. Also, I not only bleed green goo but apparently more than that. The shower when we tried to get that stuff off her face was a lot of fun though.

So... I don't cause as much pain as I expected if I stay in control. Perhaps I could bite a stallion... just for experimental purposes of course.

Why am I sitting in my apartment drinking without even bothering to go to work, then?

I was on the way when I saw a news headline about Canterlot security.

That itself wouldn't be a problem but it turned out that the writer based his article on a mother being brutally attacked while returning home with her filly from her recital. The only good news was that she's slowly recovering in home care but the mental damage might remain. At that point I just bought the newspaper, a bottle of something called Rotgut and went home.

"knock knock"

"Dun wanna more pamph-, paper!" I raise my voice to be heard through the door.

The bottle is almost empty. I've never been good at drinking strong alcohol and this stuff you could clean windows with.

"Open up, citizen. Royal Guard business!"

Oh crap. So they found their culprit. Well I knew this was going to happen and I'm not going to run, hide or hurt anypony. Time to open the door which takes longer since I'm too drunk to use magic and unlocking the three orbiting locks is difficult.

"Whzzup offisr?" I ask when I finish the puzzle of holding a key, balancing on my hind legs and trying to jam it in the keyhole.

I'm pushed back and fall unceremoniously on my rump where I stay until the pony's done with examining my place. When some of his seventeen legs stop in front of me again I just raise my front hooves to be shackled.

"Got anything to say, criminal?"

"Izz she 'n the kid 'kay?"

"Yes."

"Tha's good," I smile to myself and wish the pony would just shackle me already. Holding my hooves steady is taking its toll.

Finally I get tied up but the pony just pushes me down on my bed and I fall asleep even before she closes the shutters on the window.

I wake up remembering everything and being incredibly surprised at my head not blowing up from hangover. Trying to get up I just crash face-first on the floor.

Right, I'm tied up.

"That took shorter than expected," says the voice and I finally recognize her.

"So they sent you to arrest me?"

"You remember something? Surprising. I was kidding about the official business but when I looked around I put two and two together."

"Fouwr," I immediately try to prove to myself my brain is working.

"Shut up. What should I do with you?"

"Me, prison. You, promotion."

"As if I'd do that, idiot. Sit down and I'll bring you some water. Then you're telling me everything cause I snooped 'round your diary and need a bit of explaining."

Contrary to what she said she doesn't untie my legs even after my story is over. There is something Choking wants to say I feel but she doesn't know how to start.

"So you love me?"

She certainly doesn't like dancing around problems.

"I do, I mean I don't. I don't know, right? Something like having somepony to spend life together is impossible for me so I never bothered thinking about it too much but I just like having you around."

"I broke up with Fairfax."

"What? Why? When?"

"Few days ago. He was getting too pushy and I kinda remembered Valiant and you."

Hearing both of us in one sentence doesn't put me at ease but then she continues.

"And then I remembered how easily he gave me up when you threatened him and something just didn't feel right from the point when he came back to me again. You know that from the guys Valiant scared away you were the only one who bothered defying him? I'm not even talking about putting your life on the line."

"So are we friends again?" I explore the distant possibility.

"Not even close but I'm not going to tell anypony on you."

"Oh," I look down and sigh.

"You know you asked me why I was spending my Heart's Warming with you. I don't have too many friends... I mean real friends who I could rely on. I know pretty well how popular I am around the castle but sometimes I need a bit more and you give me that. Plus I can rely on you doing the right thing... eventually when there is no other option. Like with Valiant, Fairfax and even the attacked mare. Witnesses remember somepony knocking at their door shortly after without anypony in sight."

"I couldn't just let them freeze to death."

"That's what I'm talking about."

"I shouldn't have done it at all. I should have tied myself to one of the pipes in the bathroom and wasted away to nothing."

"Eh... you're too hard on yourself. Look up!" she orders and I blink when the ceiling light blinds me a bit.

"I-"

"You know... you have really pretty eyes. They are more blue than grey in the light."

I have no time to react when she kisses me.

"Wait! The venom," I push her away when I gather my senses.

She licks her lips and thinks for a second.

"Hmm, I do feel a bit weird. Not bad though. I trust you enough so why don't we spend the night here?"

I have no clue about the time but I must have slept through most of the day.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"You overthink things too much," she kisses me again and suddenly things are as close to before as they can be.

I give up.

"You're terrible at this," she breathes out when our kiss breaks.

"Not... much... experience," I start breathing again and recieve a short flashback.

"Then let's correct that."

A 'practice' kissing session with my best friend who is drugged. I remind myself not to plan anything ever again, stuff just never works out like it would on paper. Perhaps I should stop seeing the worst in everything.


	18. Bronze Armor: C Day

[Blazing's Entry]

It's been almost half a year since my last entry mostly because not much happened. Between my increasingly capable recruits, patrol duty and evenings drinking at Sole Regret there isn't too much free time. Don't take it the wrong way, I still drink a lot but the ambience at the bar is just somehow fitting and most of the time I just get a glass of wine which Singer orders especially for me, light a vanilla and read some book from the castle library.

Choking's been coming to my sessions regularly now and it seems the rift between us is mended. It somewhat bothers me though that in terms of relationships the recruits think we're a couple. I know that her visiting my office to cuddle when she's sad, tired or even plain bored could hint at that but very little has changed in terms of her one night stands with other ponies.

Things aren't as good as they seem though. I've been getting strange vibes from other guards recently, it feels familiar but I can't really place it. Asking the ones who feel normal proved pointless and the only thing I found out was that according to Sharp Biscuit there was a lot of guards who had a sudden vacation recently.

Also, there's a wedding being planned. The leader of Royal Guard, who I've never met, and a princess are getting married. Not one of the sisters but a different one. I asked Sharp about his Royal Guard colleague but aside from telling me the name Shining Armor he couldn't be of much help since the ties between Nightguard and Royal Guard are not as tight as I thought.

It doesn't really concern me but the Elements of Harmony are invited to the wedding for some reason, maybe it's for the security? An alicorn and a such high-ranked civil servant wedding must be pretty important.

[End Entry]

* * *

I'm sitting in my office filling in the blanks in recruit evaluation reports and feeling pretty smug despite everything going on around me. I suppose sometimes one must take pride in his work when the results prove indisputable. The inter-group practice week when the recruits spent a week in some mountain camp practicing against others from different military installations was a success, or at least that's what the reports in front of me indicate. I haven't doubted Solid Steel or Rising Thunder thanks to their immense experience and skill but the success of Heavy Hoof finishing second after Rising surprised me. Well, now it's official and Canterlot has got the best guards in Equestria.

I scribble a note to schedule a one-on-one session with Heavy to taste his progress for myself. Royal recruit regulations forbid the drill sargeants to practice with recruits personally during standard lessons so we have to just watch, give advice and let them grow by fighting one another. What we do in our free time however is our own business.

A headache assaults me and I wonder whether I've been bothering with the reports for too long. The clock disagrees with me though and I just have a drink... of water! It doesn't go away and when I slump back to my chair it feels more like a distant buzzing than a normal headache which I usually experience via hangover delivery.

[i]Something's wrong.[/i]

Well I haven't heard you in a while.

[i]Last time I tried to tell you something you weren't listening, you piece of shit.[/i]

That's way too much aggression considering I managed to right most of the wrongs I caused.

[i]You were lucky. You got a job cause some mare took pity on you. Valiant is out because you turned into a changeling somehow, there was very little of your involvement. Your group of recruits is doing well because you got lucky again and got two experienced soldiers to show the others the ropes. Even then you wouldn't have made it without Choking covering your ass.[/i]

Hey! I got through that and made it through the nights successfully.

[i]And then you almost killed a mother and her filly, broke Choking's bones and threatened to murder her coltfriend. AND you got lucky because for some reason she didn't want to shove your sorry face in front of Luna and let her fry you alive.[/i]

That is something I can't dispute. Alright then, I'm unconsciously angry at myself so what else is new in the wide world of Equestria?

[i]She's back![/i]

Crap. I'm right.

Now I know what I am though and I know about changeling hostility towards ponies which means I have no reason to let this slide. The white lady's desire to know about me was a ruse to find out something about castle security which hasn't changed since. I can feel her and as things fall in place I realize what was the sensation from the guards.

[i]They kidnapped the real guards and replaced them thanks to you.[/i]

Buck me. But there is still time, I have to tell princess Luna.

[i]Too late.[/i]

The door to my office open and a royal guard pony enters, her disguise doesn't fool me this time though. I get ready to fight.

"That's interesting. Not even my subjects can sense me if I don't want them to," she purrs amusedly.

"Who are you?"

"Who do you want me to be, my little experiment?"

"I want to know how you really look," I say and focus on staying aware of myself, remembering the last time her eyes completely broke me.

"Then gaze upon your true queen, pet," she exclaims and a familiar burst of green fire burns away her pegasus form and leaves...

It's not only my changeling side which finds her beautiful. She is as tall as princess Celestia but completely black and covered in glistening plates made of the same stuff as mine. There are differences though. Her horn is jagged and twisted and on her back there's a pair of translucent wings mirrored by a turquoise decorative plating covering her belly. On second look it doesn't look as much decorative like effective. Her tail and mane match the color and a small crown ornament on her head proves her status. The queen is a being born to kill which is apparent just from two glances.

"Wow."

The dumbest think I could have possibly said comes out.

"A fitting greeting but there is something still missing from you," she comments and her horn bursts with green light.

I don't want to give her the satisfaction of me screaming so I just gasp and groan when the sensation of something tearing through my belly removes all control over my limbs. It's over soon though.

[i]Well that's REALLY fitting. Bwahahahahahahaha![/i]

The pain fades almost instantly and I feel fine again, a bit heavier though. The queen conjures a reflective surface with her horn and I see I now have a similar additional plating around my belly... unfortunately I don't look in any way as menacing as her. Mine formed in a red corset shape causing my rump to stand out against my slimmer frame. I sigh, completely forgetting the presence in front of me.

The loss of concentration makes me look at the queen without thinking and her green eyes remove the possibility of any more thought in an instant.

"Perfect. Now let's go, we have important things to accomplish."

My mind comes back when she returns to her pegasus shape but I know I can't go against her will again so I try to retain what little control I still have so I'm more than just a passive observer in a puppet body but it's so-so.

"Where are we going?"

"To visit the future groom and wish him all the best. You're here just in case he resists too much. My other subjects informed me that you are very skilled in terms of combat and Shining Armor is a first-class fighter as well and he can use magic. Together we will take him out. I need him alive."

I don't ask anything more not to raise suspicions and gather all my strength to resist her when the time comes. Soon we come to a door I recognize as one of the guest rooms and the queen knocks.

"When they open, you take out the alicorn and I'll deal with Shining."

The door opens and a pink alicorn, smaller than Luna, doesn't even manage to shout before I punch her chest and knock the breath out of her. She has no value for the queen but whatever little control I have stops me from killing her. My instant kick to the side is supposed to connect with Shining Armor but stops abruptly mid-air and I feel the impact shake my entire body.

It turns out that the queen's magic assault on the guard captain failed miserably when he conjured a barrier protecting him and charged her hard enough to slam her into the wall.

"Stop him!" she hisses and I shatter Shining's barrier with a devastating blow. The problem is that without his protective shield he can move freely and the instant the pink shield disappears he dodges the blow. It's apparent he is way faster than me.

I have way more experience though in fighting unarmed and am able to bait him into overcomitting to an attack which leaves him open. Or so I believe until the time when my hoof hits another pink shield around his body. Our scrap gives the queen a moment to recover though and that is all she needs. A green burst of magic hits Shining Armor, who is focused at me, and strips his barrier away.

"He won't be able to use it again soon, immobilize him!" orders the queen and I take a crushing blow from Shining directly to my side flinging me away. I'm surprised at how easily my new armor took and softened the blow. It didn't really hurt but the force was still there and despite queen's control over me I want to match my skill against his without the pesky magic.

What speaks volumes about him is that he's here, in a small room, fighting one on two against an expert on hoof-to-hoof combat and an immensely powerful mage and is still holding on. The fact that we want him alive is the only reason that's the case but I still respect him at this point. We can't hang around too long though not to raise suspicion and while using my queen as a bait is something I have serious issues with it works and I tackle Shining and make my armor as heavy as possible to immobilize him. His struggle is pointless and when the queen looks into his eyes I let him go recognizing the change in behaviour.

She doesn't even need to bite him to make him her slave and her magic shows again when she teleports the unconscious pink alicorn away.

"You've done well, my pet. Now it's time for your final service," she smiles and I drop to the ground while I feel my strength slipping away, devoured by her.

And if nopony stops her then this will happen to everypony in Canterlot.


	19. Bronze Armor: D Day

[Choking's Entry]

Writing is harder than I thought. I mean I know I wanted to start my own diary when Blaze showed me his but I kinda forgot it and had no problem with it. They can be useful though, much like when I read his again after his freakout and a drinking binge. So... what now?

Right. Sorry, Blaze, for writing into your thing but you didn't seem to mind last time and you're not in your office right now and the thing is still here. You never leave it out (and I can see why!) and you're not practicing with the guys either so something must have happened. I'm gonna go check your apartment now.

If you're in trouble again and you didn't tell me I'll tell Luna and show her this. I mean it this time!

Oh... the important stuff. The Elements of Harmony are here for the wedding and I can't attend cause Nightguards aren't really invited but at least I'll get to the afterparty and maybe even get to check out the groom. I'd like to sneak to the chapel but the security around the ceremony is insane and some of my friends in the Royal Guard told me that something else is worrying them.

Gotta be off now. I'll keep this on me so you don't get into more trouble.

[End Entry]

* * *

The wedding day is here and all I want is somepony to talk to since all the paperwork needed to make the guard shifts work around it is insane. But the dummy disappeared without a trace few days ago and all I found in his office was some crunchy stuff from his, eh skin? His apartment was completely empty and I don't want to go into detail how I got inside. Let's just say I'm pretty good with my hooves. At least that's what all my bedmates say.

I grin to the emptiness of my office but it quickly fades away.

"Aaaargh, I can't think!"

Blazing's disappearance just keeps gnawing at my thoughts because there's being unlucky and there's his uncanny talent for getting into trouble. I've attended Blazing's sessions enough to keep the recruits occupied and I have enough free slots this month to delay his patrols but it just feels like closing my eyes when the problem is right in front of me.

"Soooo what could the problem be? Drinking? Nah, he's in the norm. Smoking? Nonsense. The stuff he's into is less dangerous than filly scissors. The bar he's going into is plainly weird but it's one of the most peaceful joints I've ever seen. Money? Pfff, hardly. He'd go to work then. It must be something really stupid or something really... big."

My mumbling stops and so does the pacing in circles around my office. The last time something really big happened was when he had trouble with his changeling thing, could it be it? That also doesn't sound right because if somepony can go for half a year without going crazy about it then they probably can do it forever.

But it's still him... I hate to say it but he's not the most stable of stallions. Perhaps it's some sort of rare magical disease which doesn't allow him to get his cutie mark and it got to him. Or somepony might have laughed at him about it and he's hiding away somewhere.

... or humans could have got to him in their flying teacups and are now probing him with their 'hands'.

Bleh, I'm no closer than before after making a small groove in the carpet.

"Screw the paperwork. Gotta get my blood flowing so I can think properly."

I know the ruling class frowns on it but I open a window and fly down to the training grounds to join Blazing's recruits. Hoping to see him around I stretch my wings and fly around the castle a bit before the session is about to start.

I also hate that bucking shield, it hurts my eyes and the entire city looks trapped inside a chewing gum bubble. I suppose it's necessary even though not even my granddad can remember any hostiles invading this place.

I pass a blue pegasus in the air and I change direction to follow the unknown intruder. At this time there are only guards supposed to be here. But it turns out it's Rainbow Dash, one of the Elements, and she's not mad at me for stopping her mid-air but kind of impressed I was able to catch up with her. If she had to fly around in heavy armor during whatever weather the pegasi make every day she would have not been surprised. She's super slim and definitely good-looking in her own way but without at least rumors passing around about her being open to mare-on-mare relationship I'm not going to make a move. She also looks too young to be experienced well enough to make a shared evening interesting.

I slap myself to get a grip on reality. There are important things to take care of so I just wave her off, land on the grass and wait until the recruits come. Thank Luna it's such a beautiful day. Most batponies don't go out during the day but I try to keep my schedule fifty-fifty to see the best of both worlds and most batponies are too serious all the time. I guess it makes sense. Luna returned to Equestria some two years ago and while there were batponies serving in the guard at the time they were not really liked. And just like that they were all taught to obey, be respectful and hard-working to fit in and not get persecuted.

"Stupid Blaze. Doesn't think I know how it feels to be an outsider."

"What, ma'am?"

I open my eyes and realize I drifted off a bit again. The recruits are already here and milling around. In the distance, the castle bells announce that the wedding ceremony is beginning.

"Nothing. Let's have a shorter warm-up today, you are fit enough to do fine at your finals so let's have a lesson focused on what the real task is, which means combat. Got any weapons around?"

They all look at the crate full of practice weaponry. The exam doesn't allow those though.

"Solid Steel, you and two others go and fetch a crate of real weapons with enough for all of us. Your final combat exam requires you to use those and you could use the hooves-on experience. Nopony actually tells you that but the point of the finals isn't to measure your skill but to see whether or not you leave a brown streak when you find out you have to use steel against steel, no pun intended."

The ex-soldier picks two other recruits and without any complaints they all leave to do their task.

"Any news on the sargeant?" asks Heavy Hoof, one of the more talkative newbies. I'm not sure why but he seems to like Blaze a lot so I hate to keep telling him all the time.

"Nothing. I'm sure he's fine though. Not even a mountain falling on him would stop him from eventually coming back here," I lie, believing it today even less than before.

He turns away and begins doing his exercises inspiring some of the others to do the same. Damn, once that guy gets out of basic training I'll be on him like a bee on honey.

"Alright, do some pushups, wingups and whatever stretching you think will be useful and then we'll see who's got the balls and who doesn't. That goes for you as well, Lily!" I wave at a pegasus mare who bit another pony once so hard his horseshoes came off.

I gotta admit that despite coming here often enough myself I had no idea they would be this disciplined and determined to succeed. The other drill sargeants stick to the standard rulebook of shouting and putting the recruits down to make them eager to prove themselves and I was afraid Blazing's soft approach would make them weak physically and mentally but that was before the mountain bootcamp.

He did an excellent job.

I laugh at the desperate dodge of one of the ponies and then Tartarus itself breaks loose.

First thing that happens is the shield I tried so hard to ignore breaks with a deafening boom and a shockwave that hurls all of us to the ground. Next thing I notice is the advance of black, flying creatures towards the city with them splitting into groups and aiming for the population centres and security bases which means the guardhouses in town and... us.

"It's the bucking bugs! I knew I shouldn't have trusted that bronze swine," yells Rising Thunder and grabs a sharp looking polearm with practiced ease.

"Calm down, Rising. There's no proof he had something to do with this. EVERYPONY GRAB YOUR PREFERRED WEAPON AND SPLIT INTO THREE GROUPS. THEN WE ALL RUN TOWARDS THE CASTLE WALL SO THEY CAN'T SURROUND US. ANYPONY WITH HEALING MAGIC HIDE BEHIND US," commands Solid.

I don't even think about contradicting a guy who actually knows something about military tactics and feel a pang of pride when none of the recruits panic and follow the given orders.

"Yea? He suddenly disappears and now there's a huge bucking army on our backs. Nopony is coming to help from the garrison and the shield supposed to protect us is useless. How do we even know he isn't the one leading the charge?"

"THAT's NOT IMPORTANT NOW! We have to protect the recruits and retreat inside," I yell at Rising. It really does look bad for Blaze but I refuse to believe it. If there is somepony who wouldn't willingly hurt anypony else then it's him. And if not, then he's lost everything that made him, well... him and is now just a monster.

"You shut up and listen when adults speak. We can't retreat because they are faster and if we drop formation then they will just overwhelm us and since nopony is coming from the castle we don't even know if it's safe," explains Solid Steel while running.

I don't have the time to doubt his decision and we stop when we reach the closest point of castle walls.

"Heavy Hoof, take the left wing! Choking, take the pegasi and cover us from above! Rising, take a group on the right side and I'll handle the main wave," commands Solid again.

"You wish! I'm taking the front and you're not gonna stop me. This is the day they pay for all they've done," contradicts him Rising and pushes through the front group to the front line.

It's soon apparent that Solid's decision about not running was the correct one. The other groups that tried to get to the castle gate got taken from behind and only some of the ponies managed to get to us and strengthen our ranks.

Still... we are ready and we know we have nowhere to run but the courage and despair of about fifty ponies can't hold against thousands of attackers.

"Don't think about them when you see them up close! They are just animals! They have no strategy! They will try not to kill which isn't a good thing! You MUST kill every single one of them otherwise they will take away your families, your friends and drain them until they can't even recognize who or what they are. That's their nature!" shouts Rising Thunder.

Then the wave of attackers hits us and breaks. Again and again we hold them off without losing anypony thanks to healing spells and us not having a problem with killing them. The sheer amount of them is just too great to handle and we begin to get tired without even making a dent in the invading force.

Suddenly their buzzing gets louder and the ranks attacking from Solid's side break and panic as if being attacked from behind. Then one of them charges right through the group of ponies and ends in the back with the healers. His armor isn't black though and he's too big to really be one of them.

"Blaze?" I can't believe my eyes but still rush to stop the ponies from clobbering the invader.

"Can't talk now, too tired. Got two swords?" he asks, sweating and trying to catch his breath.

I point to the weapon crate we managed to carry with us.

"Good. Now do what you were doing and don't bother me."

I'm in an obedient mood today and too happy to argue so I just fly back up and try to protect us from the aerial assault. The last thing I hear from him is his mumbling:

"I really need you to work with me for now."

I don't have the time to find out who he's talking to but the wave of attackers stops completely and when one of the changelings explodes in front of me I back off having no idea what's going on. Curious, I glance at Blazing and see his horn glow faint, orange light. The same light as the two sparks which fly between the changelings and cause them to drop to the ground. Blaze himself is just sitting there and concentrating. It's the two swords he asked for flying through the air.

The changelings have no idea what's going on and back off to regroup from constantly running and flying into what seems to be a sharp blender. Blaze's magic gives us time to take a breath but the seconds we have are by far not enough and the changelings charge again.

We can't win. Even with our wounds rapidly closing mid-combat the fatigue is slowly breaking us and the healers are dropping one by one. When it all becomes too much even for me and one of the creatures takes me to the ground I'm just content with biting through its neck armor and tearing it to bits. I can't get up anymore though and my thoughts slide to Blaze who is bleeding from his nose, ears and dripping bloody tears from his closed eyes. The swords don't relent in destroying the enemy though.

I can't get up anymore. The sun hasn't moved much since the attack so despite it feeling like an eternity we can't have been here more than an hour. I grin at the sight of changeling corpses which other changelings drag away to get to us.

We can't win though... they don't care about how many of them die. Then an another bubblegum looking barrier passes through us and everything is over as soon as it started. Almost everything.

"MY ASS IS ON FIRE! MY ASS IS ON FIRE!" I hear Blaze's voice and roll around to look at him. The wave made me feel a lot better and I can even stand up when I try hard enough.

Blaze really is on fire though. The wave, instead of passing through him like it did with us, rammed him to the ground and really set him on fire so I run to douse him and some of the others join me.

"Shut up, you idiot. You're fine... oh?" I yell at him when he doesn't stop despite looking okay and when I look at his rump I see a cutie mark which wasn't there before.

Two black and white rings interlocked together. He is a bipolar, bi-species, bi-I'mrunningouttawords-g idiot and now he's got it official.

I begin laughing crazily and slowly everypony else joins, happy just to be alive.


	20. Bronze Armor: Peace

[Choking's Entry]

Blaze can't write anything right now because the doctors say that every bone in his body took too much pounding from the magical wave which blew away the changeling army and that he should be happy to be alive since its effect on him was diminished thanks to his hybrid nature.

Also, writing this in front of him squirming while wrapped in bandages is way more fun than I've imagined.

He told me everything and after thinking about it I told Sharpie who warned me about telling princess Luna. Then he told her himself, scumbag. Thanks to him, Blaze is in the infirmary instead of the dungeon though so I'm not too mad.

The half-mummy next to me is worried, which is his usual state. This time I can understand it though. Some of the changelings survived the wave, much like him, but not a single one survived the citizens scouring Canterlot for stragglers.

All guards have orders to capture any survivors alive but a lot of them want a bit of revenge themselves so the chances are pretty slim. Heavy Hoof took it on himself to guard this room and he's been sleeping here.

He's a dirtbag too. Sharp told me about his orientation when I asked about him.

Well, the entire interrogation worked much like:

"Hey, Sharpie. You've been to the mountain bootcamp. How does Heavy Hoof like his mares?"

"With a huge pair of eggs."

"Huh, is he a cannibal?"

"And a carrot."

"Oh."

I didn't ask anything else.

Blaze says this isn't supposed to be a novel. What does he know? I've read all the other entries.

Also, his new armor looks pretty swanky.

[End Entry]

* * *

"How's it between you and Sharpie, Heavy?" I ask him and draw a card. We've been playing a lot since I like to keep him and Blaze company whenever I'm free.

"Erm... what do you mean, ma'am?"

"If you play innocent again I won't give you a long, rubber gift for Heart's Warming."

He drops his cards along with his jaw and I fold, annoyed. He's REALLY good at this as well. A damn genius when it comes to staff combat, military strategy and evidently any card game he lays his hooves on. I want to straddle somepony like him and ride him hard but as the old saying goes - all the good ones are taken.

"We are... friends, ma'am."

"Blushing! That means bed friends."

He doesn't refute the allegation.

"I'm glad you got over that little problem," says Blaze.

"Thanks, sir."

"And that you landed the best catch in the guard," Blaze continues, much to my shock.

"I think you two may be spending too much time together. Stereo Choking Darkness is just what the Nightguard needs, " Heavy deflects the comment with ease and unusual personal touch.

"I don't know. The best catch here is still me," I remind them.

"Wellll. With all the officering and paperwork you are getting a bit on the pudgier side," says Blaze and Heavy adds:

"And those changelings tired you out pretty quickly."

"Pfff. Gimme the right kind of practice and I'll outlast both of ya."

"Sharp is a great guy but he might not be the best catch," continues Heavy and looks at Blaze.

"Don't even bother. That guy can't take a compliment," I poke the pile of bandages.

"Hmm?" he looks up at us.

"See? Doesn't even notice."

"I'm sorry, I'm just really tired and... hungry."

"Oh right. I baked you something, sir," says Heavy Hoof.

"You? Yourself? Personally?" I ask.

"Err yes? I can cook and I bake stuff from time to time. Is there something wrong?"

"WHY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?" I collapse on Blazing's bed.

"What's wrong?" asks Heavy.

"I think she might be having a breakdown," answers Blaze.

"Damn right I am! Most of the guys I meet have hard time making a toast for breakfast and then there's this awesome looking baker, cook and Celestia-knows-what else and I can't even have a bite of him."

The world is unfair.

"You can have a bite of these cookies, ma'am," he opens a small box as a peace offering.

The sweet scent and even better taste don't help.

"Do you see that squiggly line instead of her mouth, Heavy? That means you aren't helping."

I sniff and go for a one final attempt.

"Aren't you even a little bit interested? Perhaps I could show you some tricks that would turn you straight."

"Sorry, ma'am. It's a certain thing."

"Speaking of disappointment. Does Shining Armor know I'm still alive?" asks Blaze.

"Yes, he does," says a voice from the door.

"Oh fiddlesticks," swears Blaze and I have to agree with him. If it was just the new prince then there would be a chance of a good outcome but it's much worse.

Heavy and I stand up at attention.

"Can you leave us for a second?" asks princess Cadence.

"Is he in trouble?" I ask.

"That depends. Give us some time, please."

We leave Blaze and the princess alone but stand in silence until she comes out and smiles at both of us.

"He's all yours and I'll persuade my husband not to press any charges. Or at least make sure he has other things on his mind," she grins at me and for a second I see a pervy side in her which I wouldn't expect from an alicorn. But why not? They are ponies just like we are... with obvious differences of course.

"Got any tricks that would help me get this guy?" I ask her mare to mare and nudge Heavy, who still can't believe the tone I'm using for talking to royalty.

Her horn glows for a second.

"I'm sorry but even an alicorn of love can't help you there. And by the way, Blazing Light's armor really looks swanky. Perhaps I should try to get Shining into a corset as well," she says thoughtfully and walks away.

"Did she just-?" begins Heavy.

I can feel my grin getting wider and wider.

"Yep. The fresh prince will be really surprised at how many new interests his wife might throw at him. She might even be more experienced than me and-"

"You've been around more than a bottle in a brown bag?" asks Blaze when we come back in.

"Say that again?" I ask and tap on his bandages chest hard enough for him to begin gasping in pain.

"S-sorry, Chokey."

"I graciously forgive you."

See? I'm the best friend he could ever have.


	21. The Worst Two Days Ever: Morning

[Blazing's Entry]

Wow, has it been that long?

Another year passed without nothing out of ordinary happening if you don't count the changeling executions, another alicorn joining the princess ranks and some news of a land inhabited by a completely different kind of ponies suddenly appearing in the northern tundra.

So, nothing big.

Not much has been going on with me as well. After the failed invasion, which I kind of made possible, the Guard mages came up with a spell to identify changelings in disguise and the purge of Canterlot began. That wasn't the real problem though. Thinking about Solid Steel's words I used my ability to feel other changelings, and their victims, to help as well, with an ulterior motive though. Solid said that not all changelings are hostile and some just try to live without having to starve in the forest so whenever I found a changeling whose 'feeding' partner wasn't charmed or poisoned I enlisted the help of Choking and Sharp to persuade princess Luna to lead a small interrogation. I knew princess Celestia was too personally involved in the invasion not to think clearly and Luna's ability to detect lies gave me a little piece of calm I so desperately needed after half of Canterlot began looking at me funny. Of course, the changelings who we found hiding with their partner or with victim somewhere around suffered the same fate as the survivors of princess Cadence's spell.

The good thing about all this is that we were able to get the peaceful changelings to safety, either out of Canterlot or to previously purged zones, after they talked it out with their partners and it became clear they didn't just take somepony's life but created their own. Surprisingly, a lot of the couples already knew. Turns out that the best way to get the highest quality love is to take every breath just for your partner.

The executions were rough though. I know how it feels when the queen is in your head and while I have no doubts that a lot of changelings just wanted to feed without thinking about it but there was also a lot of those who were just drafted into the army without having a choice.

Now for the mundane matters.

I had to try and keep low profile for first few months but the guard status was a big enough shield not to get lynched on the street and all the places I regularly visit didn't have a problem with me. Joe just loves money and getting compliments for his fantastic pastries and Singer takes me as one of his regulars no matter how I look. Also, the bunch of drunks at Sole Regret are apparently mercenaries who have seen too much to stay sober and when I heard their stories about the invasion I really felt sorry for the changelings sent to take this place over. Home, sweet home.

The Royal Guard is in complete disarray. Thanks to the long lasting peace in Equestria, most of the guards never had to do much aside from breaking a bar brawl or walking infinite hours in a circle when patrolling the castle library. In truth, most of them just took the position to have just a little authority and it still pays better than usual hoofwork of loading airships or growing flowers. In short, most of the guards resigned and the entire Royal Guards is impossibly understaffed.

The Nightguard, on the other hoof, is almost intact. Batponies are usually serious and firm so none of them actually resigned. That doesn't mean none of them left though. From what I heard from princess Luna the night patrols took a heavy toll on most Nightguards and some of them went insane, expecting claws and teeth to jump at them behind every corner. It might seem princess Luna doesn't do much but with how terrible the effect of PTSD on all guards were, she has to sort the dreams of thousands of ponies so they don't die on the inside even now, when all fleshwounds are already gone. She's still fighting the invasion even entire year later.

It's not all bad though.

Choking's been promoted again. If this goes on then she'll be Glorious High Command Supreme Warlord Princess of Equestria eventually. Funnily enough, she was the highest ranking guard in the only group of ponies who held their own during the fight which somehow translated into her being the leader and getting credit for the good outcome. We all owe her our lives, hehe.

Sharp Biscuit and Heavy Hoof seem to be in a stable, no pun intended, relationship. I have no idea whether or not it will last but I think they both were happy to find somepony like them and even if they break up it won't break their confidence. Heavy's finished his training and is now a drill sargeant like me but he trains earthponies who have interest in staff combat. Sharp is still Sharp, you can't go much higher than the Nightguard leader unless you slap a horn on him and declare him royalty.

Rising Thunder is a spear trainer, not much surprise there with his amount of skill and absolute lack of interest in rank. He still hates me though and I think it got worse for some reason. Thankfully we don't meet that often. Solid Steel is now in some special unit which is more unknown than Celestia's sex life so I haven't seen him in ages but if there is somepony capable of taking care of himself then it's him.

Not much more to say, really. With changes in command structure and guard rules dealing with how little of us there is my recruit classes changed a lot and since we had a little reminder of how important organized training really I've been reduced to mere sword trainer for unicorns.

Oh, one more thing. Nightmare Night is tonight, too bad I can't change into anything.

[End Entry]

* * *

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"

The most annoying sound known to ponykind rouses me from sleep. That's nothing new though and my body reacts by itself and swings a leg closest to the sound, aiming under the bed.

"Mmmmrfz," I try to unglue my lips after the beeping of the alarm clock stops abruptly.

Another day, another chance to fail miserably. Don't get me wrong, I like my life the way it is but I know well enough that I just got really lucky. In truth, everything on my outside changed a lot since I arrived in Canterlot but the inside is still the same cesspool.

_RISE AND SHINE, BUTTERCUP!_

And now I get blamed in stereo. One wouldn't think that a voice on the inside of one's head could be loud enough to spring a horrible hangover headache but in this case one would be wrong.

"Owwwwwww," I groan and lick my lips. In shock I look at the mattress on my bed to see whether or not it's melting somewhere. Surprisingly, it isn't and, still spitting around from the taste, I realize the smell comes from my mouth.

A bottle of Rotgut, Equestria's finest brainmelter, stands empty next to the bed and causes memories to flood back. That's one thing about guards resigning - we get a going away party every few days and while I usually attend just to be polite, this time I forgot I haven't eaten anything most of the day. Being a changeling hybrid means I have to eat both normal food and energy albeit in varying amounts and Choking's visits to my lessons mean I get enough of the second to often forget about the first. So when I swiped a bottle from the party to drown the voice in my head pestering me about, well, everything I kind of forgot what hard liquor does to an empty stomach.

I look around to assess the situation around me which is always a good idea after blacking out hard. The drafty window letting in light from the outside is still covered by a makeshift drape, which I made from the one of two items which hold sentimental value for me - an old rug with long service of keeping me warm. The wobbly table, which I almost never use besides writing a diary entry, still has one of its legs propped by a book with a partially visible title 'Psychology for dummies: A pony's guide to-'. It's something I bought to help me deal with the exclusion after the invasion but as it is with all cheap self-help books, I got what I paid for.

"Oh crap," I curse to the empty air when I see the problem.

Evidently I was trying to repair a radiator that hasn't been working properly since the time I moved here. The chances of it working at all are less than zero now, considering the pile of parts lying on the floor. That explains the cold at least. Anything else? No, good. Making a mental note, which I forget immediately, I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"You get uglier day after day," I say to the wannabe unicorn in the mirror.

_At least there's something we can agree on._

I haven't changed at all though. Still the same bronze armor, still the embarrassing red corset and still the same colors. If I was a complete changeling then there would be some serious issues getting sorted right now. One can still dream.

_Not when they are as drunk as you._

"Shut up," I agree in my own, special way.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

What now? The rent is paid for this month. Nopony ever visits this place and the mailpony always leaves the stuff downstairs at the entrance where the mailboxes are.

"I really don't need any more Cult of Discord pamphlets," I mumble.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

I roll my eyes. Even the most persistent annoyance will leave eventually when there's no answer. Whoever they are, they succeeded in robbing me of any will to bother with shaving.

"Royal Guard here on official business. Open the door or I will be authorized to use force!"


	22. The Worst Two Days Ever: Breakfast

[Blazing's Entry]

As everypony knows, the best time to write a diary to sort out your thoughts is when the guards are threatening to permanently unlock your door.

So...

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[End Entry]

* * *

"Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!"

Did I do anything at the party? I don't think so because I just remember sitting around a bit and then leaving with a pretty cheap bottle in my bag. Is that it, stealing royal property? Damn, the stupid panic attacks are getting worse every time. Must stop and think clearly for at least a second. Leave through the window? This is a third floor so even if I harden my armor I might not leave unscathed.

"Stupid worries, stupid life!" I mumble to myself.

The table grabs my attention but instead of trying to find a way out I'm trying to find something to blame.

"Stupid book! You didn't even help at all."

"knock knock"

The knocking is quiet this time and almost questioning.

_Just open the damn door. You are an embarrassment to ponykind._

The short walk to the door seems like an eternity with my mind being criss-crossed by doubts and fears like meteors flying through the night sky. I know this is all irrational, I know all that but some habits are just so deep in my bones it's not possible to deal with them easily. Well, it is but I'm out of liquor at the moment.

Not even my natural unicorn telekinesis is working so I try to operate the keys using my hooves under the effects of heavy hangover. The lock eventually clicks.

"Mornin', Blaze!" I get greeted by Choking, who in contrary to her official statement isn't wearing any insignia or armor.

"Uh- I- You-. Don't ever-! What are you-? Owwww," is the only coherent thing that gets out of me when my finally loud voice causes fireworks in my head.

"You drink too much," she says simply.

"And you are too loud, too black and your mane is too red," I whisper a retort with the meaning that some things just are, no matter one's effort.

"Those are my finest points!" she smiles but I'm not in the mood. My inability to deal even with the most basic situation of normal life kind of soured my morning.

"Same goes for me and drinking. What do you want?"

"Got a favor to ask. Can you take over my shift tonight?"

No.

"THAT'S the official business?" I ask and immediately lower my voice when pain follows.

"Technically... yeah?" she asks innocently.

I shake my head.

"I can't, I have other plans for tonight."

She sniffs around me and peeks inside my place.

"I can imagine," she comments on the smell of stale alcohol and other accusing things.

Why doesn't she shut up and ask one of her dozens coltfriends to do her a favor for once instead of using me all the time?

_Because you have no real life and your lost time doesn't matter._

"You know? Why don't you trade somepony else a bit of nighttime fun for it," I ask more aggressively than I want to.

Her surprised look cools me down a bit but not enough to stop me from taking my frustration out on her.

"Somepony is edgy in the morning. I just don't have anypony else to ask, alright?"

I really want to kick myself but my self-control evidently went on a vacation sometime eariler.

"So it finally happened. There's nopony in Canterlot you haven't slept with."

"Well... there's you. I know you're moody but this takes a cake. You could have just said no."

_Exactly. Instead you're still running your mouth and spitting insults._

Shut up. It's an insult only when it isn't true.

"Fine. NO! Go away."

_Go kill yourself._

At the moment it seems more inviting than continuing this conversation and ruining our relationship any more.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease!" she begs with fake tears in her eyes which reach bowling ball proportions. So much for 'you could've just said no'.

_She's giving you a second chance which you don't deserve in the slightest._

SHUT UP! That's it, I'm ordering a lobotomy. How does next week sound? Lovely, thank you, doctor. But the voice is right, the bastard is always right in the end and I have no choice but to listen unless I want the only semblance of mare in my life to slowly get pushed out of it by my nonsense.

_Which would be significantly better for her and everypony else connected to you._

"Fine, I'll do it. When and where?" I accept and now it's her who's nervous which spreads to me very easily.

"Remember you already accepted, 'kay?"

"Yes?" I ask, seeing the approaching 'Panic 2: The Return' on the horizon.

"You're gonna be escorting princess Luna to Ponyville for Nightmare Night. You're leaving when she raises the moon so just be ready at her door when night falls."

Maybe it's time for Panic 3: The Absolute Horror? Yes, it is.

"You're crazy! During every official occasion she's supposed to be escorted by batponies. That's ponies and/or bats, I don't fit either description."

"Too bad, you accepted already."

"But- but-"

"Hmmmm?" she raises an eyebrow.

I've got nothing. Graveyard shift with the princess. At least I won't need Rotgut to sleep tonight, or I might need double. I look around and my eyes wishfully stay on a bottle marked: ' Don't sue us for any health damage. You drink this stuff, our lawyers don't '.

"Nothing. Have fun at the Canterlot Nightmare Night celebration."

"Thanks! I'll buy ya somethin-" her obvious lie gets cut short by me slamming the door.

"Yea. And I'll pretend I believe you just like hundred times before."

With the day ruined so soon after it began I turn to the only clear goal on the horizon, my morning routine. I put my silver armor on and leave the shabby apartment. The morning walk is easily my favorite part of the day because usually there are no unexpected news which would ruin it, with today being unpleasantly unique. Still, with a vanilla cigarette in my mouth and the weak light of morning sun shining in my face I gradually recover my wits and think about tonight.

Firstly, I have to apologize to Choking. While she never actually fulfilled anything she promised to me for my very usual 'help' whenever she wanted to go home early or to go to a concert, I still acted like an idiot.

_No... really?_

Seriously, if you just tried to help instead of constantly bothering me after I do something wrong I might not have to shut you down with drinking every night.

_I seem to remember the good old days when I used to but you ignored me on regular basis and kept doing stupid stuff. So this is what you get now. I will keep you down until you become something useful or break down completely, I don't really care which._

True. So much for morning light easing my depression. The second chance for the day to get better comes soon enough though and Donut Joe's shop, my regular breakfast place, is in view. Even this early it's full of ponies getting some sugar before going to work and I take my place in queue. Somepony nudges me from behind.

"Good morning, sir. I'm surprised to see you here."

Yeah, because I totally don't come here every single morning. The white earthpony with uncharacteristically blue mane greets me respectfully.

"Hi, Heavy. And stop calling me 'sir', we are the same rank now. Also, I completely understand your surprise at seeing me here. It must have been what... a whole day since we met here last time?"

"Rough morning?" he asks, completely untouched by my sarcasm.

I should be happy to have friends who can deal with my mood changing on random basis, correction - I should be happy to have any friends, but if controlling it was easy then there wouldn't be any problems, right?

"Damn you, Heavy. If you keep acting this calm then I'll just feel even more inferior. Still, why would you be surprised to see me here?"

"I thought commander Darkness was going to visit you this morning... oh," he stops when he realizes the possible cause for the stormy mood.

"Yea, she did. She just wanted me to take over her shift so she can go to the celebration tonight."

"She must have forgotten to tell you then. Rising Thunder is off sick so she was supposed to tell you that your groups are merging until further notice."

Crap. That means I have no time for breakfast.

"Note to self - choke that little skank."

"Don't forget to invite me to watch, sir."

"You can bring your own rope and a ballgag. I'm sure you or Sharp can find one somewhere. Gotta run, bye!" I leave the queue and start running to the castle, hungry and angrier than a rabid badger.

I have to run because Rising's lessons begin half an hour earlier than everypony else's to 'build character' in his recruits. Thankfully, a habit from when I was young of waking up way too early to have enough time to do everything in case something horrible happened saves me just like many times before. I mean even if I can't deal with my mental problems there is no reason not to use them to my benefit from time to time.

Running has never been my strength but the stamina I gained through spending time in the castle gym and on patrols pulls me through this and I make it to the practice grounds with enough time to spare to stop my lungs from flying away and make the red dots behind my eyes disappear.

Considering Rising's training methods his earthponies should be terrified of me, right? I mean I did beat him up once in front of his group when he was too hard on a newbie. What can possibly go wrong?


	23. The Worst Two Days Ever: Outburst

[Blazing's Entry]

I've got few minutes to kill before the recruits come and scribbling words helps make the world a more understandable place. Or maybe it just helps drawing a little map of my head good enough to keep me stable or understand what to do next and how to repair the damage I usually do.

How to deal with earthponies? I'm now just a simple sword trainer and they lack the magic necessary to learn unicorn style. Too bad we are so understaffed that we have to limit guard training to fit some rules which haven't been reworked in ages meaning it's swords for unicorns, spears and staves for earthponies and pegasi. If anypony is interested in special weaponry they have to ask personally for help.

Even worse is that it keeps unicorns with great polearm fighting potential stuck in my group until they become real guards and can do whatever they want as long as they are fit enough to pass re-evaluation every six months.

Most pavement pounders don't care though. Clean armor and stern looks are the most important things for apprehending drunks armed with broken bottles evidently.

Damn, panicking all the time is annoying but when I'm calm I get bored really easily. Thankfully, the earthpony recruits are coming.

[End Entry]

* * *

As the group of ponies approaches the part of training grounds meant for my recruits I get up and try to get into the spirit of things. I usually don't adhere to the standard sargeant persona but these guys are practicing under Rising so being a bit hard on them wouldn't hurt, or at least it might make them feel at home. It's time to channel my inner 'loudmouth army sargeant'.

"Sargeant Rising Thunder is out at the moment so I will be dealing with you for now."

_Needs more shouting._

"MAGGOTS!" I add uncertainly but loud enough for even the back line of recruits to hear.

The ponies take that in stride and don't look at all harrassed.

"To start the day in a nice, relaxing way DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY!" I continue.

They don't object nor grunt disapprovingly. Evidently Rising's been driving them way harder before which makes me curious how far they can go compared to my guys.

"WHOEVER FINISHES LAST WILL BE CLEANING LATRINES TONIGHT!"

The recruits finally react by speeding up as much as they can. The changeling invasion screwed the training schedule horribly so these ponies only have about two months of training behind them and probably have no idea that there are no latrines within large radius of Canterlot. The picture of one of them in a rubber outfit holding a toothbrush in his hooves is enough to motivate anypony though.

"Alright. Since you're done it's time to warm up a bit. Twenty laps everypony, have fun!"

Their painful moans finally hint that I'm doing my job properly. One recruit comes closer and his question explains why they aren't doing anything.

"Around the entire training grounds or just our practice area?" he asks and I can almost feel the fear of everypony around. I grin.

"Guess!"

"Are you serious?" slips out of his mouth.

"Hmmm?" I raise an eyebrow. It's a gesture that never ever fails.

"Nothing, sargeant!" salutes the recruit and begins running.

With all of them busy I finally have time to observe the group. Newbies always look similar - full of imagination and vigor, usually as a result of stories about chases in moonlight and protecting the princesses from danger at the risk of their lives. The right hoof of justice in Equestria, unfortunately for them, usually counts walking six hours in a circle around castle library as one of its more interesting duties. There are the two branches of The Guard and then there are the Elements of Harmony and these recruits are too new and still believe they are closer to the second category.

_Hmmm. Perhaps Rising's excessive shouting hasn't melted their brains yet._

I try to find out what my 'better' half, constantly monitoring my surroundings, means and my gaze falls on one female recruit. She's either smarter than the others or just naturally slow but while the others try to finish their assignment as fast as possible she is running at calmer pace. I often give my guys a chance to make their tasks a bit easier if they use their head as something else than a helmet rack. I didn't say this was a race and her noticing gives me time to do my own warm-up and burns enough time for my group to start streaming to their lesson. I wave at one of them when they questioningly stand around watching the earthponies trying not to die from exhaustion.

"Tell the others we have an intergroup training session. Is anypony excused today?" I ask the unicorn when he comes.

"No, sarge."

"At least try to make it seem like I have some authority around here."

"Sorry, sargeant!" says the unicorn with a crisp salute to get into the spirit of things.

I don't really believe in forcing respect but Rising's training methods must have something to teach me because even when the earthponies finished the exercise in the least efficient way possible they still were extremely fast and are beginning to pick themselves up from their half-comatose state already. Perhaps some kind of contest between my group and them could prove interesting.

_That won't work. Physical ability is way too stacked in earthpony favor naturally. Contest of combat skill on the other hoof is the exact opposite._

For once the second me isn't completely correct. At this stage of training even the unicorns are unused to using telekinesis for combat purposes and while it's not as difficult as earthpony staff/spear style the difference should be enough to balance out the earthpony inborn strength and stamina. I drop the 'abusive sargeant' act and talk to my unicorn group.

"Alright guys, fifteen minutes of standard warm-up. I'll have a small surprise for you after that."

Remembering last year's combat bootcamp in the mountains I believe a bit of practice in advance wouldn't be so bad. After my guys, and ladies of course, disperse to stretch and do all the little things I've been teaching them since day one I find the earthpony mare who isn't slumped on the ground trying to keep her lungs on the inside.

"Gather your group, go to the armory and bring practice weapons. Swords and your polearms, enough for everypony."

"Why?"

Any other day I wouldn't have trouble ignoring the obviously intentional lack of 'sargeant' but for some, ehm, totally unknown reason I feel a bit fragile.

"Because I said so, recruit!" I hiss at her.

That is enough for her and I'm grateful because I don't want to shout at her. She rushes away to do what I said.

It doesn't take long. Earthponies, however tired, are used to carrying heavy loads and hauling crates helps them keep warm while the others practice. Minutes quickly tick away and finally all ponies are ready and so are the weapons.

"Now, everypony grab a weapon you are the most familiar with and find a partner from the other group. You will be having a small taste of weapon practice today. I don't know how good you earthponies are but I'll make sure you don't get stomped too hard."

I get exactly the reactions I was aiming for - amused grins from the unicorns and angry scowls from the earthponies. The goal here is to make the earthponies show what is in them and to wipe the smug expressions from faces of the unicorns. If my groups lets their overconfidence control them then the angry earthponies will stomp it despite lacking the experience of their unicorn counterparts.

Unicorns usually fight using their two main resources - might and magic. Controlling weapons using telekinesis and using their agility to avoid blows counts as might. The second element is magic which is bound to their natural ability, if it helps in combat somehow. I remember a stab of pain from fighting soon-to-be prince Shining Armor and regret not being able to use any magic to speak of.

_And I'm what?_

Incredibly annoying. When the changeling invasion drove away most of the skilled guards and my martial arts skills were deemed not useful enough to be taught to fresh recruits I found out that my ability to use two swords simultaneously while keeping track of my surroundings is absolutely unique. Holding more items magically in the air isn't the trick but what I call 'two minds in one body' helps with controlling both blades as if they were alive. Still...

...buck you, me, whatever.

_He he he._

Earthponies, on the other hoof, have no magic just like me and their polearm styles revolve around balancing on hind legs and holding the weapon in their front ones while swinging it and spinning around their body, it looks pretty cool actually if done well. Some earthponies do try to use swords by holding them in their mouths and slicing around which looks stunning up to the point when somepony else hits that weapon really hard and knocks all their teeth out. That of course works only for standard weapons and not custom ones like glove-swords or pegasi wing razors.

I notice the cheeky mare isn't looking for a practice partner.

"Scared of a little unicorn squabble?" I ask her.

"No."

Still no honorific from her.

"Then why aren't you looking for somepony to work with?"

Her look clearly conveys that there is nopony else free but she says:

"I've already found somepony."

My raised eyebrow works wonders again and she continues:

"I want to prove myself against you!"

I just blink. There is no way she could be that stupid. With such little training every unicorn has an advantage over an earthpony and the obvious experience difference can't have escaped her.

"Excuse me?" I just manage to say.

"I want to practice against you. Why would I want to deal with somepony who can't even swing a sword properly?"

The unicorn expressions change from smirks to something way less pleasant. The stab at my group gets to me as well. My head still hurts from the hangover, I didn't have my usual cup of tea and I'm hungry.

And now I have somepony acting as a lightning rod.

"Alright, missy. Grab whatever you want. I will be unarmed to begin with but don't come crying when I take your toy away."

The mare looks scared for a second and I know she finally realized she's overdone it. Too late, girl. Unsubstantiated self-confidence and stupid bravado won't help you here and I'm going to make sure you remember and that your friends remember and remind you as often as possible. I address the assembled pairs.

"I suppose you all also want to prove yourselves. Well then, now is your chance. If you are still standing by the end of this lesson you don't have to come to tomorrow's practice and you don't have to carry the weapon crates back. That goes only for my group, of course. You others just try not to swallow your tongues by mistake when you get hit too hard."

Perfect, they are motivated enough it seems.

_I don't think this is a good idea. You know how nasty can recruits be to one another and she might get into serious trouble._

That's kind of the point.

"WHOEVER MAKES THEIR PARTNER SCREAM THE LOUDEST GETS A PUPPY!"

I turn back to the mare approaching me and holding a practice spear in more experienced fashion then the rest. She must have been training more than the others then but that doesn't matter and it's time for her to learn that actions have consequences... mostly unforseen ones. If I set things up right then she's going to have a serious talk with her mates after practice in some dark corner. The length of such 'talk' will depend on how horribly the earthponies get beaten.

I could spend the entire lesson on improving her technique. I could mold her into a much better fighter than she is. I could also teach her manners in an intelligent way but in the end I decide that pain is the best teacher.

All I want is a breakfast... and somepony to hurt to relieve my frustration from the annoying morning so when the mare sloppily attacks me I kick her, grab her spear and in one swift, fluid motion break it in two pieces by hitting her straight on the nose.

She flies away in a splatter of blood and tries to get back up which in her concussed state fails horribly. Getting up must be impossible thanks to shaky legs, blurry vision and ringing in ears. We all have been there, girl.

I stare at her coldly and the sight of bleeding mare on the ground makes the rage evaporate and leaves only shame. I really shouldn't have unloaded on somepony who couldn't have possibly defended herself. It's not even noon and I've managed to screw up already. The situation is similar everywhere around me and when the massacre is over one of my unicorns comes to me.

"Do we really have a free day tomorrow, sargeant?"

"You wish. Now gather the rest, do some finishing exercises and then the lesson is over. Let the corpses clean up."

The dazed mare comes to mind once again and I address my group:

"And don't let this go to your head or one day you'll end like her."


	24. The Worst Two Days Ever: Punishment

[Blazing's Entry]

You know the feeling when right after you do something you realize how terrible the idea was and now all you are waiting for is finding out how does it come back to bite you?

Yeah... that.

Perhaps the paperwork on my table will let me indulge in the bureaucracy required to keep the world going and forget about the crappy morning. Or I could grab a snack.

That sounds better.

[End Entry]

* * *

Too late for breakfast and too early for lunch, Canterlot castle mess hall is practically deserted aside from it's employees. I wave at the mare at the counter to get her attention. Tea or death!

"Yo!" yells a way too familiar voice from the entrance.

I will snap your neck if you stand between me and my wannabe morning drink.

"Wanna work out before lunch?" asks the voice responsible for my crappy morning.

Choking has no idea what hole she's digging for herself but it's not a terrible suggestion. I delay the food order and just ask for some fruit tea. When the cup finally stands before me I acknowledge Choking's presence for the first time with a small nod.

"Sure. I need to dust off my hoof-to-hoof skills," I agree with her proposal. Unfortunately, she knows my moods better than anypony.

"Eeeeeh, now that I think of it I'm kinda attached to all my teeth. How about lifting some weights and stuff?" she repels the impending doom.

I just grunt non-commitally after losing my potential punching bag.

"I'm really sorry for forgetting to tell you about Rising Thunder. Here, let me pay for your drink," she says and throws the requested amount of bits on the counter.

"Thanks," I say gloomily.

"Wow, you sound more depressed than usual."

I'm not really in the mood for her jabs no matter how innocent they are so I ignore her and huddle around my cup of tea at the nearest table. She joins me.

"Oh c'mon. I said I was sorry," she says.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it," I just wave her off.

"What's bugging you then?"

I sit there in silence and just keep sipping my tea. Sharp told me stories about Choking's recruit days and she might be the right one to confide in but on the other hoof it's none of her business.

"Remember, my door is always open."

"Celestia's mercy," I breathe out and roll my eyes. The dumbest of sayings makes me grin with the passing thought of her bedroom life. Always open, right.

"I lashed out at a recruit," I admit hesitantly.

"So? You are pretty soft compared to other drill sargeants, even Heavy Hoof is harder on his recruits and he often wears rainbow socks at the gym."

The image makes me choke a bit on my drink.

"Ehm. I think she's in the infirmary now and will have hard time later today."

"She? Got any misplaced hostility towards me for this morning?"

"Yes. I have a punching bag in my office and I'm thinking about slapping your photo on it."

"How amusing. Why don't you try your comedy stand-up at the party tonight. Oh wait, you won't be there you mighty protector of the princess."

"Don't even remind me. I just think I overreacted a bit. Well... a lot."

"Beating up a recruit during practice isn't really a crime so why don't you tell me what the real problem is. Getting something out of you is like pulling cat hair offa carpet."

"Well I kind of set it up so her group would be pissed at her. I had Rising's group face my unicorns in combat practice, they got smashed and I made it look as if she provoked it, which she totally did," I try to end my explanation with a small excuse. Unfortunately, this is a personal thing for her and the drop in temperature is almost tangible.

"Are you serious? You do realize fresh recruits do some really dirty things and you fuel it?"

"You are the one to talk."

"That just means I know what I'm talking about. I think I'll visit the recruit barracks later, just in case. Our practice will have to wait."

"Should I come too?" I try to be as helpful as I can.

"Heavens no! I don't want to cause MORE damage," she says completely seriously.

Hearing that from her hurts, a lot. I just watch her leave and sit there. I really should have been more patient but I knew that as soon as my other voice spoke, he is usually right. Perhaps some pills could help ease the mood swings or at least help controlling myself?

At least I'm able to leave the endless circle of blame now but I have no idea how long I've been sitting here. The tea is cold, damn. Working out some sweat, despite doing it alone, seems more and more inviting but the pile of paperwork in my office is reaching Cloudsdale height.

That might not be a bad thing as such.

The pile of letters in my office doesn't need immediate attention but losing myself in ink and paper is also fine. I pull out a bottle from the lowest drawer of my table and take a long swig, effectively shutting down my higher mental capabilities. Thankfully, the paperwork required to do my job could be done by a crowbar lobotomy victim so there is no problem on the horizon.

When I feel the alcohol leaving my bloodstream I realize I missed lunchtime by a decent margin and that all the sounds of hoofsteps usually plaguing the castle halls at that time are already gone. Somehow the paper avalanche on my table is sorted out and I feel insanely hungry. I could go on fine using the energy absorbed by my changeling side but I'm not going to risk being more irritable than earlier. Eating before a workout is a bad idea but a small and sweet honeyed hay bar shouldn't be too big of a problem.

It really hits the spot and my desire to eat somepony's children drops drastically. Pumping some irons is more and more inviting and when I get to the empty gym I just do a short stretching and strap myself to one of the torture machines. Most castle residents are resting after lunch so I have at least an hour of blessed peace. The pain in my muscles is the only indicator of passing time.

"Ow ow ow ow," I breathe out as I pull a muscle. My workout isn't overly hard but designed to evenly test strength and stamina so I don't end up suddenly lacking in one area.

I slow down and massage the pained spots to alleviate the pain when a red and black batpony comes through the gym door and begins slowly running on a treadmill without a word. I'm curious about what she found at the barracks but considering the aura around her I don't think the answer would cheer me up.

"Wanna do the combat practice you promised me?" she asks when she's done running.

Aching from exhaustion I'm not really excited about it but the difference in skill is high enough for me to at least break even so I agree and the face-off begins.

_Oh crap._

I realize my mistake when I catch a glimpse of light reflected from a hoof about to make an impact with my face. She is wearing combat horseshoes - heavy, hard and covered in small knobs to do as much damage as possible without killing. Still, I lean back fast enough to soften the blow as much as possible.

But that's about it. The second hit connects with my stomach and my weak muscles are not enough to protect me so I lean down in a perfect angle for her kick to send me flying. I gather myself from the ground while she's waiting and when I'm halfway up I realize she was baiting me. The onslaught resumes and all I can do is protect myself as much as I can from a much faster enemy. My strength lies in reading my opponent but Choking is too quick to let me react and with combat horseshoes she hits like a hammer. I could use my changeling abilities but that would mean I lost to her in a contest of skill or I could accidentaly cause lasting wounds so risking it seems unwise. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose to her but the only way out is unleashing way more destructive power than an exercise of this scale needs.

_Is that all you've got? Pitiful._

There is more bloodlust in that voice than usual. Perhaps it's not always right and can fall victim to emotions just like me. No excuses though, going down this easily isn't an option. Unfortunately, my body has been beaten down way too hard during last hour so when I try to counterattack I just put myself in position to be totally destroyed when she kicks my hind legs and smashes me on the ground. I don't even try to get up and just stare at the floor.

_Not begging all stars for a second chance this time? I'm surprised._

Every time I fail. Every time I make a mistake, even the simplest one. Every time I see the bottom of a glass and every single time I actually try hard and inevitably freaking fail I hear this voice. I want to drown it in anything strong enough to strip paint but the fact of it being right won't change if I do it.

"Wooo that was nice!" a cheery voice breaks my blame-train. I look up in disbelief and eventually manage to stand with my perseverance rewarded by HORRIBLE PAIN! Well, maybe not as bad but it still hurts like heck.

"Not really," I offer a contradicting opinion, possibly clouded by being on the beaten side.

"Go hit the showers, you big filly. Or should I come with you?" she winks at me playfully. I curse my face going red despite us showering together quite often. Damn we used to have a guy with us and I still feel embarrassed when she jokes like this.

"No thanks, somepony might come," I pull out an excuse in a second.

"Too bad, seeya later!" she says and goes to the mare showers with uncharacteristic tact.

So she just came to bash my skull in. Well I did deserve it.


	25. The Worst Two Days Ever: Break

[Blazing's Entry]

Do NOT mess up even more today!

Do NOT mess up even more today!

Do NOT mess up even more today!

Do not do what?

Mess up any more today, sir!

Good.

[End Entry]

* * *

The relief from pleasure caused by hot water splashing on my back washes away the bad taste of today. It's a little piece of heaven, a moment to enjoy, with nopony and nothing able to ruin it and even time itself gives me a short break and I have enough precious minutes not to have to rush to my office before my evening lesson begins. Unfortunately, I have to leave this paradise eventually and don my increasingly heavy silver armor and head out to the training grounds.

Some of the recruits are already there, standing around and chatting, and I'm glad to see Rising's ponies join in conversation with my unicorns. Perhaps the rivalry didn't continue after this morning? When they see me coming they hastily get in formation. I just wave them away.

"At ease! We still have some five minutes."

I don't need enhanced hybrid senses to know they are looking at my bruised face and dents in my natural plating, only partially covered by Nightguard armor. The earthponies don't mention anything, perhaps out of fear of something like this morning repeating but the unicorns begin spinning theories which I try to overhear after I lay down on the ground and adjust my helmet.

"Perhaps the mare from earlier came back for him and beat him with a chair."

Unless the chair was made of steel and held by a dragon I doubt that would work.

"No no, she's a unicorn in disguise and cursed him. Don't look at me like that, even batponies have a little magic despite not having horns."

That one's news to me. Perhaps I should ask Choking about that.

"Nonsense! Nopony can beat him like that, perhaps he insulted one of the princesses."

I'm not a frog and neither a pile of ashes so that one's also a bit far-fetched.

"Humans! Humans with their big 'hands'!"

That might be too much to swallow even for the less mentally endowed of recruits.

"There is no such thing as a hue man. Lobsters! Giant lobsters!"

I grin but suddenly there's nothing but silence, has my helmet slipped back?

"Sleepin' on the job, eh?"

In silence and comfort I forget for a second where I am.

"Not again, you walking redmane headache."

_Ehm. Ehm._

Crap. My helmet drops on the ground as I try to get up and clutch my chest when the fireworks in my ribs begin. She watches me fight to stay standing and eventually picks up my helmet, puts it on my head and tightens the straps. Then comes the finishing blow.

"Now be a good colt and play with the other kids."

Well, I'm not going down this easy.

"Yes, grandma Choking!" I say and salute to suddenly physically sick Choking. One day I will ask about the name.

Too bad my victory is short-lived as she points to her face visibly enough for the recruits to catch her drift.

"Don't get too full of yourself," I mumble.

She just raises an eyebrow, a gesture she learned from me and which I learned from Sharp Biscuit.

"Nothing, ma'am!" I say and salute.

Then a singsong whisper, one of those whispers that reach even the back lines of everypony, comes from one of the recruits.

"Whiiiiipped!"

"Ten laps around the grounds, smartass!" I yell at the still laughing joker but it's almost drowned in the collective outburst of everypony else.

"WOOOORTH IIIT!" he screams as he begins running.

We begin our exercises. It's pretty obvious Choking's here to make sure nothing like this morning repeats itself. I thank the princesses for that because a short while after we begin the mare responsible for my blowing up comes to view, with crutches and bandages. Is that my fault?

_Of course it is._

I bite my lip as the shame hits again. She really didn't deserve it just for being cheeky and her state excuses all pain Choking inflicted on me at the gym. If that's what my irresponsible behavior lead to then I deserved to have all my bones ground to dust. My batpony friend rushes to her.

"Why are you here? I thought you were supposed to stay in the infirmary for a while."

The mare ignores her and limps directly towards me.

"I'm sorry for my behavior this morning but I still want to prove myself to you," she says with a determined look.

"What happened to you?" I ask despite having a pretty good idea.

"Accident."

"What happened to you?" I growl at her and she takes a step back. A hoof on my back tells me that this line of questioning shouldn't be pursued so I try a different approach.

"You can't do much in that shape," I start over.

"With all due respect, you don't look better, sir."

"Even Celestia would grow old waiting for me to look better but you look as if a cow chewed you up. On top of that I don't think you actually stand a chance against anypony here."

"Let me handle this, your guys are ready to begin," interrupts me Choking.

I leave to give the recruits orders but Choking has no idea how good my hearing is so I take off my helmet and listen to their conversation while doing exercises.

"Unless you want your 'friends' to die in an alley somewhere you won't mention to Blaze what happened behind the barracks. You shouldn't have come and stirred things up," says Choking in a very unusual aggressive tone.

Does even she believe I would do something like that? Do I believe I wouldn't?

"I just didn't want to miss an opportunity to practice with him. He's sort of a legend around here, the top of combat skills in the entire guard."

Great, looks like I've got a fanclub for some reason.

"Legend?"

"He's supposed to have fought off hundreds of changelings during the invasion. He's a hero but my father seems to dislike him and I don't know why."

I'm not a hero. Everypony fought as well as they were able to that day and we would have lost anyway if it weren't for princess Cadence. I wonder how she would react to knowing that my involvement actually made the invasion possible. I wonder how everypony would react because that is still a secret between me, Shining Armor, his wife, Choking, Sharp and Heavy. Now that I think of it, that's almost everypony I know.

"Who's your father?"

"Rising Thunder. He's a trainer here as well. My name is Rolling Thunder."

Mystery of Rising's increased hatred for me is explained. Anypony would be annoyed if they had to listen to some glorified nonsense at home, especially since Rising was there as well.

"Strange name for a girl," comments Choking.

She's the one to talk.

"My father wanted a boy and didn't bother changing the name."

The bitterness which reaches levels of my own can't be missed in Rolling's voice. Guess that her proving herself to me is connected with her trying to prove herself to her father, I can relate. Still, she's years away from failing every single expectation the parents put on their child just like I did.

"Blaze is no hero. It's true that we were one of about three places which held off the invasion long enough but it was thanks to everypony there."

Thanks, I suppose? Who would have thought that listening on other ponies' conversations could mean hearing stuff, boo hoo.

"Including you?" asks Rolling.

Heh. Now it's your turn to answer, big hero Choking Darkness.

"Totally. You should have seen the piles of changeling corpses that had to be dragged away so they could send more at me. Just kidding."

"Then why does my father hate him? Is it because he looks a bit like a changeling?"

A bit? Bigger, recolored, with normal eyes, mane and tail. I'm surprised ponies don't grab their flyswatters when I pass them.

"Are you here to talk or practice?" tries Choking to divert the train of questions.

_Oh come on! Tell her that her idol is the one responsible for all the guard suicides and breakdowns._

"Practice, miss."

"Good. Remember that and go rest," says Choking sharply.

"But-"

"That's an order. I know what shape you were in when I found you and you are lucky to be walking. You also may have noticed that everypony who was there with you is absent. Because it was me who found you first they will come back for you probably and you will have to deal with them yourself."

"But-"

"But nothing! I will not waste Blaze's time with somepony who can't even understand when to shut up and just obey. You can keep practicing in your dad's group or, when you're okay again, you can come to me and I will teach you enough not to make an ass of yourself when you ask Blaze to kick ten kinds of crap outta you," she ends up almost in a hiss.

"Yes, miss Darkness. Thank you."

Rolling Thunder begins limping back to the castle and I shift my focus fully to the recruits. Choking walks up to me when the lesson is over.

"Sorry for earlier."

"I deserved it."

"No, you didn't. I overdid it."

"Yes, I did. That girl looked worse than you after a wild evening. Free plastic surgery was the least I deserved."

"Keep talking like that and you'll get another go."

"Who would take over your shift if you did that? Also, I will tie your legs in a knot next time."

"You got me there. I have a peace offering though. Why don't you sleep a while in my office? I have a soft couch so you don't have to walk home before you start."

"Thanks. That would help but only if you promise not to ravage me while I'm asleep."

"Tempting but I won't be there. The Nightmare Night party starts in an hour so I'll go home and get ready."

"Have fun."

"With a bunch of drunk, sexy and probably rich stallions around me? It's gonna be an all-you-can-eat buffet. I wouldn't miss it for the world and I have you to thank for it."

"Yea yea... shouldn't you be slapping on some makeup or something?"

Choking sticks out her tongue and leaves towards her perfect evening.


	26. The Worst Two Days Ever: Personal

[Blazing's Entry]

Protecting princess Luna on Nightmare Night...

... but what can realistically happen?

She is the best mage in Equestria. She is an alicorn which means she is stronger than normal ponies. She is going to a celebration where the Elements of Harmony will be as well.

So why am I feeling even more anxious than usual?

[End Entry]

* * *

Waking up twice in one day is a strange feeling even in familiar environment. Where am I? How come the wallpaper isn't peeling off and shows signs of... color? These problems deserve the attention of an oracle or my brain working properly might work as well. Alright, just get a feeling of what I'm lying on. It's soft, brown...

"OW!" I groan as I plant my face on the floor.

...and thin. I stare blankly at the brown couch. Everything hurts and the carpet under me feels sooooo soft and inviting. Mmmmm, too lazy to exist.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I wave my hoof down where the alarm clock would be if I was in my bed. In this case I just hit the floor though.

"Die," I threaten the annoying machine. Unfortunately that doesn't make the noise go away.

"Whoa!" I twitch when I shift weight on the more bruised of my legs and the horrible pain wakes me up completely. The rest of my body suddenly thinks it's a good idea to join in and my groans of pain and coughing is something usually heard only in old ponies' home.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

The couch cushion thrown with the speed of an artillery shell is finally enough to stop the beep boop onslaught and I sigh in relief. Memories come back to me.

_How does Choking still keep her job?_

Hmm? I look around her office and both my selves can't believe the situation. I've never been here before because I usually don't bother Choking, she bothers me. After her promotion they gave her a really spacious and well equipped room, then she evidently... personalized it.

Choking loves music, at least that's what I think considering the amount of favors I did for her so she could go to concerts and it shows here. The walls are covered by a second coating of wallpaper reading anything from 'Cannibal Horse', 'Cradle of Hay', 'Screechlex' to 'DJ-PON3'.

"Huh?" I lean towards one of the more explicit posters.

The poster of Vinyl Scratch with spread legs and only headphones covering her bits is not something one could find in a standard office. Usually the only decoration revolves around one of the princesses, speaking of which...

"Uh oh."

I notice two red and blue posters right next to the door. Two princesses look at anypony leaving or entering the office. Princess Celestia with a positively insane expression has OBEY written on her poster while paper Luna's gaze is burning holes in the other poster with BIDE written below. In morbid curiosity I check out Choking's table.

_Hey, an alicorn of spreading love is spreading a bit more here._

A framed picture of princess Cadence makes my blood rapidly relocate south. I lean closer, for science of course! The picture changes and I lean back and forth again, it seems that when somepony looks at the Cadence picture it changes to a second version... naughtier one, if that is even possible. There's no doubt the pony in the second picture is still princess Cadence but her propotions are so hugely overexaggerated it's more humorous than arousing. At least I hope it's an exaggeration otherwise prince Shining must have a really hard job in the bedroom. After a while I stop trying to understand the mechanics of the situation and leave the picture which I internally name 'A porcupine of horsedongs'.

I try to look around and ignore all pictures that would cause more blood to go on a vacation and find a fresh bottle of fruit juice Choking left there for me. The sun is setting so I don't have that much time and I drink it on the way to princess Luna's chambers.

"Blazing Light," says a deep, calm voice from behind me when I stand in front of princess Luna's door.

"Sharp Biscuit," I reply in kind without even turning around.

He snorts at the theatrics and shakes my hoof when I face him.

"How are the newbies?" he asks, smiling.

"Lazy. Sometimes I think we should make them carry coal around the castle. Or make me do it again so I don't have to deal with them. So what's going to happen now?"

He knows I don't mean it, partially.

"Well, there will be four of us. Two will be pulling the royal carriage, I will be outside on watch and you, since you can't fly, will be inside with the princess."

Perhaps she'll try to have a rest instead of engaging in a conversation with her subject.

"Great. What do we have to do anyway? I don't really see anything we could do in case something endangered a demigod like her."

"We are here mostly for things to look official. Princess Luna is well-known in Ponyville and the celebration is just for fun. We will probably just watch the princess enjoy herself and eat whatever candy falls our way. In case anything happens we just have to take the first blow and watch Luna demolish whatever attacked us."

"Sounds pointless."

"Traditional, friend. Traditional."

"By the way, why aren't the princesses going together? I suppose they don't have that much time to have fun as sisters."

"Nightmare Night has always been Luna's celebration and if you want more princesses there will be Twilight Sparkle on site."

"Any expected danger or reinforcements?"

"Calm down, Blazing. We know the area and Ponyville is a small and peaceful village."

I have a bad feeling about this.

We chitchat and wait for the princess to leave her room. Eventually there is a blue pony in silver regalia opening the door and we begin our trip.

It might not seem like it but I have deep respect for princess Luna. Her connection to her subjects is more personal than her sister's and where Celestia's loving and caring, perfect personality gives her an aura of distance, Luna's social awkwardness and flaws make her closer to a normal pony. I used to be terrified of her ability to see inside ponies but I'm a bit more in tune with myself now, despite all evidence to the contrary. I also don't give a flying fork about myself anymore so somepony digging inside me isn't a big deal after being a slave, and a meal, of queen Chrysalis.

We get inside a bat-decorated gloomy carriage fitting this night and it begins moving.

... I hate heights.

"Not the talkative type?" asks princess Luna.

"Sorry, princess. I get nervous when ponies take interest in me, especially royalty. Given my experience."

"We never got a chance to thank you for helping changelings during the purge of Canterlot."

"You had enough to worry about. Sharp told me stories about his friends dropping in the middle of a patrol."

"Speaking of which, you didn't seem to be afflicted by nightmares."

Yeah, because I'm mentally completely fine.

"I don't dream much so the only teeth I see at night are mine in a mirror."

"How come? Some of our ponies could still use tips."

"I-I drink a lot. Especially before I go to bed."

"That's an awful habit. You should get rid of it."

"Yes, I should."

The flatness of my answer doesn't dissuade Luna.

"Is there a reason for your drinking, young colt? Mares, perhaps?"

_Because I'm a terrible mistake that exists only because condoms work only ninety-nine times outta hundred. And that was even before I became a freak of magic, or nature._

Yeah. Attempting to lighten the mood around me is not easy even for a demigoddess.

"Not really. I mean there isn't anypony who loves me but that's okay, I don't want to inflict myself upon anypony anyway."

"We've known you for almost two years. Why do you hate yourself so much?"

Lying to Luna is pointless...

"I left home because I didn't want to bother and hurt my parents anymore as I was just a parasite at that point. Then I came here and the first thing I had to do was to fight for my life and cause more pain to others. Then it showed that I'm a really good fighter so causing pain is the only thing I'm good at. Surprisingly enough, I almost caused Canterlot to be overtaken by changelings. I could go on."

"If we remember correctly you didn't have much choice in that matter most of the time."

"There is always a choice. I just usually took the one which left me alive without regards for anything else."

"We disagree."

"You might. I know my life though."

"Maybe you could-"

The air inside the carriage begins glowing gold and resemble floating sand.

"What's going on?" I ask and tighten my telekinetic grip on both my swords.

"A massive surge of magic is occuring nearby. It's familiar but-"

Something blasts through the door on Luna's side of the carriage and before I can even react it hits me and my stomach tries to leave via my mouth as I begin falling with something, no... somepony on me.

Behind the figure I can see the carriage continuing its path to the lights on the horizon.

Good. The princess is safe and this bastard has no idea who he's messing with.


	27. The Worst Two Days Ever: Close

[Blazing's Entry]

I've never had anything to be proud of aside from my innate talent for physical combat and even that has always been overshadowed by anypony who could use magic to some degree since even conjuring small sparks or colored lights to blind or burn your enemy gives an advantage with which bare hooves can't help. I've always had to be better and stronger to fight bullies at school who picked on me since I wasn't fast enough to run or smart enough to win that way. That all led to one thing though - even in victory I never had anything. The bullies were usually outgoing and well-liked kids and when they got beaten by a younger pony it just left a mark of fear on me especially since I wasn't bothered with leaving lasting marks. One has to do that when victory can't be attained via normal means.

Eventually there was almost nopony who didn't consider me just an antisocial, creepy kid despite me trying hard to help whenever I could and ease every situation with a small joke. So I tried something different - helping without regards for myself, doing even the smallest and most pointless favors for anypony but that ended up even worse and often got me in trouble. And then everypony laughed at me but that was fine since I knew I made them happy in some little way.

That was enough for me but lost me the few friends I still had. Eventually I stopped caring, it was my fault but something I couldn't really do anything about. Despite not being very smart I was always a good student but my lack of motivation and interest won eventually and even that went away as well. My parents always had a lot of work and being a second son of a noble I had access to our wine cellar as long as I kept coasting through life. It would be wrong to think I began drinking after I went feral as a changeling hybrid, I was just taking an extended break from it.

Visit university lectures, play cards with some of the servants, read a bit, waste myself in my room to end the day quickly... for six years. My first university failure was just a dumb luck caused by bureaucratic failure but the second one was all me. At that point I literally had nothing - disowned by my family, rightfully so, and without any real-life skills due to my sheltered life aside from punching others in the face I just wanted to leave everything. My path led to Canterlot.

Why am I writing this now? Luna's question made me think a bit about mares being my problem but I was alone for so long it's something I can't even imagine meaning that's not the problem at all. Right now it's my broken pride.

During the fight with Valiant Charge I realized that I can't live without causing pain to others, the life just doesn't work that way. So I tried to get better at the only thing I'm good at and I was the best in Canterlot. If I had to hurt ponies then the only reason to do that is to protect somepony else with the price being my pain. I was the best... was.

I'm writing this at the lakeside by the light of a small campfire set by a blue unicorn mare after being completely and utterly crushed in terms of skill by an unknown enemy.

[End Entry]

* * *

The figure punches me in the air and a set of talons wraps around my neck. Just for the moment I forget that we are falling and focus only on my assailant. There is nothing visible except for black, tattered clothes covering his entire body and the faint golden glow in the air. I punch back but mid-air my punch is woefully weak.

_He doesn't have wings!_

For now I just have to trust my inner voice. If the enemy doesn't have wings then he's falling as well and hopes to land on me, that goes both ways though. I wrap my forelegs around the talons and spin both of us around, now I'm the one on top meaning my punches are way more effective. In a burst of green I increase the hardness of my armor causing its weight to go up as well. My punches are there just to keep him busy. If this goes on then he will land on the ground first with a small meteor about to hit him.

_He's a unicorn._

I look at my foe's head. Where a unicorn horn would be there is an angular red crystal of similar shape which begins glowing. That explains how he got to the carriage in the first place but unfortunately it means he's pretty good at analyzing the situation and knows he will die if this goes on. I hug his body tightly to be as close as possible, if he intends to use offensive magic then he will hurt himself. Unfortunately I have no idea how to make my armor magic resistant or at least element-proof.

The red glow from his crystal horn intensifies and we suddenly change direction which spins us around and I end up on my back, sliding along the ground with him standing on me. He doesn't expect me to kick him off while still sliding so when all movement ends we both get up and stare at one another. I have no clue how he changed the head-first fall into a horizontal one but I was never one to question my enemy's mistakes. Despite my eyes having no problem with the darkness there is nothing much to see. He is skinnier than me and wrapped in rags and tatters with cloak covering his back and tail. The only two identifying features are his crystal horn and a mechanical arm resembling a griffon claw instead of his left front leg.

_To the left, NOW!_

I roll and a burst of fire scorches the place where I was half a second ago. All right, he has got wings... or not? On his back a pair of phoenix-like wings slowly fades to invisibility after sending out a fiery whirlwind at me. Fine, it's just a magical effect.

_No time to analyze, get up!_

Too late. He was just zoning me with his magic and I rolled exactly where he lands with his next jump and the claws tighten around my neck. My armor gives me protection from the sharp claws, or so I believe until his mechanical arm bursts with fire and I desperately kick him with both my hind legs. The blow from my both hardened legs kicks him away and his arm stops burning, he doesn't seem hurt though.

_What's that behind him?_

A swirling golden circle with sand coming out of it hangs in mid air some distance behind my enemy and tendrils of solidified darkness are grasping for anything that gets closer. There is no time to be watching it though because the enemy is faster than me, not by much though. I expect another magical attack but he just charges at me. That's a mistake, any martial artist worth his salt knows how to deal with an enemy running at him. I'm wrong again and when he stops abruptly and his clawed arm flashes green I'm not able to react and next thing I feel is paralyzing pain from my chest as his arm tears out a chunk of my natural armor along with the guard breastplate.

_Hmmm. That's how we look underneath._

Even my second self doesn't have a clue what's going on. It's really cold all of a sudden. Seeing me looking at the hole in my chest my attacker stops with his claw ready to swipe again.

_NOW!_

Thankfully for me, shock sets in and the overdose of adrenaline dulls the pain and allows me to concentrate for long enough to get both my swords levitating. I can't move while controlling both but the enemy usually has enough trouble with two razors flying through the air at blinding speed not to attack me. My offense ends when one of the swords melts after being swatted away by the reappeared fiery wing. The second one hits his neck directly... and with a loud 'clang' drops to the ground without doing any damage.

_What the heck is he?_

I don't know but I'm running out of tricks. Kicks and punches don't seem to hurt him and neither does steel apparently. I have no magic at my disposal but when my eyes pass the golden rift nearby I know I might have a chance of sending him back where he came from.

_Or he will just crawl back out of it and rip you to shreds with his claws._

Any better ideas?

_Nope. Go for it._

There's one thing I noticed and that is that he is lighter than me with my armor fully hardened and possibly not much stronger so I just charge him trying to take him to the rift with me. Unfortunately, every martial artist worth his salt knows how to deal with somepony charging straight at him and his skill proved to be way above mine even before this risky gambit.

He doesn't count on my weight though and my body spinning through the air after being tripped hits him with enough force to send him stumbling back to the portal where the black tentacles grab him and pull him back.

_Ooooh kaaaay?_

I just stare at the spectacle of my enemy getting slowly crushed like something big being dragged through a very small hole by an unstoppable force. Finally the screams and crunching noise stops.

_I take the crawling out again back._

My legs wobble and I fall on my back relieved. What now?

_Disgusting._

Very much so. I begin laughing crazily, I'm still alive.

_And happy about it. Now shut up, I hear somepony coming._

"I know ten kinds of spells to make your head blow up!" says a female voice from above. Even with my broken carapace I should be able to deal with a casual threat and the voice seems more scared than threatening. I remember queen Chrysalis and the feeling I got when I saw her real form for the first time. I must look similar to somepony who has never seen me before, especially with green blood slowly trickling down my chest. My changeling magic will heal it eventually but I'm getting dangerously hungry meaning I'm getting low on energy. Also, I haven't eaten almost anything the entire day.

"That's nice. I can shoot milk out of my nose if I drink enough," I mumble, still grinning to the darkness.

"I'm not kidding!"

"Neither am I so either get on with the blowing up or prepare to get sprayed."

That apparently confused her and I use the time to get up. The mare is a unicorn with blue coat, light blue mane and a cutie mark of magician wand trailing pixie dust. She takes few steps back.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie orders you to stay back!"

I look if there is somepony behind her.

"Don't see here anywhere."

"I AM The Great and Powerful Trixie!"

"Nice to meet you. I am Searington Illuminatus the Fourth, illegitimate heir of Starswirl the Bearded," I say, feeling entitled to a bit of fun after today. Trixie's eye twitches. I have a talent with mares, useless but hundred percent effective.

"Trixie has no time for this nonsense."

"Oh Great and Powerful Pixie, please forgive your humble servant and use your infinite wisdom to answer what is somepony of such unfathomable power doing here by the lake at night."

"TRIXIE! IT'S TRIXIE!"

"Blazing Light, royal guard at your service," I take a small bow and decide not to bother the mare more than neccessary.

"R-royal guard?"

It's obvious she doesn't believe me and I can't blame her. My armor got destroyed, outsiders probably don't know the difference between Nightguard and Royal Guard and I look like an overgrown changeling. I point at the pieces of metal previously called a breastplate and salute.

"Yes, ma'am. The complete package with the standing and the 'halt/who goes there?' "

Trixie giggles. If I knew she was a travelling performer I would have known that my imitation of guards she usually met was perfect.

"What are you doing here then?" she asks.

"I was accompanying princess Luna on the way to Ponyville and kinda tripped and fell out of her carriage."

"Wait, she's going to be in Ponyville tonight?"

"Yes, it's supposed to be a friendly visit to local celebration. Why, are you going there as well?"

"I'm supposed to perform my light show there to close the festival."

"I can escort you if you don't mind. I've never been there myself and could use a guide."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie allows it. But remember, one wrong move and your head goes 'boom'."

"I shall keep that in mind and my nose full of milk."

Shared laughter dispells any doubts that may have still been on both sides.

"By the way, are you in a hurry?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I have a fire nearby, you can rest a bit before we leave."

I realize I've been shivering for quite a while. The night air isn't too cold but the involuntary swimming lesson in sweat left me in a terrible shape. Weak muscles unable to keep the blood flowing and the full-body fatigue from everything that happened that day is just too much to handle. A short break sounds fantastic. Princess be damned, I want to warm up.

"That sounds amazing. Thank you miss Trixie."


	28. The Worst Two Days Ever: Doubles

[Blazing's Entry]

How to deal with the realization that there is somepony much better than you at the best thing you are good at?

I don't have an answer yet but I bet it will involve a lot of alcohol.

[End Entry]

* * *

I follow Trixie a short while until we get to a small one-pony cart which upon further inspection proves to be a small, colorful house on wheels. A cracking fire in a circle of stones is burning nearby. Trixie stops and looks at me nervously. Does she expect me to laugh at the pony cart that is her home? I live in a grey rundown apartment, this thing is amazing especially if she pulls it around.

"I've never seen anything that spelled 'home' so visibly and in such colorful letters."

_Where did that come from?_

I have no idea. My apartment compared to her small house is like comparing house to... a home.

"Do you want something to drink?" asks blushing Trixie.

"That would be fantastic, thank you."

I shuffle as close as I can towards the campfire and my wound begins healing, very slowly though. I have enough control and I did enough experiments to know how far I can go with my energy reserves so I'm not afraid of attacking my host on accident. As the warmth penetrates my body I smile at the memory of Canterlot guard outdoor survival training which consisted of pitching tents (hue hue!) in castle gardens at night. There should be training involving starvation and freezing to death while having to trust a stranger not to spike your drink and steal your armor and weapons to pawn them.

A hoof on my shoulder shows me I dozed off and the smell of honey and cinnamon coming from a metal cup in Trixie's hooves makes me begin drooling on the spot. My stomach rumbles.

"Hungry?" she asks.

"No, thanks. I don't want to impose any more than necessary."

The tea tastes even better than it smells. At that moment Trixie could have jumped up holding a bottle of poison and I still would have finished the cup, nothing of that sort happens though and she's just sitting there and watching me cautiously.

A distant howl pierces the night air and I realize I've been sitting here for way too long. On the other side fo the dying fire dizzy Trixie wakes up covered by a cloak with ornate stars on it.

"What was that?" I ask. My knowledge of the wild is limited to cleaning up my mess after drinking too hard the day before.

"It sounded like Timberwolves but they should be scared off by the..." her voice trails off as she looks at the dying embers of the campfire.

"You said you had something to do in Ponyville, is it far?"

"No. Let me just close the windows and lock the door so it doesn't accidentally open on the way."

When she leaves, my growling stomach reminds me of the only item of food I had today.

_Honeyed hay bar, you were more than just food. You were a friend._

When Trixie announces she's done I get ready to pull her home. It's the least I can do.

"I can do it myself," she says a bit defensively.

"Don't worry about it. After we get to Ponyville you won't ever see me again so enjoy this while it lasts."

She doesn't argue. The house is surprisingly light, truly a miracle of engineering, and we walk in silence for almost an hour. When we pass a group of fillies following a zebra I know the village can't be far. Trixie coughs politely as we get close to the first houses of Ponyville.

"Can we stop here? I need to prepare and get my act together."

"Sure. Can I help you with something else?"

"No, thanks."

"All in the day's duty for a guard, miss," I say and salute.

Now to find the princess and her group. Tonight being the Nightmare Night it means that nopony even bothers giving me a second glance aside from few whistles at my 'costume'. I expect the princess to be easy to find but the celebration and all attractions are spanning the entire town. Nothing seems out of ordinary so I just stroll lazily and look around in case I catch a glimpse of royal blue mane.

The face of princess Luna biting an apple and pulling it out of a bucket filled with water surprises me but she seems happy enough and after a bit of investigation I see Sharp Biscuit watching the princess as well from an alley and eating something. I've sort of admired him since I first met him and now he inspires me again, this time to get something to eat. I light up a vanilla cigarette and find the closest food stand. There is way too many candy shops and similar estabilishments but the only food stand is run by a brown mare with blonde mane wearing a cowboy hat. Evidently even the Elements of Harmony have normal jobs aside from being superheroes.

I return to my alley from where I have good angle to see the celebration around Luna and enjoy the apple pie I bought and another cigarette.

_Somepony is waching._

Looking around inconspicuously I see a small black cloud hovering nearby and a movement behind it. Somepony is sneaking up on me. So... what's the worst thing that can happen, another attack?

_Hardly, probably just a prankster._

A quiet snicker from behind the cloud means somepony wants to take a stab at a defenseless pony. I slowly levitate my remaining sword through the shadows behind the cloud to scare the prankter myself. I slap its flank with the flat of my blade and two things happen almost at once. A figure in black bodysuit kicks the cloud and a small thunderclap comes followed by a bolt of lightning. Unfortunately for it, my sword connects with her flank earthing the lightning back to the pranksters behind. That worked better than planned and I grin as a pained yelp comes from the figure which disappears in the distance leaving a trail of smoke in its wake.

Looking around proves I lost the princess while eating and the light show over a different part of town is my next destination. When I get to the town square the light show is already over but a different one begins.

Princesses Luna and Twilight Sparkle are standing in the middle of the town square with their horns blazing as a barrier of shimmering air hangs around them stopping red and black beam aimed at them by a purple unicorn wearing brown robe with a cape covering her face. At least I suppose it's a female from her size. Sharp Biscuit and some other ponies are taking cover behind the princesses, one of them is another Element of Harmony - Rarity, if I remember correctly.

"Not bad, for a newbie," shouts the hooded pony smugly and the beam disappears.

The protective barrier stays though and both alicorns watch the attacker carefully.

"Do you know who we are?" exclaims princess Luna.

"My guess would be Luna, queen Celestia's traitor sister. Aaaaand the one next to you is my favorite pony."

The robed unicorn takes her hood off and smiles widely. It is an insane smile I know well from the mirror after another unsuccessful day. This time however it is on the face of a unicorn version of Twilight Sparkle with her eyes covered by bandages which don't seem to hinder her in any way.

"Who are you?" asks princess Twilight in disbelief.

"Not as smart as you look, are you? Maybe the brain can't handle all the thinking and controlling those wings at the same time. By the way, congratulations on getting those. How did you do it?"

Princess Twilight stays silent.

"Boring and uptight, just like I remember. Well, I have ways to make you talk."

Unicorn Twilight sends another red beam which causes alicorn Twilight to scream but the shield doesn't drop as it's still supported by princess Luna who is barely holding off her anger.

"We haven't condemned you yet and you have our curiosity to thank for that but we will be asking questions now! State your name and your purpose here."

Unicorn Twilight just tilts her head.

"How cute, you really think you are in charge of the situation. Maybe this will-"

Luna's eyes glow a brilliant white and a massive lightning bolt strikes robed Twilight.

"THOU SHALT ADDRESS US CORRECTLY!"

As the dust rises, Luna turns to Twilight.

"Do you have any idea who it was? She looked danger-"

"Well that tickled," comes from the small crater where unicorn Twilight is still standing with a book floating next to her and red and black smoke floating around.

"She has got the Alicorn amulet, I know the feel of that kind of magic," whispers princess Twilight to Luna, warning her to be careful.

"Correct, my dear and may I add that the legend about its wearer being the only one capable of taking it off is completely wrong. Oh the memories of ripping that piece of trash Trixie's head off still get me off sometimes."

Luna throws a horrified glance at alicorn Twilight who blushes and swears she isn't into that kind of thing.

"Pfff at least be honest, cutie," taunts unicorn Twilight her counterpart thanks to her supernatural hearing.

Luna doesn't have the patience to continue what seems to be pointless chatter and decides that whoever the unicorn is, she must be wiped from the face of Equestria. A brilliant glow blinds the audience as another lightning bolt strikes the target and is followed by a beam of light causing reality to distort at the place of impact.

"DISAPPEAR!"

"Not gonna happen, girlie."

Unicorn Twilight is still standing untouched, red glow of her horn casting black shadows which look more like holes into deep space.

"Buuuut I'm not here for you so why don't YOU disappear once again into the depths of history," the unicorn says pleasantly.

The book next to unicorn Twilight flashes white in sync with her horn and the barrier protecting the two princesses disappears. She smiles and aims the glowing horn at the group.

_Time to earn your paycheck._

I don't really want to sacrifice myself for Luna but when I see Sharp Biscuit jumping in front of the incoming glow I dash through quicksand to push him out of the way and succeed in taking the spell directly. I sit down as everything begins spinning and energy begins draining away from my hardened armor. Everypony's voices seem to be coming from far away and via a metal tube. I just want to lie down and rest.

"How pointless. I can do this all night but you're gonna run out of pawns eventually," laughs unicorn Twilight.

_That was stupid._

No, it wasn't. That was the one blow I can divert from the princess so she can destroy the attacker.

_Because that worked last two times, right? Jumping into the spell of somepony on par with two alicorn princesses. How idiotic._

I suppose you would have done things differently.

_Definitely better._

You know what? Shut the buck up! If you are some retarded voice in my head or my second ego or whatever the heck you are then why don't you take over and be such a success? You can't because you are trash like me! You just sit there and complain and bother me constantly about everything but you CAN'T DO ANYTHING BY YOURSELF!

_I-_

YOU NOTHING! You are just a bit useful sometimes but a giant pain in the ass otherwise. How do I know? Because you are me so either get to the driver seat or shut up forever, is it clear?

Silence.

Finally. After so many years... just silence.

"Now, I think we got off to a bad start. Let's get rid of these interruptions and have some one on one time, Twilight. I think we have much to discuss," says the unicorn.

I look up at the unicorn getting closer with her horn glowing, ready to eradicate my existence... or turn me into a mare. Magic studies isn't really my expertise. 'Evil' Twilight looks unimpressed at the performance of both princesses and aims at me. Is this the end?

A different voice speaks to me in my head now. Great... I get rid of one and gain another.

_This is just the beginning, young one._

However more pleasant the calm voice is compared to my own, believing him is impossible because the red glow from Twilight's horn intensifies. Why are they just standing? Why aren't they helping? At least run away, idiots, if you can't do anything.

_They do not care, young one. To those alicorns, you are just a spark that flies up and dies in a flash. They are eternal, you are nothing. But they will learn that nothingness is the most terrifying thing in the entire creation._

What are you?

_You will find out soon enough. For now, call me Void. By the way, I think the nice unicorn lady wants to have a chat._

"I would really enjoy ripping you apart limb from limb but my time here is limited. Sooo just die, mister guard."

They really could have at least faked some sort of rescue attempt to make me feel better before the end. The glowing horn obscures everything else.

_I told you this was just the beginning._

The light fades without doing anything and when I can finally see again I just stand up after few attempts and see that the unicorn is gone. Tired to death, I turn to princess Luna and salute.

"I'm back, your Highness."

I would be laughing at their dropped chins if I wasn't completely spent. I've got a new roommate in my head and I've escaped death twice. All in all, not a bad night.

And I got a pie. Never forget about pie!


	29. The Worst Two Days Ever: Again

[Blazing's Entry]

After the unexplained disappearance of unicorn Twilight, Rarity got the ones caught in the crossfire to their homes and Sharp helped me wobble at slow pace to local library where princess Twilight is residing. The princesses are talking about the doppleganger threat right now and I'm enjoying some tea and biscuits, both Sharp and sweet.

The voice of my second self disappeared but now I have a new one, evidently my hollow head had enough space for anything to just move in.

Next time I should charge rent.

With the Nightmare celebration over, there is nothing to do except waiting for the princesses to call it a night and go back to Canterlot.

[End Entry]

* * *

"Are you okay?"

I lick my lips and finish scribbling into my diary.

"Are you okay?" repeats princess Twilight.

"Hmmm?" I mumble. My eyelids are closing by themselves, this really was a crappy day.

"You just took an unknown spell in the face. If you can't react properly I'll have to keep you here as a patient."

I have absolutely no desire to tell her about the voice. Not that I have no respect for the fresh princess of Equestria but I am just too tired.

"I'm fine, your Highness."

"Can you tell me what the spell did to you? I mean how it felt."

Twilight Sparkle is widely recognized as princess Celestia's star pupil as far as magic is concerned so making up the effects of the spell will probably be found out, moreso if somepony with no knowledge of said subject tries to do it. On the other hoof, I'm not feeling too anxious about spending the rest of my life in a padded cell.

"I felt my magic draining away and was crazy tired. The second thing may have had nothing to do with the spell though as princess Luna probably can tell you," I say, leaving out the unimportant details.

"You handled that pretty well. Most unicorns would have collapsed or died from such type of magic because their bodies can't deal with losing something so connected to their existence."

"As you can see, I'm pretty far away from being a unicorn despite starting that way and I've never had any kind of natural magical ability except for telekinesis. I can't even create light which is a basic thing even for fillies. No big loss there so I think my body didn't really care."

The surprised expression on Twilight's face is priceless. I must seem like a cripple to her, the bearer of Element of Magic. She begins mumbling some theories about draining magic and leaves me alone, it seems that her connection to reality comes and goes depending on her level of interest in something.

Her line of questioning awakened my curiosity and I turn my attention to one of the spell effects. Is the new crazy voice thing there?

_Void will suffice, thank you. How can I help you?_

Are you really a side-effect of unicorn Twilight's spell or just another fragment of my split personality?

_I can assure you I am my own being and you did well to have kept me a secret. The alicorn would have killed you if you told her._

Is it that bad? I'm pretty sure the alicorn of magic would have just kept me around in a jar of something.

_She is the alicorn of magic?_

Yes, she turned into one few months ago.

_That is... sad._

How come?

_It means Magnus died._

Should I even ask?

_It is nothing of concern to you. An old friend._

My condolences.

_Everypony dies eventually, trust me on that._

So about the spell... ?

_It is a dark magic supposed to drain life, will and magic from the target and upon its death summon a demon from Tartarus._

Wow, that sounds evil. Am I correct in assuming you are the demon?

_Partially. You do not seem impressed though._

Firstly, I'm still not dead. Secondly, fearing for my life isn't really my thing anymore.

_You could do me a favor and let me take over. I promise it will be painless._

Nah. Maybe after I screw up too much. What kind of demon are you anyway?

_That would take too long to explain. Let us just say that Celestia will get some serious spanking when I get out._

I have to admit I'm slightly worried. Void seems way more pleasant than my own thoughts and he doesn't seem too eager on hurting me but that might change when we aren't within blowing-up distance from princess Luna. His grudge against princess Celestia matters little to me. When he comes out it means I'm dead and out of reach of revenge.

In the end both princesses come to a decision that to solve the doppleganger mystery they will need a bigger library and possibly somepony who didn't spend last millenium locked in a different dimension. The carriage awaits us in front of the library and we fly back at lazy pace. I have a problem though. Tonight's events mean that I won't have almost any sleep before I have to start my morning recruit lessons so I just try to rest as much as possible on the way. Thankfully, the other Nightguards managed to get a new carriage so I don't have to look down.

"We are glad you are all right," says the princess.

"Thank you. I'd rather eat my own leg than fly again though. Or fall down with somepony choking me to death."

"That's disgusting."

"Not with mustard."

"Pfff. What happened to the attacker?"

"No idea, I threw him to some rift in space or whatever and I believe he is dead... or serving as a marmelade substitute considering the effect it had."

"You have strange sense of humor."

"I'm just too tired, princess, and I have my regular duties in few hours."

I doze off.

"Mrmmf?" my eyes open when I feel a hoof prodding me.

"We are here. We will not ask you to accompany us to our chambers. Your duty is over for tonight."

"Oh right. Goodnight, your Highness."

The plan is to get home as fast as possible and pull off some two-three hours of sleep before heading back to the training grounds. Thankfully, walking through Canterlot streets isn't too dangerous even in the shadiest of its parts unless one is terminally unlucky or stupid. I consider myself both of those but the criminal underground is either on holiday or doesn't want to needlessly bother a Nightguard so I get home with no problems and drop on the bed even without drinking my 'medicine'. I'm out even before my head touches the pillow.

"KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK"

Please no! Whatever it is I don't care.

"KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK"

"This place is cursed. Go away!" I yell at the door.

This time I'm awake almost instantly. Sleeping for such short time leaves me surprisingly refreshed but I know that the meager two hours are not enough and I will pay for it later.

"Hey Blaze, let me in!" identifies the knocker as Choking.

Not happening, stay there and rot. Unfortunately I have to go to the castle pretty soon and she managed to wake me up with time to spare despite me forgetting to set the alarm clock. Perhaps I could have a breakfast?

I go to the bathroom and begin brushing my teeth. Risking my recruits suffocating by accident when I shout at them is not my idea of a good time.

"KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK"

I punch the wall and bite through my wooden toothbrush. There is no way around it, she's not going to go away and I have to open the damn door and release the ancient evil comparable to Discord in his flimsy days. I might be overreacing... just a bit though. I pray to both princesses I have enough strength to suppress the strangling impulse when I open the door.

"Hi Blaze, wanna go-"

She stops.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!" she begins laughing crazily and I realize I still have the toothbrush in my sharp teeth and am trailing toothpaste. Still, my deranged expression turns into one of promised murder.

"I've heard of morning wood dripping white goo, heck I've caused it more than enough times but I think you're not doing it right," she points at my face.

My eye twitches. Must. Not. Kill.

"How are ya doing this mighty fine morning?" she winks at me.

Terrible and you aren't helping.

"All right. Thank you for asking," I say, frost forming on every single word.

"Wanna grab breakfast?"

Only if I can order poison. For you or me, doesn't matter which.

"Yea, sure."

"Awesome. I'll wait downstairs."

I could jump out of the window. There is some garbage under it so I might just break one or two legs and crawl away unnoticed. That might be worth it.

"I'll be there in a minute."

This time I have enough willpower not to slam the door. Logically I have no reason to be angry at Choking but logic and my current state after yesterday don't work well together. My guard armor got destroyed so I just clean myself a bit and go meet my 'favourite' batpony.

"You said something about breakfast?" I ask when I meet her outside of the apartment building where she's watching early rising ponies with interest.

"Yep! And to show how grateful I am for yesterday, I'm paying."

"Are we going to Joe's?"

"Mhm, I'm in the mood for something sweet. Let's roll."

We begin strolling lazily through Canterlot streets.

"You should watch your figure. All the sitting around in the office is making you pudgy," I take a friendly shot at her.

"We can't all look as slim, pretty and feminine as you, Blaze. Besides, real stallions like a bit of 'oomph' in their mares."

"The only 'oomph' coming out of them will be when your 'real stallions' break their kneecaps while picking you up."

The jokes aren't really fair to Choking. She usually spends a lot of time on my lessons and daily does some light exercise at the gym and if she meets somepony interesting then even some quite hefty bedroom exercise. Her job keeps her slim and her natural lean frame leaves her with a figure that catches one's eye without even trying. She really could have left out the 'sissy' jokes, it keeps catching on between guards and I can't beat up everypony.

"Oh don't be jealous, you'll find a nice stallion for yourself one day as well," my jab gets deflected easily by her.

Urge to kill... rising.

"Just for that, I'm ordering the biggest chocolate cake and shoving it down your throat," I push on.

"Is that a threat or do you want some more? I'm getting mixed signals here."

I hit her softly on the forehead. Winning against her is hard but I'm not going down easily.

"Clear enough for you?"

She pretends to be crying and between obviously fake sobs she pulls out a question.

"Why are you so mean to me?"

"Because I don't think mares like you should be in the guard."

"What?" the sobbing is gone, replaced by a disbelieving expression.

"I think with you being a guard, Equestrian theatre scene missed a real prodigy."

Totally worth it. For a second she actually believed that I'm some 'go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich' kind of guy. Before she can retaliate, Donut Joe's shop comes to view and we go right to the counter.

"What'll it be?" asks Joe.

"One coffee and a super-sized jelly king donut XXL. And for you, Blaze?" orders Choking.

"My usual tea and whatever the super donut thing she asked for was."

"Sure thing. Have a seat and I'll bring it to you in a sec," acknowledges Joe and leaves.

We sit down, waiting for Joe who comes soon with our drinks.

"You'll have to wait for the donuts though. Girls are still filling them in the back. It takes a big pump and some time."

"Thanks Joe, you're a miracle," I say after taking a sip.

"Sooo, how was the night with the princess?" asks Choking.

"Don't even ask. If I never see another alicorn again it will be too soon."

"You don't say. Was she mean to you or something?"

"Not her as such. Princess Twilight threatened to make me a study specimen."

"That's a hefty demotion."

"There was a downward direction involved in the event. Yea... definitely."

I continue.

"I got blown out of a flying carriage in the middle of the flight. Then I had to fight off an attacker who was hundred times better at martial arts then me, pull a mobile house for way longer than I liked and in the end face a wizard that made two princesses crap their pants, if they were wearing any."

"That's quite something."

We notice Donut Joe waving at us from the counter.

"You wouldn't let a small, weak and increasingly fat mare carry all that, right?" Choking nods at me.

"The exercise might do you good."

"True, but I might eat your donut by accident."

"How terrifying. I'm going, I'm going. "

It takes a while but the breakfast is served.

"Here you go," I give her the superdonut and breathe in relief as the thing was heavy enough to bruise my natural armor.

"Thanks," she digs in.

I finish off my tea and begin fighting the donut. It is filled to bursting with blueberry jelly and I feel buzzing with energy when I'm done with Joe's masterpiece. The colors around me suddenly seem a bit too invasive and bright, perhaps a sugar overdose?

"I must admit I had a second reason to invite you here," says Choking.

"You want to sell my kidneys on the black market and buy yourself a trophy husband."

"YOUR kidneys? Heavens no! Those things could be used as catapult ammo considering how much you drink."

"Well now I'm definitely going to say no."

"Pleeeeeeeease!" this time her angelic expression doesn't work.

"No, whatever it is."

"Pretty pretty please!"

I'm shocked to hear myself agree but with my fatigue gone after the breakfast I feel a bit more agreeable.

"Will you take over my graveyard shift today as well?"

You've got to be kidding me. I will die!

"Yea sure, whatever. Where?"

"Library."

"Fine. Walking six hours in a circle should be fun."

"I knew you would do it. I'll buy you something REEEEEEALLY nice for that, this time fo real."

"I'm going to pretend to believe that but we should go. If I'm not on time, my guys might get lazy."

"I doubt that. If you don't show up they'll just put a helmet on a stick to watch them and do their exercises by themselves. I've never seen such new recruits act so disciplined without some serious beating."

"I got a lucky draw, all real troublemakers ran away to Rising Thunder after first week."

She pays for the sweets and we get on our way to the castle.

"How was the party last night?" I ask, feeling a bit chatty all of a sudden.

"My night went definitely better than yours I must admit."

"Listening to somepony reading End User License Agreement would be better than last night."

"Heh. It was fun, I managed to score a date with a real prince."

"Shining Armor was there as well?"

"Nope, prince Blueblood."

"You're kidding, that halfwit?"

"He is charming, handsome and confident."

"And also dumb as a brick, trust me. I've stood guard on many garden parties and Grand Galloping Galas and there is a good reason that guy is still single."

I know I'm right but she doesn't take me crushing her dreams in the best way.

"Just like you," she stabs me in the back with that comment.

"That just shows I know what I'm talking about," I use her own defense against her.

"Say what you want but how often does one get a chance to speak to a prince?"

"Blueblood would try to pick a date with a cactus if you draped fancy robe over it."

"Don't be jealous."

"Jealous, who's jealous? If some tramp is so shallow and tries to score him just because he's a prince then she probably deserves him anyway."

My stupid mouth betrays me again. Apologize, now!

"Sorry, Chokey."

Better stick to the weather next time.

Her silence proves to me that I cut deep. I know she does have a problem with keeping coltfriends longer than through one night but a date with Blueblood will end in somepony crying. Most likely not her, but no reason to risk it.

Me and my big mouth...


	30. The Worst Two Days Ever: Betrayed

[Blazing's Entry]

I'm writing this at home, thinking about today and still livid about how irresponsible Choking was. Perhaps I could relieve some stress with a large 'Magnum XL' rubber sex-toy which I got from Heavy Hoof as a joke?

I've never used it before and being impaled on an oversized lamp post might not be as fun as it might appear at first... so probably not.

A bottle of Rotgut? Fighting the world, one 'glug' at a time. Somehow I don't feel like drinking and if I remember the effect of hard liquor and energy pills mixed together correctly then my brain will try to leave via ears anyway.

Might not be a bad thing? Nah... I don't feel like dying yet.

Although I wouldn't be the one cleaning the mess.

Buck it, I promised Choking to take over her night shift. Blowing my head up can wait.

I hate you, Chokey... I really do.

[End Entry]

* * *

Despite my training session not starting for at least ten minutes, my recruits are already standing at attention when I enter the training grounds. The reason for their nervousness becomes apparent soon as a grey earthpony with light blue mane reveals himself. A bloodthirsty grin appeares on his face when he notices me.

"Hello there, sargeant Light," Rising Thunder greets me without any friendliness in his smile. Apparently me beating up his daughter yesterday will bite me in the ass now, who would have guessed?

"What do you want, sargeant Thunder?" I imitate him, putting emphasis on Thunder.

"I was just asking your guys some questions about the training yesterday."

"If you want some tips, you can just come ask me."

Rising notices the grins on my unicorns' faces and scowls at me.

"Speaking of which, I called my group here a bit earlier than usual to give them some pointers so how do you feel about a rematch?"

I look at the group of earthponies who look more harrassed than usual. Knowing Rising's aggressive nature I feel a bit sorry for them. Whatever the earthpony trainer means by 'giving them some pointers' left them in pretty bad shape. Still, after yesterdays' results I doubt one day could make a difference. If one Rising's lesson can make his ponies win then he deserves his own religion.

"I don't have a problem with that but your earthponies look really tired."

He leans down a depressingly long way to whisper into my ear.

"Don't underestimate us earthponies, bug. Even if my guys go down, your group will see what a worthless hack you really are when I beat you to the ground and piss on your head."

Why does he hate me so much? Is it only because of the changeling-unicorn thing?

"Are you threatening me or trying to get me to bed?" I use my version of Choking's icebreaker.

Fuming, Rising Thunder raises his voice so everypony can hear his challenge.

"All I'm hearing is that you don't want to fight unless it's against a little girl. Buuut I understand it's difficult to find somepony your size among stallions."

Honestly, I'm more bored than angry so if he somehow kicks my butt it will be over soon at least.

"Let's get this over with then."

"Perfect. Group, get to positions! Whoever loses their duel is cleaning the latrines tonight!"

Rising's latrine threat works wonders again. I think all drill sargeants dread the grim future when recruits find out the truth during their orientation day. If the recruits are at least a bit interested then today will be something to enjoy, watching two experts fight seriously is something they might not see ever again. The weak clatter of wooden practice weapons proves to me they are just faking it to watch us get started. I levitate a practice sword while Rising picks up a spear. The practice spears don't have pointy ends but end up in a pink pom-pom which stings like blazes if it bruises you.

"Picking a weapon where all action happens as far away from you as possible and decorating it with pink, fluffy end. I guess we know now who wears the laced panties on this battleground," I taunt him. There is no reason not to enjoy the practice.

He doesn't fall for it and his answer comes in form of a punch which surprises me and connects before I can even partially harden my armor. The second of concussion is enough for somepony of his caliber to stand up on his hind legs, spin the spear around his body and slam me hard to the side with enough force to send me flying.

It is like getting hit by a full laden ox cart but I get up quickly and breathe deeply to make the pain go away. I answered in kind though and my sword flew and hit Rising straight in the stomach. If this was a real fight then I would have won right here and now. Wooden weapons are just what we trainers get because corpses are chronically incapable of learning. That's proven by science.

Rising is propping himself up by his spear making an easy target so I charge to kick him while 'slashing' at his legs from behind with my sword. I misread him completely and try to make the best of a terrible situation by spinning in the air after he assumes an anti-charger position with one end of the spear in the ground and the other aiming at me. My small frame saves me and my spin ends only with a green gash in my side. I mentally kick myself for charging an enemy with a long, sharp stick.

Rising's intentions become clear when he stabs the ground where I was rolling a second ago and stomps hard at my escape path. He wants to kill me and call it a training accident. What is driving him I don't know but the breakfast gave me enough energy not to care and just try to win at all cost. I levitate a second sword and trip him with it while slamming him hard in the head with my first one. I have to risk not being able to move but two hard, wooden sticks should be enough to protect me.

Rising is good though. As he approaches the ground he still manages to swing, aiming directly at my face.

I dodge... somehow I can move. I CAN MOVE! For the first time I can move and control both weapons at the same time. I begin laughing happily at the realization and begin jumping around while taking a lazy swing at Rising. The gaping wound in my side doesn't bother me despite it still bleeding and not healing. Drunk on victory and cheers of the recruits I offer a hoof to help Rising get up.

He grabs it and looks me in the eyes. After a second he releases his grip and shouts.

"I thought so. You are a junkie as well as a drunk!"

"What?" I have no idea.

"Don't deny it. What you just did is impossible, the wound doesn't even slow you and your pupils are dilated so much I'm surprised you can even see properly."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I mean that you are getting booted from the guard when I tell the others. Choking may have saved your sorry ass when you were just drinking but this time you're done. Recruits, get a last look at this wreck! Drugs are strictly prohibited in the guard and you should never stoop to a level where you need them to prove yourself against newbies."

I just stand there and try to think. It makes sense now, the sudden burst of energy despite being starved on the pony side and hungry even on the changeling side. Thinking back I remember Choking at the gym. The speed...

She's been using pep pills from time to time to deal with her shifts after wild nights. She must have spiked my drink this morning to make me agree to her dumb request and overdone the dosage. That little manipulative bitch. I mean she's a friend but what the heck? This is WAY too much!

I'm not going to make excuses though. The effects were quite obvious so I should have noticed. Admitting being on drugs won't help though and neither will lying. This is a well-founded case so Rising can just call princess Luna because I have the 'luck' to be a Nightguard.

Damn you, Chokey! What have you done?

I'm not going to tell anypony. I don't want to ruin her reputation. My job doesn't matter.

"Do what you want, Rising. Recruits, lesson is over! Do your exercises if you want to," I shout and without looking back I stride towards the castle and my office.

Time to do some paperwork and hope that Rising will just blackmail me or enjoy thinking about me stewing in my sweat instead of just informing the upper crust about it. Two hours tick away so perhaps Rising was just blowing smoke. My recruits can take care of themselves for one lesson so I decide not to show my face at the gardens and just go home.

I think I deserve a bit of rest before the library patrol.


	31. The Worst Two Days Ever: Vacation

[Blazing's Entry]

One has to laugh at how just as everything seems all right it turns around completely. I could blame Choking, I SHOULD blame her. I could blame Blueblood and Rising Thunder or I could blame myself for not noticing. It would change nothing though.

Void is right, blaming is pointless. Looking back is pointless right now as well. I chose to act and for once I think I did the right thing.

The irony is that I'm going to swing for it.

I know it was stupid but my last wish was to get a chance to write a last entry to this journal. Damn, the guards are coming already.

Gotta admit, it was fun, both the good times and the bad ones.

[End Entry]

* * *

I'm sitting at home and trying to rest a bit before I have to go to the library. Having my guard badge should be enough for the duty and most guards from both branches know me or at least about me. As far as safety is concerned my changeling carapace offers enough protection so one could say I'm always in uniform.

Eventually the library duty calls and I begin walking in a huge circle around the main room. A deep voice in my head makes me twitch but considering this is the most boring assignment a guard can have I enjoy the company.

_Scared?_

Void?

_The one and only._

I'm not. I'm just waiting for things to unfold. If worst comes to worst I'll lose my job, move to some other city and become a guard there before the word spreads. Or I might get lynched for being a changeling-ish thing, who knows.

_What does it matter?_

It's been a while but I did start a new life in a completely new city without any friends. I might be just soft now but I don't want to lose them despite everything.

_Are you sure she is your friend? Drugging you just so she could get a free evening is not something which can be easily forgiven._

I really believe she didn't want to hurt me in any way. She just often doesn't think things through which is kind of my opposite because I never stop overthinking stuff.

_Is she your marefriend?_

Choking? No way. How did you come to such a silly conclusion?

_You seem to have decided rather quickly that her ruining your life does not matter._

Honestly, I wouldn't have a life if it weren't for her. You can say I love her... in a way but don't bother thinking about it too much.

_Have you ever told her?_

Heh no. I don't want to inflict myself on her.

_That is a pretty strange wording._

Just leave this subject. I'm not her type and I can't imagine taking care of somepony. All I know how to do is to beat others up.

_All right. Just let me tell you this - I do not have to be millenia old to know that not taking a chance is much worse than failing. If you are afraid of ruining your friendship by telling her then if she is a true friend she should get over it._

That's just a theoretical scenario anyway. I don't deserve her at all.

_Life is not about deserving something. Some things just happen without your touch and all you can do is roll with it._

You don't understand. I'm just an idiot who would end up hurting her even if she for some crazy reason accepted.

_No, YOU do not understand. You are young and still stupid. Do not try to judge yourself by some pointless rules you set up without having enough experience to think about them first. There will always be someone who does not like you and your choices but do not think one of you has to be wrong. If your relationship failed then you would at least have experience to make the next one better._

If I'm so stupid then why bother imparting your wisdom on me?

_Because with enough time and the right kind of pressure you may turn out fine._

You're actually nice for a demon but I think turning out fine is out of reach for me.

_Stop with this good or evil nonsense. I am who I am and I have my own goals which contradict the goals of others at times. Let me ask you this - does me antagonizing Celestia bother you?_

She is doing all she can to take care of ponies under her rule so... yes.

_Then you would consider me evil._

Yes... damn. I know where this is going.

_There you have it._

I'm not saying I agree with you but you make some sense.

_I am not saying you have to, it is just a different viewpoint you might want to explore before condemning others and yourself so quickly. There are hundreds of those on every street corner and they keep changing all the time which just shows how important they truly are. In the end everything turns to nothingness so beating yourself up has no value._

I'm seriously considering giving you my body for free. It would probably be better for the world than having me in it.

_The world does not give a damn, kid. And after peeking into your stupid head I would not take the offer anyway. I will be out after you die and witnessing your path through life might prove amusing in the meantime._

Are you immortal?

_In a sense._

That must be terrible.

_Most ponies would say 'amazing'._

I can't handle one free evening without drinking myself stupid. Being immortal must become incredibly boring eventually.

_Maybe you are not as stupid as you seem at first glance._

Well that's a high praise.

_It really is. Enjoy it while you can._

"I know you're wet for me."

That's flattering, Void, but I don't swing that way.

_Firstly, I do not think you can say that after thinking about sticking battering ram's bigger brother up your ass and secondly, that was not me, you halfwit. Use your ears._

Void is right. Why are all the voices in my head so much better at noticing things?

"Come on, you know you want to," says a forceful male voice.

"I'm not ready."

The defensive female voice brings a chill to my spine. Somewhere in the darkness is a redmaned batpony who must have brought her date to the castle wing which was most likely to be deserted at this time of night. Her date... her date... Blueblood.

I shuffle back not to be noticed but the conversation is becoming harder and harder to ignore. Damn my excellent hearing.

"You came here which means you're ready," says Blueblood.

"NO!"

"Shhh. Somepony might hear us."

"Get offa me, you swine!"

"Or what, little guard?"

"I'll scream."

"Feel free to do so. Do you honestly think anyone would care about some bat skank desperately trying to hit it off with a prince?"

"..."

"Now be a good girl and spread those shapely legs."

I could leave her to her fate. It's not as if she doesn't deserve it. I warned her and all I got was being used by her AGAIN. The next thing I hear however makes me give her a blank slate.

"...help..." sqeaks Choking in a weak voice unsure whether she wants to be heard or not.

"What's going on here? This area is off limits at this hour," I step in and try to sound as official as possible.

Blueblood pushes Choking to one of library windows and turns towards me.

"Hello there, officer. Me and my partner here were just looking for a quiet place to... enjoy ourselves."

A glimpse at Choking reveals a slightly tearful face which burns me inside. Still, she deserves to stew at least a bit for what she did.

"Well, find a different place then. The library is closed."

"I don't think you understand, mister guard. My name is prince Blueblood and I can go where the heck I please in this castle. But I can see that in this darkness you must have mistaken me for somepony unimportant and since I feel charitable I forgive you. Take this and leave us alone."

As the thrown bag of coins hits the floor, it catches my attention. For Blueblood it must be unimportant but as far as the size is concerned I've just been offered enough money to begin a new life in a different part of Equestria. The solution to my probable booting out of the guard is in front of me. All I have to do is walk away and buy myself a small farm in the country.

... and then slit my throat with a broken wine bottle.

"I don't think YOU understand, Blueballs. The lady said no so pack your silly tuxedo and scram."

"How dare you speak to me like that!"

Blueblood's horn glows with magic but a civillian doesn't stand a chance against the strike of somepony fueled by disgust, years of training and the remains of Choking's pep pill overdose in his bloodstream. Blueblood's red blood splatters on the library wall and then I...

...feel my legs fail me as something hits me in the head from behind.

"It's good thing I took the night shift today to watch over this junkie, your Excellency. Are you okay?"

Even when dazed, I recognize the raspy voice of Rising Thunder. Blueblood doesn't answer and just gestures towards the bag of bits on the floor. His words are reserved for the trash who dared to touch him.

"Attacking a member of Equestrian royalty while being on drugs. You're going to swing for this, mister guard."

He then turns to Choking.

"Get out of here, bitch. And if you tell anypony I'll make sure there are two nooses swaying in the wind."

I can't even blame her after she flies away through the window. Still woozy, I can't defend myself when Rising binds my legs and carries me to the castle dungeon. Soon after, princess Luna accompanied by Blueblood comes to interrogate me. Blueblood is a coward, but one with privileges. I wasn't willing to risk her job, I'm even less willing to risk Choking's life.

"Is it true that you were on drugs during your morning shift?" asks Luna, scanning my answer for any trace of lies. How pointless.

"Yes."

"Is it true that you drink excessively?"

"Yes."

"Did you attack prince Blueblood in the library?"

"Yes."

"Why did you do it?"

I could tell the truth but Blueblood would get out of it anyway, possibly with a warning and something equally pointless. In the worst case they might force Choking to testify and who would protect her from Blueblood's thugs then? I have a good reason to stay silent.

Luna knows me and tries to give me a helping hoof but there is no way I'm taking even the slightest chance of provoking Blueblood.

"Do you realize the what the punishment for your crime is?"

"Death."

"And you still won't talk?"

"No."

"Then we are done here."

The triumphant expression on Blueblood's face is something I don't think I will forget for the rest of my life, the upside being that it probably won't be long. They leave and I'm left to make peace with whatever gods I believe in.

Void?

_Hmm?_

Do you think I did the right thing?

_No._

What would you have done then?

_Killed Blueblood and Rising Thunder, then told Choking Darkness I loved her and made her happy to be a mare._

And what if she didn't love you?

_Then I would have taken Blueblood's gold and spent it all in the best whorsehouse in Canterlot._

Both of those actually sound pretty good.

_Do not be depressed, young one. For what it is worth, I like what you did._

Thanks. Seems like you will be out in the world again pretty soon.

_Seems so._

I thought you would be happier. Evil plans and whatnot.

_I told you I had more than enough time. I kind of feel sorry for you to tell the truth. All this is so incredibly pointless._

Ah well. Things just happen, what the heck.

_At least I taught you something._

In my cell, I just keep smiling at the wall with tears pooling at my hooves. I did something really good in the end.

The morning comes and with it also come two guards ready to escort me to my appointment with the rope. I don't resist and just enjoy the sweet, fresh air while I walk to a large tree which is decorated by a piece of rope gently swaying in the air. There is a small group of ponies here to watch justice being done. Princesses Celestia and Luna, Blueblood and Rising Thunder and hiding behind some others... Choking. Public executions are something unheard of in Canterlot but so are the instances of somepony attacking royalty.

A noose is promptly fastened around my neck and princess Celestia stands up.

"For crimes against Equestria, unprovoked attack and a robbery targeted at a member of royal family, serving under the effect of drugs and performing said attack in such state as well, your life is forfeit. Do you have any last words?"

I just grin at the stupidity of this situation.

"These were the shittiest two days of my life," I proclaim loudly.

In reflex I try to harden my armor as much as I can when the wooden block under my hind legs gets kicked away. A bad idea - instead of the rope snapping my neck the only thing my last struggle gives me is the slowest and most painful death possible.

I'm groaning and twitching but eventually my hardened carapace fails and darkness comes.

The twitching stops.


	32. Shadow Of Death: Sorrow

[Choking's Entry]

I really should have listened.

[End Entry]

* * *

"These were the shittiest two days of my life," says Blaze and smiles widely.

I look down. Why isn't princess Luna doing anything? I sit down and cover my ears to stop his helpless groaning.

The final kick of his legs comes and I just stare, frozen and helpless. Did Blueblood get away with it?

My dummy's not moving.

Somepony screams.

Black smoke begins spiraling from Blaze's corpse and ponies start running away. I just keep sitting there.

In a burst of liquid darkness his corpse disappears and instead of him there stands a pitch-black alicorn with two wings burning with black fire sprouting from his back. The noose previously hanging from the tree slowly burns away from the alicorn's neck. He stomps the ground experimentally and the purplish-black flames same as his mane and tail trail on the ground withering the grass around his hooves.

I look around and what catches my eye is princess Celestia... trembling. There is only four of us left - me, the princesses and the blackfire alicorn who speaks out in a slightly raspy but deep and melodic voice.

"Well hello there, Celestia. Nice weather we are having today."

The princess looks as if she's having a heart-attack.

"Oh no," she whispers.

"Quite the opposite, girl. Oh yes... very much yes."

Both royal sisters are unable to speak and the black alicorn watches us with an amused expression, his golden eyes almost visibly glowing.

I shake my head.

"Blaze?"

He takes few steps towards me and thinks for just a moment.

"My name is Void, miss Darkness. I understand Blazing Light was very fond of you and wished to see you one last time before he died. Thankfully, you attended this meeting so he was able to do so."

My hooves begin to shake. I was hoping this wasn't really happening, that it would work out somehow.

It didn't.

"How in seven circles of Tartarus did you get here, Void?" is a question full of raw hatred coming from Celestia. I've never even heard of the solar princess being this angry.

"A certain spell was used on this poor guard during Nightmare Night. The spell was aimed at your precious sister but he took it straight in the face and survived. It was supposed to summon me at the end of its target life and since you so foolishly did not bother finding out anything before killing mister Light, you did not dispel it and caused my promised return a tad early."

"You forced the guard to do this?"

"Not at all, your cousin conspired with one other culprit to frame Blazing Light who just tried to protect the bat girl here from attempted rape, but the personal struggle of little ponies is beyond you, Celestia. All you care about is for your 'perfect nation' to thrive."

"He didn't attack Blueblood?"

"Well, he did. In the course of protecting miss Darkness here, though. Blueblood tried to bribe him which was probably the money you considered missing. The money the other pony took."

Luna intervenes.

"But I was questioning him. He admitted being on drugs and attacking Blueblood and he wasn't lying."

"And you did not even bother finding out the details instead of just asking questions presented to you by the one responsible for this. I was there and he was not lying as he had been drugged by miss Darkness earlier that morning for reasons better left unsaid. Blazing Light had no idea any of that happened until it was too late and in his last attempt to do something right before being dismissed from the Royal Guard and eventually life he kept Blueblood's threat to miss Darkness a secret."

"Stop," whines princess Celestia. Void seems to be enjoying this way too much to stop though.

"You have just ordered the death of somepony completely innocent, Celestia. How does that feel?"

"SHUT UP!" yells Luna, unable to watch the pressure being put on her sister.

"Truth hurts, kid. When you grow older you might understand what your sister is going through. Be quiet in the meantime, grownups are talking."

"What do you want, Void?" asks princess Celestia.

"Firstly, to see you stew in the terrible cock-up you have made of things. Secondly... hmmmmmmm."

Void looks at the sky.

"I think I am going to amuse myself for a while. After that, we shall see. Have a nice day, everypony."

With echoing laughter, the black smoke swirls around Void and leaves nothing behind.

I need somewhere to hide. Barely able to see I run to Blaze's office and pull out his reserve bottle from the lowest drawer and set it on the table along with my bottle of pep pills. I can't read the warning label on the smaller bottle but I don't need to.

"I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry."

Sitting there, I just can't find the strength to swallow the contents. How could Luna have been so stupid? Why didn't Celestia repeal a stupid, centuries old law from the time when power struggles were common.

Why didn't I find the courage to speak up when I had the chance?

These questions and other ones keep circling in my head and when I'm finally able to leave the circle of pity I realize I've been sitting here the entire day.

So this is how Blaze felt all the time? Was the drinking really the only thing that could help? Perhaps I should try.

Blueblood.

"I might not be able to get you, Blueballs, but Rising Thunder will pay!" I hiss into the empty office definitely unexpecting the answer that comes from the open window behind me.

"May I be of some assistance, miss Darkness?"

In some respect the voice is rather pleasant. Void was the name, right?

"What are you doing here? I thought Celestia would kill you if she found you," I ask without any real desire to know. Anything is better than being alone with my thoughts.

"Thankfully, that is way out of her reach. Still, thanks to this host I possess only a small fragment of my power so we are locked in a very un-epic stalemate where nopony can actually hurt one another, at least directly and that is where you come in."

"What?"

"It is simple. I am looking for an ally and after witnessing what she and her sister did to your coltfriend I believe you may be it."

"Blaze wasn't my coltfriend... just my-"

Having heard that line before, Void steps in.

"-colleague, friend or something. Yes, I have had a similar conversation with Blazing Light before. He was not able to share how he saw you as well but I am ancient and experienced. He saw more than just a colleague or even a friend in you."

"You're just trying to manipulate me so I agree to be your 'ally' or whatever," I say in a withering tone.

His voice is calm but the directness makes it stab deep than a shout would.

"I may be many things but liar is not one of them. Frankly, I will find more influential and powerful ponies to do my bidding if you refuse but since Blueblood is a distant relative of Celestia and your target as well I believe we can help each other."

A slight spark of interest begins burning in me.

"Now THAT was a manipulation attempt if ever I saw one. I'm the only one you've got, right?"

"How very astute of you as that is indeed correct. I truly could find somepony powerful but that would take time I do not wish to spend for such effort at the moment."

"I'm not saying I'll help you but what would you have me do? Just in case I changed my mind."

"Gathering information would be a good start."

"That sounds innocent enough. What do you need to know?"

"Look, I do not have any real plan yet. I was not expecting to get out this early so I did not have time to craft an elaborate, multi-layered scheme."

"Then... I don't suppose you could give Blaze back until you're ready?"

"I am afraid it does not work that way. Your friend is quite finally dead."

Even if he is some sort of evil overlord he's got the same look which I remember from Blaze when he first set hoof to my office. Lost and having no idea what to do, even creatures of darkness need to stick together. A batpony isn't too different from a black alicorn and I don't feel like being alone right now.

"Hmmm... wanna go out tonight?" I ask.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, seeing as you have nowhere to go and no idea what to do and I really don't feel like going home, why don't we have a drink and do some brainstorming on how to make Blueballs pay?"

"You seem to have dealt with your loss rather quickly."

"I haven't dealt with anything yet, it just didn't really sink in. So... you up to the challenge?"

"I cannot go outside looking like this."

He looks similar to Blaze and that might be just because he was created from him but the size difference is not notable. I should have something that fits him in my office. The problem are the blackfire wings, mane and tail.

"Does that fire really burn?"

"Not if I do not want it to."

"Then I think I can help. Let me run out for a sec and grab a cloak or something, I promise not to tell any of the princesses that you're here."

Walking out of Blaze's office, I realize I must be stupid to consider causing trouble for princess Celestia for a reason shaky enough as it is. I really want the prince to choke on his own blood but what chance I have of Void keeping his word? He seems pleasant enough though and having and ancient demigod on my side might prove useful.

None of that will bring Blaze back. Deep down I know I will pay for this at some point but when I get to my office I just grab the least dusty cloak and go back to meet Void. If I have to pay for this then it will be after Blueblood or Rising Thunder pay as well.

"This one is my size but it should be comfortable for you too," I give him the cloak.

"I must admit this body is way smaller than the one I am used to."

I realize I've never seen a male alicorn before.

"How big are you really?"

"To relate that to you let us just say I am about a head taller than Celestia and vastly more... expansive."

The first thing that comes to mind is somepony of such size spread on my bed with me on top.

Damn my libido.

"Wow, that's some size," I whistle at the image.


	33. Shadow Of Death: Evening

[Choking's Entry]

Should I really do this? Maybe I could ask Sharpie for advice.

No. All he would say is that putting myself in danger like this is pointless and won't change what has already happened.

[End Entry]

* * *

With his wings covered by brown robe, Void looks just like a normal unicorn in the evening shadows with only his golden eyes bringing attenton to him.

"This body has got its advantages. Ponies will not be overly suspicious anywhere we decide to go," comments Void on his new clothes.

"Speaking of which, where do you want to go?"

"I believe I shall let you decide the matter as all taverns I remember are gone."

"Didn't you gain Blaze's memories after eating him?"

"I did not eat anypony and neither did I inherit Blazing Light's memories. I just know a bit from being inside him and being a good judge of situation and character. Also I spent more than a millenium locked in Tartarus watching the world develop and you cannot imagine how boring that is."

"Alright then. Let's go to the Lucky Horseshoe. It should be open and nopony will bother us. Can you teleport us there like you did coming here?"

"For various reasons I cannot. We will have to take the scenic route through Canterlot."

"I though something like this would be easy for somepony tough enough to challenge Celestia."

"Unfortunately, I did not get affected only by your friend's body structure. His lack of ability to use magic is also holding me back and who knows what else is going to show up so I definitely am not able to challenge Celestia at the moment but your comment gave me an idea."

"But you teleported here?"

"And that was a very risky move. You see, if I use either what little magic I can or any of my natural abilities I risk getting traced by Celestia, Luna or others which is a thing I cannot deal with right now."

"Okay okay. Let's just go."

His wings burst through the cloak without damaging it in any way, magic is wonderful in some ways I guess. Hidden by the encroaching darkness of the coming night, we fly out of the castle and stay unnoticed until we descend towards the Lucky Horseshoe. Standing in front of the badly lit sign almost imperceptible in the alley, our only risk of being spotted is a pony throwing up behind an old dumpster and he is obviously occupied.

"Lovely place," snorts Void, taking in the decrepit atmosphere around the joint.

"Well we could go and visit The Gilded Hall where all the amazing upstart citizens such as prince Blueblood, Fancy Pants and both princesses like to have their dinner."

I gotta admit his snobbish approach is kinda annoying. I can get over the 'I am ancient and infinitely wiser than thou' speech pattern but this is my favourite bar so he can just shut up. My sarcasm apparently works because he doesn't bother answering and opens the door.

A fat but menacing bouncer blocks our path towards the counter.

"Hello ladies, are you sure this is the right place for your kind?" he rumbles.

Void looks around with an expression of 'certainly not' and then turns back to the bouncer. Apparently the lack of magic isn't the only thing he inherited from Blaze and the soft features of his face can cause comments, or jokes. Even Blaze wasn't one to take those comments lightly so I just wave at the bouncer to catch his attention. Turning my joint into a smoldering crater isn't my idea of a good evening.

"It's me Brick and 'he' is here with me."

Brick smiles, revealing a mouth with more holes than teeth.

"Hey, Darky! You and your guests are always welcome, feel free to come in. Today's special is 'blind monk' so grab one while you can. Get one for your marefriend as well and she's gonna jump your bones later. Just kidding, just kidding," Brick puts up his forelegs in a defensive gesture. Despite his smaller size in comparison to the bouncer, Void is somehow capable of promising slow and painful death via a short glance.

We sit down at one of the tables. I personally prefer barstools but planning something unpleasantly similar to high treason might not be the best idea in front of a bartender. Speaking of which, an elderly unicorn levitates drink to our table and points to the corner of the room.

"The gentlecolt sitting at that table wishes to send you and your beautiful friend his regards."

"That's some wish, Archibald. Have you been eating a vocabulary sandwich?" I ask, surprised at Archie's unusually high-class speech.

Archie Bald, the old bartender smiles and drops the charade.

"Been readin' Fifty Shades of Neigh, Darky. Guessed some of those classy ladies might appreciate bit of style in ol' dusty bag o' bones like me."

My jaw drops when Void decides to solve this one.

"To my knowledge, mister Archibald, there is no highborne lady that would not swoon over the eloquence you are presenting. Please be so kind and extend our gratitude to the gentlecolt who sent us these delightful beverages."

That'a bit too much for a novice wordsmith like Archie but even he is able to decipher Void's surprisingly sincere and pleasant tone. Our stares lock and we both look at Void who downs an entire glass of Blind Monk in one gulp, expecting his head to explode. Void grins when he sees the gaping holes where our mouths used to be.

"I may not look like it but I am certainly the toughest kind of stallion you will ever meet. Do not worry though, my words about high class ladies were completely sincere. Another Blind Monk please."

"Y-yes, sir."

Archie leaves, afraid that his old heart might not make it through another shock. At the moment I feel exactly the same.

"That was unexpectedly... nice of you," I say carefully.

"What do you mean?"

"I just thought that somepony intent on killing princess Celestia who speaks like a scholar textbook would be a total nutcase."

"I have never said I was going to kill Celestia."

"Then what do you want with her?"

"Let us say that teaching her a lesson she will not forget might suffice."

"That doesn't sound too ambitious."

"She does not age. Having her remember something forever is not an easy feat."

The proper term for a pony would be scarred for life and I can't even begin to imagine what would have to happen to scar an immortal in such way. Void doesn't seem inclined to start another topic by himself so when the silence becomes slightly too uncomfortable I decide to satisfy my curiosity.

"How many alicorns are there anyway?"

"There used to be quite a few of us but most have already left this world."

"Dead?"

"Some are, in a sense, others just... left."

"Sorry if I stirred bad memories."

"It is fine. One thing an immortal learns unpleasantly early is coping with loss."

The thoughts blaming me for Blaze's death come back when he says that and I realize again that my revenge will probably just hurt countless others.

And it will still not bring Blaze back.

Void puts his hooves over mine.

"It will get better with time," he says with a sad smile. He knows what I'm thinking about.

"I don't want to just forget him. You said he loved me but I can't say the same... and he died because of me. I'm a horrible pony. I just used him most of the time without giving anything back."

"Blazing Light decided to do all he did by himself and that is why he died, do not assume the world revolves around you. Now let me ask you a question - do you think Blazing Light was stupid?"

"No. He was way smarter than me and a good judge of character... except for himself."

"Then how do you think you managed to manipulate him?"

"I-he let me?"

"Yes. He said himself that every time you'd, as you say, used him was the happiest time of his life because he believed he was needed and still he managed to lie to himself that you were just a friend to him."

Trying not to begin sobbing gets harder and harded with each of Void's words.

"Why?"

"He was absolutely certain that he didn't deserve you even as an acquaintance."

With my face in my hooves, I just hear Archie refilling our glasses.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You asked."

"Couldn't you have lied to me?"

"As I have told you before - I am many things but not a liar, mostly because truth is so much more interesting."

"Tell me one thing then, mister infinitely experienced. Would we have made a good couple?"

"That is uncertain but I know his type. They usually end up either alone or with some type of ice queen who controls their every breath and treats them like dirt which reinforces their conviction that they are world's trash and deserve whatever misery they get. Blazing Light was that type."

His analysis is the only thing I've heard him say in a different tone than his eternally calm one.

"So... no hope at all?"

"There is always hope. Sometimes these ponies find a partner who truly loves them but that still does not mean smooth sailing. Their self-hate can transfer to the other and bring out the abusive side from one of them as those who do not believe in themselves cannot believe in others. Then there is the possibility that even with a good partner, the insecure one might find it impossible to fight through it and their partner will leave them eventually because nopony can have endless patience."

"That doesn't sound good."

"It is not good. That kind of problem is not a one to be dealt with easily. I have seen some of these situations end well though. If they love one another and manage to work through their fears then their reward is a partner for life who genuinely loves them and will stay with them as long as fate allows it."

His dreamy, inwards smile spreads a bit of warmth in me when I notice.

"Speaking from experience?" I ask the alicorn.

"Partially. I DO have a past as well."

"Oh?"

"Nothing. Another Blind Monk?"

"Sure. No idea what Archie puts into it but it's not bad for a coctail."

To my surprise, it's not Archie who arrives with our next round of drinks but a muscular earthpony I don't know, probably not one of the regulars. His attention is fixed on Void who blinks under the assault of alcohol crystalizing on the earthpony's breath turning the flame of the candle on our table blue.

"Hey 'miss'. So I've heard you're the toughest around, care to make a bet?" asks the earthpony and hiccups.

Void just roll his eyes.

"No, but I guess that is insignificant to you. What do you want?"

"Just a little bit of hoof wrestling among us 'stallions'."

"I see no harm in that. What about the bet?"

"Oh right. If you lose, then we have here a nice outfit for a missy like you which you'll have to wear until Archie closes this place tonight."

I facehoof. Time to hide under the table and wait for the world to end in a huge explosion.

"Alright, but if I win you pay for all our drinks. AND you will be waiting on ponies in said costume," Void accepts the challenge.

"You're on! Come with me and we'll start."

Thankful for Void's self-control I just keep sitting at our table when they leave. His words gave me some closure I sort of needed. Who am I kidding? I desperately needed that. Still, I might not be thinking clearly and painting Blaze as some kind of hero to myself... or I missed a chance of a lifetime.

Doesn't matter now, does it?

"CELESTIA'S GAPING PLOTHOLE!" is a shout that pierces my alcohol fueled thoughts. A chant begins before I can see what's going on.

"PUT IT ON! PUT IT ON!"

Turning to the source of happy cheering, I snicker at the sight of Void putting on a maid outfit. His deep voice really doesn't belong in it. Thankfully, the drunks don't seem to have a problem with his blackfire accessories.

"You are going to get pasted by the most adorable tough guy you will ever meet," is the threat of the black-burning male alicorn maid.


	34. Shadow Of Death: Home

[Choking's Entry]

Void seems like a pretty nice guy but somepony who made princess Celestia tremble might be too difficult to assess for now. At least he helped get my mind offa Blaze, the bad things I mean.

I liked the way things were with Blaze but I should have opened up to him more while I still had the chance. I had two damn years to tell him he was more than just a casual friend.

Damn my imagination running away again.

[End Entry]

* * *

The hoof wrestling is over almost as soon as it starts. The burly earthpony manages to hold off Void for staggering three seconds before his hoof slams into the table and leaves a visible dent. Staying true to his word, the earthpony points at the costume currently being worn by Void. A physical victory is not enough for the alicorn though.

"Oh let me just show the costume to my friend there or if you really want to wear it that much then I will take it off immediately of course," Void grins victoriously.

I watch in amazement as the earthpony blushes and the entire group around him keeps watching Void as he walks back to me with his rump swaying from side to side and tail flicking around.

"You... wait... what?"

"I thought it would be a great idea to get into the spirit of things and show those gentlecolts not to underestimate somepony they do not know."

"You won?"

"Do not sound so surprised. Your friend's body was well trained and I am no weakling as well."

"Alright but why the sexy walk? I mean you do look really good in a strange way but aren't you getting a little bit too much into it?"

"You mean the fact that most of those so veeeery big guys involuntarily thought 'I'd tap that' about a stallion who has just beaten them in their test?"

"You are soooooo nasty," I begin smiling and watch Void take the outfit off and bring it back to the earthpony while still swaying from side to side albeit much less noticeably.

"I cannot pay for our drinks but it seems I will not have to so feel free to enjoy yourself."

"I think I'm fine for tonight. Do you have anywhere to go?"

"I was thinking about Blazing's apartment but then I realized I did not have the keys."

"You can stay at my place. I don't feel like being alone."

"A half-smashed mare on the hardest rebound possible is inviting me to her home, how could I resist?"

"Don't get the wrong idea, I just feel like having some company around. If you don't keep your hooves to yourself I'll smack you so hard you'll long for the days of being locked in Tartarus."

"Sounds fair. Let us go then."

Flying at night over Canterlot is always an amazing sight. The glow from torches, firefly lamps and even electric ones makes the city feel like a campfire which just burst out with the sparks represented by pegasi carrying their own light sources around. The lively bustling of the city is all thanks to princess Celestia and I'm thinking about doing something to her. I don't know what but I doubt it can end well. Perhaps revenge isn't the way to go. I could ask Void what he thinks about it but somehow I just don't feel right doing so. He isn't very chatty but tends to turn into a flying encyclopedia when asked something.

I yawn but my apartment building is close and we finally open the door of what looks like a bomb-testing facility. My usual companions don't care much about the mess at my place but Void makes me self-conscious.

"I-eh didn't have time to clean up much," I blush a bit.

"Be calm, earthquake relief should have this place done in no time."

Well at least he didn't sneer. I take off my armor and throw it on a heap at the door.

"Pfff. You can put the cloak there as well. Hungry?"

"A bit," he says nervously but his rumbling stomach betrays him. I guess one doesn't get fed well in Tartarus and running around the city entire day trying to avoid the attention of royal sisters must have drained him.

I've never bothered learning to cook but sandwiches are no problem and I'm done quickly with the kitchen.

"Dig in, mister Evil!" I say, coming out with a plate full of wannabe dinner and interrupting Void looking exploringly at one of my raunchier Vinyl Scratch posters. Maybe being locked away for thousand years in Tartarus left him unsatisfied in more aspects than just empty stomach.

He really doesn't have to keep staring at the plate. Do my sandwiches look that bad?

"I'm not much of a cook but you don't have to be scared of eating my food or I might take it personally."

"Phowry," he crams almost an entire piece of bread in his mouth.

"No big deal. Say, how powerful you alicorns are anyway? I mean we ponies think you are almost godlike but seeing you here is no different from any other visitor I had."

Void swallows.

"We are much stronger than even most earthponies but the difference is not so great however every single one of us is bound to some natural or mental force which we can use to an extent impossible with just using magic. Then there is magic itself, knowledge of which comes with our unaging nature but still varies depending on our inherent affinity for it."

"So what's your superpower? I mean what are you alicorn of?"

"Our names mirror our nature just like it is for other ponies. Celestia embodies the sun, Luna the moon, Zephyr is pretty obvious and Cadence is the only one that doesn't fit because she embodies an innate force rather than a natural one. There is also the alicorn of lust called Scream, I hope I do not have to explain further about her. My name is Void so you can guess."

"Hmmmm. Emptiness? Nothingness? Darkness? Are you the alicorn of my wallet?"

"Do not tell me you have money problems, even Blazing Light was well off considering his drinking habit and lower rank compared to you."

"Pfff it's easy to save money by not doing anything fun ever. What are you then? Nothing other than my head after a night of partying fits your desription."

Void hesitates.

"I am the alicorn of death."

"Whoa, so if you died we would all be immortal?"

"No, the natural order would continue as if nothing happened and I would eventually reappear. You see, killing an alicorn is impossible so you can only temporarily limit one's ability to affect the world and if one decides to... leave then another one will eventually be born."

"How old are you guys?" I ask, realizing the gravity of Void's statement.

"I cannot tell you that as it is too far away to remember. I do not even remember being too young. We may all have been created by Discord or any other ancient god along with this world just as a way to pass time. Or something completely different."

"Aren't you angry to be just something's pawn?"

"Not really, things just are what they are and I have the freedom to change them if I so please... usually."

"Then is your quarrel with Celestia just a way to pass some time?"

"Mostly, but I would also like to make her pay for throwing me to Tartarus and give her a valuable lesson she had given to the rest of us long time ago without understanding it herself."

"Cryptic bullshit mode engaged. Can you dumb it down to my level?"

"Me. Celestia. Big no-no. Spanking imminent."

"Ha ha ha," I pout a bit.

"It was impossible to resist. The truth is... hmmm. Have you ever read the legend of Nightmare Moon?"

"As a daughter to the leaders of Cult of Luna I can say I had it beaten into my head."

"Well then. Luna got to the stage when she wanted somepony to share her beautiful night with and the only real audience were Celestia's ponies so sooner or later she used force to make them appreciate it. That happened to all of us but Celestia helped us get through it... one way or the other. She, however, had nopony to help her in that stage but she did not consider it necessary because all ponies loved her for the gift of sun."

"That doesn't seem so bad."

"Have you ever thought about what would happen if you decided to disobey her, if you did not agree with the direction her utopia is going? The worst thing an alicorn of the night did was to bring the darkness. The alicorn of the sun would be able to fry everypony alive if she got mad."

"Oh... then what did the others do when they went crazy?"

"Not everything was such a disaster as it may seem. Zephyr started growing beans and became a fantastic chilli chef. Scream's influence was a bit more visible and mostly resulted in a massive babyboom and I suppose Cadence's will be similar."

It takes me a second but I grin went the meaning of Void's words dawns on me. He mirrors the grin.

"Magnus gave everypony the ability to use magic which proved to be devastating in the age when unicorns considered earthponies and pegasi just vermin. Those wars were terrible and it once again was Celestia who forced him to take their powers away to maintain 'peace'."

The hoof-quotes took their place like the clicking of a lock.

"And you started aimlessly killing ponies?"

"It is not difficult to guess, I did not think of it that way at the time though. When I took in the amount of toil and suffering ponies needed to carve even the slightest bit of joy from their existence I decided to 'help ease their suffering' in the only way I knew how. Unlike with the others, Celestia did not bother with talking to me first and just sprung a trap that got me imprisoned forever. "

"But you're here now, right? And I hope your plan to trouble Celestia doesn't involve mass murder."

"I have had more than enough time to think about things and while at first I was furious, the time spent locked away able to only watch the world was enough to beat that out of me. As for your question - I am not here completely yet."

"What do you mean?" I ask. The food and alcohol are pushing me to bed but knowing whether to continue cooperating with Void or not is more important.

"I do not have my powers because the spell that brought me here only bound part of me to Blazing Light. My power still lies hidden within the depths of Tartarus and I need you to help me get it."

"How?"

"I do not know yet. Dimensional travel is completely out of our reach right now and getting past Cerberus is downright impossible."

"I wouldn't think that some oversized puppy would scare you."

"The dog itself is not a problem but whoever his master is has final say in who enters and who does not. And his master is-"

"Princess Celestia, am I right?"

"Exactly, so I am stuck right now but every problem correctly posed contains its own solution which I just have to find. In the meantime-"

"In the meantime we should get some rest. Let's hit the hay for tonight."

"Alright, do you have any pillows for this couch?"

"I think I could use a bedwarmer tonight, you got a problem with that?"

"Not really, just remember that if you feel something poking you it is my Rod of Destruction +3."

Apparently the death ponyfied is just a huge nerd.

I slip under the blanket and the feeling of warm body behind me makes waves of fatigue wash over me. I want more though. Turning around, I hug Void and bury my face in his chest.

"Good night," he says.

"G'nite," I mumble.

Finally, this terrible day is over.


	35. Shadow Of Death: Lovers

[Choking's Entry]

I think I'm getting involved in something real bad but I don't think I can get out anyway.

The dream made me want to help Void from more reasons than just revenge.

[End Entry]

* * *

We wake up standing at the mouth of a cave. The surroundings are blurry and I guess I'm dreaming.

"Oh shit!" curses Void and I can't believe I hear that from him.

"What's going on? Where are we?" I ask.

He ignores me.

"This is bad," he keeps staring at the cave.

Grabbing his head, I look deeply into his golden eyes to make him focus.

What. Is. This. Are you really here or are you a dream as well?"

That works and he looks at me.

"This is a different dimension, I am real, you are real and the owner is waiting for us inside this cave."

"You know who he is?"

"I have been here before."

"Can we get out?"

"No chance."

"Then I suppose we're going inside."

Void sighs deeply.

"I guess. Let us go but whatever happens stay close to me."

"Okay."

"I seriously mean it."

"Okay okay," I repeat, having no idea what could have made him so worried.

He takes a deep breath to bolster his courage and steps inside the cave, revealing that the cave entrace isn't just dark but a sheet of inky blackness which ripples as he passes through and I follow.

"Well that's unsettling," I comment on piles of pony bones scattered all around.

Focusing on the surroundings makes my eyes water and the dream dimension forces my attention elsewhere. The only clear things are the bleached skeletons and Void...

...who looks completely different. Now he looks how I imagined him when he told me about himself last evening. Over twice my height, majestic, wearing a color scheme of shades of black and spreading his massive blackfire wings. I wonder what cutie mark would an alicorn of death have but there is nothing on his rump. A chill runs up my spine and I begin shaking involuntarily, the presence of eternal emptiness so close to me is overwhelming. He looks at me and his glowing golden eyes full of unbridled power almost make my legs fail me but his deep voice is still the same and the blackfire wing which pats my back is softer than anything I've felt before.

"Come on, if we keep her waiting too long she might decide that we need a reminder."

"She?"

"This is a dimension Scream created when she wanted a place of peace and quiet."

"Uh huh," I mumble and the bones around us make me think about the price of breaking the peace and quiet of this place.

"Interior decorating was never her thing. I remember couples arguing forever about the color and shape of their kitchen curtains but when we happened to stumble on that problem neither one actually cared enough to buy them at all."

I don't have the time to comment on the connection between those two as we enter a big cavern filled with even more bones.

"Those are just decorations," I try to reassure myself.

I am horribly wrong.

A pony and an alicorn are standing in the middle of the cavern on a round, red carpet, locked in a slow, passionate kiss. As seconds drag on, the pony's skin begins turning to ash and slowly trailing away in a nonexistent wind leaving only his skeleton behind and when the act is over the alicorn pulls out her incredibly long tongue out of what used to be a living creature. I can't help thinking about how a final kiss from the alicorn of lust must have felt and even the second of attention makes my body hot.

Despite everything around me, I lock on Scream. She is a magnificent sight with her golden coat and gleaming, creamy platinum mane following the physics of dripping quicksilver, green eyes with slit irises and black streaks decorating her coat to make a pattern of armorplates I remember so well from my friend.

"She's a changeling?" I ask Void.

"No and stop staring," he hisses at me.

A laid back, seductive, velvety voice contradicts Void's answer.

"Stare as much as you like, I'll make sure you enjoy every second of it."

My body temperature rises few more degrees instantly and I hungrily obey Scream's proposal. Feasting on every curve of the alicorn's body I notice that even with ponies normally not wearing clothes she seems more naked than others. I want to hear more of that intrusive voice resonate in my head, I want to bury my face between her hind legs and enjoy whatever I'm graciously given. I want to feel the long tongue explore the darkest depths of my own body.

Drooling, I take a step towards my golden goddess who looks hungrier than me.

A blackfire wing wraps around me and frees me from the trance of desire.

"Please stop that. I need her alive and retaining more than two brain cells," says Void and tilts his head.

"You're no fun," retorts Scream in a fake disappointment.

"Why did you summon us here?"

"My favorite pet somehow gets out from Tartarus and you expect me to ignore it?"

"Let me rephrase that then. How did you find me? I managed to hide from both Celestia and Luna."

"You were never good at stopping me from getting what I wanted. Remember the first time I took you from behind? You didn't want it then but soon you begged for-"

"Too much information, too much information," quickly interrupts Void, his black coat lacking the ability to cover his blushing. It takes me a while to understand but my subsequent giggling provokes a stormy gaze from Void and a wide smile from Scream.

"Alright. I've felt your presence since my spell bound your soul to the unicorn guard and I kinda wanted to see you again."

"Well I am here. So what now?"

Scream's amused expression disappears as she hears the coldness in Void's voice.

"Why are you so distant all of a sudden?" she asks.

"Well I know it has been a while so you might have forgotten but I spent ages in that cold place."

"I know about your family reunions but why are you pissed at me?"

"Yea fun all the way, you could never take things seriously. Was your helping Celestia send me to Tartarus also one of the little jokes you so liked to play on your 'favorite pet'?"

Uh oh. I notice the slow evolution of Scream's expression and the irresistible desire to be anywhere else than at Void's side loses only to the memory of what happened when I tried to leave him just a while ago.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL WRETCH! Celestia wanted to kill you for what you did to her dear pony project. Who do you think was the one to make her change her mind and persuade her to lock you up."

"THEN WHY DID YOU HELP HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"YOU WERE KILLING EVERYTHING. Is it so hard to understand? With Magnus and Chronos gone, there was nopony else powerful enough to stop you aside from me."

Void is just standing there after the outburst with tearing eyes, shaking. The alicorn has lost all his majesty in one swoop.

"Then... why did it take so long? Why did nopony even visit me? Why didn't YOU come?" he asks in a broken, weak voice.

To my surprise, the anger is all gone from Scream's voice and only pain remains.

"You think I didn't try? I BEGGED Celestia, I taught Luna to use her dream abilities, I taught Celestia most of the magic she knows and she still didn't allow it. I wanted you back more than anything but with Cerberus in the way it was impossible even for me and when I finally realized she was just using me I came back here."

"I am sorry. I did not know-" begins Void.

"Then you should have just shut up and been happy I covered your escape from Luna or did you really think that without any power you managed to do it yourself?"

"I-"

I nudge Void to the side. He might be wise and powerful but I'm the one who is known more for the quantity of her relationships rather than quality.

"Unless you continue 'am really sorry and will never do something this stupid ever again' we're going to die. Trust me," I whisper to him.

"I think I know her a bit better than you and I have seen thousands of years of pony relationships."

"And I have been through dozens of breakups so if you want to see another thousand years then you'll do what I said."

As Void ponders the situation I close my eyes in existential dread.

"-am really sorry and will never do something this stupid ever again," he finally says.

I breathe out but our little tangent isn't lost on Scream.

"Come here, girl."

My apprehensive glance at Void just makes him shrug.

"We are still alive so I doubt she is going to devour your soul unless you ask for it."

Afraid of losing control like last time, I begin walking hesitantly towards Scream. Her presence is still strong but not completely maddening this time. When I get close a sweet smell assails my nostrils and her green eyes make my mind go blank once again. Then the golden beauty hugs me and my shaking immediately stops, washed away by her heat. Memories of home, the calming voice of my mother and the time when I believed my life was going in the right direction fill my head and I end up with only one left... the night when my desire to meet prince Blueblood caused me to lose a pony who always listened when I needed it. I begin crying uncontrollably into Scream's coat. Void's words gave me the logical interpretation of things but all they did was just locking the pain away.

"I can bring him back," says Scream softly.

"Really?"

"I can do anything here. You can stay and spend the rest of your life together in a place I make for you."

True or not, it is tempting. Then I look at Void standing in the back and watching us, worried. He is in the world where most forces consider him an enemy and he is without any means of defending himself right now. Without my help he will end up locked away again and after watching him and Scream go at one another I'm not going to leave sompeony hanging for my own benefit... not again.

"Thanks for the offer but no. I don't want to live in a dream while somepony I know needs my help."

Scream smiles and raises an eyebrow.

"You think you can help the alicorn of death face others of his kind and worse things in any way?"

"If it weren't for me the almighty avatar of demise would have had no dinner tonight and slept on a heap of rocks somewhere instead of being hugged by a catch like me."

In trying to be smart I forget their relationship for a second but jealousy isn't a trait that would survive ages of switching partners. Scream points at Void with a commanding expression and follows her words by continuing the gesture.

"You. Here. Now."

Without a word, Void shuffles carefully towards us.

"Wow you're more whipped than Blaze was."

Void's angry retort is drowned in a burst of laughter from Scream.

"I've had enough time to teach my pet few tricks, isn't it right, love?"

In his new form, Void is massive even compared to Scream but his 'Yes, mistress' sounds like something rooted so deeply in his head that it's immediately apparent who the dominant one is. And Scream knows that full well.

"So what's your plan now, Voidie?" Scream asks.

The time to fight for one's dignity is over now.

"I want to get my body and powers back. Is there chance of you helping? I know you are the best at magic and the only expert on dimensional travel."

"You can stay here with me and your body."

"No. I still have some unfinished business with Celestia and I owe this girl her revenge against the ones who killed her coltfriend."

"He wasn't my-" I try to get a word in. It's just a reflex though.

"Yes yes we get it," comes from both alicorns.

Scream ponders our chances for a while.

"The revenge thing sounds fun and I can help with that but travelling to Tartarus is out of my reach with Celestia controlling the Cerberus. BUT... there are things happening which might make your access possible, also more dangerous that it would otherwise be."

I am the first to react.

"You can get Blueblood and Rising Thunder?"

"I sensed you are afraid of the prince when you came close and I'm offering you a chance at humiliating him. This is a dream realm where I can cause undue nighttime excitement for others so if you want prince Blueblood to be found night after night covered in white goo unable to walk properly thanks to swollen balls the size of watermelons then just say the word. Your earthpony sargeant buddy is somepony you can deal with yourself if you try hard enough. It might make me cross horns with Luna but what I wouldn't do for Voidie's friends."

"Thanks."

Void steps in impatiently.

"What were you saying about access to Tartarus?"

"There is one unicorn who can help you."

"Who?"

"Twilight Sparkle."

"I believe she has recently been 'promoted' by Celestia."

"Not that one. There is a second one who appeared during Nightmare Night and summoned you. If my guess is correct then if you persuade her to take you home with her, there might be a chance of getting into Tartarus from the other side where Celestia doesn't control Cerberus."

"What makes you think she will be willing to help us?"

"It's up to you to make her one way or the other."

"Thank you."

"Just come back here when you're done. I have my long rubber glove ready."

I start coughing violently at Void's nervous response.

"I will start stretching immediately."

My coughing turns to open laughter.

"And you can join or watch, girl. Whatever floats your boat," Scream winks at me.

Void's horrified but thoughtful expression becomes blurry as I slowly fade away and understand our audience is over.


	36. Shadow Of Death: Guidance

Scream watches the two visitors disappear from her world and then reclines on the closest pile of bones which reveal their couch-like properties. Reality has no place here and things are what the golden alicorn wants them to be.

She smiles to herself. Bringing Void back worked out well enough despite even the alicorn amulet and Neighcronomicon not having enough power to bring him back fully. At least one small worry disappears from her mind and she can focus on other important things. She summons another pony soul whose nighttime desire will sate her. Scream gives back as well as takes though, the ecstasy her victim will feel in the real world might make a mess in the bed but there never was anypony who complained.

The feeling of somepony entering her world without invitation makes her look at the entrance lazily.

A hooded, purple unicorn comes closer and reveals her face with two bleeding holes where eyes should be.

"That doesn't look healthy," comments Scream.

"Even with your amulet, the magic takes its toll," answers unicorn Twilight Sparkle.

"Why are you here then? I doubt we share the same interests regarding leisure time."

"Those travelling spells made by Star Swirl the Bearded are too limited in duration and even with the amulet I can't make them last much longer so I need you to teach me different magic."

"And if I refuse?"

"Nothing... I have no idea why you've been helping me up to now."

"Let's keep it that way. My abilities are however impossible for you to use with one exception. Would entering dreams be enough for you?"

"I don't know, it depends on what the king finds useful."

"This will have to suffice but teaching you will not be free this time. On top of which it might bring Luna's attention to you."

"I don't have anything and princess Luna is dead on our side."

"I forgot. Well, when two unusual companions ask for your help in travelling to the other side then help them, that's my price. Star Swirl's spell should be able to take them with you when you're going back. First things first though - has the Nightmare Night plan worked?"

"Yes, Celestia ordered to have the Elements of Harmony locked away in Canterlot treasury. The bearers are out of the way."

"Good. You know what to do."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. You can go home and tell your little crystal king that you've done his job again."

"Thank you."

Unicorn Twilight leaves and Scream is left alone to think about her next step. Her pawn is getting very powerful but still nowhere close enough despite all her help. Scream curses Celestia once again and her lack of responsibility which caused all this mess. With her most powerful allies - the original alicorns of magic and time lost, it is up to Scream to clean up.

And then there is always Void. He will do what she tells him but death is a fidgety force which might harm her efforts as well as help them. Scream thanks the heavens for a lucky spark causing the Element of Magic to reincarnate on this side of Equestria. If it weren't for that then everything would have been over long time ago. Unfortunately the Element is in the hooves of Celestia's apprentice who eats her every word and is too weak to make the neccessary difference.

Speaking of the devil, Scream's world allows one more intrusion, this time with her blessing.

Five ponies and three alicorns appear from nowhere. Two of the alicorns are unphased and walk towards the main couch-pile while the other visitors look in horror at the decorations. Scream grins to herself.

"Long time no see!" starts Scream cheerfully. There is no reason to act unfriendly from step one despite it being obvious the friendliness is one-sided.

"I'm here to ask some questions and the other are here so I don't have to repeat it later. What's your price?" asks princess Celestia.

"Ask away and I'll tell you if you ask something that requires payment."

"What do you know about Void's escape?"

"Very little," compared to good, old, honest Void, Scream has no problem with trivial matters like lying.

"Where is he now?"

"Still in Canterlot."

"How can we stop him?"

"Stop him from what?"

"You should know that better than anypony. I don't want his slaughter to continue."

"It's been a while. Perhaps he's cooled down."

"Massacre is what he exists for."

"You have no idea how wrong you are, have you?"

"I have a good memory and clear judgement while yours is clouded by your feelings."

"Say what you will, my only advice for you is to leave him alone. There is nothing you can do that would result in a positive outcome."

"I see you still haven't grown up and can't do the responsible thing."

Scream scowls. Is the fat cow really going to lecture her? Cool head is the only thing that can help her in this situation though.

"I can't grow up and think I'd retain my youthful complexion."

"I'm still waiting for the day you're able to take things seriously."

Hearing this twice in one day could test the patience of a saint.

"Get on with the questions, I'm not interested in having a chitchat," Scream rolls her eyes.

Celestia sighs in a manner of someone dealing with a stubborn child.

"Alright. Who was the impostor from Nightmare Night?"

"Twilight Sparkle from the other side."

"What does she want?"

What is the best way to put it?

"She wants the Element of Magic."

"Why?"

"If you want to know that then pay the price."

"What do you want?"

Scream looks around, trying to think of something completely impossible for Celestia to accept or something useful enough in case she actually agreed.

"I'm hungry and that brown earthpony in a cowboy hat looks fun," Scream finally decides. Taking out one of the Elements could give her the extra time she needs.

"No," replies Celestia immediately.

"No deal then."

"You can take me instead of her, for one night."

"How noble, get out!"

"So you're going to let all this happen and possibly cause the deaths of innocents."

"You really have no idea."

Celestia turns to the assembled group.

"Let's go. There is nothing more we can do here. I was foolish to think this would be useful."

Luna looks at Scream accusingly. She knows somepony was blocking her tracking attempts after Void's escape from castle gardens and there is only one being with such power. Scream doesn't bother denying anything and just beams at her widely. When everypony else disappears, Luna speaks out.

"Do you really believe Void won't start killing again?"

"Do you still desire to bring forth eternal night?"

"Oh..."

"Is it all?"

"I haven't told my sister about Void's visit here."

Luna must have gotten way better to be able to penetrate Scream's realm even briefly.

"Good girl, wanna cookie?"

"There's no reason to be nasty. I know I wasn't easy to deal with, I'm sorry for that and I want to offer you help."

The automatic reply of 'go buck yourself' sticks in Scream's throat though. As annoying as Luna used to be when she was young it was mostly thanks to being raised by Celestia who didn't trust other alicorns after witnessing their periods of insanity. Perhaps this is the time for Scream to let past be where it should and look into the future or she might end up like Celestia.

"Then keep an eye out for Void on my behalf, he's going to need every bit of help he can get. Bad things are coming and your sister isn't in the right frame of mind to deal with them."

"Can you tell me anything specific?"

"I don't really trust you so... no."

"I understand, see you later."

Celestia be damned, if Luna proves to be useful and trustworthy then...

... no more overthinking things.

Scream's golden horn glows pure black and a very happy pony appears before the pile of bones and begins climbing towards Scream to recieve his reward. The pent up energy in his body is released and when his skeleton drops on the ground Scream is just hoping Luna is watching her victim's wet dream and enjoying herself as well.


	37. From Bad To Worse: Back

[Blazing's Entry]

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

Eh... I guess, if I don't have a choice.

It's not as if I was planning something for tonight.

[End Entry]

* * *

The emptiness fades and is slowly replaced by darkness which in turn disappears when I open my eyes. Nothing hurts, in fact everything feels completely fine. My changeling regeneration? Hardly.

I'm standing in a cavern with bones lying around. Looking around curiously, I don't feel even the slightest pang of fear. Dying somehow gives pony a perspective on being scared for one's life.

Being angry is the correct term for my mood. Can't a soul find peace even after death? At this moment I'm hundred percent sure why all the zombies in movies are so annoyed.

"Greetings, my name is Scream and I have summoned you from the dark abyss to do my bidding," says what on first glance appears to be a golden alicorn.

Her beauty aside, I have only one thing on my mind.

"Hi, I'm Blazing Light and I don't give a crap. Send me back, I enjoyed being dead. No alarm clocks in sight."

Scream's attempt at mysticism to impress mortals fails miserably.

"What's there to enjoy?" she asks curiously.

"Finally I don't have to worry about making myself look like an ass aside from the blue face in the casket."

"Most ponies would love having another chance at living."

"Most ponies don't suck so badly the world is much better off without them in it. Aside from most politicians that is."

Scream smiles as if remembering something.

"Alright. Is there really nothing you desire?"

"Nah. I was a stain on my family name and a complete bastard to everyone just to keep them away from me. In the end I got really lucky to have had a chance at finally being useful to somepony without them having to be uncomfortable thinking they owed me something."

As I say it I realize I would give anything for things to go back to normal.

"You might be surprised but she was sad to see you go."

"And she'll get over it. There are tons of ponies who'd love to be her friends."

"That might not be true for long. A conflict is coming to Equestria which will put her in danger and you have a place in it. On a sidenote though - you are probably the first pony who isn't drooling with desire in my presence. Do you not find me beautiful?"

She is the living incarnation of everything that makes my blood boil and look for tickets for a southern vacation but me and mares don't go well together. It's not about orientation, it's about being close to somepony.

"Lady, there is no possible way in Tartarus you would even think about me in that way so why should I bother with wild fantasies?"

"You're mean. Also, completely wrong," she fakes being hurt.

"Don't even try the 'hurt puppy' look. Chokey kept using it on me every single time she wanted something," I deflect her attempt completely. Alicorn or not, I'm more than used to her type.

The hurt puppy look graduates into the sodomized kitten one.

"I bet it worked every single time," she smiles victoriously.

She bets right but there still is something known as going down fighting.

"Can't you find somepony more useful? I think everything including trees falls into this category."

"Nope. Can't repeat the spell anyway so you are my only hope, brave defender of Equestria."

I've always believed that heroes are born but being forced into their roles by manipulative mares suddenly comes as a more logical conclusion. Still, I need to get my anger out on somepony, at least a bit. I say something which would have been much more effective if the mare I was talking to wasn't the alicorn of lust.

"Blow me!"

Scream just smiles hungrily and licks her lips.

"I knew we would come to an understanding."

Her predatory expression is enough for me to take few steps back and realize my mistake.

"Eeeeh... maybe later? Say, how's the weather here? I mean... what do you actually want from me?"

"Awww. You make me so hot and don't even accept responsibility?"

"I'm not really sure... umm I don't think I can help with that. I'm not really that experienced with... technical issues. I can get you a pizza delivery colt if you want... ehm?" I grasp for the only scenarios I know from magazines.

In growing panic I almost fail to notice Scream's amused, amazed expression turning into real hunger. I continue with my trail of thought.

"Or a plumber... say, how are the pipes in this place? I know a good-"

The reality blurs and I am now wearing a set of overalls complete with a fully equipped toolbelt. Scream's ravenously hungry expression and changeling-like sharp teeth work like a cold shower and I'm not sure I could get my equipment working even with the help those special pills I kept getting mail about. She spreads her legs.

"Pipes need some serious cleaning. NOW!"

Being thrown into an area known to me even less than quantum physics feels crazy but others manage to do this without any special training, right?

I lean in between her legs and an unfamiliar but not unpleasant smell reaches me and brings with it the images of sweat, spices and expensive parfume. I breathe in and involuntarily shake half in panic, half in...

... nope, just panic.

Less breathing. Less breathing! Alright, what are the chances of me being the worst mate she's ever had? Hundred percent! Logically...

Not that high? Good. Now calm down and prepare the battle stations.

WAITWAITWAITWAIT! What if I am the worst?

She will kill me, oh wait... ummmm. BOO!

What?

Startled by my own head I open my eyes and realize my nose is almost touching the wet treasure trove and my ears are burning not only from embarrassment but from Scream's legs grinding them slowly. The point of no return is here so... maybe just a bit?

For the first time since my ressurrection I put my mouth to good use.

Having no idea about passing time, I keep going on until her soft moan sends shivers down my spine and she gently pushes me away.

Well I ballzed that up. Now she's mad.

"I think I have to let you go otherwise I might be tempted to keep you here forever," breathes out Scream and closes her eyes, enjoying the last quakes of her body.

"Huh?"

"See you soon."

Confused, I look at Scream breathing slowly with her eyes closed and then everything blurs.

I'm standing in my grey apartment with sticky fluid dripping from my nose. On instinct, I go to the bathroom to wash my face and Scream's scent is replaced by the lingering smell of Rotgut which is so close to me.

To my surprise and horror, I don't feel the slightest bit of desire to pop open a bottle. Is it possible that I won't need to drink ever again? I grin to myself at that insane idea and take stock of my surroundings.

To the rest of the world I'm dead, no big change there. Unfortunately my, let's say, saviour was too preoccupied with her nether regions to tell me what she wanted from me. The problem is that I have no way of contacting her and I have no idea how long I was away.

I'm hungry, that is the clearest thing on my mind. The plan is then to withdraw some money from the bank and then eat the entire selection of Donut Joe's shop. I push the door of my apartment and slam my face into it when it fails to open.

Ooooh kay? Trapped in a cold, empty, third-floor apartment? Perhaps some drink really will be useful. This time I have a good reason for opening my storage closet and taking out one bottle of a very expensive, sweet wine. I drink the usual spot-removers because of my mood but these bottles are something I was saving for a special occasion. I think this counts as one and also they work as a good source of energy for the body.

I forget the effect of sweet wine on a completely, literally, empty stomach and just one glass is enough to make me crawl into the bed, snuggle my Spitfire body pillow (don't judge me, they are really comfortable!) and slip into the darkness disregarding the new day dawning on the other side of the window.


	38. From Bad To Worse: Takeover

[Choking's Entry]

Zzzz Zzzz Zzzz.

[End Entry]

* * *

Morning light leaves me half-awake without the interference of an alarm clock. Snuggling a warm, fuzzy, body pillow going up and down in regular intervals I circle my hind legs around it as well.

... since when do I have one? Isn't that the thing some desperately lonely souls buy to feel warm at night? It smells nice though, a bit natural but nice nonetheless so I just hug it tighter. I don't remember buying one but perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea.

The pillow snorts. Did I break it somehow? To test the idea I press it hard with all the strength in my waking muscles. The pillow begins coughing violently and reality trickles back to my world.

"Sorry," I apologize to the 'pillow'.

"No problem. You have no idea what I had to survive with Scream," the deep voice stops after realizing his mind may have been still in a different place.

"Mind sharing?"

"You have met her and seen how changing she can be. Let us just say that a random mood swing was dangerous in bed and leave it at that."

"Oooh whips and such?"

"Replace whips with bolts of lightning and fire, mind control spells and... well yes, whips and you get the idea," remembers Void, probably fondly.

"That sounds crazy even to me."

"Maybe so but it still was worth every second."

"You're really just a stallion after all."

"And you are just a filly compared to me."

"Sorry, granddad."

"I am going to spank you, missy."

"I heard that's a special treatment at the Buckingham Palace but you have to pay the whorses extra. I like you though so you might get it for free if you're real nice," I remember the best dress-up club in Canterlot.

"You are as bad as Scream."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Please do not, one of her is enough."

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"

As the alarm clock begins its morning routine we both react at once.

"Crap."

"May your soul suffer in eternal darkness!"

The alarm clock explodes in a burst of black flame. I look at Void but he seems more shocked than me, he also has his smaller form back. Too bad, I might have taken a vacation if he was in his real one.

"Well, you can be grumpy in the morning," I say as he looks at his hooves in disbelief.

"I-I did not think I would be able to do something like that this soon."

"After a night with me all stallions feel powerful."

"Do not start that again."

"Aww c'mon. Make a lady feel appreciated."

"I suppose there is a reason for setting up that alarm clock or are you just a masochist?"

"Maybe a bit of both, wanna experiment?"

"Alarm clock, girl. Alarm clock."

"Oh right!" I blink few times and run to the bathroom while Void just slams himself back on the bed.

That's a good thing because I don't have to bother with making breakfast and I can just buy something at the castle cantine. The taste of menthol toothpaste in my mouth is refreshing and washes away worries about Void's power. The immortals aren't really the most stable creatures and finding my apartment sucked into deep space or filled with tentacles is something one has to worry about. I can't do much about it though and the toothbrush in my hooves reminds me of Blazing's deranged expression last morning. A night's worth of sleep makes that memory more funny than sad and I remain positive despite seeing black sparks flying through my apartment as I leave.

The first thing to do is to take care of Blaze's recruits.

Breakfast...

Or that. I head to the castle, passing the time by messing with staring citizens. Three years after princess Luna's return and ponies still freak out when seeing a batpony. A smile here, a wave there and even the bravest avert their gaze from my beauty. Just kidding, my exotic nature usually makes my seduction attempts easier or more difficult depending on my target's tastes.

A friendly wave from a white earthpony invites me to his table at the cantine and I go there as soon as I grab my morning coffee and fresh sandwiches.

"Good morning, ma'am," greets me Heavy Hoof.

"Mfwning, Hwoof," I mumble with my mouth full of daisies and bread.

"I can wait."

I just gesture him to continue with one hoof and shove another sandwich in my mouth with the other.

"Alright. Blazing Light wasn't at yesterday's evening training session and when I asked Rising Thunder about him he just told me to ask you. Did something happen?"

I gulp down too fast and almost choke on the mouthful.

"You mean you haven't heard?"

"Haven't heard what?" asks Heavy Hoof suspiciously.

"Blaze was executed yesterday morning for a murder attempt on prince Blueblood."

"Whaaaaa?" this high pitched half-screech is most uncharacteristic from the lumbering earthpony and would be incredibly funny if the thing causing it wasn't so depressing.

"I really don't want to go into the details. Sorry, Hoof."

"But how... why?"

"Don't ask, just don't even ask."

I'm happy he doesn't press the issue. Blaze was a hero to him and I'm pretty sure he had a small crush on him.

"Hmmm... what should we do about his group of newbies then?" Heavy focuses on the business at hoof.

"I'll practice with them."

"No offense, but you are terrible at fighting and there is very little you could teach a unicorn."

I look at him through narrow eyes but he's right. Compared to drill sargeant like him, my overall skill level is questionable. I've been practicing hoof-to-hoof combat with Blaze for years though.

"I could teach them unarmed combat and basics with other weapons, would that be enough?"

"Possibly but you're risking their failure at the finals and your possible demotion so it's really just up to you."

"Wow. Your trust in me is really amazing."

"I'm sorry if it sounded too harsh but truth be told you've never been good with weapons. That's why Blazing taught you unarmed combat."

Completely wrong but the point stands.

"Then... are you free this morning?"

"I can shove my group on Rising Thunder's shoulders if necessary. Why?"

"I'd like you to evaluate my skills in any way you like and tell me if they are enough not to make the recruits fail later."

"You're on, cupcake."

"Hmmm?"

"I mean - Of course, commander!"

"Just kidding. Love ya, Hoof!" I say with a smile and leave. I suddenly have too much to do and too little time.

I'm going to need every little help I can get so I begin stretching and warming up in the castle gym before I have to go to the morning training session. I'm not stupid enough to think I can actually beat Heavy but all I have to do is to impress him enough. Technically, he has no say in whatever I can or can't do but he knows the requirements for recruits way better than me so while I want to do something connecting me to Blaze I also want to keep my job. There is a lot of batponies around, unwinding after shifts, and I wave at few familiar faces but nopony is in the mood to talk so I just find a free spot to practice and a free sandbag.

_Alright. Let's start with the basics._

Hearing Blaze's voice in my head relaxes me this time instead of being upsetting. I remember the good old times of us training under the night sky, getting ready to teach Valiant Charge a lesson.

_Stand on your hind legs. It's easier than you think... I'll be behind you to help you keep balance._

I stand up with my forelegs in a defensive position in front of my chest. What would surprise most inexperienced ponies is the fact that just standing and balancing is much more difficult than moving and swinging my weight around.

_Now slowly... SLOWLY move your foreleg to an imaginary enemy's chest._

I punch the air several times in succession and turn around for a roundhouse kick which ends with me swaying and trying not to fall. Being extremely agile gives me an advantage but I'm small and the difference in raw power between me and an armed earthpony warrior is just too high.

_It's about power only when you make it that way. You are small but still strong enough to strike a spot where the movement comes from and break the enemy's balance._

I randomly jump around on all fours and with the last jump I buck the sandbag hard with my hind legs just like earthponies do with fruit trees.

_Try to hit the enemy in the chest. If you go for the head you risk breaking your bones or chipping a hoof by not hitting right because the skull is surprisingly tough._

Once again in a balancing position I punch the air, this time way lower than before, aiming for where the chest of a standing enemy would be.

_And if all else fails, go for the eyes, kneecaps, crotch... anything soft, crunchy or painful. We are not wrestlers, and we fight to survive a surprise attack or deal with a disorderly and possibly armed enemy. Honor has no place in such fight._

I jump in an attempt to get around an invisible enemy to get him from behind. To make it a bit flashy I attempt few kicks to the imaginary knees in the process.

_In the worst case just run and don't look back. Shame is easier to survive than shattered spine._

I probably should have asked Heavy to practice with me first to get back into things. That way I might have had a chance at not getting dumpstered horribly.

_Don't think about the fight, you are fast enough to trust your reflexes and instincts. I'm much slower so planning and thinking is my thing. And never assume an enemy is unbeatable, most ponies have no idea what an unarmed fighter can do._

Too bad Heavy Hoof isn't one of those ponies. He's always been interested in anything new and when we used to practice with Blazing he's often been there to watch. Still, his progress didn't get past boxing and he should have had no chance to practice unless Blazing has been training him after Heavy's promotion in which case I am basically screwed no matter what I do.

The other gym users snicker as they watch me spin and twirl but eventually I'm done and go to my office to put on my official armor. Then I have to explain to the recruits why Blaze won't be there anymore and get smashed by a big, scary earthpony... in rainbow socks, if he decides to make things interesting.

I tilt my head few times for the picture of princess Cadence to change back and forth.

"Guess you're getting screwed pretty hard, eh? Well, same goes for me."

Completely unprepared, I set course for the training grounds.

The recruits were happy about the unexpected free evening, I suppose, but I don't think I remember Blaze ever not being at the practice session. Even when sick he was there to give tips while coughing and sneezing. My and Heavy's presence almost makes them swallow their tongues in anticipation.

Showtime.

"Recruits! Thanks to the absence of sargeant Blazing Light I will be the one to work with you today and sargeant Hoof is here to learn some advanced techniques as well."

I look at him and stick my tongue out. He stays silent and just smiles back at me.

Uh oh.

"What happened to sarge?" comes from one of the unicorns. I remember the joker who was running around as a punishment for his 'whipped' remark.

"The drug thing has been cleared up but thanks to unforseen circumstances he can't be here right now."

"When is he coming back, ma'am?"

"I... don't know."

Heavy Hoof notices the small pause as well as the uncorns and is there to help.

"Silence, recruits! Sargeant Light can't be here at the moment and that's it, so your training falls to commander Darkness because we have no unicorn trainer available now. That of course means your magic training and sword combat will not continue which shouldn't be a big deal since you're fresh and can't fight yet anyway. To deal with that, commander Darkness will be here to teach you standard things necessary for a guard to keep him in good shape as well as some hoof-to-hoof combat. Since this is a special circumstance you can freely chose to learn spear and staff combat from me or sargeant Thunder. With enough training you might make decent earthponies when your time here is over."

The main concern of the unicorns is directed at me even after Heavy's interruption.

"Is it actually possible to go unarmed against somepony with weapons?"

"It is possible and very effective but it's been a while since my last practice so Heavy Hoof here is going to help me with a little demonstration. If I go down too hard then you can easily switch to some other trainer so you don't have to worry about failing the combat part of your finals, I will not hold it against you."

"Shall we, then?" asks Heavy, already holding his staff.

"Right."

I have no clue what to expect of him but one thing is certain - he won't go easy on me.

I feign a step forward and have to immediately draw my leg back when one end of the staff swings through the space where my hoof would have been. Seeing an opening, I move and punch forward inflicting a terrible amount of pain to the air where Heavy's been just a fraction of second earlier. My amateur-ish punch was avoided just by leaning slightly and next short swing of the ground end of the staff changes my vertical position into a very horizontal one.

"Ooof, you've gotten better, cheater!" I whine, picking myself up from the ground.

"Just a bit. Another round?"

I have no idea what to do. Heavy is slower than me but keeps using short, bursty moves which take such small amount of time that my speed is useless. I'm just wasting too much time waving my limbs ineffectively. The element of surprise might work here.

A flurry of blows hits Heavy's face when I jump towards him instantly and follow the assault with a low kick to the back of his knee and an another one aimed at his crotch which fails, blocked by his staff. The staff gets kicked away and I watch Heavy kiss the ground. While the damage I actually did is minimal, the short incapacitation would be enough in a normal fight to finish the enemy off so this round is mine.

"That wasn't bad but if it was Blazing Light I would have been looking for my teeth in Rising Thunder's practice area," huffs Heavy Hoof heavily.

"I just don't like my sargeants sipping lunch through a straw."

"Oh really, how do you feel about sipping commanders though?" Heavy smiles widely and lets out a little taunt.

It's time to apply Blaze's 'fair combat sucks' rule because against serious Heavy I know I don't stand a chance so I close the gap between us with one jump, land on my front hooves, turn my entire body around in one wide swing and buck upwards with my hind legs.

It works... in a way. His staff quickly trips my front legs mid jump and I end up with my mouth hitting the ground first. The rest of the move finishes though and my hind legs connect with Heavy's head which unfortunately pushes my face deeper into the dirt.

The recruits begin laughing when they see me sitting on the ground spitting dirt around and trying to empty my mouth with my hooves. The laughing gradually disperses when they, and I, notice the earthpony three times my size bleeding heavily from his entire face and stumbling around.

Even my full body blow isn't enough to break his will though and he recovers quickly. His attack comes in a form of a fit of laughter.

"You... look... ridiculous! Missed breakfast?"

"Bleeeeeeeah, I give up. Without more real practice I can't beat you and I'm not hungry enough to continue," I admit.

"It wasn't that bad though. Still, I wouldn't advise you to teach these guys unless you want them to be excellent lawn-mowers."

I just look down at the ground when he says that. I failed.

He adds a small lifeboat when he sees my reaction.

"Or you can look through Blazing's things in his apartment in case he's got the instruction books and magazines still stashed somewhere. Whatever you choose, you have my approval."

"Real?"

"Yeah. You may be small and physically weak but that kick made me see stars inside Luna's room. Don't teach the unicorns that though, I really don't want to see recruits lined up with their horns stuck in the ground."

I grin at the image and, still sitting, turn to the recruits.

"Soooo... does anypony want to join after seeing me get horribly mauled?"

They all do, if only for the amusement value, which cheers me up immensely and heeding Heavy's advice I begin doing standard exercises with 'my' new group.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

"Okay guys, we're done for now. I don't know if I'll be able to make it this afternoon so if you end up here alone just repeat what we' did but twice with longer breaks. See ya later."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am."

They really are a disciplined bunch when they want to. Blaze did an excellent job.

There is one more duty waiting for me and I'm not sure I can do it. I have to tell Blaze's family about his death. I go through his personal file.

"32 Solaris Street, Manehatten."

Further look at the file sends shivers down my spine as I get to the names of Blazing's parents. Even I know those... from my parents.

"Blinding Light, leader of the Order of Silver Sun and a well-known unicorn supremacist. Well, he can't be as bad as dad said, right?"

"Mother... mother... Precious Gift. That one also rings a bell."

It does. While not as respected as her husband, Precious gift is a known earthpony historian and one of very few civillians with full access to the royal Canterlot library.

"Wow how did you guys make somepony like Blaze?"

The final listed family member is one I've actually met, well... seen, before. Searing Light, Blaze's older brother, is a renowned soldier serving directly under prince Shining Armor now in the Crystal Empire. Also, on my hotness scale, he is just a short step behind the prince himself. Somehow the image of Blaze doesn't fit with the others, was he adopted or something? Well, that doesn't matter now, does it? Still, I don't want to get in contact with Blinding Light unprepared so I decide to just visit Blaze's aparment to look for some martial arts manuals and then ask Void whether he has any tips on dealing with a batpony-hating, highborne, Celestia-worshipping fanatic.


	39. From Bad To Worse: Revenge

[Blazing's Entry]

Thinking you've lost everything changes a pony. Whether in a good or bad way I have yet to find out.

What to do?

[End Entry]

* * *

I wake up in the dark with a minor headache, unwilling to leave the bed despite rumbling stomach. Being raised from the dead by mysterious and slightly distracted Scream didn't make much sense but what is the worst thing she could do in case I fail her somehow? Freedom like this feels strange. Do I have to find a new job? Does it matter if there really is some huge conflict coming to Equestria?

In short, I'm really hungry and bored.

Blueblood's face appears from the darkness. I can't do that... can I?

Why not? Having some fun and teaching Blueblood a lesson he will remember for the rest of his life should kill some time. I've patrolled fancy parts of Canterlot often enough to know his habits but I would have to make it look like a mugging attempt. If he somehow suspects it to be connected with Choking then I will have to kill him.

On the other hoof, once again, what's the worst thing that could happen? I would be just doing something I was already executed for.

My autopilot kicks in and I go brush my teeth. Hiding myself behind toxic clouds might be an interesting ability but I don't feel like disobeying my routine. The messed up visage in the mirror is my usual unicorn-changeling face but the reflection is glowing in a strange, purple shimmer. The source eventually proves to be a set of some runes scribbled on my chest and circling my legs. My only guess is that Scream somehow remade my body and summoned my soul to inhabit it. Unfortunately the only thing it means is that as soon as I need to be sneaky I find myself turned into a walking lamp.

It's not a huge problem though and I rummage through my drawer to find a dark green cloak, the best color for nighttime invisibility.

Protection?

The effort of changing the toughness of my skin makes me gasp for breath. I desperately need food, both for my changeling side and my normal one. With not enough energy to use my hooves as hammers I put on my set of combat, I mean educational, horseshoes.

Jumping out of the window is not an option so I just use the hard pieces of metal on my hooves to unlock my door piece by piece. Leaving the building, I tell the landlord to get the door repaired and pay him with some bits I had stashed in my apartment. Worried about being seen by other guards, I put my hood on and find the closest food stand.

With the Gilded Hall being my destination, there is a lot of ground to cover but the only thing counting against me is time. It can't have been too long since my death because the landlord didn't seem surprised in the slightest by my presence. With gusto rivaling a hungry dragon in a pile of rubies I eat my freshly bought sandwiches while planning how to get to Blueblood.

If my guess is correct then Blueblood will arrive at the Gilded Hall pretty soon for his evening routine and his carriage will be parked in the private parking-lot behind the estabilishment and will be guarded by his two personal guards. Not a big deal, I can dish out enough pain to deal with his minions and probably thanks to being ex-dead I have much less of a problem with it. I will have to take out the guards silently and at the right time.

This might turn into a huge mistake if by some chance I fail. He will turn on Choking and even if I cripple him permanently it won't change my life back to the way it was and I won't even be able to say I'm innocent anymore.

_Does being innocent really matter? Has it ever helped before?_

You again, back to bother me?

_No, but we are one._

Black and white, written on my ass. Well, I've always believed that while being a screw-up I wasn't evil.

_Wasn't it just fear of failing that caused you not to ever do anything? Being good isn't something achieved by not doing bad but by doing good despite unexpected outcomes from time to time._

There was never a reason to argue with myself. I have to act an accept the consequences.

_So, what do you WANT to do?_

The answer is there and all doubts from before disappear. I will pay for my actions but I want to crush all bones in Blueblood's body. I want to see him squirm in pain and puke blood and there is nothing stopping me anymore.

With the exception of a chain fence protecting the parking lot and an elderly guard sitting inside a booth watching the only entrance. The security in Canterlot is a joke compared to Canterlot castle and even that is significantly lacking.

Feeling confidence for the first time in my life I crawl under the guard's field of view and enter the dim area full of carriages, looking for Blueblood's. He's either not coming today or it's too early. Hidden by my dark-green cloak I meld into the shadows and watch the entrance to the lot myself.

It isn't too long before two unicorns pulling a golden-blue carriage decorated by Blueblood's twin star pattern enter, drive into a free parking space and let the prince out. They step into the shadows themselves and leave only two red dots as they begin smoking. It's not allowed to let ponies stay here but Blueblood and rules don't go well together.

According to experience, Blueblood's dinners usually average about one hour differing only in case he meets somepony interesting. I have no way to measure time though and I can't just come and knock out the guards, they might wake up too early and cause commotion.

I've spent enough time on patrols to know how long I take to finish my vanilla cigarette though. It's risky but without it I'll either miss my chance or go too soon. In the end I just light one and calm down for a while, watching the carriage.

My final allowed cigarette runs out signaling that the hour is almost over, if my guesstimate was correct. I begin sneaking through unlit parts of the area to get to my target.

"Do you smell it?" comes from one of the guards.

Crap. Smoking too many vanillas at once to measure time has a side-effect, an expected one though.

The other guard turns to the one I'm behind and sees me, ready to strike.

"Behind you!"

Ignoring the turning guard I jump straight at the one who spotted me and send him to sleep with a well aimed blow powered by steel on my hoof and kick back with both hind legs which clangs on the other guard's armor. The surprise is enough for me to take him out as well within seconds and I drag both unconscious bodies to the shadows.

It doesn't take long and the prince enters the parking lot, unescorted.

_Just a little closer, Blueballs._

Lacking the presence of his guards or a presence of mind to fight back, prince Blueblood doesn't even shout when I jump at him, knock him on the ground and take off my hood.

"Remember me, Blueballs?"

"What.. How... GUAR-!"

His scream is stopped abruptly when I, ready for it, shove my hoof into Blueblood's mouth. To prevent him biting back, I twist it forcefully a split second after. Blueblood apparently wasn't going to do so and something in his unsuspecting mouth snaps when his jaw muscles fail to react. I realize that when only a muffled squeal comes out and dies almost instantly.

"Make a sound, you little bitch. Just. A. Sound."

Whether in fear, shock or anger, Blueblood is shaking but still looking silently at me.

"I said make a sound!" I growl angrily and jump at Blueblood's front leg forcing a crack and another sqeal.

It's obvious Blueblood has no idea what's going on. He saw me die but my desire to make him understand why all this is happening disappeared when I first saw his smug face again. I break his other foreleg with a happy smile and in one fluid motion I stomp at both his hind legs, shattering bones again.

One thing has to be said for him though, he is enough of a stallion not to give me the satisfaction of screaming and just watches me with tears streaming down his face. Or it's just shock, I don't know.

_You can kill him, nopony will suspect anything._

No. He will suffer more this way. With bones shattered enough, he will be happy if he ends up limping for the rest of his life. And one last little gift...

"If anything happens to my friend who you know so well... Let's just say that I've come back from the dead once already and I have nothing to lose. I hope I'll NEVER have to see you again, Blueballs."

I spit on the body on the ground and kick him in the ribs just to hear another cracking sound and then coughing interwoven with painful groans as Blueblood begins twitching again.

A memory of Choking in a slightly torn dress shaking by the library window returns. What I've done until now still isn't enough. Positioning myself with pinpoint precision I look at Blueblood's crotch and crush one of his testicles, shutting the prince down completely in a pool of his own vomit.

The fun is over.

"Goodbye, Blueball," I just sneer at his destroyed body.

One more place to go. One grey coat to turn red.

I grin.


	40. From Bad To Worse: Preparations

[Choking's Entry]

Writing an official letter of Blaze's death was something I've never even imagined I would have to do. With weekend rapidly approaching, I'm thinking of taking a day off and going to Manehatten on Sunday so I can find his home and offer my condolences.

Thank Celestia it's Friday and Blaze's recruits are so good that I can leave them to their evening lessons just with directions and go to Blaze's place to find what I need.

[End Entry]

* * *

Ignoring the evening lesson, I can finally go explore Blaze's place and try to find something which would give me pointers for my combat skills. After all, Blaze learned everything from magazines so why couldn't I?

My weapon proficiency is awful. It's not a problem that I'm fairly small and weak compared to specialists. Mares usually overcome that obstacle by having custom weapons made for them as soon as possible but I have a moral problem with swords especially, one caused by Blaze. Weapons give you power, right? What if you are somepony who doesn't have the discipline to use them? You get free power and gain an advantage over a pony infinitely better than you. Coming from Blaze, this was something almost ironic as his mental stability was something even I had to question from time to time. The irony was even stronger thanks to him being an excellent swordspony.

I miss him...

"Thieves?"

When the broken door of Blaze's apartment stands in front of me I jump inside, ready to inflict suffering on anypony inside. It's obvious pretty soon that there isn't anypony inside unless they are under the bed or hanging outside the window, with both possibilites being fairly unlikely.

Looking around, I notice a freshly open bottle of wine next to the bed. It's a pretty expensive brand as far as I can tell. Most of my coltfriends usually had something else on their mind when in my apartment so my wine-tasting experience is a bit limited in that area. I still take a sip, just out of curiosity.

It tastes amazing and its sweetness, strength and penetrating smell lingers in my nose long after I gulp down the rest of the glass.

"Who knew Blaze had this good taste? I don't remember him drinking anything other than that glorified washing-up liquid."

Deciding to take the bottle home in case I don't find anything useful here, I go through his things. The bed looks used but the mess gives no clue exactly when. The Spitfire pillow catches my eye and out of sheer curiosity I lay on the bed and cuddle it a bit, it's still warm. The appeal of buying such thing is still lost on me but I probably don't meet the 'desperate loner' criteria. Reaching under the bed I pull out few almost unused Playcolt magazines.

"Damn, even mine are in worse shape than these."

My attention turns towards the bathroom but there is nothing except some vaseline, general hygiene products and a toothbrush lying in the middle of the sink. Wait... didn't Blaze break his last time I was here?

"Hmph..."

Something feels strange but there is nothing of value here anyway so I turn to the last room of the apartment which is a small storage closet. There isn't much aside from a box with spare pieces of cloth, blankets and other household supplies. The only interesting thing is something looking like a rubber elephant trunk and the reason for having vaseline in the bathroom is clear immediately.

"That's kinda big even for me and I thought I was used to a lot of things."

A small crate containing the mags I was looking for and some books about griffon grandmasters from a temple somewhere eventually appear and I pick up as many as I can before leaving the storage. Seeing the door from the inside I notice something a casual observer might miss, a wine rack filled with bottles even I've heard of before. They usually came up in very expensive conversations.

"This is... treasure."

But I can't just take this, can I? I mean Blaze won't need it again but there must be thousands of bits worth of the stuff. At least it explains where his spare money went. In the end I just take my official yellow-black tape and seal the apartment entrance, telling the landlord to take it down after the door is repaired.

I head home. Nothing in the apartment helped me in gathering courage needed to face Blaze's parents.

Billowing black fog greets me when I open the door of my place.

"Please no!" I yell, half suprised and half annoyed.

The fog disappears instantly and leaves only Void's figure standing in the middle of the living room.

"Greetings!" he waves at me cheerfully.

"What was that?" I ask, still looking around.

"Just a little experiment regarding my reawakening powers."

"Can you please leave it for today? I just want to go to bed, I'm dying."

"Then I might have a welcome surprise for you in the kitchen," he says and gestures to the open door with a small nod.

A dinner is waiting there for me, something I'm not really used to. It looks... fancy and it's obvious that Void spent a lot of time preparing it but I'm too hungry and tired so I can't even savour the taste.

As my belly fills up, my head empties and finally I just collapse on the bed and the last thing I feel are Void's legs wrapping around me when he gets under the blanket few short minutes after.

Saturday morning comes and brings with it my most liked day of the week. I have enough time to sleep and sleep and sleep, then grab some drinks with friends and finish the day with my hooves wrapped around some adventurous colt. There is nothing of that sort today and the sensation of a warm. fuzzy pillow next to me doesn't surprise me anymore and I just huddle closer to it and enjoy every second of warmth and peace it can give. My attention is requited as Void hugs me tight and mumbles quietly:

"I could get used to waking up like this again."

"Yea. It makes me think I'm ready for a serious relationship," I reply half-jokingly with the key part being 'half'.

"Well I would be okay with it but Scream might be a bit jealous and decide to be serious as well for once."

Thank Luna for his gentle refusal to my unfortunate comment.

"I wouldn't want to be there when it happens."

"Do not worry, she would find you anyway and grant you the most pleasant end possible."

"Tempting, tempting. Almost as tempting as a breakfast. Do you want some sandwiches?"

"I will take care of that, freeloading has never really been my thing."

"Oh right, thanks for the dinner yesterday, it was fantastic... a bit cold though."

"I am not much of a cook but I think that was your own fault," replies Void with fake hurt expression.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it. I usually eat out or just order something. I've never actually had food like that here... most of my visitors have different things in mind."

With amusement, Void pretends to look under the blanket and whistles.

"I can see that."

I blush and pull the covers up to my neck. Then it hits me, he's joking. Somehow it just felt a bit different... perhaps something I want as well? It's easy to laugh it off though, Scream's punishment for any inappropriate actions would result in really interesting ways of pleasure and pain for both of us.

I remember one concern from yesterday.

"Jokes aside, how would you deal with somepony who hates you for completely no obvious reason?"

"Are they dangerous?"

"Possibly."

"Wipe them out from existence."

Some things are much easier for the alicorn of death compared to a simple batpony.

"I don't think that's the possibility here. See, I have to bring the news of Blaze's death to his parents and his father kinda hates batponies."

"Why, has he met you before?"

"Very funny. No, he's just a crazy unicorn leader of the Order of Silver Sun, a bunch of fanatics so crazy about Celestia even she doesn't like them."

"Silver Sun, is he colorblind?"

"Heh no, it's just that they revere Celestia so much that they don't dare compare themselves to the real sun, it's really stupid."

"You seem to know a lot about them."

"They were in direct opposition to the Cult of Luna, surely I don't have to tell you why."

"Nightmare Moon, right?"

"Yea. On top of that they hate batponies in general and Blinding Light is the worst."

"Blazing Light's father, I suppose?"

"Yea. Soooo... got any tips on dealing with him?"

"Is it important that he likes you?"

"No."

"Then just saying that Blazing Light died in the course of his duty should be enough."

"I would kinda like to know why Blaze was the way he was."

"Alright then. Firstly - remember that everything he is saying makes sense to him even if you do not understand. Secondly - do not judge. It will only make him less inclined to talk to you. Thirdly - grow a horn, bleach your coat and saw off your wings."

"I think I'll stick to the first two."

"Good idea."

"Thanks, I think I'll take the breakfast offer now."

"Let me have a look at what is there available in the kitchen."

"You really are a well-trained pet," I taunt and smile apologetically when I realize that this time I've really gone too far.

He sighs and changes his direction towards the bathroom. I just fall back on the bed and doze off, I'm really not a morning pony.

A still frowning Void wakes me up with a nudge accompanied by a smell of fresh coffee and-

"Am I so irresistible that you have to start drooling whenever you see me or is it just your uncontrollable libido?" he tries to make a joke but the bitterness in his voice is still clear.

I immediately know jokes aren't the way to go now. The last thing somepony with nothing left in this world has is his pride and I hurt that. A memory of some old coltfriend who was into dominance stuff comes to mind. The experience left me standing in rubber outfit and a whip in my teeth with a blushing pony who never wanted to see me again.

"I-it's the breakfast, it smells pretty great," I just admit.

"More like a lunch, you have slept for few hours and I had to go shopping anyway, there were some bits in a bag by the door."

"Oh no, my vacation fund!" I scream in horror which causes Void to look around nervously. It is almost too easy to make the avatar of Death uncomfortable and regain control of the situation.

"Just kidding, sorry if I've gone too far. I really enjoy having you around no matter the circumstances."

Void's expression thaws a little.

"The food is in the kitchen. I will stay here and keep trying to find out how much of my power can this body handle."

"You're not going to eat?"

"I have already had a bite."

Seeing that time is the best solution to the emerging rift between us, I don't try to press Void further and just go to the kitchen where the enticing smell of coffee was coming from.

"Holy... !"

A beautifully laid table is waiting for me filled with cups of coffee, water, servings of sugar and milk and every little thing imaginable including sugarcube thongs which I'm not even aware of having. The food, however, puts all that to shame as plates filled with spaced cabbage leaves, white and black bread, daisies, carrots and a variety of flowers and vegetables I don't recognize forcibly resume my drooling.

With pinpoint accuracy and piggish greed I begin devouring the parts of my brunch I can identify and love, then only the identifiable parts remain and I butcher the ranks of those as well. In the end only the unknown parts remain and thanks to being completely spent after yesterday I'm not averse to broadening my culinary horizons.

Unfortunately, due to my panic about recruits yesterday I've completely forgotten the official letter about Blazing's demise in the castle. The closer to the departure I am the more my hope to find both Blazing's parents evaporates however.

"Calm down, what can realistically happen? They're gonna cry a bit and then you'll leave. With the bad news, Blinding Light probably won't even notice you're a batpony."

With a sigh, I leave the emptied table and go to the living room where I put on my silver armor and all the official regalia. Even if I'm not on duty I will need them for things to look as official as possible to make Blazing's parents feel better.

Unwilling to break Void's concentration in the next room, I just leave without saying anything believing time will help more than anything now. Maybe I could buy him something nice?


	41. From Bad To Worse: Memory

[Blazing's Entry]

Contrary to what I've always been told, vengeance isn't that bad. It really leaves one unsatisfied but at least I know Blueblood is enough of a coward not to risk repeating his mistakes.

All this being said, I want my old life back. It's not going to happen but I still want it.

[End Entry]

* * *

In new situations, pony mind is drawn to familiarities and so is mine after yesterday. That is the reason why my head is sticking to a table glued by my own drool. As confusing as the moment would have been to somepony else, it's nothing new to me as most of my mornings begin like this.

"Wake up, mister!"

"Mrmmfrgh."

A nudge to my shoulder is supposed to help me register my surroundings.

"Wake up!"

My mind snaps back to reality with unusual ease considering that in my bloodthirsty revelation yesterday I stumbled upon one familiar bar which I knew would be open and inviting, the Lucky Horseshoe. Also considering the effect Archibald's cocktails had on ponies.

"I'm awake, I'm awake," I blink at Archie.

"Good, for a second I though I'd have ta splash some water at ya."

"Sorry, Archie."

"No biggie, ya ok?"

"I'm fine. I'm actually surprised you let me sleep here tonight."

"Ya know, guards don't usually make trouble even when drunk as a skunk and any friend of Darky deserves a bit of special attention."

"Is Choking okay?"

"Yeah, she's been here some two-three days ago with her new coltfriend."

_Well, she got over getting you killed quickly._

"New coltfriend?"

"Strange, black guy. Looks a tad feminine if ya ask me, kinda like you, no offense, but he's strong like an ox and talks like a school textbook."

"Really deep voice?"

"Yeah, ya know 'im?"

I grin to myself.

_So... Void is alive and kicking. What's he doing with Chokey though, using her or something?_

My grin freezes at the possibilities of what a Tartarus demon could be doing with a defenseless batpony.

"I've met him few times. Were they... friendly with each other?"

"They were drinking a lot but it didn't do much, musta messed up the batch that time. Some guys challenged the black unicorn to hoof wrestling and got beaten horribly. Oh right and the big guy who challenged him was here the whole evening in a maid costume."

"What? Wait, nevermind, I don't even want to know."

"Well that's it. They just talked a tad and left pretty early. Speaking of which..."

"Yea, I'll be going now Archie, sorry and thanks."

"No problem. Have a nice weekend."

_Hmmm. Chokey is in the company of a demon who may or may not be holding her hostage although drinking together isn't really a clue. Gotta look into it._

What to do in case I find out he's hostile though? Flail at him wildly for a second before he wipes the floor with me?

_Know about any weapons capable of harming a magical creature?_

Well yeah... nonononono.

_Why not?_

I really don't like where this is going but there is a set of weapons perfectly suited for me which fulfill the requirements of being magical... well, not exactly, maybe precisely the opposite.

Not knowing whether to smile or tremble in terror my future reveals itself. But I have to do it, just to make sure Choking isn't in danger because of me.

"BREAKING NEWS! PRINCE BLUEBLOOD IN A HOSPITAL AFTER AN ATTACK! ROYAL GUARD IS STUMPED!"

The promotional chant catches my attention and I buy a copy of the Canterlot Herald. Apparently Blueblood talked only about ghosts and completely forgot my name. I also find out I've been dead only for a day.

There is something I really need to do right now though. Since the castle would be almost empty during the weekened I need to recover my things, namely some weapons and my diary.

The chances of meeting somepony there are pretty slim as most of the guards are out and there is nothing which would make recruits spend their free time in the castle as well. All I have to do is to get to my office and grab the things since that's where I think they were brought after my imprisonment.

The door is locked. How that could have happened is beyond me but I would be a pretty poor guard if I had no idea how to get to my own office at any point in time. Positioning my neck below the doorhandle, I push up and hit the lock in just the right way causing it to click open. Arming myself and hiding the diary in my saddlebags I look around just in case I forgot something.

_Huh, Choking's pep pills? Those might come in handy._

I swipe the bottle, just in case a situation comes up where I need to use both swords and move. Time to go.

_Rising Thunder._

Or not. I'm sure he isn't at the castle at the moment but I have no idea where he lives.

_Choking's office hosts some personal files, getting inside will be a problem though._

It isn't. I guess I'm just naturally lucky.

_Yeah, right. Stars themselves must be helping you here. It's nice being on the right path for once._

Choking's never been a very organized pony but despite the chaos inside I eventually find Rising Thunder's personal file.

I'm ready.

_Really?_

Of course not. To find one of the weapons needed to complete the pair neccessary to harm a magical, demonic or divine creature I need to visit the ponies who were tasked to guard it from any influence. The Sword of Light, Solar Blade, Sun Stab-thingy and other names have been assigned to the weapon given to the Order of the Silver Sun for safekeeping.

I have to go home... for Chokey, to stand against anypony between me and my goal.

* * *

Lost in memories, the ride back to Manehatten doesn't seem as long as it really is to me.

I could navigate the angular streets in my sleep and it doesn't take long to see a three-story mansion where I spent my entire colthood.

"Ding dong"

The ringtone at the door summons an older pony in a tuxedo whose eyes widen as he sees me.

"Mister Light, I am so happy to-" his greeting is cut short when I knock him out. There is very little danger. Most servants have a day off on Sunday.

"Sorry, Stones."

He will be okay, Brazen Stones is much tougher than his age would suggest.

I can still go back. There is no way this can end well. But what do I have to return to?

No... one last service, one last concern to deal with and then I can get hung again.

_Hanged. Hung would be the other thing._

Breathe in, breathe out. Even after walking the short distance through the main hall my legs are shaking and my mouth is dry.

_You're not a little colt anymore._

Compared to him I am.

_There is nothing left for you._

Without further delay I open the door to the living room.

An adult unicorn much bigger than me is sitting in a chair reading in sunlight coming from a nearby window. I don't know where to begin but my father takes charge and spares me the effort.

"I thought I told you I didn't want to see you again."

In a still shaky voice I reply.

"I-I'm here for the sword."

The unicorn calmly puts his book down and stands up. Despite visible signs of age he is considerably muscular and his size combined with the length of his horn revealing his overwhelming magical power almost makes my legs fail me.

Almost... for the first time in my life.

I'm not breaking down. I'm not cowering. I'm standing in awe of everything that makes this ex-mercenary such a menacing presence.

Even age can't mask his shiny white coat and golden mane. He looks godlike compared to grubby me. A guy who married into nobility and forced others to respect him through his raw willpower and strength of his conviction.

"Still a pussy, just as I remember. And here was me thinking the world would make something out of you," he looks down at me.

My shaking stops. I've been in this situation way too many times to be scared. This is what I've been secretly training my martial arts for despite not wanting this time to come. While terrified of Valiant Charge I was still practicing in case this day would come.

And despite my physical change he doesn't even flinch.

"You have no idea," I say coldly.

"And I don't care. Get out before I deal with you."

"Give me the sword and I won't hurt you."

"Hurt me?" Blinding Light starts laughing.

At that moment the door behind me slams open and something hits me from behind.


	42. From Bad To Worse: Emptiness

[Choking's Entry]

I've never been to Manehatten before but the place is huge. That's all there is to it. It isn't as beautiful as Canterlot. It isn't as interesting as Canterlot. It's just big and full of ponies.

I'm on the way back to Canterlot now, confused.

... and a bit happy?

[End Entry]

* * *

Nopony tries to stop me as I walk through the almost deserted Canterlot castle and go to my office to get the official letter about Blaze's death. The posters inside always calm me down with humor or pure sense of epicness. The Two Steps From Tartarus poster does the trick this time and I rummage through the mess on my table for the condolences letter and then turn to leave.

Something feels off. Finally I find what made my alarm go off and read the name on a forgotten personal file - Rising Thunder. A sense of unknown and confusion sends cold sweat down my spine.

"That can't be right," I say to the empty air, deeply in thought.

It doesn't really stop the growing suspicion though. Blaze's apartment with broken door, new used toothbrush and a fresh bottle of a very expensive wine which is now at my place all point to one thing which is impossible. Just in case, I look up Rising Thunder's address in his file... just in case.

In case of what? I've been there. The proof of his death is sitting in my apartment. What do I expect? There must be a logical explanation such as ghosts, zombies or something, right? The important thing is not to jump to crazy conclusions fueled by my guilt. With clearer mind and the letter in my bag I leave for Canterlot train station.

"PRINCE BLUEBLOOD BRUTALLY ATTACKED, BLAMES GHOSTS. ROYAL GUARD HAS NO CLUES ON HIS ATTACKER."

I freeze when I hear the salespony's voice and, eyes widening, turn towards the news stand.

"One Canterlot Herald, please."

"Here you go, miss. That'll be five bits."

Producing the coins, I just keep staring at the main page with the image of brutalized Blueblood. For a second I feel sorry for him but then I remember what he did and all compassion disappears immediately leaving only hate. I fly through the article.

"Two royal guards knocked unconscious, unhurt aside from slight concussion. Yesterday evening. Broken legs, dislocated jaw, heavy bruising, crushed royal jewels? No hoofprints. Weapon used... weapon used... small, steel blunt instrument - possibly a combat horseshoe. Attacker is supposed to be a ghost because the prince kept screaming 'a ghost, a ghost' and waking up from artificially induced sleep. Ghost because he says 'ghost', how dumb can journalists be?"

I can't blame them too much because I have to admit what's going through my head doesn't make much sense either. The clues point to something impossible.

To Manehatten. Note to self - talk to Void about afterlife when I come back.

* * *

The big city is very organized and even an outsider like me has no problem finding my way around and my guard armor assures the cooperation of locals despite me being a batpony. Or maybe this not being a fortress of the sun like Canterlot just means they have no problem with me. When the style of buildings changes into gleaming, decorated mansions with spacious lawns protected by all-natural hedges I guess I'm in the right neighborhood and at last there is a three-story building with polished wooden door adorned with ivory unicorns at both sides in front of me.

The door is slightly open. In any other mansion I would have guessed this to be an overlook by a gardener or something but with recent events I decide to just enter and talk my way out of things in case I get blamed for breaking in. My pushing the door leaves me with no reward. I push more and feel something behind the door slip away. With my whole body working the door I push once again and the unmoving pony behind it changes position. It's some kind of servant with his tuxedo screaming 'butler' even to me slumped in front of it.

Angry voices from somewhere make me creep through the entrance hall towards their source.

"Give me the sword and I won't hurt you," says a muffled voice from behind the almost closed door.

A robbery then... I rush in and charge the pony in dark green cloak.

The pony reacts fast enough and kicks me to the side, breaking my balance and using my momentum to throw me hard at the wall. The armor and helmet protect me from the impact knocking me out but I still can't move and everything is buzzing around.

Both unicorns ignore me and I blink, trying to see the large white unicorn who is probably Blaze's father and the smaller, bronze one whose coat, on a second look, isn't a coat but some kind of bronze.. shiny... armor?

Blaze's sword flies out and points at the decorative weapon rack hanging on the wall and then at his father.

"It's enchanted so only you can pick it up... while you're alive. Do it or you're dead."

"You DARE threaten your own blood?!" shouts Blinding with unbridled fury.

"You disowned me, remember? Now GIVE ME THE BUCKING SWORD!"

"No. Get out you scum!"

Blaze's pained scream with no coherent thought in it is aimed at the obstacle in front of him. Two horns glow and two swords fly through the air at shocking speeds. One is a standard guard issue sword and the other one is a shining silvery weapon of greater size.

Both attempts work... unfortunately.

The ebony-handled greatsword pierces Blaze through his armor, impaling him to the floor. The oncoming coughing of blood makes me bite my lips.

Blaze's attempt is successful as well though.

Hearing angry voices and shouting, Precious Gift entered the room and, realizing the danger threatening her husband, jumped in front of him. Her smaller size just assured the sword aimed at her husband's chest went through her neck leaving no hope of survival etched in red letters on the carpet.

Blinding Light's knees give up but he still manages to catch his wife mid-fall and just looks questioningly at his son. Blaze is in no position to answer though, the pool of blood under him indicates that there will be no more talking... ever.

"You are dead, maniac," growls Blinding Light.

Leaving the magic sword keeping Blaze pinned in place he picks up the sword previously aimed at him.

"Heh. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAA-"

Another coughing fit interrupts Blaze's mad laughter.

"What's so funny, you little bitch?"

I'm only able to watch as Blaze inches his way up the greatsword and eventually with glowing horn manages to pull it out of himself, all that while laughing.

"Where's the second sword?" asks Blaze with the silver sword replacing the old one in his sheath and slicing it open in the process.

Blinding Light is paralyzed by the sight as well. Looking at the body of his wife, the only thing he manages to whisper is:

"The Cult of Luna in Canterlot."

"I-" begins Blaze.

"No matter what she's always loved you, no matter what piece of shit you were, no matter your constant failures and no matter you being gay trash. I hope you've got everything you wanted... never come here again."

With that he collapses on the ground and begins crying uncontrollably.

Seeing his father break down, Blaze just keeps opening and closing his mouth.

"Blaze?" I groan, still on the floor.

He notices me and the horror in his face grows even more. With tears streaming down his cheeks he runs outside.

I'm still dizzy and coordinating my legs takes too much effort but in the end I get up and walk to Blinding Light. I have some idea about the differences between those two now but I still find it hard to hate Blaze despite seeing his father crying over a body of his dead mother. Perhaps a small white lie would help?

"The guard will get him," I say to the unicorn, hoping for it not to be the case.

To Blinding Light I don't exist. Remembering the personal file in my office and Blaze's question I know I have to get back to Canterlot as fast as possible.

"The Cult of Luna and Rising Thunder's home. Please, princesses, let me get there in time."

I run back to the train station as fast as my wobbly legs allow me and hope I catch the same train as Blaze. Looking for him there would be too dangerous though so I'll just have to make my move back in Canterlot.


	43. From Bad To Worse: Twisting

[Blazing's Entry]

I know I've said before that an entry would be my last one but this time I have the means and the courage. The record isn't in my favor but with how I messed things up there is no other way out.

Chokey was safe all along, in a sense. I didn't need to do anything but my meddling caused only pain.

With both swords at my disposal and their magic dampening ability even my spellcrafted body won't last long.

I have almost ruined three families but her interference saved two of them.

If there is a hero then it's her.

Unfortunately it will take some time for the swords to work so after I impaled myself to the cave floor I found out that after the excruciating pain comes even deeper boredom.

I almost killed HER family. I came to the Cult of Luna completely unaware that it was run by her parents but thankfully it didn't turn out that bad.

Well now even she wouldn't be able to forgive me but that doesn't matter. I bought a ticket to Ponyville and took the road to the Everfree forest where I found the cave I'm now lying in.

Sometimes you can't just make things right. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on.

My duty is over. Chokey is safe.

[End Entry]

* * *

Sitting on the train from Manehatten to Canterlot, I rest as much as possible and crunch some sweets so I have the energy to beat Void in case he proves dangerous. One part of my plan is complete - I have the artefact from my home and I know where the other of the pair is.

Blades of Balance, a poetic name given to the pair of weapons crafted as a result of Star Swirl the Bearded's experiments with the Elements of Harmony. As the story goes, he discovered that there is actually ten Elements instead of the known five but the others are somewhere else. It makes sense, only a fool would think that harmony is maintained only by good aspects. In fact, pure good is as far from balance as possible, at least that's what my common sense hints at. The theory is that each Element has got its counterpart aside from the Element of Magic which he tried to balance out by research and experiments and eventually, to maintain harmony, he was involved in creation of what was supposed to be an Element opposed to the effect of being able to change the world by force of will.

It's just a legend though. It might just happen that the other sword is only a decorative piece of garbage and Void obliterates me immediately. Hopes aside, with how lacking in energy I was there should have been no way for me to survive my father's attack.

_No question there._

Am I immortal then?

_Keep asking yourself, that's gonna help._

So probably not but my changeling side combined with the magical body apparently grants me insane amount of survivability, something I feel is a bit more a curse than a blessing.

_Well you had hard time walking to the train station. The fatigue is probably a side-effect of the unnatural regeneration._

Great... so if somepony decides I deserve to be wiped from the face of Equestria they have to throw me into a volcano or something.

_Or they'll just tell Celestia you said she was fat._

I might prefer the volcano. Damn... I messed up again.

_Be fair for once. You've never wanted to do that. You got dragged into this without your consent._

Honestly, I'm just going through the motions. I don't feel like killing Rising anymore, I don't really even feel like dealing with Void.

I just feel empty.

_So... let's get drunk?_

No. I will just visit Rising to see if his face makes me feel something else and then I'll get the second sword and find Void, probably at Choking's place.

_What if she gets in the way?_

If it's from her own free will then I will know she's safe and I'm done. If not then we will have an epic boss fight and I'll get the damsel in distress free from the villain and half of the kingdom as a reward.

The train arrives in Canterlot and the evening gloom covers my progress to the location I found in Choking's office.

Rising Thunder's home and then the Cult of Luna. If somepony stands in my way they will die, Chokey's safety is on the line.

* * *

[Choking's Entry]

Alright. Now I'm really confused. Some fake Twilight Sparkle is in the castle and Blaze is gone... again.

What's worse, Void is nervous.

[End Entry]

* * *

As the entrance to my apartment appears, I don't bother using my shaking hooves to operate something as delicate as a keyring and just begin banging at the door.

"Void! Void! VOID!"

I calm down a bit when the clicking from the other side reveals the blackfire alicorn.

"What is going on?"

Scared for my family's life, I have no time to explain but my desperate expression and my trembling all over is enough for him not to ask pointless questions. I still don't think Blaze would willingly kill a defenseless pony but this is a situation in which I'm not willing to take a risk.

"Go to 12 Doctor Whooves Road and give them this," I take off my guard badge, give it to Void and continue.

"Tell them they are in danger and if anything happens then protect them at all costs."

"What kind of danger are we talking about? I am not going into this blind."

"Blazing Light armed with some kind of magical sword."

"What in Tartarus-?"

"No time to explain, just go! I have one more thing to take care of and then I'll run there as well. If you show my badge to any guard and ask for directions they will not bother you."

"Alright I am going but you owe me an explanation later."

"Sure, just don't let anything happen to my parents!"

He finally catches on and without any regard for his secrecy he summons his blackfire wings and runs out of the building. If he gets there in time then my family should be safe. Blazing's combat skill aside, the alicorn of Death should have no problem stopping him.

Able to breathe a bit easier, I remember the second concern of today - Rising Thunder. As much as I would love to see him suffer for the part he played in Blaze's death I think that bringing him before the princesses, making him confess and clear Blaze's name is a better outcome than his end. Also after today, the possibility of seeing young Rolling Thunder lose her father seems more personal than before.

I also don't want to see Blaze turn from a killer to murderer.

Rising Thunder's home is located in one of more common parts of Canterlot filled with family houses, the sort everypony dreams of owning and it has everything - two stories, a garden with a swing presumably from the time Rolling Thunder was just a small filly. It makes me consider how someone so obviously normal could have plotted the death of another pony.

The sight of opened door begins to invoke a pavlovian response in cold sweat forming on my back. With no delay this time I rush in again, I'm still late but not too late yet.

Rising Thunder is lying on the floor, bleeding from numerous wounds, none of which seems fatal. Two other ponies are watching the spectacle one of which I identify as Rolling Thunder, Rising's daughter who is bleeding from her nose, presumably from an attempt at stopping Blaze. The second one is a mare I've never seen before but I guess it's Rising's wife. Blazing's new sword is aimed at Rising's neck.

"Blaze, NO!" I shout.

"Go away. I want to do at least one thing right."

"This isn't the right thing."

"How can you say that? HE covered Blueblood's rape attempt, HE stole the money and HE framed me and got me killed!"

No... my weakness and fear got you killed.

"I know but he deserves justice, not this."

"Justice is what I got when I was choking to death hanging from a tree. And that kind of justice is what he's going to get."

"I won't let you."

She walk between the earthpony and the unicorn without either one of them moving.

"You can't stop me."

"You'll have to break every bone in my body to stop me from stopping you," I smile at him. It's something that's never failed to brighten his day. There's always a first time though.

"What makes you think I won't do it?"

Technically nothing but I have one more card to play. Manipulating him in such way feels a bit wrong but it's for the greater good.

"Void told me what you felt... or still feel towards me?"

"What do you know about Void?" he asks, stopping and watching me carefully.

"He asked me to help him in recovering his body from Tartarus but that's not important until you leave this behind you."

"No..."

Blaze's horn glows stronger and following the movement of his hoof, the silver sword swings around and stabs the target. For the second time, it is a wrong one.

"I wish ponies would stop doing that," he comments, rolling his eyes.

In much the same way as his mother I deflected the blow aimed at Rising. Fortunately, the guard issue sword just scratched me. I take a deep breath when I realize that if the blow went a bit more to the left then my neck would have been unpleasantly drafty.

I point at the shocked but relieved faces of Rising's daughter and wife.

"I'll bring him to justice but I'll do it the right way," I say.

He growls at Rising cowering behind me but sheathes his family's greatsword and runs away for the second time today.

Before leaving, I punch Rising just for good measure. All this is his fault.

One last place to go and while I'm in no state to run I can still follow his hoofsteps without being noticed.

The Cult of Luna used to be an organization responsible for helping batponies deal with persecution but now it's just a place where ponies can sort out their religious struggles or ask the lunar princess for blessing in prayers. I'm not sure whether it actually works but the institution still stands.

When he enters the building I quietly follow him. Void's interference could show me whether or not I can trust him. I'm leaning towards yes but he might say something which might make me rethink it if he thinks I'm not around. Being here on time, I'm not scared about my family anymore because I'm pretty sure I can stop Blaze myself.

The temple is completely deserted. On Sunday it's not too surprising but the complete lack of anypony around shows that Void has done his job.

Blaze levitates the silvery greatsword with ebony handle towards its counterpart, an ashen greatsword with ivory handle, hanging in the main room on an enchanted rack protecting it from theft. The magic fades and both swords hover before him in telekinetic grip.

In a burst of black flames, Void appears.

"Ah... Blazing Light, short time no see," he says in his blues singer voice.

"Void."

"How nice of you to remember my humble presence. What brings you here?"

"I'm here to get you out of Chokey's life."

"Jealous?" asks Void and winks at Blaze.

"No, I just want this to end and for her to be safe from some Tartarus demon."

"I can assure you I pose no danger to miss Darkness."

"What about your mission to get your body back?"

"Miss Darkness is helping me of her own free will."

"Free will or not, opposing Celestia will put her in danger and I won't allow that."

"I still do not get why you have never told her you loved her."

"Because I would be the worst thing that could happen to her."

That idiot. There are no words to describe how...

...what?

Do I love him? Hardly. Do I care about him? Deeply.

I reveal my presence.

"Stop referring to yourself as a thing, Blaze."

He visibly jumps but recovers immediately and attacks Void with both weapons. His swing is almost instant but Void teleports a short distance away and lets out a burst of magic towards Blaze. Controlling both swords and unable to move, Blaze screams when the black fire hits his face. Void doesn't press the assault and heavily breathing Blaze just keeps shaking his head over and over.

"Why are you here?" Blaze eventually asks when nopony seems eager to continue.

"A spell summoned me here, remember?" answers Void.

"I mean here at this temple."

I step in.

"I'm sorry to say it, Blaze, but I was worried after seeing you at your parents' house and after I heard you asking about our family's sword I thought you might hurt my folks to get it so I asked Void to keep an eye on them."

Blaze looks directly at me and I see one of his eyes, hit by Void's spell, is milky white. His jaw drops as the realization sets in.

"Your... family? I've messed up everything... again, my father was right all along. I'm a screwup."

I try to stop him when he begins walking to the temple entrance but he just pushes past me without second look.

"This... has to end," he groans.

Void pulls me to him with one of his wings.

"A poet once said - Even though we forget in times of strife, death is a gateway into new life," he says loud enough to resonate through the room.

Blaze doesn't stop.

"It's too late for me."

"I have done things you cannot imagine, kid, so believe me when I say there is never too late to make things right."

When Blaze disappears through the doorway I struggle and get out of Void's wing embrace.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask angrily.

"We have to go, I feel Celestia coming. She must have sensed me using my power and will not hesitate to wipe this entire place out to 'save' her ponies from me."

"I can't leave Blaze alone in that state."

"You will not be able to help him from prison or a grave, come on!"

"I'll think of... something, just don't do anything stupid!" I shout at the door and then get closer to Void.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

A sense of falling proves to me we've left the temple.

We've teleported only a short distance and are now hiding between chimneys of nearby buildings and watching princess Celestia descend towards the temple. I'm a bit worried about her blowing up the place just for being in connection to Void but despite what I percieved as her uncontrolled, and very much substantiated, hatred towards the blackfire alicorn she just leaves few short moments later and we begin flying towards my apartment.

"Void?" I begin.

"Yes?"

"How is Blaze still alive?"

"I do not think 'still' is the correct term here."

"What do you mean?"

"The runes on his body prove that it was forged by a powerful magic and bind his soul to it. The spell used to bring me back killed him, of that I am sure."

"You mean somepony brought him back from the dead, is there anypony with that kind of power?"

"Necromancy, while frowned upon, is not a forgotten art so the knowledge exists but the price one has to pay for performing spells of that sort is high enough as it is and they might fail anyway."

"So there is somepony able to do it."

"No. The knowledge may be available but there is no magic user with enough raw power to create a magical body and bind a soul to it without breaking its will aside from a wielder of Element of Magic."

"Maybe whoever revived him messed him up?"

"I doubt it. Enslaved souls usually don't retain their ability to speak and are just used for their past skillset."

"Yeah, I was just hoping..."

"He did not have it in him to seriously consider murder?"

"Kinda that."

"Let me tell you this - I still think you two should at least try things together. I also know that even the strongest can break under enough pressure and do things they would not do otherwise."

"He's been like that since I've met him though."

"Then maybe there was nopony to show him he was wrong for so long that he now cannot comprehend that things can be different."

"You know you're really nice?"

"Not really. I just hate pointless things and chances ruined by fear and ego."

"Oh come on, admit it! The dreaded avatar of Death is just a big softie."

"I consider myself intelligent enough to do without the need to be unpleasant."

"So, if for some reason I wanted to see Blaze again... is there a way to find him?"

"I am sorry but I cannot help you with that."

"Should I remind you I'm willing to go to Tartarus with you to get your body back?"

"I did not mean it that way, I just have no idea where he could be and finding him using magic will be impossible thanks to the Blades of Balance."

"The what now?"

"The two swords, one of which was being kept at Luna's temple."

"That thing? I thought it was just a sword with magic used to keep it sharp."

Void sighs at my obvious ignorance about apparently one of the most unique items in the world.

"While this statement will be incorrect in almost all possible ways it should suffice. Wielding both swords will make him immune to magic."

"Wait, isn't his telekinesis and his body magical?"

"I oversimplified the effects. His ability will remain untouched but thanks to his new body, he will die eventually."

"How much time does he have?"

"No idea, it all depends on how powerful the one who revived him is."

"Got any idea who that might be? There can't be that many ponies skilled enough."

"The first one who comes to mind is Twilight Sparkle but with her studying under Celestia there is no way she knows enough and even with her being an Element bearer I doubt she is powerful enough yet. Next one would be Luna herself but I do not see any reason for her doing so. Oh wow... is it THAT simple?"

"Did you just say 'wow'?"

"Listen, the only ones with power even slightly approaching what is needed to bring back the dead are the gathered Elements of Harmony or just the Element of Magic wielded by somepony really powerful. Without those, there are only few alicorns capable of doing so. How many alicorns do you know?"

"Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Twilight Sparkle, you and Scream."

Void is now looking at me like a teacher giving directions to his new pupil who is using brain for the first time.

"Minus the ones we've already counted out and the impossible ones."

"Eehm, Luna, Cadence and... Scream?"

"Getting closer but Cadence is too young and unskilled to do something like that and while Luna probably has got the knowledge and even the power to do so I still cannot see a reason why she would do it. Which leaves us with the only one with enough magic, knowledge and even a special ability of manipulating souls."

"Wow."

"Wow indeed."

"Can we ask her?"

"I definitely will if I get the chance."

"Considering she's your owner, can't you contact her somehow?"

"SHE'S NOPONY'S OWNER!" shouts Void blushing and dropping down like a rock as his wings freeze mid-swing.

"Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Pfff. No, I cannot contact her the way I am now."

He tries to fake sulking but my main worry is out of the way and we just descend towards the apartment building and finally stop in front of the door of my home.

"Oh creeperberries!" facehoofs Void.

"Eh?"

"I used my power just outside the apartment earlier. How could I have been so stupid?"

"What's going on, are we running again?"

"Not this time, she already knows we are here."

"Who?"

"Just open the door, there is nothing we can do."

With a click, the door opens and we both go inside.

"Greetings, our loyal subjects."

It's princess Luna.


	44. From Bad To Worse: Relaxed

[Choking's Entry]

Despite everything that's happened it seems that I'm going to have a bit of peace and quiet after all.

Alright, time to let everything go and relax.

[End Entry]

* * *

I step back in shock and my rump hits the door which closed by itself behind me and Void. I get ready to... what? Attacking the princess would not help anything and running seems impossible so I just wait, prepared to seize whatever opportunity presents itself.

To my left, Void begins focusing and gets ready to react as well.

"There is no need for that, we are here just to talk... for now," says Luna but the threatening atmosphere remains.

Luna sighs, points at Void and drops the official Canterlot voice.

"Scream asked me to keep an eye on you. Why do you think you haven't been found out yet when her scrying protection disappeared quite a while ago?"

Unsure what to do, Void relaxes as well.

"I did not know that, this body is not really good with magic."

"Oh right... the guard," Luna turns to me, "I didn't have a chance to say how sorry I was."

Hearing the regret in Luna's voice makes me reconsider the desire to choke her on the spot regardless the consequences.

"I really want him to be here right now."

Luna will find no indication of anything other than the truth in those words.

"You were close?"

"Not really, he doesn't let anypony get too close to him but I am probably the closest you can get."

Void kicks my hind leg but Luna is sharp enough and sighs. I kinda forgot about the past tense.

"My sister doesn't know where you are and until I'm certain what I can expect I prefer it to stay that way so why don't you just tell me everything."

"The orbital velocity of the moon is-" begins Void.

"Yes, yes. I asked for that, didn't I? After your appearance, Twilight identified the spell that brought you here so why don't you start with what happened at the Nightmare Night festival. Don't leave out a single detail, this is not just about you two."

"What do you mean?"

"The fake Twilight Sparkle is now sitting in the throne room imprisoned by my sister. The real one is on her way from Ponyville to interrogate her and find out what sort of threat she is."

Void facehoofs.

"You left her unguarded inside the castle?"

"Celestia should be back shortly after leaving to look for you and there are guards all around the throne room."

"I saw her power through Blazing's eyes and you have made a terrible mistake. Not even Celestia's barrier will hold her without its creator around."

"I think you're overreacting."

"Who has got the most knowledge of magic in these parts?"

"Scream and I."

"Knowledge, not power or skill."

Luna rolls her eyes.

"Fine... you."

"So believe me when I say you have to go back as fast as possible."

"No," Luna stomps the floor, "your allegiance is not yet clear. Explain everything and then I shall decide what to do next!"

"You stubborn mule-"

I nudge Void and when he turns to me I gently knock on his head, a sign Blaze used to do whenever I was being stupid.

"The faster we get through this the sooner we can deal with whatever you think is going on," I say.

It's enough for him and I go get some bandages for my wounds and cream for countless bruises from my unfortunate habit of being slammed into walls and floors. When I get back, Void begins recounting the situation and I chip in whenever there is something only I know while massaging my sore spots.

The night creeps in when we finish and our story leaves Luna deeply in thought.

"So what are you going to do with us, princess?" I ask.

"Nothing yet but you'd do best to lie low for a while. Celestia knows you are still in Canterlot and will not hesitate to deal with you harshly. The only reason she didn't order the city searched is because she doesn't want panic in Canterlot and has no idea how much power you actually have. To be honest, she is afraid."

"I do not mean to repeat the past," says Void meekly.

"I truly hope so," replies Luna with a sigh, "but there is nothing we can do about it right now so have a rest. I will go back and see what can be done about fake Twilight."

"She is not fake, she is Twilight from the other side and from what I have seen she is powerful enough to make you and Celestia sweat."

"How is that possible?"

"I do not know as I cannot see through the dimensional veil. Just be careful, I am kind of glad to have seen you again, kid."

Luna looks hard at Void for a second and then gets up to leave.

"I'm not a 'kid' anymore, Void. I don't have the luxury to play games and I have to protect my subjects from danger so if you eventually prove to be a bother I will not hesitate to seal you away forever myself."

She doesn't bother leaving through the door and just disappears in a flash of darkness.

I let out a long sigh of relief.

"That was scary."

"Have you never guarded Luna before?"

"I have but she was never pissed at me."

"She was not angry, just unsure what to do. Honestly, I would be too in her situation."

"Well, I know what to do."

"Oh? What is your masterful plan then?"

"Dinner, bath, massage, sleep."

"Are you sure you are not overthinking things?"

"Bite me. Just for that, I won't ask you to join me in the tub."

"Wha?" Void physically jumps.

I just wave him off.

"Just kidding, shoo! Off to the kitchen with you, make something nice and I'll be waiting for you in the bathroom."

"Whaaa?"

"Blaze was actually pretty skilled in the massage department for a self-taught guy, I wonder if you can top it."

"Whaaaaaa?"

"And I have something I've wanted to try for a while. Hmmm... now where is the oil," I scratch my head and trot off happily to the bathroom from where the sound of flowing water can be heard shortly after.

I'm pretty sure I can repay Void for all his help. I mean the Tartarus thing is also something I'm somehow helping with but I intend to make myself useful in one way I'm sure about.

I dig out a set of scented candles and spread them around the bathroom, dim the lights and lower myself into the filling bathtub. Scream or no Scream, his eyes will fall out of their sockets when he comes.

I might have overestimated my chances but he still eats every athletic curve of my body when he opens the door.

"Care to join me?" I ask, trying to sound as seductive as possible.

Ancient or not, there are some things all surprised stallions have in common.

"Who, me?"

With that the atmosphere is instantly broken by my burst of laughter.

"Yea, c'mon. I mean I would ask Luna as well but the tub isn't big enough. It's just a bath and I swear I won't bite."

"Alright but give me a second, there is something in the kitchen that I cannot just leave there."

Knowing the pleasure of his cooking, I don't press the issue. He comes pretty soon after I relax in the tub and slips in as well. It's time for my performance. I hug him from behind, begin rubbing my body against his and grin as I hear his breathing speed up. I pick up a shampoo bottle and spill the contents on myself before resuming the treatment.

"Now for the fun part."

"I am definitely enjoying myself already," says Void with absolute conviction, the time he spent in Tartarus must have been way too long.

"You only think that, now turn around and relax."

"If I relax more I think I am going to melt."

"You're gonna be hard in the right places," I tease.

He breathes out slowly as I slip over his body in a cloud of bubbles and make his Scepter Of Domination reveal itself. I keep grinding but the desire for happy ending proved by his body is unanswered because I eventually shift my focus towards his mane and tail. Thankfully, he takes it in stride and with his physical excitement fading I feel his hooves gently massage my body and I guide him towards more intimate parts. Much like my efforts, his hooves stop just as I begin shivering and focus their attention elsewhere.

I guess I deserved that.

"Damn you're really good," I give him ten out of ten for effort.

"I have had the best trainer."

The reminder that my current companion spent considerable time with the alicorn of Lust is enough to make me smile knowingly. I tried to train some of my previous coltfriends but I've never found one pliant enough. Once again, Blaze comes to mind. Perhaps Void was right in saying I should have tried to do things with him?

"Mmmm, if I didn't have bruises on my bruises I would be humping your bones right here on the spot," I mumble.

"I doubt that," smiles Void, helps me out of the tub, throws the closest towel over my head and then levitates one himself.

Apparently despite being in Tartarus for what seems like forever, his old marefriend could build mental and physical endurance enough to survive any temptation, not to mention outshine the performance of any mare.

Dry and suddenly hungry like a shark smelling blood, I'm already sitting at the table when Void brings out a tray of food I've never seen before.

"Holy cow, that's some gourmet stuff," I whistle at the sight of what seems to be two halves of bread filled with pea soup with cheese and fried bread crumbs.

"Not really. It is just something ponies in eastern parts of Equestria enjoy. It is actually more a peasant food than something special."

"Mhmfrsting," I gulp down the contents of my spoon.

"You can eat it by drinking the soup and biting off parts of the bread it is in."

I experiment and almost choke when I bite off too much bread and the soup spills a bit. The second attempt is more successful though.

"You'd be an awesome chef if you tried."

"I had to learn fast since Scream was capable of burning juice when she tried to make breakfast for the first and last time."

"That doesn't seem physically possible."

"A magic-user with short temper does not exactly fit the term 'physically possible'."

"Whoa, living with her doesn't sound so good from all the things you've said."

"It had its perks," says Void and looks at the ceiling.

I grin and hope somepony's ever said something like that about me.

"Stallions..."

"Hey! Do you know how hard is to think straight when you grow a fifth leg whenever Scream is around?" tries Void to defend himself without any effect.

"I dunno, don't think I woulda stayed in a relationship just for sex."

"It is nothing of that sort, I love her no matter her flaws."

"Awww, love spanning thousands of years. How cute!"

"I am not sure that 'cute' is a good term for anything what avatars of death and lust can do."

"Don't be so obsessed about what you are and just remember who you are."

"Wise words, is my presence here having an effect?"

"I gotta admit it is but most of the time I'm just thinking about what to tell Blaze when I see him again."

"And you keep telling me you do not know what you feel towards him."

"It's cause I don't know, it's different from anypony else."

"Reeeeeeally..."

"Pfff. I usually just want somepony for late night fun but I just can't even imagine Blaze here."

"Even after seeing his rubber elephant trunk?"

"Yea and there's that as well. I don't think he's into mares at all and even his father called him a gay... something."

"Things are not always as they seem."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that this is something that you two should talk about, not the two of us. Or even better - go visit a suspicious leather goods shop, browse their collection and then grab Blazing Light by his ears and do not take 'no' for an answer. Some ponies just need a bit more straightforward and forceful approach."

"You know what? I will and at least I'll find out whether there is something in all your 'infinite wisdom'."

"Just let me talk Scream before that, we might join in."

"What can we, simple ponies, do to spice up your relationship?" I ask with good-willed sarcasm.

"After all this time? Scream gets truly aroused only when I jump on the couch first while wearing an antique griffon army helmet and recite zebra poetry in their native language. Of course I must never forget to shout 'FIRE IN ZE HOLE!' when jumping down otherwise the whole mood is ruined."

"That has to be a joke, right?"

"..."

"Right?"

"Let that remain a secret for now."

With that the dinner is over and I relax on the couch and try to ward off the incoming sleep. Slowly failing, I feel Void pick me up and carry me to bed where the warmth seeping from my stomach shuts me down completely.


	45. Hope Dies Last: Turnaround

[Blazing's Entry]

Remember the time I said an entry was my last one?

Yeaaaaah... that.

As it turns out, I'm pretty bad at offing myself. I mean if there was a suicide competition somewhere then I would be the one who leaves it with stronger heart and lower cholesterol levels.

It's not all bad though, more like exactly the opposite.

I banged a mare! I banged a mare!

That might need some clarification. By 'I banged her' I mean 'she banged me' and by 'mare' I mean... well, technically...

Alright, my butt hurts, what of it?

So, where to begin?

[End Entry]

* * *

_I'm soooo booooored!_

So am I. It hurt like blazes, no pun intended, when I sent both swords to impale me to the cavern floor hard enough for me not to be able to pull them out again. Unfortunately, when Scream made this body she made it really well and even when hungry and tired, it still possesses incredible survivability.

_You could have at least pinned yourself down with head aimed at the entrance. That wall is pretty uninteresting._

Sorry to say, I wasn't really expecting to be alive for HOURS.

_You should stop killing yourself, you seem to suck at it._

Third time's the charm?

_I really doubt that. Somepony up there probably hates you enough to make you keep going._

Life sucks and, apparently, so does death. Now I'm left with my thoughts and that is never a good thing. Eventually the magic in my body will fail but as things go, eventually might mean days.

_You did a pretty good job with those swords. Too bad you can't pull them out, return to Canterlot and tell Choking you got tired of dying and that you love her._

Well I should have done that last time I met her but considering the circumstances that wouldn't have been the best idea. What's more, I can't say I love her, it was more like obsession for last few days.

_Obsession, by Fleur De Lis._

Are you really playing ads?

_I. AM. BORED. Also, you don't have an idea about ancient Equestrian poetry so I can't just make up some amazing slogan to leave to future generations._

Cry me a river.

_Hey... are those voices I hear? WE SHALL BE SAVED!_

Oh buck me...

There are distorted voices coming from the cave mouth. Having nothing better to do, I just listen.

A deafening blow tears away the front of the cave in an avalanche of rocks sending four shapes flying into what used to be the inside of it.

_That must have been pretty interesting. Too bad all I see is that dripping stalag-thingy._

Stalagtites. They are the ones hanging down, I think.

My overacive brain unfortunately piqued my interest and now even I'm regretting not seeing anything. Some shadows pass by me in a rush.

"Hey! There's a corpse here but there are weapons, grab them!" shouts a military sounding voice obviously ready to be obeyed.

_Well this is gonna sting._

I groan as my two weapons are pulled out of the ground, releasing me. A roar cuts through the air and I hear hoofsteps backing away to the deeper part of the cave.

"Your majesty, hide behind us."

Okay, so they are guards of some sort. Despite being tired and almost magic-less due to the swords I have enough strength to turn on my back. With the weapons out of me, I begin regenerating.

_IS THAT A BUCKING HYDRA?!_

A blast of green light hits the monster which recoils slightly but just looks at the burning head that's been hit and roars yet again. Within seconds, the wounded head begins healing which is enough for me to disregard all pain and get up. Peaceful death is no longer an option as the idea of being chewed up by a hydra in a regenerating body is a bit too brutal even for me. Completely forgetting about my swords being taken away, I blindly try to levitate their forms.

They come to me after being torn from the telekinetic grip of the guards, whoever they were. Unfortunately for them, it means their only means of defense have been taken away and when the hydra heads reach behind me I just hear a snap of teeth and short-lived screams of pain.

_Oops._

I don't hesitate though and as the necks pass back over me I slash with both weapons in a wide arc, leaving the hydra nothing to regenerate. Or so I think until the body begins twitching again and all three sliced throats close up.

Another green beam hits the hydra and for once I'm glad I have the anti-magic swords back because at close range I can feel the backwash of energy when the spell hits. The fried hydra doesn't get up this time and I turn to identify the spellcaster.

Uh oh.

_Do you think she remembers you?_

Probably. Killing dozens of her underlings and stopping part of her forces from entering Canterlot castle might stick in memory for some weird reason.

_But without you, the invasion wouldn't have even happened. Maybe she will reward you?_

Last time she tried to reward me by eating me but underestimated my body.

_See? Now you have something in common. Perhaps you could talk about it._

Something like 'Uh, hi! Remember the time you tried to kill me and failed miserably? Yeah... been there, done that'.

The powerful mage standing in front of me is none other than the changeling queen, complete package with the black chitin, translucent wings and blue-ish mane and tail.

And her green eyes, narrowing slowly when she looks at me.

_Yeah, she remembers._

Perhaps it's my new body, the weapons, or perhaps I'm just used to it but when her horn glows in sync with her eyes it changes nothing for me.

_Don't lie. She's still a sexy beast._

Damn yes.

Failing her charm attempt, she resorts to a direct approach in sending another beam of energy at me which dissipates mid-air.

_Good. The swords actually work. I wasn't really sure after the last shutdown attempt. That means she's defenseless. Here's your chance to do something right, hint hint, the one you've always wanted._

I can't just kill a defenseless pony.

_Since when?_

Point taken, now shut up.

_Firstly, she's not a pony. Secondly, she's evil. Finally, she's not really defenseless, just against you she is._

All those are valid arguments but I'm not willing to harm a being which I percieve basically as an unarmed mare.

_She's a MONSTER!_

Hey! I've been called that as well.

_No, you're a horny moron. She's a real threat. Stop thinking with your balls and KILL HER!_

Not happening, no matter how many good and valid reasons you present.

_Okay, just cut her legs off and bring her to Canterlot for execution. Celestia herself will give you hoofjobs every time you ask if you do that._

I lower my weapons to calm Chrysalis down.

"What are you doing here?" is my totally inoffensive question.

"I don't have to explain myself to you, worm!"

"Fine, whatever. I'll forget I've seen you and we part ways then."

"I think I'll just lay eggs in you," threatens Chrysalis and sends another beam of energy towards me with the same lack of results.

_She's dumb as a brick, no wonder the invasion failed._

"I'm sorry but I don't think I'm ready for serious relationship no matter how tempting it sounds," I say, grinning.

"YOU IMPUDENT TRASH!" screams Chrysalis and gathers more energy than before. It takes her way more time but I don't try to stop her as I'm curious myself how much my body combined with the swords can take.

The blast melts the rocky ground between us and disappears completely after getting near the crossed swords. Chrysalis is now breathing heavily and shaking in exhaustion.

_You know what? Keep trying diplomacy, she's gonna tire herself soon enough and then something will just eat her._

"Keep doing that, maybe it will work the seventeenth time."

She just keeps staring at me in wordless anger and defiance.

"Soooo, are we cool?" I ask.

This time I don't see the horn glow but a weak glimmer of green coursing through her chitin armor proves to me she's doing something. Her power is incomparably higher than mine so the guess is that she's improving her physical abilities somehow.

It proves correct when she charges me at breakneck speed unachievable by normal means. Unfortunately for her, the muscular enhancement doesn't give one the ability to use it effectively and every martial artist worth his salt knows what to do with an enemy charging in a straight line. When I trip her up and swing her over my head to slam her back on the ground, it's only her hardened green belly armor that protects her spine but shatters in the process.

Her attempt to get up and her weak coughing make me lean down to offer her a helping hoof.

_ARE YOU CRAZY? I mean she's pretty stupid but how can you be even worse?_

"If you keep doing that somepony might get hurt so please stop, my queen," I say softly.

This time it's her hurt pride which doesn't allow any weakness and she grabs my hoof, twists it and pulls me on the ground where she mounts me. Then her jaws come and bite through my neck.

"That will teach you to lay your filthy hooves on the queen, slave. Now speak! What are you doing here?"

My unnatural body isn't enough to protect me from her venom but helps me keep more than two brain cells. Unfortunately, quantity doesn't mean quality.

"I was just walking around, looking for a souvenir shop and suddenly I heard a hydra trying to take a bite of the most beautiful pony I've ever seen," I answer, meaning every compliment. She doesn't need venom to make me go crazy.

Her laying eggs in my brain sounds more and more tempting as the poison spreads through my body but with sheer luck I dodge her second bite attempt and manage to get her under me, switching positions.

At that point I'm no longer able to resist her venom in my bloodstream and begin kissing, hugging and grinding my queen, lover, owner, mistress and other names my confused mind can think of.

My licking her chitinout chest is completely lost on her, however, because my passionate hugs make it very hard for her to breathe. The fog in my head fades and it's probably because she realized that her charming venom wasn't really helping her at all.

Not that she needs it to let me feed her.

"Oh really?" she asks thoughtfully.

I forgot about this nasty little ability of hers. Having no idea what to say, I just stare at the queen, who stops struggling.

"So you like to be on top?" she asks again, thoughtfulness turning to seduction.

"Nice try, but I'm a bottom personally," I try to joke my way out, forgetting that the changeling under me is somepony who has been dealing with pony minds and desires for centures.

"Even that can be arranged," says Chrysalis sensually and licks her lips, careful to show her long tongue.

I'm up for the fight though so I just spit out the deepest and weirdest desire I can think of.

"Really? Can you change into Spitfire with some additional special equipment down there?" I ask, daring Chrysalis and expecting her to stop the game.

I realize how horribly outmatched I am in this game when a burst of green flames passes her form and spreading under me there is...

"Oh. My. God," is all I can say with bulging eyes.

"My queen is enough, dear," says Spitfire slowly.

_I take back everything I said, this one's a keeper._

This time I really jump off her, absolutely speechless. Chrysalis/Spitfire just smiles and spreads her hind legs showing off the requested 'special equipment'.

_When will you ever get another chance like this?_

She will bite me!

_Worth it._

She will kill me!

_Worth it._

She will lay eggs in my brain!

_Not without a map. Still worth it!_

"I really, really want to... but I don't want to die," I say, completely shocked to find out it is true. For the first time in what feels like ages I have the strength to keep going.

Not that I actually have a choice as it seems.

"Alright," says Chrysalis, "how about we call it a reward for saving me."

"For real?"

I can feel my energy draining away but compared to the last time she fed on me it's slow, steady and not really threatening.

"Are you doubting the word of your queen?" she asks, smiling widely.

That's it. How many times does one get an opportunity for Spitfire to ride him?

_Most stallions would like the opposite._

Maybe later. The changeling queen in a form of the captain of Wonderbolts with capabilities of a hung stallion. What's not to like?

_Wow. First time thinking that without adding 'I am a freak'. _

If she doesn't have a problem with it, why should I?

_One heck of a first time, right?_

Second, but yeah. Brainegging or not, worth it.

_Told you._

"Can you bite me... just a bit?" I ask shyly.

Chrysalis/Spitfire opens her mouth again, showing that she still retains her fangs and wraps her tongue around one of them.

"Anything for you, my pet."

Hesitantly, I step into a completely new territory and love every second of it despite walking funny for a while.


	46. Hope Dies Last: Travels

[Blazing's Entry]

I agreed to take place as Chrysalis' guard until we arrive at the hive. She says it should take us about two weeks and I don't have a problem with that.

It's not like I had anything planned.

The funniest thing is that she's suspicious of me all the time thanks to me doing this without any poison, threats or magic. I guess the idea of somepony willingly spending time with her is completely alien to the queen of changelings, even if said somepony is basically considered a thinking meal by her.

I was surprised I actually woke up after our first night but I guess she just kept me around to have somepony to eat. She also apparently knows everything about survival in the forest and has no problem teaching me what plants are edible. Changelings have to keep their prisoners alive somehow after all, don't they?

In all honesty, while I was hoping for some more 'feeding sessions' I didn't want to bother her so now I just enjoy the stories about changeling history. I thought just my presence was enough for her to stay healthy.

I was wrong.

[End Entry]

* * *

With a week of travelling behind us, we break camp. The unspoken agreement is that I get the fire started by gathering some wood while protected by a small sphere of light conjured by the queen. She refuses to do menial tasks but at least uses her magic to light the fire. When everything is done, I sit down to warm up.

"Your queen desires something to eat," says Chrysalis with the amount of tact usually associated with ponies with no teeth carrying baseball bats.

"I thought you said you're getting enough just by being with me," I reply.

"That's poor stuff. I wish for something more... filling."

"Such as?" I ask with only a slight worry. My interest in changelings grew massively after our wild night together thanks to me not being used to somepony treating me as if all my interests were normal and during our trip I've been asking Chrysalis as many things as possible, besides it's something to pass time. With me now being the pony (I get the issue) with probably the best knowledge about changelings, I know she isn't talking about finally biting off my legs and eating them with grass seasonings. Still, Chrysalis is unpredictable.

"Such as the sweet taste you gave me during our first meeting when I graced your miserable little existence with my presence."

Week later, I'm still uneasy about sitting near larger rocks. Uneasy but not without pleasant memories so my gaze slides over the queen's slim body revealed by the destruction of her green armor. My saying I wasn't thinking about her a lot would be a lie but I wasn't asking her for anything because I didn't want to offend her. Not for fear of my life, that thing has been gone for too long, but just because she's a mare... sort of.

"Okay, but let me get some more firewood first."

When I get back with what I consider enough for the night, there is male/female Spitfire waiting for me, ready and willing. I stack the wood and then, without apparent use of a horn, Spitfire lights it.

Something is different though. Last time it was my wildest desire which drove me but now I feel like I need something else. It's probably due to me finding out how lighthearted the queen really is when not having to decide the next step for her nation not to die.

I actually LIKE her.

"Is this form not enough for you? I remember you screaming 'harder harder' and later on 'mercy mercy'," taunts Chrysalis and now I'm afraid my cheeks might set the entire forest on fire.

"That was amazing but would I ask too much for you to be in your real form?"

Having no idea whether it's even possible for a changeling and a pony-ish thing to perform the usual gymnastics in their normal forms I wait for her answer.

"What's wrong with you?" the answer comes.

"Evidently everything," I whisper, forgetting our enhanced changeling senses and just keep staring into the fire.

She reverts back to her usual form and circles around me. Then a whisper in my ear tears me away from my grim thoughts and almost makes me jump.

"It is a very unusual request but you are in luck. Your queen demands what's hers."

She gently bites my ear, something I've found out kicks my desire into overdrive and I feed her as much as I can, completely ignoring my own limits.

I wake up in the darkness, not thanks to it being night but thanks to something blocking my one working eye. It's black, hard but yielding and it's slowly going up and down in regular intervals.

_Don't freak out but I think something really strange happened last night._

I'm not a morning pony and my conscious part is quite slow compared to my unconscious thoughts so my focus drifts to the strange soft rock holding him down.

_Dude, I think we have a problem._

I try to turn around but something from the same material as the rock is tightly coiled around my neck and preventing me from moving.

_It would be a REALLY good idea to wake up now._

Moving is difficult not only thanks to the thing wrapped around me but mostly due to every muscle in my body being incredibly weak and pained.

_Seriously, cut the bull-. We have a situation here._

My memory kicks in and it takes all my self-control not to scream in horror. I was okay with Spitfire/Chrysalis but the changeling queen herself has features which, while incredibly sexy at the time, are enough to make a pony thinking with his head instead his nether regions freeze even hours later.

_Good. Now check if you still have all your important bits._

Discounting the difficulty in moving, all my 'bits' feel in their right places.

_Better than a cold shower to wake you up, is it?_

She had small claws inside her... her... hnngh.

_You didn't seem to mind at the time._

You know what the weird thing is?

_Besides your habit of talking to yourself?_

It was actually better than with mutant Spitfire.

_Perhaps you could ask her next time to be in her real form but conjure a little extra between her hind legs. Or a big extra, changeling shaped._

Yaaaah!

It's a strange feeling, getting shocked while being in shock. For a second I ponder the possibility of sneezing out a small bolt of lightning.

_Alright, now that you are awake, we have a problem._

My crotch hurts and I can't feel most of my muscles but that doesn't seem too bad.

_Shut up and think, you horny moron. Feeling different?_

Happy?

_Brain to southern parts - release the blood you hold hostage so we can do something productive._

Fine, fine. What seems to be the problem, officer?

_Firstly, you can't make a decent guard joke. Secondly, you feel weak after overfeeding a changeling queen. Thirdly, see any purple glow around?_

Can't see a thing with one eye and only Chrysalis' chest with the other.

Ironic self-criticism aside, the dim purple glow would have been reflected by the black chitin if there was any.

My magical body. Am I dead?

_If you were, I wouldn't have to sit here and listen to your dizzy morning nonsense._

Are you an angel, voice inside my head?

_Very funny._

While making fun of my second self is mildly amusing, I have something else to do. Mustering enough strength to leave Chrysalis' embrace I check my body for the glowing purple runes but while the scratches are still there, the glow is gone.

Almost dying twice, fighting a hydra and taking a hit from an alicorn wasn't enough to break this body but all it means is that the amount of energy I fed to the queen last night must have been overwhelming.

She's waking up. Her green belly armor is back. She's at full power. I can't defend myself. We're in the middle of the forest.

She doesn't need me anymore.

With her first glance I know she's well aware of all that.

"Come, slave! We have long distance to cover," she commands.

We continue our trip as if nothing happened. For some reason she decides to keep me and spends most of her time chirping happily and flying around from time to time as well.

When we camp I try to go to sleep as soon as possible but I can't do it because she wraps her legs around me from behind. Despite the situation being incredibly tempting it's really bad.

"I don't think I can serve you tonight, my queen."

"Silence, pet!" she whispers to me from behind but doesn't make any further moves.

With the fire warming me from the front and Chrysalis from behind I drift off quickly.

Finally our last evening together comes. The ancient pony city with the main changeling hive underneath it is close but she decided not to rush and camp one more time.

"You have been a decent servant and your queen wants to reward you for your service," says Chrysalis when we eventually find a place where we are protected from wind.

"Eh?" is the only thing I'm able to say because while I've seen a side of the changeling queen I'm still not sure is real, all her rewards, while absolutely amazing, were pretty dangerous for me.

"Is there any other fantasy I can fulfill for you?" she asks, knowing there has to be something.

I wasn't really thinking about the future because there is nothing to think of. My life in Canterlot is over, Chokey is safe with Void and my family wants to see me dead. The being closest to me is now sitting next to me asking about unfulfilled wishes.

"I think nothing comes even close to just being with you," I say, illiciting a triumphant smile in Chrysalis, "but do you remember our first time?"

It clicks to her pretty fast and in a flash of green fire, she grows an attachment.

"Huh, so that's how a real changeling one looks like?" I ask after careful observation.

She winks at me.

"It's usually smaller but a queen deserves something king-sized."

_Damn. That's the funniest looking root vegetable I've ever seen. Definitely interesting though._

I wonder how it would feel.

_What are you hesitating for then?_

If I let myself get mounted by her again I'm dead.

_Never bothered you before._

It's difficult to explain why, for somepony in my situation, this time is different but just seeing happy Chrysalis made me think I actually have it in me to make somepony's life a bit better and that there's somepony who might enjoy my company no matter how bad I am.

Just like every time I've heard Chokey's voice.

_Worth it?_

Worth it!

"Can you tone in down a little though? I don't think my behind can take that."

Chrysalis grins.

"Don't underestimate yourself. Just consider this a BIG reward for your service."

The next morning I have to admit that she either knew my limits well or she just didn't care about causing damage but I'm not hurting THAT bad and my queen's happy snoring shows I made the right choice.

Looking at her, I suddenly want to do something I've never done spontaneously before. I lean down and kiss the nose of a being the rest of the world hates knowing I would give my life for her.

Hiding all signs of our presence, I jump when she sneaks up on me but we begin our final stretch.

"The hive is nearby," she says.

"It's been a pleasure serving you, my queen."

"I can imagine," she grins, "What are you going to do when we part ways?"

"I was kinda thinking about staying for a while, maybe to learn more about changelings."

"Or about me?"

"Erm," I choke. Is she really saying what I'm thinking?

"I was joking."

"For a second I was hoping you weren't."

She sighs and her horn glows weakly.

"I don't think you belong by my side."

"I know, I know. You are a queen and I'm just a guard."

"That means nothing here. I just feel that you are drawn to someone else."

"Who?"

"How should I know? I can't read minds, only feelings."

We walk in silence and she doesn't press the issue. Is she just trying to let me down gently?

_You should know that 'gently' probably doesn't figure in her dictionary._

Too true. What does she mean then?

_How many mares or stallions you've ever thought about romantically are there in your life?_

Most of the time I was trying to avoid those thoughts. They didn't bring much.

_Things just happen without your control, that's not a fault._

Goddamn Void, I can actually see him being right.

_Pfff. And you wanted to kill him._

Well, maybe for a bit. Is Chokey happy with him?

_What makes you think they are involved that way?_

I don't think she would have asked him to protect her parents from me if they weren't at least friends.

_Friends doesn't mean lovers._

You don't have to tell me. So... should I ask her out?

What's the worst that can happen? What's the worst that could have happened before?

Ruining the entire relationship.

_Well... do you have anything else left?_

Nothing to lose, everything to gain?

_Seems so. Death is a doorway to-_

Shut up, Void 2.0.

_I'm just your own head._

"Yea, there is this really annoying batpony but I actually enjoy her company," I admit finally, to her and to myself.

"Is it requited?"

"I doubt it, but gotta try anyway."

"Then no matter what happens you will be welcome in my hive."

"Thank you, my queen," I say, meaning every word and bowing down deeply.

A group of changelings appears from the shadows in front of us, apparently the sneakiness is a racial trait. Their leader is wearing a rusty set of armor, mostly just to look official as I know that changelings can regulate the hardness of their/our chitin. Seeing their queen, the changelings bow down as well and their leader speaks.

"Welcome back, your Highness. We were afraid we lost you."

"I am well, let us return to the matters of state."

"And the slave?" asks the armored changeling looking me.

Chrysalis' horn glows green and a small spark leaves it and connects with my horn upon which the changelings look at me surprisedly.

"Consider him an honorary hive member."

We enter the ruins of an ancient city with crumbling buildings repaired by globs of green goo. What catches my attention immediately though is a golden statue, untarnished by time, in the middle of square in front of what looks like the main palace.

It depicts an alicorn with what looks like changeling plates instead of a pony coat.

"Who is that?" I point at the statue and ask Chrysalis. I'm pretty sure I know though.

"That's the statue of Scream, she is the patron of changelings."

"Is there any way to contact her?"

"Why do you ask?" asks Chrysalis suspiciously.

"She's the one who resurrected me and gave me this body."

"What?" yells Chrysalis in utter amazement.

"That's a long story, so is there a way?"

"Just bow before the statue and focus on Scream herself," answers Chrysalis, curious about the attempt.

I do so and focus on the only memory of Scream I have. It's a pleasant one.

A blast of orange light illuminates the area around the statue and standing in it is a half-real image of Scream.

"Hi Chryssie! What's up?" she asks cheerfully.

Chrysalis' jaw drops and she just points at me. Then Scream's jaw suffers the same fate.

"I thought you were dead when I lost track of you," Scream speaks to me.

I think for a second and find the answer.

"That's probably thanks to these babies," I point at the two swords sheathed on my sides.

Scream smiles as if everything since my summoning went exactly as planned.

"Will you do what I asked you to do now?"

"You didn't ask for anything, but yeah. I have one conditon though - I need to visit a friend first."

Chrysalis and Scream both look at me.

"Tha batpony girl, have you finally found the courage?"

"More like I have nothing to lose."

"Even that's something."

Scream turns to Chrysalis.

"Sorry Chryssie, I have no time to talk, there are things I need to take care of with this guy."

"Just don't eat him, I might have some use for him later," says Chrysalis grinning evilly.

Scream's attention switches back to me.

"When this is over, you are telling me EVERYTHING."

I look at the changeling who changed me more than her own form.

"Goodbye, my queen."

"Goodbye, my faithful pet."

With a falling feeling, I appear in front of Choking's apartment and knock without hesitation. The redmane batpony opens the door and her eyes almost fall out of their sockets.

"Blaze?"

"Uhh, hi. I know this isn't the best time but," I pause and start again, looking apprehensively at the floor instead of her.

"I mean I'm probably not the best you could do, ehh, maybe I'm even close to the worst you could do but... will you go out with me?"


	47. Hope Dies Last: Outplayed

**Two weeks earlier.**

* * *

Princess Celestia enjoys Sundays as much as anypony, probably more because the usual influx of politicians, guild leaders and other important figures weakens to almost manageable state. Thankfully, today there was only a small amount of matters requiring her personal attention and those were dealt with swiftly. The solar princess takes a deep breath and enjoys the sweetness of a cup of tea brought to her by one of the servants.

Celestia is worried. Void's unchecked presence and Scream's refusal to cooperate are bad enough but her hope is that Scream will see things her way eventually and stop blocking her attempts to find the aspect of death. At least she believes it's Scream's doing, nopony else would be bold enough to go against her.

Still, the visit to the dream dimension was somewhat enlightening in revealing fake Twilight's goals and while Scream's obsession with Void hasn't changed, her influence over the world is bare at best and she's never been the power hungry type.

Unfortunately for Celestia, there is nopony else to turn to for help, aside from her sister of course, and according to Luna's story about enemy Twilight that might not be enough. She once again regrets the lack of time. When Magnus, the last alicorn of magic faded away, she cultivated her student to be able to take his place eventually but the hopes of having centuries to teach her proved a failure.

Everything is just a guesswork to her right now and the only real problem is Void. With him out of the way, she might have enough resources to deal with whatever threat the mirror world presents. Another cup of tea disappears while she's thinking.

A gust of wind blows through the throne room and an unpleasantly familiar purple unicorn wearing brown robe steps out of what looks like a rift in space.

"Twilight Sparkle, my most faithful student."

Had her real student been there, she would have been shaking in dread due to the coldness of Celestia's voice when she says Twilight's favorite greeting. The unicorn Twilight however just smiles sadly.

"It's been a while since I heard that. How are you, queen Celestia?"

"Princess Celestia will suffice and while I'm curious about my Twilight's potential, there is nothing for you here."

"And here was poor me thinking that we could be friends again."

"You attacked my sister and my student, the only reason you are still standing is because I'm opposed to hurting Twilight."

Twilight stares at Celestia with her bleeding eyesockets.

"The only reason I'm still standing is because you have no idea whether you can actually take me."

"You certainly have an overactive imagination just like Twilight."

"Don't compare me to the marshmellow you've created. You have no idea what I had to do to be here today."

"And you are still too young to understand the difference between us and the true potential of my student. Especially if you have to use that," says Celestia and points at the Alicorn amulet on Twilight's neck.

"Having to do all the things you wanted me to do alone and without the Element of Magic was painful and I had to accept help from elsewhere."

"That just means you are too different from my Twilight, she did find help in her friends."

The patronizing approach annoys the unicorn but the bitter joy of seeing her mentor once again is enough to stop her from snapping. Twilight sighs at the memory of her beloved teacher becoming the wreck she is now in her world. The brown-robed unicorn has got a reason for being here today though.

"Fine, then you don't have to be opposed to hurting me," she taunts Celestia.

The white alicorn hesitantly stands up from the throne the act of which makes the small unicorn shiver at seeing the menacing size and stern expression.

Twilight fought against her Celestia alongside king Sombra and has pretty good idea about the extent of her power, at least the extent of Celestia's power from a world controlled by evil Elements. This side's soft Celestia was expected to be weaker. A red and black beam strikes the white princess causing exactly zero damage by being absorbed into a shimmering gold barrier.

Celestia however has no desire to play around and her horn blazes, ready to end things. A crest of the sun depicted on her cutie mark appears below Twilight and the scorching heat accompanied by blinding light bursts upwards leaving black marks on the ceiling.

"I am sorry, my dear student."

"Oh don't be like that, I'm still here," says Twilight with a small smile.

From the showing of power she now knows she's a better mage than Celestia. Not in terms of power, nowhere close, but faster and capable of more technical magic. The Neighcronomicon and the Alicorn amulet are there to balance the power difference.

The protective barrier appears again when Twilight's spell takes the form of a glowing red cage which begins shrinking and fails to stop it. When the princess focuses and pours more energy into the shield, Neighcronomicon opens mid-air, glowing brightly, and dissolves the shield causing a pained shriek from the princess when the feedback of released energy burns her inside.

Hearing the scream, several guards enter the throne room and take Celestia's side. Twilight puts her equipment aside. Overusing the artefacts would only mean her enemies would be prepared for them next time. She fakes an exhausted look and sits down.

A golden barrier appears around her, imprisoning the unicorn inside. Celestia looks outside as if she heard something.

"Keep her here and call my sister, I must take care of something that can't wait."

With that she teleports behind the magical barriers around the throne room and begins flying towards the place she felt Void's power being used a short while ago.

Minutes later, Luna is roused from sleep by two extremely uneasy guards. Her bodyguard has got a day off so she has to rely on the normals. After few unsuccessful attempts at explaining the situation, she ignores the guards and rushes to the throne room to find out the state of things herself.

Seeing the attacker from Nightmare Night imprisoned by her sister's barrier is enough to wake her up completely.

"What are you doing here?" asks Luna.

"Nightmare Moon, It has surprised me before that Celestia kept you alive after your loss to the Elements."

"We are princess Luna. Nightmare Moon exists no longer."

Twilight raises both her eyebrows at the difference between both worlds. Luna is a much more dangerous enemy than Celestia thanks to not having her inhibitions and she actually has no idea about the extent of Luna's power.

"Interesting. How are you getting on with Celestia?" she asks innocently.

"We will be asking the questions here."

"So uptight. You're definitely worse than her."

Luna ignores her remark. Scream did fortunately give her something to ask about.

"Why do you want the Element of Magic?"

Twilight is surprised yet again but she just lies down on the floor and pretends to relax.

"Let's wait for your sister with that. I think I underestimated her a little," says Twilight and gestures to the glow around her.

Luna turns to one of the guards.

"Where did my sister go?"

The guard explains.

"I don't know. She just suddenly left and told us to call your highness and guard Twilight Sparkle here. What's going on?"

"This isn't Twilight Sparkle-"

"WROOOONG!" interrupts Twilight causing Luna to roll her eyes.

"Just don't listen to anything she says and stop her from leaving at all costs. Also, send somepony to contact Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville."

Luna is worried about her sister's absence. There is only one thing that could have happened to make Celestia leave the intruder here. Summoning her powers, she leaves for Void's location protected by her anti-scrying magic.

"Well that worked out better than expected," says Twilight aloud when she's sure both princesses are away. Time is ticking now.

"What?" asks the closest royal guard.

"This," says Twilight as an explanation and summons her book again.

Immediately, the royal guards begin glowing from their respective protection spells and preparing their weapons. Twilight isn't unnerved by the sight of ten spears aimed straight at her and just smiles pleasantly.

In the next second the barrier disappears and along with it the magical glow around the guards. With the clutter of weapons falling on the ground and screams of ponies affected by the feedback pains, Twilight leaves the throne room unopposed and sets on the way to the castle vault.

The security is a joke. Twilight knows the state of affairs though as before Sombra's coming to power it used to be very similar in her world. Now, however, any guards failing in the same way as the ones in the throne room would have faced a painful death in the Apple family arena. She visited that place few times for fun but was still sad at seeing what's become of her friend Applejack, now the bearer of the Element of Destruction.

The vault is completely unguarded as there is no greater protection than princess Celestia's magic itself and the ancient locking mechanism. It's time to find out whether Scream's plan will continue without a hitch or not. The help of the golden alicorn after Twilight's failure in the Crystal Empire was unexpected but even now it's the only thing keeping her alive since she's so useful to king Sombra. An irresistible sniffle comes out as she remembers Shining Armor's heroic, but ultimately pointless, sacrifice to save princess Cadence.

Time to find out whether the magic combination lock works the same way as the one in her castle. Twilight inserts her horn into the hole in the middle of the vault door and begins weaving the magic pattern neccessary to open it.

The lock clicks and the fragmented door opens, revealing a chest with six pieces of jewellery. Scream warned her about trying to use more than one Element so she doesn't even bother checking out the ones without her cutie mark. With her target in her hooves, she doesn't waste energy on ending the travelling spell prematurely and just sits down, dripping nervous sweat.

* * *

Princess Celestia arrives at the temple hosting the Cult of Luna with the remains of Void's magic hanging in the air. Unfortunately it's empty. Did they fool her? After using magic to scan the area, she finds out there are only few batponies somewhere in the basement. The trail is cold.

When she returns to the throne room, she finds only a group of shivering guards on the floor. Despite distinct lack of her sister and Twilight Sparkle, she manages to suppress the urge to begin shouting Luna's name blindly. She examines the guards and identifies the same magic which was used against her earlier.

With the events of Nightmare Night, she decided it would be best to keep the Elements safe and separated from their bearers to keep them out of danger. She realizes her mistake now but only puzzlement remains when she reads what's written on a small piece of paper in the unlocked vault.

"Hide the rest as well as possible. This one will undo your failure," is the message.

* * *

Luna returns to the castle after talking to Void and Choking Darkness with her head full. Despite Scream's paranoia, Luna now believes the only way to move forward is to share her knowledge with her sister.

Void has never been a good liar and while it's much more difficult to read other alicorns, she didn't feel anything wrong during her visit at Choking's place. What bothers Luna more is that she probably should have unleashed her full destructive power in Ponyville and sacrificed few villagers to wipe out the threat once and for all.

Hesitantly, she decides that a united front is their only chance and visits Celestia's chambers. She knocks on the door covered with sun symbols and carvings much similar to her own in a way with two royal guards standing in front of it.

"Come in," comes from inside.

Worried, she takes a breath to bolster her courage and immediately gets the breath knocked out of her when Celestia rushes to her and gives her a bear hug.

"Huh?" reacts Luna.

"Thank heavens you're all right. I thought Twilight did something to you."

Luna is still slightly confused but the embrace of her sister is warming and calming.

"I'm sorry I left her only with the guards but I had something important to take care of."

That pokes Celestia's attention.

"What could that be?"

Luna sighs, she didn't realize how worried Celestia was and doesn't want to bother her any more. Perhaps it can wait.

"Can we leave it for tomorrow?"

"Fine, but don't make me worry like that again."

"It was important, you will see."

"You and your secrets," smiles Celestia.

"As I said, you will see. Just free up your schedule for tomorrow, you have a story to hear."

"I will."

"By the way, where did that Twilight go?"

"She stole the Element of Magic and disappeared."

"WHAAAT?"

"Tomorrow, tomorrow," says Celestia with a mysterious smile. She has a distinct impression that things aren't what they seem. Perhaps Luna's disappearance will give her an important clue.

"Alright. Good night, sister."

"Good night, Luna."

Even with everything working out somehow, Luna is scared. Tomorrow she will lead Celestia to Void in hope of creating at least a temporary alliance. If by any chance it fails, she might have to face her toughest challenge yet - the wrath of her sister.


	48. Hope Dies Last: Closer

[Choking's Entry]

I think I'm falling for Void. He is completely different from anypony else I've ever known. Wise, calm and fatherly (I don't mean it like that), he is like the pony of my dreams.

[End Entry]

* * *

My now familiar black pillow is snoring weakly and my waking up earlier than him shows that Void's use of power yesterday was more of a blow than he let show. He's usually been up early and making breakfast, speaking of which...

I could make something for him. I mean I'm no cook but some omelettes shouldn't be too difficult. With my experience ranging from nothing to absolute zero, I remember there is a cookbook stashed somewhere in the kitchen, a gift from some thoughtless coltfriend who believed our fling would last.

Finally finished with my morning bathroom rituals, I begin the search for the fabled manual of cookery which proves elusive for the longest time and I whistle at the realization that all Void's previous cooking was done from memory.

"Oh, there it is," are my final words before entering the state of extreme concentration required to make eggs sunny side up. With the book in front of me, I look for a second like a griffon grandmaster getting ready to fight a pack of hungry lions with his paws and talons. The lions seem an easier opponent though after finding out that there are enough eggs for only one attempt. Braving the unknown world of basic cooking, I set out on the path of enlightenment.

* * *

A scream wakes up Void, making him slightly disappointed it wasn't Scream but after revising his exhausted body his libido gives up and returns thinking privileges to the brain. A strange smell lingers in the air but worries about his safety aren't the order of the day. The alarm clock is showing nothing after yesterday's fatal encounter with his grumpy morning self but the light coming through the window proves that the day is already in full swing. There is no sign of Choking anywhere around and a smoke reminiscent of him using his own power is billowing through the living room. Void rushes to the kitchen which seems to be its source.

* * *

My cooking attempt is going fine until it's suddenly not going fine. I just don't know what went wrong.

When Void barges into the kitchen I'm just sitting there in crushing despair, covered in white goo and sobbing quietly. Clouds of smoke are originating from the bubbling black mess on the frying pan and there is a small, black creature patting me on the back, trying to make me feel better. It stops when it sees Void.

"How did you manage to summon a lesser imp by COOKING?" says Void in disbelief, still trying to understand the situation.

"I-I just wanted to make something nice for you and... and... WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" my sobbing turns to open crying.

Void grins as his memory shows a golden alicorn casting fireballs at a loaf of bread to make toasts faster.

"There there," he hugs me and then turns towards the little demon sitting on the cooling stove, "and you get out!"

The demon disappears in a puff of smoke adding the smell of sulfur to whatever miasma is already floating in the apartment and leaving Void to deal with me, fortunately he has got enough experience with such situations.

"Come on, let us get you clean... and scrubbed," he says.

I'm stuck between sulking and depression but when Void levitates me on his back and carries me to the shower I just sqeak surprisedly and let him get on with it.

With warm water flowing on us, Void begins trying to get out the goo from my coat, with very little success.

"What IS this stuff?" he asks when his repeated attempts only cause me to yelp in pain.

"It was supposed to be your breakfast."

"I am sorry to tell you I do not eat industrial grade adhesives."

"I just wanted to do something for you for once."

"I did not think I have angered you enough to feed me this," he takes a stab at me with a smile.

"Come on, the eggs were going just fine before... stuff happened."

"Speaking of which, do you have anything to get the... ehm, eggs out?"

Despite his careful attempts, my coat is still sticky.

"I would tell you but I intend to get a bit more dirty first," I turn towards him and wrap my hind legs around him and my front legs around his neck.

I've never experienced something like this with any of my young coltfriends who were useful only for one thing and then usually fell asleep. My kiss attempt is answered and his hooves begin answering every call of my body and when it all becomes too much to handle, I bury my face in his chest and refuse to let go until even the smallest shivers die down.

I'm not selfish though. Answering in kind, I go lower and focus on his nether regions with enough gusto and experience to make him moan and respond to my every move. In the end he just makes my mane messier and stickier than before.

"Well how am I supposed to clean that?" asks Void after breathing out.

"Let me worry about that. Can you make something to eat in the meantime? I'm afraid my cooking could make a zebra witch doctor cringe."

"I can teach you to cook something simple, we have enough time."

"Maybe later. I'm not gonna waste my day off by doing something useful."

"So what do you want to do today?"

"Rest a bit and then we could continue out little... activity."

"I am a stallion, not a machine."

"Don't tell me you and Scream have never done it the entire day."

"It HAS been a while though."

"It's no use resisting. I'll be calling the shots today."

Void sighs in fake resignation.

"Fiiiine, just give me five minute breaks from time to time."

"Can't promise!"

"Just clean yourself up and I will see what can be done about the kitchen."

And so the mighty avatar of death sets on his own path of advanced cleaning and alchemy required to dissolve some eggs.

* * *

"When you said you wanted to read something I did not think it would be this," says Void, skeptically looking at a small book I pulled from my sad and almost empty bookshelf.

"Scared?" I grin at him.

"I do not think legs can bend that way," Void's ears splay back as he opens the 'Ponesutra' at random and examines a picture on the page.

"Oh c'mon. Don't tell me you've never done anything like that with Scream."

"I have to admit she is pretty flexible but this might require a threesome, preferably with a chiropractor."

"I like the way you think, know anypony interested?"

Void keeps exploring the limits of pony body presented in the book with horrified fascination.

"Perhaps somepony with the knowledge of baking pretzels? This is not physically possible."

"Don't be such a baby, I think I'm good enough to make shattered spine worth it."

"Well somepony has high opinion of her opinion," Void takes a stab at my impenetrably good mood.

"Too bad. My place, my rules."

Void shakes his hoof theatrically.

"Damn you, need for shelter and food!"

I burst out laughing.

"It's time to pay your fair share, mister stallion!"

The positions in Ponysutra keep on increasing in complexity as the book goes on so an exploratory flick of a page towards the end of the book just makes Void gulp. He shows the picture to me.

"Just not this one, please."

My wide eyes resembling a filly opening her birthday presents warn him he might have made a terrible mistake.

* * *

Twilight Sparkle gets out of the noon train to Canterlot and stretches her wings. It's one of the things she dislikes about them, they have their uses though. Through flying sessions with Rainbow Dash every morning she is now able to cover a fair distance faster than on hoof and without the unnecessary expenditure of magic through teleportation. Few ponies on the platform are watching her but there is no unwanted attempt at conversation. Perhaps the princess thing is somewhat useful after all. She takes to the skies and heads towards the castle.

Two guards stop her at the castle entrance for the first time in her memory.

"Identification, please!"

"Eeh, Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia's student?"

"Have you got anything to prove that?"

Twilight spreads her wings and her horn glows. The guard step back nervously.

"Sorry, princess. There has been some trouble recently involving purple unicorns."

"Really, what sort of problems?" asks Twilight with interest, remembering her Nightmare festival.

"I don't really know but some of our guys were attacked by you... I mean, eeeh, your Highness' lookalike."

"You don't have to be so nervous. It wasn't me."

"I know, your Highness."

"Could you stop with the titles? Now you're making me nervous."

"Of course, your- ehh, majesty, princess..." the guard trails off having no idea how to correctly address royalty who doesn't want to be addressed correctly.

Twilight just sighs.

"Can you let me pass then? I'm here to meet princess Luna," she asks, noticing the other guard on duty disappeared.

"I'm sorry, princess. You have to wait until my colleague comes back with an escort for you," says the guard, looking more and more depressed.

"It's alright. I promise not to go evil in the meantime," tries Twilight to uplift the nervous guard's spirit with a smile.

Through the guard's eyes, the smile seems like one of a shark ready to devour its prey. He begins shaking.

"You don't have to be nervous around me. I probably have less experience with being close to a princess than you."

Her second attempt is better than the first one but just barely, leaving the guard somewhere between dread and pure terror. Fortunately the other guard returns soon with a batpony.

"Sorry for making you wait, princess," the guard and the batpony bow, "Biscuit here will show you to the princess' chambers at once."

"Thank you," says Twilight, "Good job, guys."

The two golden guards just bow again and the batpony gestures her to follow him.

"Why were they so nervous?" asks Twilight when they are walking up one of many castle stairways.

"The gate guards are usually newbies or low rank ponies. You are probably the first member of royalty to speak with them, princess," says Sharp Biscuit in calm voice.

"What happened to the security here, anyway. I've lived here most of my life and it's never been like this except for the changeling invasion."

"I don't really know but there was some commotion in the throne room yesterday and some guards were hurt. I suppose that's why princess Luna asked for your presence."

"Probably."

They pass a pair of silver-armored Nightguards who salute. Biscuit returns the gesture and Twilight, unsure what to do, waves at them as graciously as she can. Compared to the others, Biscuit feels different and familiar to Twilight.

"Have we met before, what's your full name?"

"Sharp Biscuit, princess Luna's personal bodyguard. We met at the Nightmare festival in Ponyville, your Highness."

"I'm sorry, I really should remember these things now, right?"

"It's fine. Your duty puts you in contact with many different ponies. You can't remember every single one so just do your best and-" he stops, realizing who he is talking to.

That's just what Twilight needed though.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, princess," he knocks at the ornate door appearing just as they round a corner.

Biscuit bows, Twilight nods back at him and waits until Luna comes out.


	49. Hope Dies Last: Answer

[Choking's Entry]

Alright, that damn book must be fake or the ponies inside are made of rubber.

[End Entry]

* * *

"Owowowowowowowow," is my scream muffled by me biting a pillow, this time the real one.

"I told you that one must have been just author's imagination," answers Void, massaging my hindquarters and gasping in pain himself from time to time.

"But it looked so easy in the picture," I whine.

"Paper bends easier than bones. I knew those legs had to be surgically altered."

We didn't get far into the book despite trying really hard and enjoying every step up to the point when even my limber body reached its limit and with a snapping noise sprung backwards and almost knocked out some of Void's teeth.

"Owwwwwww," I groan to the pillow again when Void touches one of my bruised spots.

"I am as gentle as I can. Do you have some cream or pills for the pain?"

"Inside the living room table."

Void's hooves stop kneading my sore... everything and he leaves to get medical help.

"YAAAAAAAAH!" he screams in terror and I gather myself and wobble to the living room unsteadily.

There are three alicorns sitting at the table, drinking.

The purple one is blushing and covering her face with her hooves, the deep-blue one is trying to hide her grin in a cup of tea and the white one's expression is somewhere between worry and amusement.

"Wha-wha-wha gnngh?" is my completely understandable reaction.

"You were taking your time so we had to wait a bit. Tea?" asks Luna, still snorting.

"How?"

"You were loud enough for an army to come unnoticed," says Celestia. Whatever grudge she holds against Void, the situation is just too tempting.

Void's mouth keeps opening and closing without letting out a coherent noise. Noone can blame it though, the mind behind it isn't sending any coherent thoughts as well.

Mine and Void's gazes cross and he finally manages to talk.

"Yeah, we are boned."

"I wouldn't go that far," says obviously amused Celestia.

"Why are you here then?" Void's deep voice is calm now. There is absolutely nothing he can do in this situation so worrying is pointless.

Luna takes charge.

"Firstly, tell my sister the story you told me and answer truthfully everything she asks. Then we're going to visit Scream."

"I can't get in contact with her," says Void, causing Luna to raise an eyebrow. She apparently expected us working together.

"I will get us there."

"Before we do that, can anypony here perform some healing magic? We may have... overstepped our boundaries."

"And I believe some of the stricter Equestrian laws," interjects Celestia. Seeing Void as a normal pony is something unexpected for her and is making her reevaluate Scream's words.

"I'll do it, I could use some practice," says up to now silent Twilight.

"Practice?" I wince in expected pain.

"You reap what you sow," says Void smugly.

"Don't worry. I think most of your bones will stay inside your body," says Celestia with a mischievous smile.

"Stop scaring the nice girl, she is the reason I am in a decent shape," defends me Void.

"And I have yet to decide what to do with her for that," says Celestia, jokes completely forgotten.

Void narrows his eyes. Celestia notices that and continues.

"But let's leave that for after you tell us everything."

"The airspeed of an unladen swallow i-"

"Playing. With. Fire."

"I could not resist."

Void stops messing around and begins recounting our story. Celestia doesn't interrupt and just looks more and more thoughtful.

"Is it true?" she asks her sister.

"Everything they said is true from their viewpoint."

"Alright then. Void, why are you with this girl?"

"I need her to help me recover my body from Tartarus," says Void. After all, lying is impossible in Luna's presence and we are at the three alicorn's mercy anyway.

"And how were you going to do that knowing I would not grant you the access?"

"I do not really understand it myself but Scream told us to persuade the otherside Twilight Sparkle to take us back with her and help us."

"How?"

"No idea. Firstly, we do not know how to find her and secondly, we have no clue what she wants."

Celestia rubs her temples and sighs.

"Well, she wanted the Element of Magic and she's got it now."

"That explains a lot," says Void, nodding.

Luna and Celestia exchange glances and Luna nods towards suddenly crestfallen Void. We know his only chance to return is gone. Celestia gives her sister the 'I really hope you know what you're doing' look.

"Against my better judgement, I'm being persuaded to allow you to access Tartarus."

Our shocked silence is more than enough of an answer.

"BUT I will need something to guarantee your good behaviour. I am NOT letting history repeat itself," she continues.

"Such as?"

"A soulstone."

"No. Free will is something I am not willing to sacrifice even for my power. You are not sending me back every time I do something you do not like."

The definite answer is enough for Celestia to know that there will be no negotiation over this.

"You have to understand it's not for me but for Equestria. Just in case."

"You have to understand that it would be YOU holding me hostage and I do not trust you to stay objective and do what is best. Not after last time."

That irks Celestia.

"Oh really? I think not killing you was the easiest I could have gone on you."

"Is that how you remember it? Let me offer you a different perspective then. You were unable to kill me even with Luna and Scream would not help you so without even trying to talk or reason with me you used her to bait me into a trap."

"There was no reasoning with a mass murderer."

"You are right about that," admits Void, looking at the table.

Celestia is openly surprised. Void scratches his head and continues.

"I mean I probably would not have listened, at least not to you. I am not trying to say my deeds can be forgiven or forgotten but you did not even try to think about a reasonable solution and just left me to rot."

"In hindsight, that is true. I didn't even bother with trying to find a better solution. In my defense, it was an emergency situation."

"I am not denying that, I am just saying that that is the reason for my not trusting your judgement about my freedom. You will just have to take a leap of faith regarding me."

"So you're giving me nothing and want this much?"

Void closes his eyes, this is the breaking point.

"Yes, that is exactly what I am asking for."

"Fine. I have one condition though and that is not negotiable."

"Which is?"

"You will persuade Scream to tell us what we want to know. The price for her knowledge is your body."

"That sounds dirty."

"I'll take that as a yes. What about the girl then?" she points at me.

"I still need her. Firstly, not sleeping in a dumpster has its advantages and secondly, Tartarus has its own rules regarding its residents. I am not allowed to recover my whole soul by myself."

"I didn't know that."

"Your role is more that of a gatekeeper. I have extensive knowledge of that place."

"With that out of the way, can we go visit Scream?"

"You do realize I cannot force her to talk? Her sight and her dimension also have their rules."

"I know but this time we have her answers prepaid. Remember, three questions from everyone."

I interrupt.

"What? Last time we chatted like excited schoolfillies."

"There is no problem if Scream wants to talk to us but everypony who finds their way to her place has got the right to ask any three questions and she must answer if they pay the price," explains Void.

"The bones?"

"Sometimes but it is rare, that comes from her aspect. Her sight comes from her unrivaled magic power."

"Oh... including me?"

"I think we could expand the prepaid questions to include you. It all depends on whether my freedom is enough of a price for her though. Have you got something important to ask?"

"Maybe."

"Then are you ready for the trip?"

"Yea, I feel much better after princess Twilight's treatment."

Void looks at the blue princess.

"Then we are ready. Luna, take us away whenever you want."

It doesn't take long for Luna to gather enough energy to cast the spell and after a brief blurriness and a falling feeling we lay our eyes on the familiar piles of bones. On the middle pile there is a heap of golden fur moving up and down.

Twilight looks around and gasps when she looks at Void in his complete form. Much like me, she's probably never seen a male alicorn before.

"Well you've grown up," whistles Luna.

"You are a beautiful young mare yourself, Luna," compliments her Void.

"Young?" asks Twilight.

Celestia looks down to her student.

"Void is the oldest one here. He is the alicorn of Death, Destruction and Order."

"Exactly. When everything began, the alicorn of time was created by somepony or something or whatever. When the first wind began blowing through the emptiness of the world, the alicorn of wind was born. When the first living creature gained awareness of itself and changed the world to its liking, the alicorn of magic came. When that creature acted on instinct and mated, somehow, to have children, Scream appeared and when that creature died, I was there. Luna and Celestia here are very young as their birth came with ponies' realization of the importance of sun and moon as something else than huge balls in space. Finally, when ponies or griffons were able to feel true love, Cadence came to this world. There were others at some points in time and now that you are the aspect of magic it means that Magnus is no longer bound to this world," Void gives us a short history lesson.

A serious echoing voice cuts through the air.

"WHO DARES ENTER M-"

Scream's attempt at sibyllic revelation speech is cut off by a yawn of almost the same volume.

"Buck... what's up, guys?" continues Scream, rubbing her eyes.

"Can you come down here, we're here for some answers?" asks Celestia

A golden flame forms in front of us and turns into Scream.

"As long as you pay the price."

"About that. I'm willing to grant Void safe passage to Tartarus, would that be enough for you?"

Scream knows her way with words. There is something bothering her more than passage into Tartarus.

"And a way out?" she looks at Celestia with suspicion.

"That as well. There will also be no further repercussions for his deeds."

"Voidie, is it true?"

"I certainly hope so."

This messing around is slowly annoying Luna.

"It is true and it would serve you right to remember what started all this and leave mistrust and paranoia out of this for once."

"It wasn't MY failure to trust anypony else," hisses Scream back at her.

"I know, so trust us. Void will be completely free unless he does something stupid again."

Scream looks as if she couldn't be happier even if they offered her a cute kitten.

"Okay. I will answer what I can."

"That's three questions from each of us."

"Fiiiiine," she sighs.

Celestia is the first one to ask. There is something she was dying to know for a while.

"Is otherworld Twilight our enemy?"

A groan from Scream confirms that she hit the mark.

"Not exactly. She's Twilight Sparkle born in the world you screwed over by stealing all the good Elements so if she finds that out you may be in trouble."

"How does she intend to use the Element of Magic?"

"She needs every little bit of power she can get to stay herself on the other side and not become another one of Sombra's mindless minions."

"What is your goal in this?"

"Sort out the twin worlds, get Void into bed and generally correct your mistakes."

There really isn't much to argue about. Even with the friendly atmosphere I can physically feel Scream's enmity towards the sun princess.

Luna is the next one to ask. She probably wanted to get some answers for herself but decides to sacrifice them for greater good.

"What is the conflict you were talking about last time?"

"The other side is under control of king Sombra who wants the Crystal Heart on this side and they are getting ready for an invasion."

"How much time do we have?"

"I have no idea but I guess at least a month before minor skirmishes begin. A full-scale invasion would require creating a stable rift between worlds which they still can't do."

"In case this invasion happens, what chance do we have of stopping them?"

"None."

"What?"

"I think you don't understand your position. The otherworld Luna is dead, the otherworld Celestia is Sombra's broken buckslave and he also has got the entire world behind him with the power of corrupted Crystal Heart. Your Elements of Harmony are a bunch of kids who would faint at the sight of blood and can hardly control their power. There is literally nothing you can do at the moment."

Luna begins trembling but tries to hide it by nudging Twilight who is hesitating and I can't blame her. Every alicorn has got a unique aura and she's used to the princesses I guess. Being close to princess Celestia is like being slightly drunk, surrounded by your best friends or your family during Heart's Warming Eve and reminiscing about all the good things which happened during the year. Princess Luna's is a bit more chaotic but still lively with undertones of overwhelming wisdom. Princess Cadence just felt like somepony you can't hate, no matter the rift between you but I didn't have a chance to think about it during our only meeting. Princess Twilight is unremarkable but the air around her feels dusty, much like visiting the Canterlot royal library. Void's symbol is peace. After being with him for a while I understand it now. It's not fear of pain or pain itself which is the mark of death. It is the peace and calm of every bad thing being behind you, unable to touch you in the safety of final sanctuary. Much like when I was a little filly and my dad seemed to me like an all powerful monument keeping the entire family safe.

Scream is different. The first time I saw her I almost died of desire. Then she proved she can be caring and now she's terrifying with her unsurpassed knowledge. Something about her feels wrong though... fake.

Then it hits me. She's a liar. Despite her dimension forcing her to answer the questions I remember the stories about genies and their wordplay.

"Don't worry, ask anything you want," smiles Scream at Twilight, seeing her hesitation.

"Ehm alright. Why is the other Twilight so powerful? I mean me and princess Luna weren't even able to touch her during the festival."

"Don't take my next words personally, Twilight Sparkle. You have been trained by Celestia in a world where all negative divine forces are either gone or greatly diminished. Your world hosts five good Elements which bend it towards their nature. Discord, while petrified by them was still able to wreak havoc on the other side and had to be stopped by ones ready to deal with him without the Elements. The final old god, Nightmare, only manifested itself in a form of possessing Luna and your friend Rarity, who were protected by the good Elements. Nightmare's power was much greater in the other world where the Element bearers had to kill Nightmare Moon and thus seal their fate connected to evil. In short, she was very similar to you but when the Element of Magic manifested here, her life became much harder than you can imagine - no more friends, no free magic power from the Element, only studies, practice and fighting for her life. With the difference between you two, I took her under my wing, taught her magic and that's why she's so strong."

"She said some terrible things about Trixie and the alicorn amulet, are they true? Am I that twisted inside?"

"Your nature is similar but guided by opposite Elements. Deep inside she is you but her upbringing may have been a bit stricter here and there and her inhibitions are much less puritanical. Just trust me when I say that considering what's been happening since Sombra's return, she is as good as one can get. Also, she really did kill Trixie during the magic duel to get the alicorn amulet."

Seeing how Twilight took her answer, Scream adds.

"It's not really about what you think or feel inside. In the end it's about what you choose to do."

"Is there really no chance of winning against them?"

"Your Elements require cooperation and the ability to use them repeatedly at will while being in group. Their Elements are at their best when wielded by one pony and are much easier to use. You would need years of practice but yes, you would eventually be stronger than them by a lot. Unfortunately time is our greatest enemy at the moment."

Void is the next one to speak.

"Come on. You would not engage in this without having a backup plan, so... Blazing Light?"

"That's why I love you, baby. He was the one I wanted to send to the other side to try and get enemy Element bearers one by one but I have no idea where he is. The resurrection spell left me kinda tired and now I can't see him anymore. In his artificial body, he doesn't belong to either of the twin worlds so transporting him permanently is possible. Now I really have nothing on the board aside from Twilight and I don't want to reveal her. So... I'm just waiting and watching."

"Is there any way I can help?"

"Get your body and as much power as possible back, then we'll talk."

"Am I right about Celestia?"

This one takes a bit of searching and the focused gazes of the sisters aren't helping.

"I... don't think so but maybe it will be fine if you just are where you're needed."

Void smiles at his love and Scream returns the favor, then she looks at me.

"It's your turn, kiddo."

"Eeeh. Is it too much to ask for my things to stay private?"

"No, two questions remain. Just kidding," Scream's horn glows and there are only the two of us left. Luna may be very skilled but she still has very little on Scream.

I blush, I'm not really concerned about the future and big things like kingdoms falling but that only means my questions are personal.

"I think I'm falling for Void, do you mind if I borrow him for some time?"

"That's up to him but didn't you have a thing for Blazing Light?"

"I don't know, I was a real mess at the time because he died mostly thanks to me but now... Void just seems like everything I could want from a stallion."

"Yes, he is. I really advise you to talk to him about this. If you are worried about my blessing or whatever then have fun and invite me from time to time. I think you may be thinking about this the wrong way though. Damn, Voidie would explain this better than me."

"The second question... in case Blaze is alive. Do you think we would work together?"

"I can't see the future... much, so the best thing would be to just try and see. I don't understand why you ponies are so scared of trying something new when it doesn't have any lasting consequences, especially when your lives are so short. He is fairly similar to when Void was young though albeit for very different reasons so if I had to hazard a guess then I'd say your relationship would be either really good or absolutely awful."

"Eh and the last one. I have this book at home and some of the positions seem impossible to do, is there a way to stretch more and is it worth it?"

"Heh. I was the inspiration for some of the poses myself and they are all possible and DEFINITELY worth the time."

"You? Why did Void have problems with even the basic ones then?"

"The book isn't more than few hundred years old and I don't think Tartarus was a good place to stretch and practice."

Then it clicks to her.

"You've tried already?"

"Eeeeehm."

"Oh when I lay my hooves on both of you in private, you're gonna get it."

"But-"

"Fast and furious."

"But you said-"

"I mean we're going to have a calm and civilized tea party with some innovative tea drinking techniques."

I close my eyes and burst out laughing and when I open them again I'm standing back in my apartment.

"What is the plan, then?" asks Void.

Celestia takes charge.

"Twilight, take Spike and go to the Crystal Empire as soon as possible. You must warn Shining Armor and Cadence."

"What about my friends?"

"I'll leave that up to you. They are safe now and taking them with you might put them in danger but they might prove necessary. This is a decision you will have to make as a princess as much as as their friend. Me and Luna-"

Luna interrupts.

"-will take care about rounding up the military forces from various cities. I think Scream might be underestimating us a little but she's got a point in the experience difference."

"What about us?" I ask.

Princess Celestia continues.

"I was getting to you. I will arrange your passage after warning the main military bases. In the meantime just rest and get to the best shape you can."

"Any timeframe?" adds the deep voice of Void.

"If I had to make up an arbitrary, meaningless number I would say about two weeks."

"Understood."

With everything on the table, the princesses leave us alone.

The two weeks full of rest, relaxation and unbridled gymnastics are enough to show me what I've always really wanted from a coltfriend so when one morning a knocking at the door of my apartment wakes me up I have only one answer.

I shake my head and answer the broken unicorn-changeling.

"I'm really sorry, Blaze."


	50. Hope Dies Last: Leaving

[Blazing's Entry]

I would be lying if I said the rejection didn't hurt but it definitely didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. My guess is that deep down I wasn't expecting anything else anyway despite hoping for... what? Settling down with one nice and lively batpony and having a relationship full of comical mismatch between the two of us?

Nonsense, just pointless dreams and hopes. At least there's nothing holding me here anymore and I can give everything without hesitation for Equestria.

... screw Equestria. It will never be about Equestria.

[End Entry]

* * *

After hearing Chokey's reply I just smile to myself and say to the empty air:

"Beam me up, Scream."

With our 'misuderstanding' last time I left my swords in her dimension so she would be able to teleport me back easily after finishing the only thing left. This time I'm ready for the blurriness and don't stumble when the relocation is over.

_Drinking time?_

Somehow I don't feel like it.

_Super important mission critical to the survival of Equestria as we know it time?_

Yep, no time for mares anyway.

_Wohoo, we're halfway home._

Heh, life sucks and, apparently, so does afterlife.

"How did it go? Did she finally swoon and wrap around your neck as her knees gave up?" asks Scream, lights flashing in her eyes.

"Not in so many words."

"Oh," the bronze alicorn's expression actually turns sad.

"Well, I didn't really expect anything but the closure is nice."

"Awwwww, don't say that. Wanna forget everything with legs of a beautiful mare wrapped around you?"

No matter how tempting the proposal seems, sex is the last thing on my mind now especially after past two weeks.

"Nah, I don't want to re-learn using the toilet and reading. Can I just get some rest? I mean I'd have to think really long and hard about choosing between you and saving the world but I'm still drained from travelling with Chrysalis so saving the world it is."

A refreshing breeze without a point of origin begins swirling between the bone piles on one of which I lie down and relax.

"Too bad, maybe later if you have time with all the groupies humping the legs of savior of Equestria."

"Overselling much?"

"Welllll yea. Alright, I need you to kill some ponies in the mirror world of Equestria otherwise they will invade our one and enslave everyone, ponies, griffons, kittens."

"I'm not a murderer."

_Ehm ehm._

The last thing I need right now is remembering my accidentally killing my mother.

"You can say that not doing so will cause the deaths of millions."

_More theatrics, please._

"Bleh... lesser of two evils?"

"Five evils, to be exact. But I don't expect you to get so far which means if you actually manage to kill your main target you'll do enough."

"Your trust shames me."

"Don't be like that. Your enemies are the Elements of Harmony and destroying just one of them is a victory. Thankfully, you've managed to secure some items which could help you so I don't have to send you there naked."

"Wait, can't you just send an army into the heart of the enemy or summon me an almost invincible body like you did last time?"

"Of course I can. I do this just because I'm incredibly bored and I forgot about such simple measures."

_Well that was a sarcasm capable of shattering mountains._

"Alright then, what help can you be?"

"Aside from the teleportation, not much. Permanent transportation doesn't allow using items bound to one of the worlds which means only your artificial body created here and your two weapons imitating the Elements can pass without getting pulled back eventually."

"So... no food, no gold and no help?"

Scream shrugged.

"Pretty much. I still can't force you to do this so are you in?"

"I'm not going back on my word. Can I at least choose where you drop me off? By the way, why isn't my eye healing with this super awesome body?"

"What or who did it to you?"

"Void."

"Oh. Yeah that's not gonna heal... ever. The touch of true death is irreversible. Even if was able to remake the body right now your soul would reject the working eye. As for your second question, I can drop you off at one of the Element's location."

"Tell me about those then. Are they the same ponies as here?"

"Mostly. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Spike."

"The small dragon?"

"I'll get to it. The one I really need you to take care of is Applejack. Her Element is Destruction and she's the one most attuned to it. She runs a pretty interesting arena in Ponyville with herself as a reigning champion."

"Why her?"

"In truth I think she's the only one you can handle. She has no advantages over you in wings or special abilities and you should be able to mitigate her Element's effect."

"I noticed you didn't say something better like negate, nullify or destroy in one big blast along with her."

"The swords are just imitations, not a real Element so they can't protect you fully from the real thing. This should be just a big brawl which I'm hoping you can win with this body and the swords."

"And the others? In case I surprise you and don't randomly explode during the first contact. Also, this body's not working exactly well for... some reason."

_She's got an unrelenting libido, not a rotting brain._

"Overfed my little changeling queen? I'll take a look at what I can do when we finish here."

She thinks for a second and continues.

"The other viable target might be Rainbow Dash. She's the Element of Betrayal which thankfully doesn't do much itself and just amplifies the user's natural abilities. She also lives in Ponyville."

"So what DOES it do?"

"It will tempt you to abandon your mission and so on. I think betrayal is self-explanatory."

"Then why is Rainbow Dash still serving the enemy? Can't we recruit her?"

"Only to have her betray us? No, she must die. You can't destroy the Elements themselves so you must get rid of their bearers. Also I don't think anypony serves Sombra voluntarily."

"Okay, what about the pegasus herself?"

"She relies mostly on her incredible speed, aside from that she isn't as strong or tough as Applejack."

"Why are these guys so important? If they are mostly just enhanced ponies, why can't the army deal with them?"

"Well, you will be quite well protected from their special abilities but Applejack can shatter mountains and Rainbow Dash can create sonic waves and drafts strong enough to put a tornado to shame. Conventional forces will mean very little if the enemy manages to get to our Equestria and no magic will stand against the power of Elements of Harmony."

"Not even you or the princesses?"

"I will not enter the conflict directly. My special power is mostly useless for these situations and all magic will be countered by Sombra himself so our effect wouldn't be as devastating as it should."

"So it's up to us little ponies?"

"I'm doing what I can and so will you. Without me, we wouldn't know anything and would fall the moment the invasion happened."

"What about the other Elements then?"

"Spike the Dragon, the Element of Greed. What do you know about dragons? "

"They fly, breathe fire, eat gems and their scales make excellent armor."

"Good, all the important things. Dragons also gain power and grow in size as long as their greed keeps getting satisfied. When Sombra found out about a dragon greedy enough to grow quickly and achieve unprecedented amounts of power, he took away Rarity's Element and gave it to Spike who proved to be an even better bearer. Unfortunately, controlling such beast is impossible even for Sombra so he used Spike's love for Rarity and gave her to him as a toy."

_Here's your chance to get a mare. Grow big and be an unstoppable force of destruction._

I knew I should have drunk more milk when I was young.

_That gives you a chance though. Saving the damsel in distress and slaying the big, bad dragon._

There is no way I can kill a dragon, but a defenseless pony toy?

_You're kidding. Who said he wasn't a murderer just few moments ago?_

The dragon should begin raging and cause enough damage before falling.

_You would really kill a defenseless mare?_

I don't know, I probably won't even make it to that point.

"Where is Rarity?"

"Spike is holding her in his cave in the mountains near Ponyville. I warn you though, there is nothing you can do to him."

"What about the final two then?"

"Avoid them at all costs, I mean it. At least until Applejack is dead, then you can throw away your life as much as you want."

"What's so bad about them that they are worse than a great dragon?"

Scream takes a moment to think about how to put it in the most understandable way.

"The problem isn't that they are strong but it lies in their special abilities. Pinkamena Diane Pie bears the Element of Suffering and works as Sombra's head torturer. Even our Pinkie can alter reality to create items and appear virtually out of nowhere and Pinkamena can do this in a much more powerful way."

"Fluttershy is the worst of them all because her ability makes my attempts at getting information much more difficult. The Element of Imprisonment can take away your free will and completely enslave you without a chance for release. It also makes her impossible to fight because even looking into her eyes spells doom for the one caught by her."

She shakes her head.

"Those two are always by Sombra's side so they are currently in the Crystal Empire performing their duties. That's why I want you to start in Ponyville and not in the heart of enemy forces and fight the most dangerous enemies right away."

I ponder my bleak future. That's what I would call going out on a high note.

_Sacrificing your life in order to do what little you can to save the world, what's not to like?_

That usually requires being able to do at least something. All I'm facing here is a horrible death in more variations than I can count.

_With the change in comparison to your normal life being...?_

Meh, that's true. Die or die trying?

_That's the spirit! If you don't want anything you won't be so disappointed when you don't get even that._

Wow. My head spits out some serious wisdom sometimes.

_I don't know. I'm mostly pulling it out of your ass._

Same thing.

"Will there be anypony willing to help me? I mean I got on fine with the changeling queen, maybe I could ask her?" I ask, and I use that word lightly, hopefully.

"Don't even think about it. Chryssie on our side is mellow compared to the one in the world shaped by evil Elements. You would be full of eggs even before you managed to say 'muh brain hurt'. You'll just have to rely on your wit and bravery."

"So, basically... I've got nothing. Fine then, can you take a look at this body then?"

"Sure, just rest. Is there anything else you want to know?"

She seems to know the changeling queen fairly well, maybe she might give me the answer to something which has plagued me for two long years.

"What am I?" I ask.

Between the faint flashing of her horn and her pacing around me she begins telling me a short tale.

"What do you know about alicorn insanity and the origin of changelings?"

"Hmmm... something about Nightmare Moon? As for the origin of changelings, not even Chrysalis could tell me about that."

"Yeah, even she's too young to remember. The thing is that being immortal gets very lonely from time to time and when we lose all hope while watching everything we love slowly die and wither away it is a devastating blow which results in acting up."

"Like trying to instill an eternal night?"

"Just like that. All of us got through that stage eventually and sometimes the effects were even positive and while I might be the only one, I consider Celestia's insanity a positive mark in history."

Somehow I can't imagine the peaceful princess going crazy.

"I'm not really sure I've ever read about something which would even hint at something related to her going crazy. She just seems to care about her subjects and maybe acts a bit overprotective from time to time."

"She is obsessesed with her ponies," Scream says flatly.

The story continues.

"There used to be more species of ponies than the four you know today and one of those species was adorned with beautiful butterfly wings. They were peaceful and all they wanted from life was freedom and some land to call their own but then Celestia happened. She wanted them to join her utopia and they believed her when she said everything would be okay if they gathered under her wings. It worked fine for some time but then the long war with Griffons happened. With ponies being unused to combat, Celestia needed everypony to participate and fulfill their role so Equestria wouldn't fall under the onslaught of claws and talons."

Scream shakes her head and stops examining my body.

"But said peaceful ponies were so averse to hurting another living being that they wouldn't even think about joining the army and so they gathered to leave Celestia's rule. That's where Starswirl the Bearded came in with an experimental spell capable of changing the fate of an individual which Celestia, going mad with fear for her pony project, meant to use on the leader of the rebelling pony species to make him into a weapon which would persuade the rest to defend her Equestria."

"And it...?"

"Was successful, too successful. When somepony of her raw power used it, the spell spread through the leader to every single pony of that species. Their butterfly wings turned to fly-like ones, their coats turned to armor and they grew fangs strong enough to crush steel and their lifestyle and abilties changed so they could reproduce quickly and make for perfect soldiers and infiltrators. The irony is that their respect for all life was so great that even after the forceful transformation all they could live on was love and other positive feelings."

"Changelings."

"It wasn't the only travesty Celestia performed with Starswirl's spell. Ever thought why batponies eat mostly fruit despite their bodies being so well designed for catching living prey? Yeah, that."

"So she can just remake anypony in any way she wants?"

"No. Truth be told, she's an awful magic user. She just possesses an incredible amount of magical power but her ability to direct it is pretty bad. Starswirl lived through most of these changes and after seeing what his research led to he scrapped the spell and burned all traces after him."

"She seems to be the heart of all problems despite her having the best interests of her land in heart."

"Well she did eventually come to her senses but after the wars there was no way to find changelings in hiding. So if you want to blame somepony for your form then blame Celestia and not Chryssie. She has no idea what her piece of magic was born from."

I sigh. All they wanted was a place to live in peace but they were drawn into somepony else's problems... heh, where have I seen that?

"So... why did you choose me? You could have chosen warriors or mages and you resurrected me. I just don't get it."

"You're wrong. I was able to to bring you back only because you died very recently and your lack of magical ability and the changeling curse made you an ideal candidate. You could say the main reason for choosing you was that you are tough."

"Heh... that's it?"

"Pretty much."

"I suppose I should be on my way if that's all?" I ask, still lying on my back on the couch pile.

"No rush, time is flexible in this dimension so you can rest until you are ready."

Closing my eyes, I feel burning heat pressing against my back and legs wrapping around me.


	51. Into The Abyss: Otherside

[Blazing's Entry]

As much as I enjoyed serving as Scream's pillow I decided to be on my way as soon as possible. In the end, her hugging me in sleep just reminded me of something I will never have.

On top of that I will actually have to kill somepony who has never harmed me in any way, somepony I've never even met... repeatedly.

It shouldn't bother me anymore though. After what I've done, there is nowhere to return.

* * *

Standing on vibrantly green grass outside of Ponyville, I take a deep breath and enjoy the sweetness of the air. After travelling through the depths of the Everfree Forest this place seems free and full of life despite me not seeing a living soul around.

The panorama of the small village is exactly the same I remember from travelling through it twice with the only exception being what looks like a huge colloseum surrounded on all sides by apple orchards. Considering how everypony knows everypony in villages like these moving around unnoticed will be impossible so I have to act like I have a good reason for being here...

...while looking like an ancient changeling.

_That might not be too bad._

Are you serious? We're talking pitchforks and torches at the first sight of my face.

_Maybe, maybe not. If the evil in this world is so rampant then you might pass as a monstrosity created by the main bad guy... Sombra was it?_

I like the way you think. Posing as an evil messenger might give me an upper hoof.

_So... what now?_

Scream's recon or not, I really don't want to gather too much attention in the arena. I think the pegasus might be a more reasonable target.

_I'm not sure attacking an enemy with the power of flight and mostly unknown abilites is the best course._

I doubt she'll be able to outfly two razors in the air which deter her Element-enhanced skills.

"Buck," I curse as I notice my double sheath is missing and both swords are lying on the ground.

_It's gonna be real simple asking locals questions while waving steel around._

It will. With two greatswords and damaged milky-white eye from Void's magic I really look like the bad guy here.

Making the swords follow me through the air for dramatic effect, I suppress my nervousness and enter the town while expecting the world to fall down on my head.

I'm wrong. While the town is emptier than I remember, there is still decent amount of ponies trotting around and vendors selling sweets and other things. The main threat here is my hunger for unicorn and changeling food. I approach a flower vendor - a reddish-pink maned earthpony specializing in roses as it seems from her cutie mark.

Damn, I have no money. Information will have to suffice then.

"Hello, miss. Mind if I ask where I could find a pegasus called Rainbow Dash?" I ask.

_Where did the 'hello, I am the left hoof of the lord of all evil' attitude go?_

I have to agree my question left a lot to be desired. Fortunately, the mare just gives me a look conveying a clear meaning of 'Are you a crazy pony? Nevermind, that is your problem'.

"I suppose she's either sleeping around, somewhere in the clouds, or eating at the Sugarcube Corner."

"Is that some kind of a restaurant?"

"It's the local bakery, they make great sweets for reasonable prices. A, erm, pony like you should go for a healthier snack though," she points in one direction and then gestures to her assortment.

"I'm not really hungry but thanks for the info," I lie, drooling at the sight of flowers presented on her counter.

"Glad to be of help."

I wave her goodbye and and leave in the direction she pointed. For an evil world full of evil and shaped by evil evil she seemed pretty evil... I mean nice.

_What did you expect, a prison island filled with drooling maniacs throwing rocks at one another?_

Yes?

That's a good point though. The world wouldn't work without normal ponies doing normal things which means that maybe only the ones touched by the evil I was warned about might be dangerous. Still, I expected a worse reaction to how I look.

_These ponies look as if they've seen much worse things._

Yeeeea... that's what worries me.

Some differences are possible to notice eventually though. Ponies move around faster and don't dawdle in one spot for too long meaning there are either stricter work rules or that the locals aren't as friendly with each other as they were in my world. With no guards in sight I suspect secret police or some local militia is keeping an eye on the situation. Failing to spot the rainbow-maned pegasus I finally find what looks like a giant sundae in building form. I open the door and go inside causing the patrons to go silent for a second and then resume their conversations albeit at a slightly lower volume.

_Good news, everypony! Nopony seems to be ordering a blood-caked icecream or a tentacled eldritch candy._

Grinning to myself for my lack of wit, I wait my turn in the queue while carefully watching the chubby blue earthpony mare working the counter. She's been looking at me since I came in and as the time of her serving me draws near she almost drops the orders of previous customers several times.

"What'll it be?" she asks with her professionalism trying to cover the apparent fear.

"Do you know where I can find a pegasus called Rainbow Dash?"

The 'crazy pony' look is about as familiar as annoying now.

_It seems that the Elements aren't as liked as our ones are._

"She should be doing her weather duty over the east part of Ponyville," she says, clearly annoyed at someone mentioning the pegasus' name.

"Is she causing trouble or something?"

"You couldn't find somepony lazier or more cocky if you tried to. Ehm... don't tell her I said that. I don't have the bits to repair the place again."

"Don't worry, miss."

"So, are you ordering something?"

"I would but I'm out of cash at the moment. Thanks for your help."

As I turn to leave, somepony taps me on the back.

"Wait a second," says the blue mare.

Few seconds later a small bag is presented by the shopkeeper.

"Eeeh.. thanks?" I half-ask, hesitant to take the gift.

"It's fine. You look like you could use a bit more meat on those bones, young stallion."

She leans closer and whispers.

"And don't forget to keep what I said secret."

I just nod and sit down to one of the tables to explore the bag. There are two donuts, just donuts with strawberry glaze, inside.

Poisoned?

_Possibly but I seriously doubt it._

Was Scream overreacting with the evil world full of evil ruled by pure evil.

_That's a lot of evil..._

Yea and the first two ponies I met were the nicest ones in existence.

_Perhaps it's going to go downhill from now? Just to make you happy._

I sigh and take a bite of the teeth-rotting donut. I'm usually right about terrible things going my way but the nagging feeling is slowly melting along with my teeth. The donuts are overly sweet and the excess energy from sugar will be useful.

_How are you going to kill a pegasus and can you actually do it?_

As I said, she shouldn't have that much advantage over me, she can't be faster than a levitating weapon and if I can get a first strike then she shouldn't be able to fly away either.

_I mean can you kill a mare?_

This again? I have to, I suppose don't have much choice.

_How do you know you can trust Scream?_

At the time I didn't really care. All I wanted was somepony to point me in some direction and tell me what to do.

_And she wants you to become a mass-murderer._

I did promise her to do it. And it's not so mass.

_Without knowing anything about this world. For all you know, you might be destroying the only defense against Scream's army of lust-crazed zombie ponies bent on bucking and then devouring the entire civilization._

If you put it that way I would actually do it just to see what would happen. Thanks for distracting me though... I just have to hope I'll find the right thing to do when push comes to shove.

After asking few more ponies about my target and finding out which way east is, I walk through Ponyville and keep an eye on the sky. The clouds are still hanging low over the town meaning Rainbow Dash still isn't done working or that she hasn't even started yet. The latter proves to be true when a snore, loud enough to rattle windows, rumbles through my ears and leaves no doubt about my target's location along with a rainbow colored tail hanging from one of the clouds.

I lick my lips and take few deep breaths to stop the sudden shaking of my legs.

_Showtime._


	52. Into The Abyss: Unforgivable

[Blazing's Entry]

I had to do it.

I had to do it.

I had to do it.

No matter how much I tell this to myself I have hard time believing it. The thing is that it might really have been the right choice.

[End Entry]

* * *

I levitate my swords towards the cloud and get ready to stab through it when a better idea comes to mind. In a flash of steel I swing the swords to disperse the cloud underneath Rainbow Dash making her drop like a rock mid-snore. The 'thud' is loud enough but with how low the clouds are hanging the fall only causes the pegasus to cough violently with breath knocked out of her.

Aware of my opponent's main threat in her speed I lower the swords and cross them close enough to her neck to shave her coat, careful not to slit her throat during the coughing fit. When silence rules again and Rainbow finally notices what's going on she freezes right on the spot.

"Rainbow Dash?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

"Not cool, dude. Not cool."

_Time to play it right._

"Sombrero wanted me to check up on you. Lazy as usual I see."

The pegasus presses her back to the ground at the mention of the crystal king.

"Hey, me and AJ have this place under control. There's no reason for worry. We are trustworthy and happy citizens and so are the ponies under our watch."

_She's terrified, or a really good actor._

All I want is to hug the pegasus and tell her everything is okay but there is too much at stake. I wave my hoof towards the cloud-ridden sky.

"Happy citizens are not born out of a disgusting sky like this," I say firmly, narrowing my eyes even more which forces a little yelp from the pegasus. The eye destroyed by Void must look really villain-esque.

"I can clear this sky in two seconds flat," ensures me the pegasus and a small, prideful smile appears on her face.

"Wasn't it supposed to be ten seconds flat?"

"Ya calling me a newbie?"

"Then do it, we have a mission to fulfill."

Ratnbow Dash salutes and immediately bursts up into the air with unnatural speed. The gust of wind causes few window shutters to rock and raises a cloud of dust everywhere except around me which, when Rainbow finally notices the area untouched by her enhanced abilities, illicits a weak 'eek' from her.

_She's done. You could say anything and the poor girl would believe it._

Yea. Even Rising Thunder wasn't this scared when I threatened him in his own house.

_So why are you still so sure you have to do this? The ponies are pretty nice here, RD is fairly likable even with the crazy piercings so why continue?_

I promised.

_You were lied to!_

I will be the one to pay the price but I will do this, or as much as I'm able to. Wait, my head was never this contradictory. I get it... betrayal.

_That was quick, little pony._

Then get out.

_I will, but remember one thing. I wasn't lying in any of the propositions._

That was way too easy but the voice of the Element doesn't press the issue.

The sky clears up faster than my healthy eye is able to see and few moments later the blue pegasus lands in front of me.

"See? Easy peasy. You can tell the king everything is fine, right?" she giggles nervously.

"That depends on your performance now. Take me to Spike!" I say in the most commanding voice I'm able to muster. Years of training newbie guards come to my help here.

"How do you-?" RD stops when she sees my raised eyebrow, a one hundred percent success rate move.

"To the cave, now!" I growl, hoping I guessed the dragon's and his slave's location correctly.

"Fiiiiine."

Rainbow grabs me with both pairs of legs and shivers when my swords glow from telekinesis. I make sure they are a visible threat to dissuade the pegasus from dropping me mid-flight or at least enable me to wound her fatally before dropping to my pizzafication.

I've never seen a pegasus able to carry another pony so far at such speed and I expect the Element to be at work here but whether thanks to my swords weakening her or the distance itself she's sweating and shaking when we finally land at a cave mouth close to the peak of Canterlot mountain. I have hard time keeping balance on my wobbly legs and derailing my thoughts from inevitable death by pancake but RD is tired and scared enough not to notice.

"Take a break. We'll be going back soon," I command.

"I'm not a pony to refuse free rest," smiles RD and her back smacks the ground in front of the cave.

As silently as possible, I creep inside the dragon cave using shadows as the only viable protection against something completely out of my league. A stroke of luck comes when I realize I've been hearing a repeating rumbling noise for quite a while already. If my suspicion is correct, then a dragon in this stage of growth considers his 'pet' a part of his treasure and keeps her with his hoard.

_That presumes Scream wasn't lying to you._

Even she didn't believe I would be stupid enough to try to deal with Spike. This will show her.

_Show her that you're good enough or dumb enough?_

Ha HAAA! We'll see that pretty soon.

With just few more steps, a massive cavern opens in front of me and a giant dragon wearing a jewel bearing diamond symbol on his claw snores out a puff of smoke. I focus on searching for anything resembling a pony and soon I can see a fat, white mare chained to the floor. With a collar on her neck, Rarity is watching the cave entrance. That might be an overstatement though... watching usually requires some semblance of will and her blank stare relays that there is none.

I keep shuffling towards her and thanks to the lack of horseshoes which I lost due to Scream's teleportation I manage to get to her unnoticed by the snoring dragon. With all my attention focused on the huge mouth I almost scream and sentence myself to death when a gentle touch carresses my leg. I bite my hoof to stop it and hear a silent giggle next to me where Rarity is watching me curiously.

"Who are you?" she whispers.

"My name is Blazing Light."

"That's a lovely name. Why are you here, mister Light?"

"I-" I hesitate.

"You must get out. I know that a handsome knight like you is just perfect for rescuing a lady but there is nothing you can do here. Nopony can help me anymore."

_Handsome... is she blind or something?_

Rarity notices the shocked expression on my face and smiles reassuringly, melting my resolve.

"I'm not here to help you," I breathe out and look at the ground, tears forming in my eye.

"Then why are you risking your life here, treasure?" she doesn't even seem disappointed to hear the truth.

It dawns on me that she knows full well her life was over the moment she was given away but her strength to face it all without breaking down is something putting me to shame. Someone like her deserves to know everything.

"I'm here to kill you to enrage Spike and turn him against Sombra otherwise his armies will invade my Equestria and enslave or kill everypony there," I whisper, not even trying to stop the tears hitting the ground.

"You do realize that all I have to do is scream and Spike will burn you alive?"

"I'm just a coward but seeing you being able to handle losing everything in stride... you just deserve to know."

"You are risking painful death for your country. That's not cowardice but the mark of a true knight."

"I wish I could say it's something noble like that but I can't. I'm just a dog pointed in a direction and released without knowing anything except who to bite."

"I find it hard to believe, dear. So... how do we do this?"

"What?"

"You think I like being chained here? Unfortunately I know my chances more than well so all I ask is for it to be quick and not messy, like some queen from old legends. I can't stand messy."

"You are the bravest pony I've ever met."

"A true lady can't be weak," says Rarity and assumes a proud pose, sitting on her hind legs and sticking her chest out.

I levitate the silvery greatsword towards her chest.

"Waitwaitwaitwait," whispers Rarity quickly.

The sword stops.

"I almost forgot about your reward, brave knight."

"I don't see a-"

"Be quiet! You are saving a fine lady from the dragon albeit by an... unusual method and she is still grateful for your deeds. Lean here!" her commanding whisper has more authority than any theatrics used by me on Rainbow Dash.

When I lean down, which doesn't take long since I'm just a bit taller than her, she kisses me on the cheek.

"Oh screw it!" she exclaims noiselessly and wraps her front legs around my neck while kissing me again deeply.

When it's over, Rarity carefully rearranges her messed-up mane and assumes her pose again.

"Don't lose heart now, mister knight," she says and closes her eyes.

The silvery sword flies up again, it is somehow more fitting for her than the ashen grey one, and it takes all my telekinetic powers to keep it steady.

"Goodbye," I breathe out and stab her cleanly, piercing her heart.

Slowly lowering the body not to make noise I bite my lip and creep out of the cave.

_That was..._

I know.

_She wasn't fat..._

I know.

_She was pregnant._

I... know.

"We are leaving," I tell Rainbow harshly after wiping my eyes.

"You dragged me all the way here for such short nonsense?" asks Rainbow, deeply annoyed.

"Yes. Now we're going back to Ponyville and then you can do whatever you please. I'll be going back north," I lie.

During our descent to Ponyville, Rainbow notices a colder patch on her side and examines it. I forgot to wipe Rarity's blood from the blade. She turns her head to look at my weapons and notices that the ex-silver blade is looking rusty.

"What did you do?" Rainbow asks and underlines the question by slowly releasing the grip on my body.

Her answer takes the form of two swords surrounding her neck.

"Take us down... slowly," I threaten.

"WHAT DID YOU DO? ...Rarity?" she shouts and then whispers when she realizes the only possibile outcome and releases the grip completely.

I try to stab her neck but completely underestimate the burst of speed and miss. Falling down to the fields on the outskirts of Ponyville I notice that Rainbow isn't better off. While my swords missed her neck, her acceleration caused them to shear her wings clean off and fall at meteoric speed to the ground.

Fortunately for me, we weren't flying too high and even without hardened armor the fall leaves me only heavily bruised. I get up and look around to take my only chance before the pegasus runs away.

Then I see her shape and know that running away is the last thing on her mind. Coughing blood and looking at the bleeding stumps of what used to be her wings, the rapid fall hurt her much more than me. With pegasi lower bone density allowing them to walk on clouds I have no doubt the impact must have shattered even the smallest of her bones.

Despite that, she tries to crawl away when I get closer.

"Leave me be! We don't want to do anything against the king, we are loyal!" she groans.

_Last chance to turn back, you've already managed something nopony expected you to._

That wasn't enough. The dragon will rage but there is no guarantee he will do enough damage to justify leaving this place now.

_You DO realize that there is no way to go back, right?_

What?

_The swords! Scream can't find you here even if you succeed. She sent you here to die._

Oh.

_You CAN end this peacefully._

I can't... not after what I did to Rarity. I don't want to.

I look at the defenseless pegasus. This is different than the cave where Rarity truly wanted her misery to end. This would be murder, no kill, no accident, just cold-blooded murder.

"I'm really sorry."

"What? You think that makes everything better? Get away from me! All we wanted was to live together and not get pulled into your war shit!" Rainbow screams.

I'm not dumb enough to approach a pegasus on her back and get kicked in any soft spot so I keep my distance and draw the swords closer.

"I'll try to make it as painless as possible."

"Go buck yourself! HELP! ANYPONY HE-" the scream ends in a gurgle and is cut short as her twitch causes me to miss her heart and pierce her neck.

To end the tortured bubbling noise, my next blow doesn't miss.

"RAINBOW! RAINBOW!" a familiar voice calls from the distance. It is somepony I'm desperately unprepared to meet in my current state so I crawl as far as I can among the wheat lanes and try not to throw up from everything that happened up until now.

When I realize I've been found it is already too late. Through tears I only see a mechanical gryphon claw getting closer and then a haze of red behind my eye and a burst of pain from my chest sends me to the ground.

"For torturing Rainbow, ya will rot in the arena, bastard, and Ah'll take care ya don't die too fast," is what I hear from the mechanically enhanced brown earthpony while lying between broken pieces of my chitin armor.


	53. Into The Abyss: Arena

[Blazing's Entry]

To my surprise I actually woke up after the encounter with Applejack. The wound she caused me isn't healing though as I have no way to gain energy for my changeling side and the purplish glow from the few runes on my legs has almost faded meaning the magic powering me was spent to keep me alive.

On the other hoof, the stew they feed us here is pretty tasty.

[End Entry]

* * *

The underground of the arena, which is where I guess I am from the occasional cheering coming from upstairs, is filled with cages serving as cells, each one hosting two prisoners. From what I was able to gather since yesterday they are used as gladiators here to amuse the population meaning they get fed fairly well not to make a weak showing.

My cellmate is a huge red stallion who doesn't seem to talk much. I wouldn't have imagined how chatty gladiators can be but the tales they tell to one another after each fight serve as a good way to pass time. I also wouldn't have guessed that the inhabitants of Ponyville would enjoy arena fights that much but the fighters range from volunteers to convicted criminals so while they die from time to time there wasn't a single one yesterday who failed to return.

There isn't much to do aside from waiting and I don't intend to waste what little energy I have left. The brown mud serving as food is more than enough to keep me going as a unicorn but to feed my changeling side I'd have to bite my cellmate which I'm saving as a last resort. My resurrection gave me another thing to worry about which is replenishing the magic in my body. I miss the good old days when eating few sandwiches during the day was enough to keep me healthy.

Well... there are things to do around here. While the interior of the large room itself is dim, lit only by scarce bulbs and torches, every cage does have a small lamp hanging from the low ceiling in the middle and even now there are ponies around who are reading books or even writing letters.

The other thing which is fairly difficult to ignore is what's going on in the cages where the main lamp is usually off. I haven't seen any mares around but the slapping of flesh on flesh and soft moaning gives me a good idea how long some of the guys have been here.

There is one last thing I don't understand - my swords are still here. Whoever dragged me here didn't feel the need to disarm me and my cellmate doesn't seem to be bothered by the fact of me being armed, not a pony and possibly dangerous meaning he's either really sure of himself, incredibly stupid or doesn't care what happens to him.

With the screech of an unoiled double door leading to the underground prison all sound fades and two things enter. I haven't seen beings like them before but something seems familiar. The things or beings are pony shaped and both have mechanical griffon arms instead of their front legs but unlike Applejack's enhancement that's not where the machine ends. Machine... yeah that's fitting. Said mechanical griffon arms instead of front legs, some form of steel legs resembling pony ones as their hind legs and plates of metal covering their entire body with what looks like electric cables and wires underneath. Steel whips instead of tails and helmet-like heads with glowing red crystals where unicorn horns would be explain full well why my appearance here wasn't even close to causing a comment.

Where have I seen something like that before?

_Nightmare Night. The airborne attacker._

True but that one was only partially mechanical or at least the griffon arm was the only thing I noticed at the time. The inscribed red horn-crystal was exactly the same though.

"What are those?" I whisper to a pony in the cell adjoining mine through the bars.

He shakes his head.

"You may have noticed that not all of us are prisoners here. Some of us just signed a contract and get paid while fighting and gain some recognition among ponies. I guess some youngsters think their scars will be enough to impress the ladies," he chuckles and continues.

"That's not true for the machines. You see... when there are ponies who committed really bad crimes or just something that really shouldn't be done the crowd doesn't decide their fate like in normal fights but they get to fight the reigning champion for their life. If they fail they get punished by losing parts of their body which are replaced by the biomachinery you see. Some of them see it as an opportunity to get stronger and eventually win against the champion to gain freedom but none of them has ever succeeded. Eventually they end up like broken husks without free will and serve the state."

Just like long-serving royal guards heh.

My brief amusement is cut short when the two Husks stop in front of my cell and unlock it.

"Your turn," says one of the identical machines in raspy voice sounding like poorly-tuned radio and looks at me.

"I wouldn't keep them waiting. Nice knowing you," says the informative gladiator with a sad smile.

They've made a huge mistake. My main target is willingly going to face me one on one while I'm armed and her Element won't help so even while I'm in a really poor state I might be able to surprise her.

The Husks wait patiently, not that they seem to have a choice, while I gather my swords and then we ascend the stairs leading to one of the arena entrances.

After the time spent in the dim underground I'm blinded by the daylight when I enter a huge sandy circle surrounded by high walls separating the seats of spectators from the battleground itself. The place looks much like a hoofball stadium but on smaller scale. I don't really care about the details though and just focus on my main objective. Whether Scream was lying or not about the danger to my Equestria, I promised her I'd do this and I saw first-hoof the threat posed by Twilight Sparkle from this place. What I've done until now may have bought my Equestria some time and even if I die here and take Applejack with me I should give my Elements the time advantage. I hope that's the case.

Not even a minute later I'm also deafened by the roar of the crowd when a brown earthpony wearing a cowboy hat steps into the arena from the other side. I've seen Applejack more than enough times on my side of Equestria while standing guard on big occasions and the difference between the two is notable. This AJ is more muscular and mottled patches of fur in some places on her coat prove the presence of really deep scars. The two mechanical arms ending in griffon claws instead of her forelegs help as well to tell this AJ and our one apart.

She ignores the crowd and walks straight to me.

"Ah'll take away everything you have just as ya took mine," she growls at me and finally turns to show off to the audience.

I don't care about rules of this place. I don't care if the crowd stones me afterwards and so I swing both swords at the enemy who so foolishly turned her back to me.

The gasp from the crowd as she snatches both swords from the air with her arms, spins on one leg and kicks me with the other are lost on me as her kick sends waves of searing pain through my entire body when she hits the spot on my chest where my armor is broken with pinpoint precision.

I don't even manage to get up before she lazily trots to me and the claws tighten around my neck as she lifts me up. The memory of hanging from tree in Canterlot gardens becomes unpleasantly vivid when I look down at her standing on her hind legs and making my neck armor crack without any effort.

_Kick her! Kick her!_

I muster my strength and kick hard with both dangling hind legs straight at her chest. She just snorts and takes the blow without flinching while lowering me down and eventually we are face-to face and my legs touch the ground again. Then her other arm clenches my left foreleg.

A sharp stab of pain and then the grip on my neck is released completely.

_Calm down._

I feel fine. No more pain and while the arena seems to be swaying slightly everything feels alright. AJ is just standing there on all four and grinning so I take a step forward to surprise her...

... and fall down on the ground.

_I said calm down._

What's going on?

I try to get up but for some reason I keep falling to the side over and over.

_STOP!_

I freeze.

_Turn your head._

My head turns to the left where the problem seems to be.

The four pillars supporting my body from the time I was born have been reduced to only three. Wide-eyed, I look around and see a length of bronze chitin some distance from me lying between splatters of green.

She ripped off my leg and I didn't even knock off her stupid cowboy hat.

I slip on the rapidly growing pool of green under me and then bloodloss sends me once again into the darkness.


	54. Into The Abyss: Sacrifices

[Blazing's Entry]

She didn't kill me, that would be too easy. As long as I get another chance to kill her I don't care.

No family, no future, no life. Just one last duty to fulfill... again.

[End Entry]

* * *

I was wrong when I expected AJ to be similar to our one, just with the power of an Element which I would be able to negate. This one is a fighter hardened by having to fight for her life in the arena and possibly enjoying it. She's fast, her mechanical enhancement gives her immense strength and it's apparent she's way more experienced than me. After all, what real combat experience do I have? Valiant Charge, horde of changelings, the martial arts master from Nightmare Night and that's all. There is nothing that could have prepared me for going against somepony who fights for her life on regular basis.

I wake up, lying on something soft, with an unknown unicorn wearing a lab coat looking at me. With no regard for him, I sit up and fight off a wave of nausea. A blanket slips off me and I identify the unicorn as a doctor and the room as something which looks like a recovery ward in a hospital. Distant cheering, muffled by thick walls, proves to me that I'm still in the arena though.

"Try it out," says the doctor and nods to my left.

"Huh?" I groan.

"Move around a bit, slowly at first so we can see if the operation was a success and your body isn't rejecting it."

The daylight reflected by metal makes my memory throw up past events. This time I don't faint though and just try to move my left forele... arm.

"It usually takes a bit of getting used to, especially gripping things. There are no normal nerve endings in pony body which accept those signals so we have to make sure your brain can manage."

With that he begins to use his magic to manipulate the claws on my arm by opening it up and making a fist again. After few attempts at moving every single talon I catch on and weakly grasp the blanket. There's one thing I noticed. It might be nothing but it doesn't hurt to ask.

"Why does the arm look different from the ones on AJ and other mechanical ponies? I mean it doesn't smell like some kind of dye."

"Well we ran few tests on your lost leg and the resemblance to changeling chitin was striking. We've had few of those around and they've never taken the augmentation well because the metal part blocked their transformation ability somehow. Applejack gave us a permission to run a small experiment and change the structure of a standard mechanical limb by adding your ground-up chitin into the material making it slightly bronze even without dye."

"Wait... AJ allowed you to save me?"

"Save isn't the right word, mister. We've had a lot of cases like yours where she slowly ripped the victims apart fight after fight while we added more machinery. I'm sure you must have seen the results. That is what awaits you."

"So what now? Do I get time to recover or...?"

"The orders are to send you back down as soon as you wake up. I guess you must have made the champion really angry."

Secrecy doesn't really matter anymore.

"I killed Rainbow Dash."

The doctor almost chokes on absolutely nothing.

"Oh dear."

When I don't react he continues.

"I don't know how you did it but you did us a great favor. Ever since she became an Element bearer her usual laziness and overconfidence skyrocketed and she began causing trouble for Ponyville residents. I mean we used to respect her and she wasn't evil but... well, she was trouble. Nopony really liked her anymore, personally I mean, she's always been a role model and a legend to aspiring fillies thanks to her flying skills. Nopony except for her lover."

"Yeah, I think I get it."

"Exactly. That's why I think I will be seeing you again and again on the operating table until there is only your heart left powering a machinery without any resemblance to past you."

That might be an improvement.

When two Husks come to take me back underground I just silently follow them with the doctor's sad, knowing smile in my back.

My red cellmate looks up from his reading when the cell door clicks and I walk inside. My swords are already there, lying on the pile of hay serving as a bed. I just drop on the hay as well, thinking.

"Hey, Crunchy!" waves the chatty gladiator from the next cell at me.

"Crunchy?" I wonder at my new nickname.

"Well, you know, your skin."

I snicker. The nickname is as bad as it's fitting.

"What's up?"

"Is it true changelings have long tongues?"

Huh?

"I suppose," I answer and stick my tongue out. Queen Chrysalis' tongue was really long, heh, and while mine isn't that oversized it still sticks out a fair distance when I experiment.

The pony's eyes are glued to me.

"I've been here a while and I can give you some tips for going against Applejack."

"How do you know I'm going against her?"

"The mechanical parts are a symbol of those who pissed her off immensely and I've known a fair number of those."

"Alright. What can you tell me?"

"Not so fast. I'm not helping for free."

"I don't have anything and I'm not giving you my weapons."

"I want your tongue."

"WHAT?" I sit up just to lean away from him.

"Eh that came out wrong. It's just that I've heard that changelings are really good at certain things and the bars between cells aren't too close."

It begins dawning on me.

_Are we going to do it?_

I don't really want to.

_You kissed a guy so... natural step forward?_

That was different. I actually like... liked Sharp and I would have had no problem doing it with him but this?

_Afraid you're gonna like it?_

I'm pretty sure I'd have enjoyed it with him or, let's say Heavy Hoof, or, well, somepony I know but this is too weird.

_Take it like this. You bucked a venom-crazed mare and enjoyed her attention as well._

Yeah but-

_You've eaten out an alicorn who brought you back from the dead few minutes earlier._

That maybe could be seen as a payback?

_You've fed the changeling queen who tried to kill you._

That was just feeding from her point of view.

_You are partially a changeling as well._

What does that have to do with... no.

Nonononono.

I can't.

_Why?_

Turning the idea around in my head I can't find an answer aside from being taught since early age that doing that is wrong. Mare on mare - bearable, stallion on stallion - abominable.

Stories which my queen told me about feeding habits of changelings in big cities who weren't able to find a loving partner or a victim flood me. The whorsehouse workers are the luckier ones, others just have to prowl the night while giving themselves away to drunks just to gain a bit of affection which is born from momentary lust instead of biting their victims and attracting the attention of guards.

I bite my lip. What good is self-respect in my situation?

"Fine. I'll do what you want," I tell the happy gladiator.

_Think of it as a practice at making your future partner happy in case it's a stallion and not a mare._

Heh, me and having a life partner. I'll also be rich, famous and the prince of Equestria.

With the deed over, I ponder my situation.

The positive thing is that it actually felt pretty good. The bad thing is how little energy it gave me. It was enough to make me feel my armor healing even while bobbing my head back and forth but it was also enough to accentuate the horrible hunger I've been feeling for what seems like forever.

"So, what can you tell me that would help me against Applejack?"

The gladiator scratches his head.

"About that. Well you are new here so..."

"You just wanted a changeling to blow you and don't actually know anything."

I don't even have the strength to be angry when he nods.

"Just leave me be," I tell him, roll over on the bed of hay and cover my head with my forelegs... I mean my arm and a leg.

Thinking I should be crying I'm surprised to find out my eye is completely dry. I guess I've cried out my share of everything.

The lightbulb in my cell shuts down leaving the area dark meaning my cellmate's done with his reading. Few seconds later the hay on the floor rustles and four incredibly muscular legs wrap around me. I guess my cellmate was just waiting for me to show willingness to join the arena even in its dirtier aspect and now is making his move.

I don't resist when something the size of a fifth leg presses against my back but there is no more movement involved. Curious about the lack of action I turn around and the closeness of red coat makes me push against it but the legs around me don't budge and the earthpony's belly and everything else remains pressed against me, only from the front this time.

"Ah know how ya feel right now," says the giant with the same accent as Applejack.

Instead of continuing the futile struggle I let him pull me closer and fall asleep with my head nose pressed into the chest full of red.


	55. Into The Abyss: Rematch

[Blazing's Entry]

My cellmate's name is Big Mac and is recognized as the second strongest gladiator in the arena. Also, he's Applejack's brother. He doesn't talk much but from what I was able to gather his sister used to be just a normal girl until she became an Element bearer which made her recklessness and love for bucking trees turn into appetite for destruction but she was a businessmare smart enough to turn Equestrian prisoners into a profitable estabilishment and avoid needless damage to pony lives.

Finding this out killed few days since my source was only answering my questions with short sentences and even more with 'Eeyup' and 'Nope'.

One thing to be proud of - aside from the fight with Applejack I'm now undefeated in the arena.

I've also done some more things to sate my changeling hunger. It's very little but I take what I can get.

I'm now known as the prison bitch.

Life sucks and blows and, apparently, so do I.

[End Entry]

* * *

The daylight doesn't blind me anymore when I step outside into the sandy circle of the arena. I have to admit that I've gotten stronger in past days and the adoration of the crowd is the big reason why. The more I was winning the more the crowd shouted when it came to next match and my changeling side got fed.

Today is not different and I've found out one more thing about my body. The magic runes can be replenished slightly by draining severe amounts of changeling energy and I've been using that to my advantage as much as possible and feeding off the crowd.

On the other hoof, today is different. My opponent is a one I know for a change and I grin when the silouhette of the happy gladiator who took advantage of me appears. I've wanted to try something for a while but nopony seemed like the right target.

The one and only problem is that arena participants aren't allowed to watch the fights so I have no idea how good the guy is. It shouldn't matter though. With my regeneration working again there is very little that an earthpony armed with a trident can do.

The fight is way too easy. Rising Thunder, with his experience from fighting off changeling attacks, training new guards and real thirst for my blood while protecting his family wasn't strong enough to fight me and this guy has no idea about how much experience in fighting against earthponies with long sticks, he he, I have.

As usual, the shouts from the crowd for his life or death mix together and it's up to me to decide his future. If ponies in the seats want a show then that's what they're going to get. His future is going to be very pleasant very shortly.

My feeding on other ponies was passive every single time aside from using the venom but there was a situation once when I almost killed a certain batpony while tapping into her energy directly. It left me overcharged at the time but now I think I can handle the amount of energy. Standing on the gladiator's chest I lean down, bite his neck and don't let go until he stops moving. It might happen to be a hefty overdose of venom but if there's somepony I'm willing to experiment on then it's him.

The crowd goes silent when I step from the pony on the ground and begins either cheering or booing depending on what their wish for the loser was. Soon, the red sun signalling to me that the excess energy I can steal is there appears and I focus on it. The effect is immediate. He begins panting but after he takes a step towards me his legs fail him which he completely ignores and tries to crawl on the ground while looking at me and drooling.

The orange glow of my horn is visible even in the daylight and I grin as what looks like lightning connects my horn and the twitching earthpony... the ex-twitching earthpony. A shower of green sparks passes through my armor and I lick my lips unconsciously when the red sun of my victim fades. Turning back to the exit I feel a little tugging on my mechanical arm and see it's shinier than before and the claws which were stuck in the ground ripped off a part of the rocky floor underneath the sand.

Yeah. Applejack, I'm coming for you.

_Are you sure this is enough?_

If it's not the there was no chance all the time. I'm brimming with energy, I have magic-dampening swords and a shiny new arm with same strength as her ones have.

I pass the Husk guards behind the arena entrance and go underground with them following me. I have to talk to Big Mac.

"What do I have to do to challenge Applejack?" I ask the red giant.

"Nothing. Tell one of the mechs."

The entire underground room goes silent as I yell my request at the guards. One of them leaves without an answer but returns shortly after.

"Evening. Last fight of today," he/it rasps and leaves.

Good. I don't know how long the overcharge will last so I have to use it while I can. My back hits the hay and I close my eyes.

"Mac, can you give me some tips against AJ?" I ask, not expecting an answer.

"Nope."

Careful not to doze off, I go through stretching motions and slowly keep moving around without exerting too much effort. I have to keep the blood flowing while not wasting energy.

It's impossible to measure passing time down here but with my nerves working overtime the evening comes in what seems like a moment. For the second time today I step outside into the ring of sand.

Taking a breath, I find it difficult to stop the shiver going up my spine when the sound of two metal arms scratching the stone under the sand reaches my ears. Much like before, Applejack comes to me first.

"Ah'll take another thing that makes you you today."

Exactly like before, I take a stab at her as soon as she turns to greet the crowd. Exactly like before, she dodges it effortlessly.

What's different today is that her counterattack is dodged completely and we begin circling around one another, waiting for a chance to strike. Then she punches the air and I have only a fraction of a second to disperse the shockwave with my swords. She tilts her head to the side when her Element fails to work.

With incredible speed she slams her arm to the ground and uses it to launch herself forward at me with the claws of her second hand aimed at my head. An enemy charging at me, what a novelty...

The experience difference becomes apparent though as she remains unphased when my swords slice off her machine arm and just rams the second one to the ground again mid-flight turning me facing her into me facing the hooves of her hind legs.

A trail of green sparks is slowly fading in the air between me and Applejack who is suddenly much further away then a second before.

_That was one heck of a kick._

I drop on the ground. Oh... I was stuck in the wall. Thank Celestia for the hard armor otherwise the spectators on this side of the arena would have been slightly greener and stickier.

_That wasn't even with her using the Element._

A tugging feeling on my neck is unpleasantly familiar. With only one arm, Applejack can't rip off my other foreleg but before I can persuade my shaken will to take control of my body again she slams me to the ground.

"Ah don't need another leg."

Shadow blocks my vision and one of her muscular hind legs pins my neck to the ground hard enough to disallow any movement. In any other situation I would have enjoyed being under a strong mare's legs but she doesn't seem phased by my fake dirty look towards her private parts.

"Ah'm way outta your league," she grins and her other hind leg reaches my head at the speed of a comet.

I can feel the snap in my entire body and the chances of me ever forgetting the sound are pretty slim. The good thing is that there is still a head capable of thinking this. Something wet is dripping down my cheeks and when I wipe my eyes there is a green sheen on my foreleg.

_She turned her back again and has got only one arm. One sword should be enough and you'll be able to move. NOW!_

Despite all my focus neither of my swords even twitches. Maybe I'm too far? With few steps I pass Applejack who lost interest in me and is walking to the arena exit. I wipe my face again. Where's all the green coming from?

Terrified but suddenly sure about what I'm going to see, I turn back and look at the piece of bone lying in the sand.

It's a bronze unicorn horn.


	56. Into The Abyss: Core

[Blazing's Entry]

Any chance of defeating Applejack is officially gone. I can't use my weapons anymore. At least I have a future now.

Unfortunately it involves me waiting until AJ decides to have fun with me few more times and leave me a lot shinier and more metallic.

[End Entry]

* * *

Showering time is over and I limp back to my cell and slump down on the hay. Big Mac just shakes his head at the sight of me. I feel empty. I fought Applejack in my best shape and lost miserably.

_What's the plan?_

Don't know. Don't care.

_Then all hope for Equestria is lost._

Nonsense. Without Spike obeying Sombra and Rainbow Dash the enemy is significantly weaker than before.

_Will it be enough?_

Does it matter? I can't do anything anymore. If it's not enough then the invasion will succeed and I will die here eventually and if it's enough then the invasion will fail and guess what - I'll die here eventually.

_So you don't care about Equestria enough to give everything for it._

I never did. The last thing binding me to it was my promise to help Scream with whatever her mission would be which is impossible for me to fulfill right now.

_Family, oops sorry. Friends?_

I gave every little bit I could for all of them. I dealt with two Elements instead of just one like I was supposed to. Scream will eventually find out in the same way she's been using all the time and plan her next step. There are four alicorns and six Elements on our side. The enemy has got two unicorn archmages and three Elements, one of which is useless for combat.

_Alright. What do you want to do?_

I don't understand.

_It's simple. You can't deal with the big things right now. What do you want to do from the set of possible things?_

Hmmmm. Sleep.

_What's stopping you?_

Aside from the sound of balls slapping somepony's flank in the distance?

To get some semblance of privacy I throw some hay over my head. It's not much but it's enough to make me drift off.

I must admit that waking up next to somepony is a feeling I like despite the situation being less than normal. The size of the pony behind me proves it's Big Mac and not some genius locksmith who managed to get into the arena to cuddle a changeling.

Not hurting anymore but with the empty feeling remaining I get summoned to the arena again, fortunately against a normal fighter and not against the champion. Unarmed, I wipe the floor with him easily and leave the arena with him coughing up on the ground. The overcharge from yesterday is gone but the love of the crowd is enough to keep my changeling side filled and the brown stew is nutritious enough to fill the rest.

"Hey, Crunchy! Sorry for the last time," says the happy cheating bastard from the next cell.

I ignore him.

"I mean it. I really know something on AJ but last time I thought you were just some newb who deserved a lesson but then you left me alive," he continues.

"Are you trying to make me change my mind about that?"

"No no no. I just want to pay you back a bit."

"Fiiine. What have you got?"

"You know what you have to do."

"You're kidding, right?"

"A bit but this time I can really pay you back."

An idea comes to mind. If he likes the changeling tongue so much then he will agree to my terms. It's not as if I didn't enjoy it as well... a bit.

"I'll do it BUT you have to tell me what you know first and I'll take care of you right before I go for AJ."

"Can I trust you?"

"I promise. That's the highest guarantee I can give you."

"Okay. I don't know if you noticed but her main strength isn't in her arms but in her hind legs. She's actually pretty clumsy with augments."

Thinking back, it makes sense. Her punches were strong but not really refined. Her overall speed was still crazy though.

_And speed comes from?_

Stance, balance and leg strength. Damn... I was trying to deal with her as a swordspony over and over but not for a single moment did I try to...

... I was so focused on the damn swords I forgot that I'm a martial artist and now I have the perfect grabbing tool at my disposal. The swords should protect me from the power of the Element even while sheathed.

"Thanks," I mumble.

"Hey that's not all. If you want to go for her again then go for Big Mac first and beat him up really bad. Firstly, he's almost as good with his legs as her and she'll be really pissed about it and might make a mistake."

If I do that then there won't be another chance. If I hurt Mac really badly then she'll kill me next time for sure.

And no, I'm not killing Big Mac even if it would make her go berserk and lose control completely.

"Hey, Big Mac. I challenge you. This evening in a closing match."

That should give me enough time to evaluate the difference between the two and plan for tomorrow. It might also make AJ stew overnight and go absolutely livid later.

"Eeyup," agrees Mac to the challenge and keeps reading his book.

I spend the time left by doing the practice sets I've been doing since the time I needed to warm up during the first days of me hauling coal in Canterlot.

The sun is close to setting when I face off against the red earthpony with the crowd watching. I wouldn't have guessed that Ponyville would be enough to make the place full all the time but it seems this is a place for all of Equestria to enjoy.

"THE STRONGEST STALLION IN ALL EQUESTRIA WILL FACE A VOLUNTEERING CHALLENGER TODAY FOR A CHANGE. THREE CHEERS FOR THE APPLECRUSHER BIG MACINTOSH!" yells the announcer.

"AND THREE CHEERS FOR FOR THE APPLE ABOUT TO BE MADE INTO APPLE FAMILY RECIPE CIDER - A CHANGELING WHOSE NAME WE'LL WONDER ABOUT ONLY AFTER WE FIND ALL HIS REMAINS TOMORROW," he continues when the crowd stops.

In contrast to all gladiators with the exception AJ, Big Mac doesn't watch my every move but just keeps me in his line of sight.

_Hind legs._

Yeah. How should I attack though?

_Punching sounds like a great idea. It can't be easy to block the claws._

True. I completely forgot that even short, sharp punches are deadly with steel razors on my arm.

With me closing in, Mac takes a swing at me but as fast as the punch is due to his muscle power it's still easy to predict and he has to jump away from the stab of my talon. When I close in again he sharply half-turns his back to me and I dodge what I thought would be a double kick but is only a one-leg one, weaker but much faster to execute.

I repeat the process over and over and with each of Mac's failures I inflict a small wound - a cut here, a bruise there. The goal isn't to demolish him, it's to find out as much as I can for tomorrow because, to be honest, the fight was over after few of the earliest exchanges.

Eventually Mac's legs fail him accompanied by the astonished silence of the crowd and I leave the arena sweating and shaking from nervous exhaustion but completely untouched.

"Sorry, Mac," I tell my cellmate after basically making him a laughing stock when we get ready to end the day.

He just drops down on the hay, completely spent. I tell one of the Husks that I want to fight Applejack in the morning, turn off the light and get ready to sleep. Then I get a better idea and this time it's me who pushes his back towards the red earthpony for warmth and company.

In the morning I borrow a double sheath from one of the gladiators, fulfill my promise to the changeling lover which leaves him unconscious on the floor with smile wide enough to threaten the top of his head falling off and go up to meet freedom from my promise, either by its fulfillment or death.

"You're gonna die today for making the Apple family look bad," is another one of Applejack's greetings.

She looks calm but her not showing off to the crowd speaks volumes. In comparison to Mac she's going to be able to block the claws with her arms, too bad she got her broken one repaired. This time I'm not going to give her a chance at directing the fight though.

She's incredibly fast in turning around but she can't get a good swing off when I stay at close range almost touching her body. It also makes it impossible to block sharp stabs and scratches from my claws. The situation works both ways but I don't need to finish her off with one blow which is a win condition for her. Scratches and small bleeding is something I can easily deal with thanks to overcharge from draining a pony and the positive energy from the crowd.

Suddenly she jumps into the air and I can feel magic at work but in the same way as it was with Rainbow Dash the shockwave caused by the physics-defying jump sends the sand flying in every direction aside from mine which leaves my vision free of obstructions and lets me swipe upwards with talons.

Applejack's shocked expression at the lack of height the jump gave her is second only to the horror which comes when my claws rip her belly to shreds. Few weak gusts of magical waves are what comes before the brown body stops moving altogether.

A wave of echoing laughter comes from one figure among the silent audience and a puff of black smoke appears in front of me but still in safe distance. It slowly forms into something which resembles a unicorn in about the same way as I do.

It is definitely a pony, a grey one with black mane which is half-unreal much like an alicorn one but his horn is razor-sharp and slightly curved backwards.

"CRYSTALS!" the creature rasps.

The unicorn-ish creature is the only being I've ever seen which is surrounded by a physically percievable aura aside from the alicorns. Not even queen Chrysalis' presence was this menacing.

Damn... if only I realized my mistake in using the swords earlier I could have dealt with Applejack and avoided this.

"CRYSTALS!" it growls again and with its few steps towards me I finally acknowledge that it's almost as big as princess Celestia.

I facehoof when my next words leave my mouth:

"I don't have any?"


	57. Into The Abyss: Traitor

[Blazing's Entry]

I wish I knew how to summarize what's going on but I don't. Three Element bearers were killed by my own hooves, Spike is raging and will not join the war but now I know how little chance my Equestria has despite what I've done. Even with Spike forcing all dragons to leave Sombra's army there is the entire united world under the crystal king's command - griffons, changelings, tamed monstrosities from the Everfree forest and other long-forgotten places, the undead and mechanical creations and magic I've never even heard of before.

I feel like a candle trying to hold off a tsunami.

But why? My promise to Scream is gone along with Applejack, to my home-world I'm dead and even if by some miracle I came back then there would be nothing waiting for me. Changeling armor, metal griffon arm and red, crystal horn would only serve to scare everypony around me while here they are a sign of power and high standing.

On top of that, I could learn magic and become a real unicorn and not just some half-crippled abomination of nature and spells. I'm done with being somepony's pawn. I'm done with doing things without having an idea why.

But what do I want then?

I know the answer in my heart. I want her but that's just not meant to be. I'd do best to forget.

[End Entry]

* * *

"CRYSTALS!" growls the grey unicorn again with growing annoyance.

"Sorry siiiiir!" comes from a figure flying towards us from the spectator seats.

The yellow pegasus is familiar and when she's close enough for me to catch a glimpse of her three-butterfly cutie mark my brain begins working again. Without a second of doubt my arm unsheathes one of my swords and, with me hoping that the anti-magic aura will be stong enough to disperse all protection, slashes at the growling sharp-horned unicorn.

A chain comes from literally nowhere and blocks the blow. No magic could have done that and a voice from behind me reminds me of the TWO guardians of the crystal king.

"Do that again. I sooo enjoy making little rebels scream."

With that, a pink hoof somehow holding a kitchen knife appears right at my neck.

Jumping backwards to surprise the attacker and give me precious miliseconds of not having another breathing hole I hit the ground with my rump when I fail to slam into anypony. A grinning pink earthpony appears from behind who must doubtlessly be king Sombra.

Damn... the swords were supposed to limit their abilities.

_What if they are?_

And she can still do that?! Damn! Damn! Damn!

"Your cough drops, sir," says evil Fluttershy meekly while presenting a small tube from which a single white dot is levitated to king's mouth.

"That's better. Damn crystal pony cold. Whose idea was it anyway to build an entire city-state in the freaking blizzard-infested wasteland?" scowls king Sombra.

_What now?_

...

_Hello? Anypony there?_

...

_Main bad boss? Laying down your life for Equestria, traditional values and Apple family pie?_

...

Staring blankly, I just sit on the ground waiting for things to unfold.

"I'm surprised you're not begging for your life," says king Sombra.

"Wouldn't help," I look him straight in the eyes and shrug.

"That is absolutely true. Now... what shall I do with you?"

"What?"

"It's really simple. I can recognize useful talent when I see it and I don't need three corpses of my best soldiers pointing at you to make me consider giving you an option for a different future than the short one in the dungeon with Pinkamena here."

"What makes you think I won't turn on you as soon as I have the chance?"

"You know what they say - Keep your friends close and your enemies in the range of your primary offensive spell."

The dam bursts.

"Alright, I'm in."

_WHAT?!_

If I don't do it I'm dead.

_So you're going to HELP him? After all you've done to stop him._

Firstly, I might be able to find out something useful from the inside. Secondly, even if I fail then how is dying right here and now more useful?

_I... don't know. This just feels unthinkable. Betraying everypony home._

Why should I feel anything for them? Did anypony help? Is any of the damn alicorns here? Where was everypony when I killed Rarity? Why wasn't there anypony to at least speak to me when Rainbow Dash was choking on her own blood in front of me? Who was I supposed to turn to when Applejack was slowly breaking me down piece by piece?

And ALL OF THAT could have been prevented if some STUPID, SELF-CENTERED batpony had the courage not to let me choke to death!

Give me one reason, JUST ONE BUCKING REASON to care!

"I'm glad to welcome you to our ranks. Pinkamena!" Sombra nods his head and then turns to his assistant.

She pulls out a red pillow with two items on it. One of them is a thin, red crystal in the shape of a pyramid which I've seen used by Husks and the second one is a necklace decorated by a small cloud with rainbow bolt of lightning coming out of it.

"Bow your head, unicorn," says Sombra to me and I do so.

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Through a veil of pain threatening to make my bones burst out of my carapace I can still feel the throbbing in my forehead and see the green splatters on the ground and on Pinkamena who is licking her lips and grinning.

It's not over though and the second gift snaps around my neck with the finality of a guillotine. A short burst of light later there's my two-ring cutie mark on the necklace instead.

"Welcome to the Royal Guard, Element of Betrayal."

* * *

I was given a train ticket to the Crystal Empire and left alone after that. Pinkamena just spirited the other Element and the king away meaning I'm now on the way north, listening to the clicking of machinery and looking outside of the train window.

"I knew we would meet again," comes from the empty air and I twitch in my private room.

"And you are?" I say with obvious lack of interest.

"Betrayal, of course."

"Great... a voice in my head and now I have one in my jewellery."

"You don't seem impressed at being addressed by the physical manifestation of one of the ancient gods."

"Hmmmmmm," I keep looking at the scenery. The train ride should take few days and I have nothing to do aside from enjoying free food and drink in my luxury suite.

"Interesting. The first thing my last bearer did when she put me on was to find out how much better I made her."

"Could you just give me a summary? I'm not really in the mood for... messing around," I make myself comfortable on the bed and close my eyes.

"How should I know? I have no idea what you can do without you showing anything."

"Kick, punch, make my armor harder, that's all I can do. I can't levitate things anymore even with this eyesore instead of my horn."

"Pfff, that 'eyesore' is an extremely well-made crystal attuned to magic."

"Amazing. Too bad I have the same amount of magic as an earthpony."

"Nonsense. All unicorns can use magic to some extent."

"Unicorns are ponies and have horns. I'm a half-changeling and have a party attraction stabbed in my head."

"Same thing. What I mean is that horns are just tools for focusing magic, every living being creates magic in itself and it manifests in various ways."

"Once again, I can't. I've never been able to use anything except telekinesis and that was pretty weak as well."

"Hmmmm. Was your ability stronger when you were angry?"

"Not really. It was only stronger once when I was on drugs."

"I'm beginning to get the issue. Do you know why earthponies still exist?"

"Huh?" I wonder at the sudden change of direction.

"A simple question. Why do earthponies still exist when there are unicorns who used to consider them no more than pests and had the ability to shape existence with their will?"

"Somepony had to grow food?" I grasp at my weak knowledge of pony history. Funnily enough, I'm better at the changeling one.

"Mhm, yeah, totally. Because unicorns weren't smart enough to grow grass..."

"Alright, fine, I have no idea. Happy?"

"Come on. We have too much time to kill and you could at least fake interest in something which might give you what you want."

I grunt in annoyance.

"I really don't know. Earthponies are smart enough to invent technology capable of causing similar effects to magic but they can't build it with their hooves so unless they found a way to become fireproof I don't have a clue."

"You are actually pretty close. Think again and this time consider the fakes you are carrying sheathed on your back."

That can't be right.

"Earthponies found a way to block magic? I thought Starswirl was the one who created the swords."

"There's a difference. The fakes were made with the Element of Magic itself in mind but the foundation for his research was the earthpony ability to, as you guessed, weaken magic. The reason earthponies still exist is that the unicorns weren't able to eradicate them as they wanted."

"So this means that I should somehow be able to block magic even without the swords. Which I can't."

"Got an earthpony in your ancestry?"

"Yeah. My mom."

"Then I guess that for some reason you are suppressing your magic yourself. Got anything against magic-users?"

"Yeah. They are borrowing power to do something they aren't able to just with their hooves, it's the same as with weapons."

"Heh. You really are the best bearer for me. Betrayal is in your soul."

"What do you mean?"

"You unconsciously suppress your own magic. Your own head turns on you and gives you a second opinion. Your fighting ability relies on using your enemy's strength against him and even now you are thinking about getting close to Sombra and backstabbing him when he least expects it. Don't try to hide it."

"So what? Are you going to tell on me?"

"Of course not. I couldn't have found a better match for me if I tried. And since I think I'm getting to know you a bit then there's a unicorn we have to talk to when we get to the Empire."

"What about?"

"Teaching you the theory of magic."

"I don't understand. How is that going to help me?"

"You can't simply stop a spell coming at you, that's not how the earthpony blood works. You have to know exactly how the spell was done, you have to identify its weak points and use your ability to unravel it and that's what the unicorn can help you with. She's the most knowledgeable mage in this world right after Sombra himself."

"What if she won't help?"

"Oh she will, she's a traitor herself."

"That's nice and all but... I don't think blocking magic will be enough. I can't use the swords, not even my telekinesis works and fighting with my bare hooves and talons just doesn't seem even close to what I'll need."

"I think a born traitor like you might have it in him to do more than just block magic. Much like your physical ability, why don't you try to steal their magic when they use it and turn it against them?"

"Is it even possible?"

"That is exactly the wrong question."

_What have you got to lose?_

Any chance at starting new life here, becoming the right hoof of the local ruler and finding myself a nice mare to live the rest of my life with.

_You and happy ending?_

Silly me.

_So it's impossible for you to lead a good life here and it's also impossible to do the same at home._

I could just flip a coin.

_Knowing you, it would just end up standing on the side._

Can't rely on anypony or anything else deciding my fate.

_So..._

I think I'm just going to have fun. If I can't have life then I'll have death and enjoy it as much as I can. No more fear, no more hesitation.

_Being on the winning side has never been our thing._

Exactly. Anypony can go against possible odds but there's no fun in that.

So let's go learn magic or anti-magic or whatever, kill Sombra, chain Scream somwhere in a dark basement and charge few bits per customer, buy the biggest ass-paddle I can for the money and spank Chokey until she tells me the reason for hating her name. Then we can have cake.

_What if you fail?_

Then I'll know I did everything in my power and I'll have no regrets.

They say hope dies last and when it does one might feel that there is nothing left. What they don't understand is that, much like I did, with just a little help it can come back again.


	58. Into The Abyss: Reflection

[Blazing's Entry]

I really wish I could write about some great change or success but truth is that after my arrival in the Crystal Empire I just recieved a short briefing and was told to take over Rainbow Dash's and Applejack's duties in watching over Ponyville. Funnily enough, all that involves is dealing with tons of paperwork from Mayor Mare's office. It's not that bad though, most decisions are already done and all the job takes from me is to sign up the decisions with king's name and make things super official. The real reason of course is to make sure no rebellion or anything similar happens but Ponyville is the last place where such thing could happen which suits a newbie like me just fine.

I almost forgot, Twilight Sparkle wants to kill me but Sombra's orders and my blackmailing her is enough to make her do what I want which is teaching me magic theory. Thankfully, some things are exactly the same as at home and she always forgets her bloodlust as soon as our lessons begin. None of this would have been possible without the help of the Element because for whatever reason my killing three of her friends wasn't overly useful in persuading her to help me. I mean she did almost kill me back home so at least we should be even, or not?

All that said, I'm terrible at magic anyway. Remembering the symbols, the feel of power and everything is easy but my actual ability to use it is comparable to a year-old unicorn foal. Well, maybe not that bad but close. On the other hoof, my ability to counter magic is growing at an incredible pace. The Element was right, all it takes to fight magic is knowledge which gives you the chance to strike at the right spot.

All THAT said, my telekinesis is back but it's barely strong enough to hold a pen or something similar. Better stick to kicks and punches then. If things go like this then I'll never be able to use swords, or even one, again.

My study of magic will be delayed, maybe indefinitely, though. The invasion is coming and Twilight was recalled back north few days ago to make it possible. I don't really understand it myself but when she began using long words like 'transmorphogenic' and 'marmelade' I asked her to dumb the explanation down and she just said that despite the difficulty of teleporting between both Equestrias there are points where dimensional overlap is possible causing the worlds to join indefinitely under certain circumstances.

Ehm, I think she actually told me those but I was asleep at the time. Damn, I'm yawning even while recounting the events.

The most amusing thing, as the Element never fails to remind me, is the amount of paranoia everywhere around. I think Sombra knows, or suspects, that I'm not one of his minions but is willing to risk the chance of me not lying. He has no idea Twilight isn't working for him. She herself thinks I'm a traitor who now IS serving Sombra for the promise of, I don't know, power in my world when they rule it or whatever. And I... I don't know much. With the decision of not giving a damn about the future I'm just going with the flow and doing what I feel like doing. There are of course the bureaucratic duties of being an evil overlord, albeit on much smaller scale than the main bad guy, and my goal serving to amuse me which is somehow saving my world but those are things that can't be solved immediately.

When Twilight told me she was going back north and that I'd have to go as well later, curiosity began rising inside me until it was impossible to ignore so I asked all I could about a certain pony and was surprised to find out that there might be something more interesting than saving the world. I mean I still had enough time before having to go north so I decided to take a detour.

I'm going to Canterlot to see the commander of the local branch of Royal Guard, a unicorn with a very ambitious name - Blazing Light.

[End Entry]

* * *

"That's pretty swagtastic crib," says the voice of Betrayal.

"Sweet Celestia, what did you just say?" I turn my head to what is supposed to be an ancient being.

"Ehm sorry about that. Three years around Rainbow Dash certainly left a mark and it comes back from time to time."

The Element began using a different form upon my request shortly after our first ride north. Seriously, I look like a patchwork of things and I really didn't need a huge, golden necklace on my neck so I was very happy to find out that physical form is something the Elements can freely ignore. Now he floats around me as a silver longsword to make me feel at home.

"But yeah. It looks like the me from this world is much more successful than me me."

"Dunno. Being an Element bearer, transcending your mortal form and marginally succeeding in a mission to save the world sounds pretty good compared to being some stuck-up noble Royal Guard commander."

"We'll see," I say and ring the doorbell of one of the bigger mansions in Canterlot.

I have no clue what I'm going to see but out of sheer curiosity I want to know how I would look if, well, I wasn't a failure.

When the door opens, we get ushered inside and after a short while of me presenting my credentials as a personal guard of king Sombra the responsible servants leave us sitting in a comfortable leather armchair. The mansion isn't filled with excess but all of its equipment is functional, stylish and, fine, just a bit flaunting. All combined it gives the impression that while the owner of this place is more practical in his heart, he also enjoys the perks of wealthy living.

"Welcome in my humble home, mister?" comes from behind me. Apparently the layout of the room also allows the host to enter without his guests seeing him. Paranoia at its finest, I'm beginning to feel at home here.

Looking into what seems to be a mirror to the past, although a bit cracked, scratched and scarred in places, I give another of my selves an impish grin.

"My name is Blazing Light and, correct me if I'm wrong, so is yours."

"From the future?" he says without batting an eyelid. Damn, his level of caring is about the same as mine.

"Some mirror part of Equestria. It's supposed to be an alternate reality or something, I don't really know how it works."

"What are you doing here then?" he asks.

"Welll it all began when I got turned into half-changeling, then killed, revived and other fun things so I just wanted to know how my other self is. So... how are things?"

He snorts.

"Can't complain. No really, I can't complain or the secret police will have me beheaded. Just kidding, want some wine? I've got enough time so we can have a chat."

I nod and he sits down in an armchair opposite me and pushes a button on the table between us. There is nothing happening for a while and then a voice from the door chills me to the bone.

"Your drink, master."

I slowly turn, trying to control every movement and not give anything away. When the pony sees me, she trips and drops the platter with a wine bottle and two glasses she was carrying. Swinging her hooves, she tries to catch the falling glassware but it stops in midair surrounded by orange glow.

My evil self sighs.

"You almost broke the priceless bottle of Appleloosan apple and cherry blend wine. Go make us a snack and we'll talk about this later."

With how annoyed and momentarily angry his voice is, I have hard time keeping mine steady.

"Don't be too hard on her. I have this effect on most ponies."

"I can imagine but she's been like this since day one. I mean we get a lot of strange looking visitors and she still can't use her hooves properly. Makes really good sandwiches though, just wait for it."

"What is she to you anyway?" I ask after a brief pause filled by enjoying the wine. His taste in wines is similar to mine apparently but I like them a bit stronger to get wasted quicker and not burn through the bottle too fast.

"The thestral?"

"The batpony."

"Come on. Ponies like us should call things the right names and not some village slang."

"Never heard the term thestral before. I'm more of a changeling expert rather than pony one."

"Nice. I've got few of them serving here, without horns of course. But even when they can't change forms they are fantastic in bed, especially if you threaten to give them to the public. No offense," he grins and then waves his hoof when he looks at me again.

"None taken. I get that they are about as liked here as they are at my world."

"They make for excellent pets, whorses, servants and such like. They are cheap and know that if something bad happens thanks to them they can get executed immediately. That's what I like about them, they don't talk back. Not like the damn thestral. Oh right... thestral is the same term as unicorn or pegasus. You wouldn't want them to call you a hornpony or wingpony right?"

That makes sense.

"What about earthponies, how do you call them?"

"Get the haul here by sundown or I'll have you whipped," he answers and begins laughing.

I snort, it's evil, racist and disgusting... but still funny.

"Why do you keep the... thestral here then if she's so bad?"

"Don't say you didn't feel your blood boil when you saw her. If you're the least bit like me then I don't need to answer that."

Yea... my blood did boil but for one very different reason.

"Got hots for her?" I ask.

"I used to when I joined the guard but after the changeling invasion ponies started looking funny at the bats and griffons so with me promoted for stopping the invasion I took her in when she and her thestral friends were kicked out of the guard for giving out information to the changelings."

Hmmm... a lot of Nightguards disappeared, abducted by Chrysalis at the time but I don't think that would lead to too much suspicion.

_Unless the negative reaction was much stronger here._

"By the way, how come you aren't a part-changeling?"

"Why should I be?"

"I got cursed by Chrysalis at a party few weeks after arriving in Canterlot and working in the castle."

"Oooh I remember that one. There was a white pegasus I wanted to bang but the bitch wouldn't budge."

"Hmmmm. What about Valiant Charge?"

"Her ex? I think he had an 'accident' recently. After all I couldn't leave him around when I wanted Choking to myself. You understand, don't you?"

"Oh... so she's been with him until the invasion?"

"Yea, he was a bastard but a pretty dumb one so I just brown-nosed him a bit and when I got promoted I swiped his marefriend."

_Something doesn't sound right._

Yea... I think I'm getting the idea who this guy is.

_You?_

Exactly.

"So you got promoted after the invasion and blamed her and other batponies for giving out information," I bluff.

"Good guess. You know what you're talking about then?"

"Pretty much."

The black batpony servant comes with a tray of sandwiches and I gather all my strength not to look in the red eyes I once thought to be the most beautiful thing to ever grace the world.

She puts the tray down and stays here, standing at attention and looking at her hooves.

"So how did YOU get her?" he begins again.

"Hmm?"

"Come on. We're pretty similar and there has ever been only one mare good enough to make me go crazy."

"Wellll... she killed me."

"WHAT?"

"And now that I see you I know she did the right thing."

Before he can react I swipe at his front hooves with my claw and watch them and the glass of wine drop on the carpet. My other self just stares at me and the two bloody stumps where his forelegs used to be.

"GUAR-!"

My next swipe takes the unicorn's head off.

"Bring me the deed to this mansion and some official stationery," I command and Choking immediately leaves the room.

"Murderer," sneers the voice of the Element at me.

"Don't say you didn't like it."

"I loved every second of the situation, especially how you ignored the bruises on the batpony's face, the whip marks and the fact she can't walk properly with repeatedly broken and healed left back knee."

"You're pretty good at paying attention."

"I just know where to look. So what now? To be honest, I expected you to take this guy's place and keep her around."

"No. Me and this... thing are similar enough so I'll just forge his signature, slap Sombra's seal on it and make her the owner of this place."

"Why not? I don't know what happened between you and your version of the bat girl but you can have her here and have complete control of her life."

"From the moment I first met her I knew I wasn't good enough to even kiss her hooves and right now - three damn years later - I'm sure I was right all the time. There was no way for me to take care of her and make her happy because even if that's the only thing I really wanted I would have messed up somehow and ended like this. The best thing I can do is making sure no version of an abomination like me is anywhere near her."

A hoof pokes my side.

Damn batponies and their sneakiness.

"Did I forget something?" I ask Choking when I finish writing the will and signing some makeshift paperwork in hope no lawyer would ever examine it too carefully with Sombra's seal on it.

"Nothing, sir," she says meekly, still not believing the turn of fortune.

"Got any friends to help you with all this?" I wave my hoof around.

"I can manage."

I smile at her.

"I know you can, you always could."

Turning to leave, I hear her say:

"You're not him, sir."

I wish I could believe that.

"Goodbye, Chokey," I tell her.

"Goodbye, mister Ligh- Blaze."

Leaving the mansion behind me and in good hooves I know there's only one thing left.

Time to head north, waste some more time by practicing magic and find a way to end this.


	59. Making Things Right-ish: Stairwell

[Choking's Entry]

It's strange how well Blaze took my rejection, aren't stallions supposed to be devastated by something like that?

I'm sort of sad he didn't stay a while so we could talk about things but perhaps it's for the best, I have no illusions about his feelings not being hurt. The thing is that with Void here and Scream's blessing I think I have a shot at something incredible and Blaze just wasn't it.

Ah well, if there's somepony who wouldn't be angry about me being happy no matter the circumstances it's him.

I'm sure he would understand, right?

[End Entry]

* * *

In an orange glow, Blaze disappears again and I close the door. It was all so sudden. What did Blaze think coming out of nowhere and asking me... that? Nevermind, I'm just confused right now and a cup of coffee and maybe Void's second opinion might help.

"What was that?" asks the alicorn in question, still yawning and trying to force his eyes to open.

"It was Blaze," I answer.

"Oh? Is he fine, then?" continues Void with genuine curiosity.

"Probably. He asked me to go out with him," I admit slowly. Something just doesn't feel right and I can't say what or why.

"That is a good thing... right?" asks Void again, this time carefully.

* * *

In Void's head, things aren't making sense. Why aren't they here, hugging and kissing? Considering how devastated Choking was about the whole thing and how Blazing felt about her the situation should have ended in both of them rolling on the floor making draining bathtub noises.

* * *

"I refused," I answer.

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Try it, please. It might be easy to understand."

I blush, it is the first time I've ever felt like this.

"I-I asked Scream if she didn't mind the two of us being together and she was fine with it. Then I thought that nopony else has ever been as understanding and... mature as you. Eehm, what I'm trying to say is that I want to spend time with you and not anypony else. It's not just the bedroom stuff, I can actually see us staying together."

Void's sigh is somehow longer and more tired than usual.

"If Scream does not have a problem with it than I am fine with it as well. You are a charming young lady, even though a bit too wild for my tastes, but you might be thinking about this the wrong way."

"Huh, Scream said the same thing."

"The things you call understanding and maturity are not something I was born with. I used to do stupid things just like everypony else but I have had enough time and, thank heavens, enough opportunities to gather what little wisdom I now possess. It is hard to hold somepony young to such standard, which means that if you wanted somepony with similar qualities they would probably have a long, white beard and would be completely incapable of fulfilling your other... desires."

"That's why I'm lucky, right?" I ask, getting increasingly nervous. Void is, of course, right but something seems off about his answer and I need to get some assurance.

"Or do you think I did the wrong thing?" I continue.

"You did what you did, that is all that matters. The usual way to grow up is to have somepony with enough patience to keep kicking your butt the right way as you two go together through life."

"So you DO think I should have accepted."

"I just think you should not have rejected him for the wrong reasons. I hate to say this, but if you keep comparing youngsters to me then you will miss out on the experience of actually teaching somepony something and learning as well in the process."

"So... what now?"

"I do not know about you but I am going back to bed, it is too early in the morning. You have made your choice."

"Yea... I did," I say to myself when Void disappears through the door, not so sure about it being the right choice anymore. Maybe, just maybe, being the right choice doesn't matter but being the choice that comes through does.

Damn.

I should be happy. I landed the best catch possible so why are there chills running up my spine and why does everything seem to be spinning around? Was Void... angry? I mean I chose him, shouldn't he be happy? He won, he proved to be better than Blaze in all aspects so WHY ISN'T HE CELEBRATING RIGHT NOW WITH ME IN BED?

I've had stallions dancing around me at every party and every single one of them would eat their own grandmother to be with me. So why did the one I'm interested in leave, thinking I'm stupid?

Damn.

I need a second second opinion. Somepony who would talk to me without his balls getting in the way, somepony I've known for a veeery long time. Not bothering with breakfast, it's too early for my shift but I hurry to the castle to catch a certain pony before his shift ends.

The door of the Nightguard leader office opens.

"Hi, Sharpie. Got a minute?" I begin.

"Whenever that saying leaves somepony's mouth they should be lynched," says Sharp Biscuit, his eyes looking up at me from some paperwork.

"Thanks," I let myself in and sit down in a chair.

"So?"

That's the problem. I have no idea where to begin.

"Eeehm. I... hmmm," is the best thing I can come up with.

"This is going to take a while, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Then wait here and let it go through your head. I'll make tea and sort something out."

The ticking clock on the wall isn't helping at all and I still have no idea how to even begin and what I actually can tell him but there's no need for secrecy, is it? The princesses know about us and we are free to do whatever we want so...

The door resonates with somepony knocking on it. I open it. Sharpie's office or not, I can always kick an unwanted visitor out saying what we're doing is official Nightguard business. The blue-maned white earthpony is somepony I don't want to kick out at all though.

"Hi, Heavy," I greet him.

"Uh. Hello, commander," is his explanation-demanding response.

"Ah hello, Heavy," waves Sharp at him, careful not to spill out the tea.

When everything is ready and there's one more cup than before Sharp explains the situation.

"You see, I was supposed to go out with Heavy after my shift but then you came in, looking more desperate than a kitten with too many yarn balls. So I immediately knew our romantic morning just wasn't meant to be."

"I just don't know where to start," I admit.

"At the beginning. That's usually the best time and place."

Sighing, I recount to them everything that's happened since the morning I drugged Blaze. They are polite enough but Heavy's grinding teeth and disbelieving expression makes it difficult to keep going on. When I'm done, Sharp just makes a pyramid with his hooves and stays silent.

Heavy Hoof isn't as civil though.

"You've got to be kidding me! You caused Blazing's death just so you could score an evening with the dumbest sack of flesh in Canterlot? How cock-hungry are you?!"

I've never seen Heavy Hoof angry but his outburst leaves me glued to the chair and trying to look as small and inconspicuous as possible.

"Calm down, Heavy-" begins Sharp.

"And then, THEN you just watched him break down while having fun with your new four-legged dildo?"

"CALM DOWN!" tries Sharp again.

"You can't seriously be taking her side in this."

"I'm not, I just know her much better than you and Blazing Light was/is my friend as well. So while I can understand why you're angry, I can also see Darky's point of view."

"Fine! Tell me one thing that would make me stop wanting to snap her neck right here and now," growls Heavy.

"Exactly that," Sharp points at the fuming earthpony, "you've been in love with Blazing since the day he led you to my office and, despite everything, here we are. The heart wants what it wants and sometimes it wants too much. That said, what she did is something to go to prison for."

"Well that's where she should be then. Maybe they could put her in some mixed-gender facility so she could have all the 'fun and games' she wants."

"Heavy, you know I love you, right? Then stop acting like an idiot, sit down and listen. The little black sack of unhappiness who has yet to say something is your friend as well. And yes, at the moment I'd like to throw her out of the window but unfortunately she's got wings so it wouldn't help."

Sharp's little joke seems to work and Heavy sits back into his chair.

"Why did you tell us all this though?" Sharp's attention turns back to me.

"Well, I wanted to know if you think I made the right choice between Blaze and Void."

"THAT'S YOUR MAIN CONCERN AFTER WHAT YOU DID?!" Heavy bursts out again but stops himself in time and just facehoofs.

Sharp frowns.

"This time I have to agree with mister berserker here but I'd be a pretty poor friend if I didn't answer your question first. I think you made the right choice. From what you said about this Void he seems to be somepony perfect for you with your... problem and with Blazing you would have taken a big risk. On the other hoof I know Blazing, despite all his flaws and Luna herself knows there's enough of those, would live for you, die for you and maybe even survive the company of other ponies for you."

Therein lies the problem, as the poets would say.

"I don't want that," I interrupt, "I don't want somepony relying on me to control his life. I just want him to be there when I need him."

"And you think that's a good thing? All you're saying is that you want somepony to be there when you need him, when you want him and then you want him to go away and don't bother you until you want him again. If that's the case and I'm right then I know where you could find exactly the right company."

"Where?" I just mumble.

"It's made of plastic and it's running on batteries, you can take a guess. The point is that you chose what you thought was the best for you and whatever it will lead to is your responsibility."

"How can you be so calm about this?" asks Heavy his partner.

Sharp just looks at me and after a second I nod. I know what he wants to share and somepony as smart as him might be able to explain it better than me.

"The problem with our little batpony friend is that she's a sex addict."

Okay, maybe even I would have been able to say it like that.

"And that's bad because and excuses her how...?" asks Heavy.

"Think with your head for a second, love. How would you feel if you thought our relationship was just about sex? How would you feel if I, trying to avoid making you think it, had to sleep around with other ponies. All that just so you'd think you are something more to me. How long would it take for you to break up with me because you'd think I didn't love you? Ask yourself all that and then think about how understanding you'd have to be to be able to take that in stride."

Heavy just grumbles something but doesn't press the issue. Sharp turns back to me.

"Is it enough for you?"

It did help a little but all it really did was to make one of my friends hate me.

"I guess..."

"Good, then it's time for a little friendship lesson."

"What do you mean?"

"This," he says and before I can react he jumps from his chair and punches me in the face which sends me and my chair tumbling.

"I'll leave you with this, Darky - what you did is unforgivable and if I were Blazing Light I wouldn't even think about giving you a chance by asking you out, not after all you did and didn't do. And I'm telling you this as a friend."

I sniff, trying to get back up and to my surprise it's Heavy who lends a helping hoof.

"Thanks."

"Hmmm," he just grumbles.

"Good, is it all?" asks Sharp.

It seems so. There is nothing more I want to say and I have my answer, although it's a strange one. Apparently, tough love means something different than I thought.

Three bursts of light appear in the office and bring princess Celestia, princess Luna and Void with them.

"Welcome back, your Highness," bows Sharp his head to Luna who just nods and turns to me.

"When you're done here, meet us in the throne room," she says and they all teleport out again.

"Eh... time to salvage what we can," says Sharp, "I don't think we can make it to the farmer's market so how about we just go to my place, pop open a bottle and watch some movies?"

"I can't, I've got the newbie lessons in about half an hour. Who would have guessed her story would take so long?" sighs Heavy.

The schedule of a batpony and an earthpony is apparently pretty hard to manage but I can deal with it.

"Um, I can push your shift on Rising Thunder's shoulders so you two have a day off. At least that's something that temporarily leaving him alive and free is good for," I offer as a small apology for wasting their time.

They just nod and rush out of the office carrying some empty bags upon which I write a short note and leave for the throne room.

"What was that all about?" asks Void curiously when I get there.

"I just needed some advice from a friend,"

"Did you get it?"

"Yeah, it might just take some time to understand it."

Void just smiles. I can't read him at all but my respect for him is growing with every second he's around.

"Let's get ready," says princess Luna.

"For what?" I ask.

"We're going to send you to Tartarus and make sure you appear in the Crystal Empire after you leave the place. While you're there, we will travel to see Cadence and Shining Armor ourselves and get our defenses ready. If what Scream told us is true then we can't let Sombra have the Crystal Heart. Since time flows differently in different dimensions then you might appear there before us or you might get there way too late. In any case, we will need Void's power to hold off the enemy so don't waste time. Any questions?"

I have no idea what I could even ask so I just nod and so does Void.

"Good luck," says princess Celestia and then the horns of both alicorn sisters begin glowing.

With a familiar falling feeling we appear in front of a staicase leading somewhere into the depths of the land. Behind us there is a huge three-headed puppy sleeping happily while drooling on a green tennis ball. As much as I'd like to throw it somewhere and watch the Cerberus fetch, we have to descend to the darkness.

"Is it dangerous?" I ask Void.

"Not really. It's just very different from what ponies would expect."

After going down what seems to be not more than few minutes we enter an underground city and before us there is what looks like a shopping mall.

"The heck?"


	60. Making Things Right-ish: Soul

[Choking's Entry]

I know now.

When I retrieved Void's soul it all became clear. His experience and wisdom is something so vast that I can't understand even a fraction of what he truly means by everything he says and I never will.

But what's done is done. We're leaving now and hoping we can get to the Crystal Empire in time. I'm not sure what help I can be but I'll just have to do what little I can in the conflict between magic and natural forces of Equestria.

Or we might arrive a century in the future and I'll get a glimpse of what the immortals see when the world changes completely in front of them.

[End Entry]

* * *

"Tell me again why is there no mention anywhere that Tartarus is a holiday resort?" I ask Void.

"That summation is very incorrect, it just seems like one to you right now."

"No it doesn't. That pony and that, " I stare for few seconds at what looks like an offspring of an octopus and a street lamp, " tentacle thing are playing tennis. I repeat - they are not lost souls burning for their sins, they are not being tortured, they are playing tennis. The fact that the pony can't physically win thanks to the tentacle guy using three rackets isn't what I call eternal damnation."

"Ah yes, Ur'Gash the Soul Eater. Fun guy, cannot handle his drink though," he waves at some souls who answer in kind.

We keep walking. Void seems to know the way but the horror tales about this place are completely beyond me. If this place is a prison then lock me up and tie me down.

"Okay seriously, I was expecting lakes of lava, souls screaming in pain and demons torturing one another."

"Well, the movies get here a bit later after release so you have to wait for new Roboguard remake so that waiting is hard to bear for some. As for lakes of lava, or magma to be precise, it is called lava only when it cools down, there is one in the building to the left."

I look inside through large window and see ponies, naked or in swimsuits, lying around a glowing orange pool. The sign above the building proves to me that this is not some kind of torture facility.

"That's not what I meant, that's a tanning salon!"

"You can get seriously burned if you stay for too long."

"VOID!" I exclaim, increasingly annoyed.

"Yes?" he asks calmly, pretending not to know what I'm talking about.

"What's so bad about this place? You almost started crying when we were at Scream's place and Tartarus was mentioned."

"I do not want to explain it. You have been here not even an hour and the souls you see around have been here for a century at most. This place is where sinners go from different realities, not just Equestria. The ones who were not sent here for doing something terrible will find this place a paradise because they will be able to have everything they could ever want for few years and then they will disperse and disappear."

"And what about the really bad guys? How is giving them company, free food, all sorts of fun estabilishments punishing them?"

"Let me ask you something different. If there are souls from all creation imprisoned here then why do you think there is such a small amount of them here?"

"It's Sunday?" I joke.

The answer is avoiding me though as we keep walking. If the good guys come here to have fun for few years until they're ready to move on then why are the baddies here as well when they can enjoy themselves for all eternity?

... eternity.

Watching the newcomers have fun and then leave.

I shake my head and the idea falls out of my ear.

"How far is the place your soul is at?" I ask.

"Fairly far. We can take a carriage if you do not want to walk all the way. I was just thinking while walking."

"What about?"

"My past mistakes. Being out of here only for few weeks and then coming back makes this place even more horrible than it feels when you are here."

"I still don't get it."

"No, you do not."

Sighing, I don't continue and just keep walking and looking around to see the evil of this place. My hoofsteps stop when I see what looks like an outside orgy of ponies, tentacles, plants and other unidentifiable beings.

"You can't tell me THAT is some sort of punishment," I comment, suppressing the urge to join.

Void stops, suddenly fuming through his gritted teeth.

"It is too bad Blazing Light is not here because he understood the problem with this place immediately. Yes, you can have anything you want, anything you imagine. Yes, you can have it forever. FOR EVER. How long do you think it would take your little pony mind to run out of ideas? How long would it take for you to hide inside one of the small apartments of this place so you did not have to look at those with a chance of leaving this place, a year, a century, a millenium? I was supposed to be locked here for the rest of time. You cannot die here. No matter what you do, you will NEVER leave this place. You can pass some time by tanning, bucking the entire population or watching movies that come here from other worlds but then what?"

"I'm sorry. I just..."

He calms down and closes his eyes.

"No, it is me who should apologize. You were in no position to understand and I should have known that and explained instead of blowing up in such way. It is just that everypony, everything eventually leaves when their punishment is enough. The only exception was supposed to be me. Celestia's judgement was to let me rot here forever."

His outburst left me shaking. Not out of fear but out of a small spark of realization growing in me. No amount of empathy would make me feel even a fraction of what Void must be feeling while being back here so I make my decision.

"Can we take a carriage then? I don't want to be here more than necessary and we have to hurry in case the different flow of time sends us where we don't want to be after leaving."

He just nods and with a small wave of his hoof a carriage appears, driven by another inhabitant of this place.

We get out and Void pays the rabbit-bird-octopus with some bits he pulls out of nowhere. I recognize the building in front of us. Well, I recognize the type and the feeling around it. It's an apartment building similar to ones in some of the shadier parts of Canterlot. One where single ponies try to drown themselves in drink in hope they leave this day behind them and wake up tomorrow or not at all.

When the door opens I don't even have to look inside to know what exactly I'm going to see. The grey peeling wallpaper, the wobbly table and one chair, the small dresser lacking clothes inside, said clothes thrown over the chair, the bed which hasn't been made in ages with a body pillow featuring Scream in some lewd pose, although her simply standing and breathing can be considered an invitation to bed, and the cracked window with makeshift curtain keeping the light out.

Okay, the pedestal with black, pulsating orb in the corner is something I didn't expect but it is there.

"Is that it?" I point at the orb and Void just nods and keeps staring blankly at nothing.

When I touch the darkness...

_Barren land, black alicorn standing alone between rivers of molten rock being drenched by acidic rain._

_The black alicorn, chasing an older, light-brown one with dark-brown mane and an hourglass cutie mark._

_The two of them talking to a pure white female alicorn with red mane and watching white alicorn foal with blonde mane slowly toddling towards them._

_An adult black alicorn with massive wingspan and golden eyes glowing with interest in the small creatures gathering around him. Much like him, they have four legs but none of them has got both horn and wings, some of them have neither._

_The black alicorn along with a blond-maned one with the coat of white snow, both with small lights around them with the black one talking without a break and the white one performing what seems impossible just by force of will._

_A golden alicorn, booping the black one's nose with her hoof and brushing her platinum mane._

_The golden mare, playing with a small, dark blue filly with little lights glittering in her mane who is seemingly interested in everything. Both of them, being watched by another mare with the cutie mark of the sun._

_Hungry, ragged masses of ponies. Thousands upon thousands, wounded and scarred, gathering in front of a huge temple made of obsidian. All of them thankful for the black fire which takes their pain away._

_The golden alicorn, passing a three-headed dog and looking around what seems to be an underground city full of ponies and other creatures._

_The black one, raging, destroying buildings but eventally just sitting down and staring out of the small cracked window with a bottle in front of him._

"Huh?" I mumble and try to touch my wet cheek which unfortunately causes the black orb to drop on the ground.

"Aaaah!" I desperately swing my forelegs to catch it but fail miserably.

"What?" I just tilt my head when absolutely nothing happens as the orb hits the floor.

"Physical contact does not matter," says Void and I pick the orb back up and present it to him.

No burst of magic, nothing. Just like in one of those pictures of a vase and a face, where a small, feminine and slim Void was a second ago there is now his full form which I remember from Scream's dream realm.

"Is this enough?"

"I do not know. It will take very long time for me to regain my full power but we just have to do what we can against half of the Elements of Harmony."

"Let's go then."

Void looks around one final time and then we disappear.


	61. Making Things Right-ish: Promise

Two black figures appear in the sky over what looks like an entire city made shiny, colorful crystals. The rays of sun splitting inside them and covering the area in bright rainbows would make an amazing spectacle if the rainbows weren't cast on hordes of ponies, griffons and other strange creatures fighting each other.

With the two flying ponies not wearing any kind of insignia they immediately have to avoid a barrage of rocks, arrows and spells aimed in their direction.

"Land on my back," commands Void.

The much smaller batpony drops between the alicorn's wings and grabs his neck as tight as she can. Safe from all projectiles which meet their doom when touching the area around Void, Choking examines the battlefield. It isn't a hopeful sight.

While the city underneath them is large, it looks very reliant on magical defenses rather than physical ones and with no fortifications and bridges it's very vulnerable and it shows. All around in the distance is what looks like a shimmering see-through wall from where the attackers are coming and massively overwhelming the defending force with sheer numbers.

Ponies fighting in small skirmishes all over the city aren't what the flying duo is looking for and they keep on going, avoiding and in some case blasting down all other airborne creatures.

"Lower your weapons!" they hear when they get close enough to the heart of the defending forces.

Behind lines of barricades, there are both royal sisters leading the defense and protecting the Crystal Heart.

"I'm glad you made it," says princess Celestia and a deafening boom nearby proves that princess Luna isn't sleeping despite it being day.

"Too late it seems," says Void.

"Not really, the invasion started an hour ago. They began pouring from all around the city and our magical defenses just disappeared as soon as we put them up so we're stuck behind barricades. The thing keeping us alive is that the enemy isn't rushing. Sombra knows that we can't hold him off in a siege."

"What happened then? I thought the Elements, you, Luna and Cadence would be able to mount a decent defense."

"We underestimated Scream's warning. We thought that pulling parts of Equestrian military bases here would be enough but when she said Sombra's got whole world behind him she wasn't kidding. We do have a contingency plan in case everything fails though."

"Oh?"

"We'll have to break the Crystal Heart ourselves, risk the happiness of ponies and others everywhere and probably our lives in the process. Twilight Sparkle and her friends are in the castle right now, taking care of the civillians and looking for a way to destroy it. Twilight spent some time researching magic capable of linking both worlds and according to her the only places where the enemy can create stable rifts are where there are important artefacts which affect the entire world connected to each other."

"I see. So they are mounting the invasion from their Crystal Empire."

"Indeed."

"Can we get to their Crystal Heart?"

"Hardly. That would mean getting through all enemy forces surrounding us to their rift and then back here in their world."

An echoing voice comes from all around them.

"That will not be necessary."

The air shimmers and the dimensional barrier surrounding the Crystal Empire suddenly moves much closer, covering the entire Crystal Heart square and trapping the defenders throughout the city amidst enemy forces.

In front of Celestia and the others, just a short distance away, another shimmering dome appears, giving them a clear look at an armored grey unicorn standing in a mirror image of their own area around the Crystal Heart. The artefact behind the barrier is obsidian black though. A purple unicorn in brown robe is watching the situation from behind the king and the corrupted Heart.

And that's it. In the middle of the defending force there stands the lord of the entire invasion and just one of his bodyguards. The defenders don't hesitate even for a second and rush to end the threat, failing miserably. Grey mist swirls around king Sombra's horn and then bursts outward, covering all without sufficient protection. Princess Celestia just looks sadly at all suddenly petrified soldiers and then realizes that the number advantage is still with her.

Void, Choking Darkness (no matter how little help she might be), Luna and Celestia herself are the only ones standing between Sombra and the dark future of Equestria.

Summoning the scorching heat of the sun, Celestia sends a beam of energy towards Sombra in hope it being enough to pierce through his defenses. Hope though is something Void doesn't believe in and ensures the success of Celestia's attempt by using his power first to destroy any semblance of magical protection in the area. Luna reacts immediately as well but is hit by a beam of purple light in the same second.

"We have some unfinished business, Nightmare Moon," says unicorn Twilight, stepping out from behind the corrupted Heart.

Sombra just laughs when he feels his magic being stripped away and Celestia's beam of fiery death stops when it hits something else.

A third enemy figure appears when light from Celestia's spell dies down and all of the combatants can see again. The power of the sun disappeared after hitting a burning, phoenix-like wing sprouting from the back of an armored unicorn with mechanical griffon arm instead of his left foreleg and a glowing red crystal serving as a horn.

"Ooookay, that may have been a bit too much," the unicorn shakes his head and the fiery wings disappear.

"You know, it's been what... three weeks? That's not an amount of time for you to try to go against a freaking alicorn," comes from the silvery see-through longsword flying behind the king's guard.

"Meh. Worst case - I get blown up, no big deal," answers the unicorn carefreely.

"BLAZE?!" yells the black batpony and jumps down from Void's back.

"Hey!" answers Blazing Light, smiling, " I knew I'd somehow meet you here. I asked myself - what's the most annoying thing that could happen and tyadaa - you appear."

"The Element of Betrayal..." breathes out princess Celestia.

"Nice seeing you again, princess," bows Blazing Light.

"Ooo hey, Tia," yells the flying longsword and begins shaking in the air to imitate waving.

"WE ALMOST HAD HIM!" screams Choking at the bronze patchwork standing in front of the king, tears of rage in her eyes.

"You had nopony, dummy. Sombra here bound his soul to the Crystal Heart so you were free to waste as much energy as you wanted but it would have been pointless."

"Then we just have to destroy the Heart!" yells Celestia and sends out another burst of light, this time aimed behind the king. The spell fails as its energy is sucked inside the black crystal.

A sphere of golden glimmer appears next to the king and from it an alicorn of the same color steps out. All male, and some female, creatures inside the Crystal Empire suddenly feel an irresistible urge to cross their hind legs.

"And so we're here... at the, heh, heart of things," giggles Scream.

"You?" asks Celestia.

"Yes me. It took a while, you fat cow, but I'm finally here and what's more important - YOU are here as well," snarls Scream at the solar princess.

Golden chains appear on every single pony defending the Crystal Heart with the exception of Void who is just watching the situation with thoughtful expression.

"What do you mean?" comes from immobilized Celestia.

Blazing Light rolls his eyes, preparing for Scream's inevitable evil monologue. His suspicions were right after all.

"You have no idea, do you? It took me ages to make this happen. After you took Void from me I wanted to kill you but that wouldn't have been enough so I waited and waited for centuries. Then a grey unicorn, possessing enough raw power to bear the Element of Magic appeared in both worlds but that thing was at the time in the hooves of Magnus. With enough guidance the little grey unicorn became powerful enough to transcend physical form try to take over the Crystal Empire where a world-shaping artefact, similar to the Elements was kept. Then you persuaded the other alicorns to borrow you all the Elements to stop him and thwarted my efforts. So I had to keep on waiting and planning because you just wouldn't listen and let Void out of Tartarus. Fortunately, in neither of the twin worlds were you able to kill my apprentice completely so he grew in power and came back. Unfortunately, when Magnus left this world the Element chose a new bearer in your Twilight Sparkle who was able to kill Sombra on your side and I had to focus my efforts elsewhere. And I succeeded. Let me tell you that your breaking down over and over when Sombra raped you and kept killing your foals in front of you was the sweetest thing I've ever tasted. But even then your otherside self didn't let Void out of Tartarus. You were hard as steel in the world which you screwed over by putting all evil Elements in it but eventually your brain melted. Fortunately for me I had one more chance at getting my love out of prison."

"You caused all... this just to get him out? Didn't you care about consequences?"

"YOU TOOK THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERED TO ME! I would have destroyed the universe to make you suffer and get Void back."

Void interrupts.

"All this means you succeeded and there is no reason to continue. Let us leave this place and stop causing unnecessary pain."

The glint in Scream's eyes reveals that the pain from losing her lover such a long time ago broke her on more levels than anypony could imagine.

"Oh no, not yet, Voidie. I know you'd stop me if you could but you don't have enough power to be relevant here and so I will have my revenge... again. Sombra!"

An unseen pressure surrounds all defenders but only one of them screams in pain when her legs break in more places than medicine can name.

"I will have you watch as ponies turn their heads away from you, corrupted from within by evil in the Crystal Heart. I will have every single one of them tortured and executed this time. I was stupid last time to just break your foals but with how you feel about all your precious little ponies I will have enough of your children to burn to death in front of your face."

With Sombra's immobilizing spell, Twilight Sparkle was able to defeat Luna and now she leans down to her ear.

"Do you have enough power to stop anypony from leaving this place?" she whispers.

The heavily bruised princess of the night just nods.

"Good. When I get back, use your magic."

Unicorn Twilight slowly steps away from the blue alicorn and returns to the Crystal Heart.

Sombra laughs.

"Victory."

"DO SOMETHING, VOID!" yells Choking in hope that the pillar of strength she chose would be able to save the situation.

"I cannot. Scream is right and I do not have enough power to defeat all of them and neither can I destroy the Crystal Heart. I have no idea what to do," Void's words spell the end of all hope that was still lingering in the depths.

"I can," is a calm statement from unicorn Twilight who uses both the alicorn amulet and the Neighcronomicon to focus an amount energy which makes all the alicorns shiver and sends it all towards the Corrupted Heart.

It fails. Both artefacts turn into ashes as their energy is spent in one go but the Heart remains untouched and just begins humming.

"You didn't think I'd let you run around with the ability to stop me, right?" Scream tilts her head to the side, grinning.

"Good game well played, everypony. But I win," continues Scream, gloating.

Blazing Light who, after his initial blocking of Celestia's spell, has been mumbling to himself and hiding behind everypony just sighs, coming to the most important decision of his life.

"Alright, time's up. Let's do this!" he grins to himself, unsheathes one of his swords with his arm and slowly, veeeeery slowly levitates the second one.

"Good, start with Celestia and then you can have fun with your batpony. I can even make her better for you by-" commands Scream,

"Nah, even if you gave her four breasts and the sucking ability of an industrial pump I wouldn't take the offer," Blazing Light sticks his tongue out at Choking and then his swords swing at the Corrupted Heart.

Both Sombra and Scream begin to glow but their teleportation is stopped when Luna's horn glows in response to her finishing the blocking spell.

"YOU IDIOT YOU'LL KILL US A-"

"Good," says Blazing without even slowing his strike.

The Corrupted Heart cracks and the shimmer in the air signaling the overlap between the twin worlds hardens and all sounds are left to their seperate dimensions.

The last thing Choking, Void and both princesses see is an inferno of white flames enveloping the four figures on the other side.

"NO!" screams Void, "I AM NOT WAITING ANOTHER MILLENIUM FOR HER. I'm not wai... ting alone."

He sits down and begins sobbing.

And with it the invasion is over. The princesses fly away, Void teleports somewhere and Choking leaves for the palace, having no idea what to do.

As she walks down the main road, Void reappears next to her and just asks:

"Do you want to go home?"

Choking just nods.

* * *

[Blazing's Entry]

So... it's over. The bad guys are dead. Evil Element bearers are gone, at least the three I know of. I can only hope that Spike in his rage will take care of the remaining two sent to deal with him. I regret killing Rarity the most but without it I wouldn't have had a chance at making this work. If it makes her happy, wherever she is, I died very painfully.

So why am I writing this, and when? Well... I have this really bad habit..

I just can't say no to ponies when they give me the puppy-eyed look.

NOTE: The green curtains with yellow carrots sucked.

[End Entry]

The pain culminates to a point where everything just shuts down, unable to cope.

I'm standing somewhere, or maybe not. Senses weren't made for this apparently and just give me the feeling of existing, surrounded by white. A short while after, as much as nonexistent time can be determined here, a black figure appears from nowhere.

"Heya, Death, where's the scythe?" I joke.

The black figure becomes identifiable and in turn is identified as Void.

"Blazing Light."

"Oh... you. Don't tell me I messed up again and the blast caught some of you guys on the other side."

"No. You killed Sombra, Twilight, yourself and Scream."

"Wohoo, four points for Blaze!" I yell out. Things are pretty fun when everything is over.

"I have a request."

My grin freezes, my unreal spine begins sweating and I immediately lean back.

"No. Whatever it is - no. I don't care. I did what I had to and as a bonus I died a bucking hero. I call that a ten out of ten situation."

"You did not want to survive?"

"Nope. Not in the slightest, trust me. My family wants to kill me and I can't blame them. I literally have nothing left."

"You did not want to get another chance with Choking?"

"She turned me down when I asked her out which was a good thing. Without it I would have still held dreams about going back and I wouldn't have been able to finish all this."

"I thought you would give everything for her."

"I did. I could have had a good life on the other side - fame, money, mares, everything. I literally gave EVERYTHING I had for somepony who didn't give a spit about me."

"Then you know how I felt all this time."

"Huh?"

"When I was locked in Tartarus where I believed for the longest time Scream baited me I thought the only pony I have ever cared about was gone out of my life and that she did not care anymore. As it turned out, she was slowly going insane without me by her side."

Somehow, I can relate.

"Please don't ask me THAT. You know I won't refuse so please just don't ask me to somehow go back and redo all this without making Scream die."

"I cannot ask you that because it is impossible. What happened stays happened but I am the alicorn of Death which is an everlasting force so I can feel a little of what my selves in other strong realities feel and there is none where I am happy right now."

"So what are you going to do?" I try to derail the inevitable end. Void wouldn't have mentioned it if there wasn't something to do, he's not the type.

"Choking seems to love me so I will spend some time with her."

"Aaaand that's supposed to make me feel more agreeable how?"

"I can make her happy for the rest of her life. I can show her the sights of Equestria and the entire world nopony else can and I can make every moment of her life be as joyful as the moment she saw you back among the living."

"Oh... you mean the moment I killed my mother. Great."

I will never get over that. I really just want to die to forget what I did. That's all there is to say about my worst failure.

"Some things cannot be undone but that does not mean they cannot be made right."

"What do you mean?"

"You are not bound to this world in any way anymore. There is a spell which I designed with the alicorns of time and magic which could take you through dimensions and gradually through time into a reality where you can have a second chance. It will not change anything here other than me feeling better about doing everything in my power to achieve the best possible outcome."

"So if I do this for you you'll make Chokey the happiest pony who's ever lived. What if I refuse?"

"I will do exactly the same. I would be lying if I said I did not like her myself."

I sigh. Why do I feel this is never going to end?

_Are we taking the easy way out for once?_

Of course not. Me and a happy and peaceful ending?

_Well, it might happen. One in a million chance and so on._

Only one in a million? I guess I'm just an incurable optimist.

"That's what I wanted to hear but here's something you won't. I can't use such magic. I can steal power for myself and do little tricks like the wings with it but that's it. Something crazy like the project of three alicorns is completely beyond me," I get ready to break the alicorn's illusions.

"We solved that at the time. We knew we would never be even able to use such spell thanks to being bound to this world but as an exercise we simplified it enough for any decent magic-user to be able to use it. It does not even require that much power, just time and skill. It helped us pass few centuries."

And in turn he breaks mine. I'll just get thrown through time and space.

"Eh... I hate Chokey. Just mentioning her makes me do all these things without getting anything in return over and over."

"That is a special kind of hate, young one. It is called love."

"That was pretty cheap."

"True though."

"Ah well. Can you do the spell here?"

"Yes. Any last words?"

"Got an idea HOW I should stop your insane marefriend from destroying the world?"

When Void frowns I know I got through his armor but when I grin he collects his wits and calm.

"Help me get my powers faster. If I'm strong enough I'll be able to stop both Scream and Sombra and then me and my insane marefriend will have a long talk."

"Any chance of making you cooperate from step one?"

"Hmmm... just tell my other incarnation that the green curtains with carrots sucked."

I write that down. It's interesting how even as a soul I have all the things I'm so used to having.

"Alright. Pop the spell. Wait... I'm dead or not?"

"Not... exactly. Scream was an almost unsurpassed mage and the body she made, from what I saw, kept you alive. Your senses shut down though. I suspect there is an empty chitin husk in the real world."

"Does that mean I really can't die?"

"You can die, it is the body which is very hard to destroy. There is a big difference."

"If I stop trying to understand will you stop trying to explain? I'm pretty sure my knowledge of magic isn't nowhere close to get what you're saying."

"Alright. Do you want me to tell Choking anything?"

"Not really. It'll be best for her to forget about seeing me as soon as possible and focus on having fun with you instead of pointlessly moping."

Void just shakes his head.

"I really wish you two could have stayed together."

"So do I, but I've always known she could do better. And she did! Blaze - one, everypony else - zero."

The glow of his horn tells me it's time to move on.

One last thing to do... one last duty to fulfill.


	62. Making Things Right-ish: Jumping

[Blazing's Jump #1]

Welllll, great. Thinking the spell would be straightforward and just get me where and when I needed to be proved amusingly wrong. The one and only good thing is that the Element was still with me and was able to identify the time period where I ended.

And so was I. I mean, landing in the Canterlot castle throne room in the middle of changeling invasion and practicing my skills for about an hour was pretty fun and all but I think me causing queen Chrysalis to fall unconscious due to magic overuse exhaustion doomed the world anyway.

On the other hoof, Twilight Sparkle was grateful enough for me saving her brother and princess Cadence to research Void's spell from me unconsciously absorbing some of its magic and she wrote it down for me to use for more jumps.

If my self from that dimension somehow succeeds in averting the invasion he might get pretty surprised by the fact that there already is a statue of him in Canterlot.

And he'll never know. He he he (insert evil laughter here).

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #2]

Hmmm. Apparently it's much more difficult to make Twilight Sparkle perform the spell when I'm not some kind of hero. Fortunately, when I broke out of Ponyville mental hospital, found her in the village and kept slapping her until she decided to listen my magic stealing ability was enough to spark interest in her and my travelling spell fascinated her for about a week.

Well fed and brimming with energy I was sent out again.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #3]

DRAGONS! DRAGONS EVERYWHERE! WINGS DON'T STOP REAL FIRE, ONLY MAGICAL.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #4]

Appearing in the Everfree Forest wasn't that bad with me knowing what not to eat. Getting out was the hard part. There were, of course, roads leading through but those were heavily patrolled leading to my brush, heh, with Royal Guard.

Upside: No matter the dimension, security in Canterlot sucks.

Thank heavens for Twilight Sparkle's obsession with unique magic. I mean the constant begging for my release into home-observation was fun to watch but eventually I had to go.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #11]

Find Twilight.

Persuade her to cast the spell.

Jump.

Repeat.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #16]

I've been thinking about how to deal with the situation home for past few jumps. I usually spend between three days and a week in every reality so I have time to think things through.

Firstly, I have to make Void get his body faster. Unfortunately, I don't have a clue what happened between Choking and him so I have no clue how to make them get to the Crystal Empire faster. I'll keep thinking about it, perhaps Void's curtain thing will get him to hurry.

Secondly, thinking backwards from the Corrupted Heart explosion I believe I still have to get close to Sombra which means killing the Elements. I don't want to, I mean if I'm trying to make things right I might as well try to make everything work out the way I want.

So... will I have to chance to avoid my own mistakes or will I have to just forget my promise to Void and repeat all my failures which led to my success eventually?

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #19]

In all previous jumps I appeared in a time period I considered normal but I think Void made a mistake when he said the spell would make me come back in time gradually. It's possible that my magic resistance is interfering with the spell as well and may cause misfires from time to time.

In short, I had to find a different mage this time. On the other hoof, I'm getting pretty competent with blocking magic. The real problem is that the more complex the blocked spell is the more difficult it is to break.

Or so I thought. A short exchange with princess Luna when she thought I was threatening Starswirl the Bearded taught me otherwise. Celestia's magic in the Crystal Empire and in some realities where I had to take direct measures to persuade Twilight made me believe I had what it takes to deal with an alicorn but no, not even close.

Celestia is just a terrible mage.

The misunderstanding cleared up thanks to Starswirl and both of them took an interest in me and the Element so I decided to stay for a while and regain strength. Funnily enough, Luna had no problems with feeding me some prisoners from castle dungeons.

Practicing against her taught me a lot. First and foremost that I can't go against a mage with her kind of experience and skill. Her repertiore of spells is greater than I can identify and neutralize. Thankfully, there's been less than ten mages with those qualities in history. Not so thankfully, if I land in their time period I'll have to somehow deal with them.

Lastly, Starswirl is a crazy funny drunk. I hope nopony who writes books about his life finds out about the bottles with drinking straws embedded in his fake beard.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #28]

I'm getting tired. I have no clue how long it's been since I began jumping or whether it even matters because according to Chrysalis, changelings can live almost forever with enough love. I'm trying to avoid thinking about the possibility of me jumping for eternity but it's getting harder and harder.

To pass time I keep going through as much as I can remember from Nightmare Night onwards and occasionally I find out another problem I'll have to face. This time it occured to me that I'll have to somehow disguise my arm and horn. The arm won't be a problem depending on where and when I appear but a red crystal I've never seen on my side of Equestria will surely cause trouble.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #35]

Another misfire. Cave ponies are funny though. Their ug-zug speech is still more eloquent than me when I used to talk to mares. Good times.

Yeah, I posed for some cave pictures.

I was afraid I might get stuck here for ages but the god of that place was the alicorn of Magic himself. He copied the spell for his library to impress Void later, cheater.

He also told me something I haven't even considered. I had no idea how to recognize the right reality where to stop. It will be the one where the portal bringing me there doesn't close immediately.

I think I dodged the arrow there.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #36]

I don't want to fight Luna again. EVER.

This was a reality where the roles of the princesses were reversed and Celestia was the one with a stigma of the past meaning Luna was the one trying to stop me from forcing Twilight to use the spell.

Even with me full of energy, it was almost impossible to survive long enough for her to begin talking.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #37]

I took some time to relax.

It turned out to be a bad idea because the invasion came and I was able to see what happens if I fail. Scream wasn't kidding when she said she had a better idea how to break Celestia. I mean the mirror part of my reality was more or less peaceful but in this one Sombra and his minions really began killing every single pony publicly to break Celestia's subjects mentally and eventually torture everypony to death.

I don't value life much after parting with mine but this one really showed me how fragile it really is and that no matter how powerful one can become there is no way to prevent all disasters.

That was the first time I tried the travelling spell myself.

NOTE: NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #38]

My attempt during last jump proved fortunate but I'll never make the same mistake again.

As for the fortunate part:

I landed on the outskirts of Ponyville in such shape that fate itself must have sent me Fluttershy to help. She helped me with healing even the smallest broken bones and burned remains of my carapace.

NOTE: To make jumps faster:

1) kidnap Fluttershy

2) tell her my story

3) while she's crying, take some pictures.

4) send to Twilight.

5) have the spell ready in about two days.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #45]

This one... will stay with me for the rest of my life. In both good and bad way.

The reality was one where the Elements failed to resonate with Twilight Sparkle in the castle of pony sisters and Nightmare Moon won. As much as I hated fighting against Luna this was the power of an ancient god with her skill in magic. With my anti-magic swords broken after striking the Crystal Heart, not even my blocking skill and the power of the Element of Betrayal was enough to scratch the deity.

I appeared in Trixie's summoning circle and she presented herself as Nightmare Moon's apprentice. With me being part changeling I was used as a catalyst for Starswirl's fate changing spell and she changed something in my changeling part and now I'm able to feel negative emotions as well as love. Can't feed on those though which can't be said about the result of Nightmare's efforts.

How to summarize it? I now know first-hoof how high-tier changelings breed because it was my duty to lay eggs inside everypony afflicted by the power of Nightmare. From the first clutch came some next generation changelings with burning blue eyes and the ability to feed on fear. With the entire world slowly falling into darkness and eternal nightmare-filled sleep with black silouhettes watching over ponies and griffons alike, Trixie wasn't able to bear her guilt and sent me on my way before taking her life.

I think she was luckier than those who stayed there.

[End Entry]

* * *

[Blazing's Jump #46]

I'm being followed. I don't know how or by whom but sometimes I can feel the energy of the nightmarish world in my wake. Void prepared the spell to work only for me but somehow I know that's not the case anymore.

Should I just give up, find a reality similar enough to mine and live the rest of my days there?

NOTE: I can't do that. After being here a month I can feel the shadow behind me getting too close but mainly I feel the reality rejecting me and breaking in my vicinity. My guess is that if I stay too long I'll end up just dropping somwhere at random so I just have to keep jumping until I reach a destination I don't even know exists.

I'm tired. It's been over a year.

Next time I have the incling to promise something to somepony I'll just rip out my tongue.

[End Entry]


	63. Making Things Right-ish: Retry

[Blazing's Entry]

Ha Ha Haaa. I had some time to skim through my entries when resting at Trixie's and one definitely improved my mood. As it turns out I really am the best martial artist in Equestria. Unfortunately it means that to get better I'd have to go to the Griffon Empire and I hate travelling.

Lost my train of thought for a second there. Well, I'm here in the right reality and I think there should be enough time for me to ensure the correct outcome. The really big deal is that I have to do the right thing at the right time which would be a lot easier if I actually remembered all the details but it's been way too long for that. So...

Void must get his power back faster, that is the main goal. How to do that is beyond me though. I'll have to ask him when I meet him. Waaaait.

CRAP! If memory serves, I have to hope things go exactly the same way otherwise I'm going to die horribly without achieving anything.

Alright, next. I will not have an advantage against Elements of Harmony without the Blades of Balance or will I? I am a bearer myself now.

Hmmm, Betty says we might be even so I'll leave out visiting my parent's house. That thing is not happening again even if it means me losing all my limbs to Applejack.

That's all I can think of right now. I really hope the important details come back to me at the right time. For now, Ponyville awaits.

[End Entry]

* * *

Appearing at night in the middle of nowhere isn't in my experience something too unusual when travelling via some half-working spell cast by somepony who's never seen or used it before. This time, things are different. When I turn my head to quickly examine my surroundings I notice I appeared on some country road and despite it being night there's a yellow glow on the horizon meaning I landed near a city or a village. Further inspection shows a small lake nearby and...

"Whoa!?" I jump away instinctively.

During every jump I appeared with only a golden flash of light behind me but this time the magical effect stays and the glowing rift in space with tendrils of darkness reaching for anything on this side scare me witless. My memory begins working overtime.

Think! Think! Think! Magnus said the portal will stay open for some time when I reach the correct reality.

_Alright, we're here then. What now?_

Find a way to Canterlot. Talk to Void... oh no.

Staring at the portal, I suddenly know more than well when and where I am and what a single mistake will mean for me.

"Hey, Betty! My eyesight isn't enough in this darkness to see as far as I need. Are there any flying carriages around?" I hastily ask the Element who is still floating above me in the form of a silver longsword.

"I AM THE ELEMENT OF BETRAYAL! YOU SHALL NOT REFER TO ME AS 'BETTY'! And yes, there is a carriage flying this way, probably aiming for the lights."

I need to do something fast. If I don't then the portal will eat me. Unfortunately, in the past this encounter didn't end well. What to do and how to do it? Somethingsomethingsomething.

_Wings._

Those won't help. It's just an effect, basically a fire shield and not real wings capable of flight.

_Levitation spell._

Never learned one.

_Changeling physical enhancement like Chrysalis did._

I can't jump high enough.

A good idea though. If I could somehow find a way to propell myself upwards with the physical enhancement it might work.

_Fireworks!_

Heh... that might be fun. Or I'll break all my legs and die miserably even before I can begin saving the world... again. I call that a win-win situation.

"Tell me when the carriage is about there," I say to the Element and point to the night sky.

Hoping nopony will see me getting ready, I summon the phoenix wings and focus my energy on heating the air below me. Making my armor as light as possible, I use the overflow of magic from the portal to fuel my changeling physical enhancement and keep waiting for the signal.

"Get ready... NOW!" the signal comes.

The overheated air is released and singes the robe I've been using to disguise myself while jumping, baking its remains on my soft armor. While the propulsion is enough along with my jump to get me flying upwards at fair speed, I completely forgot some small details and at the moment I don't really have the time to focus on healing my horribly burned belly.

"OoooooowIreallyhateflyiiiiiing!"

The wings are only half-real and while they don't have the drag of pegasus ones they allow me to correct my course slightly.

The second small detail I forgot was that without hardened armor it might not be that easy to break through the carriage door.

Slightly dazed, I completely miss my other self sitting there with surprised expression with one leg but manage to grab him with my arm and still turn around to let my back break the second door. That was totally planned and not complete luck, uhm, totally.

Unfortunately, my other self does have the advantage of not ramming into thick wooden planks twice and reacts fast enough to straddle me in the air and begin punching. When I react and punch back, the green glimmer of his armor and our suddenly increased speed signals that I have to do something otherwise I'm going to have a serious problem.

The amount of energy needed for travelling through time and space and my unconscious stealing of it despite destabilizing the spell from time to time gives me an idea and I'm quite shocked at how quickly I can react when I really need to. A blast of fire comes from my back and makes clouds of steam rise from the lake below us, changing our fall into a horizontal slide during which I use the surprise of my counterpart to jump on him and use him as a surf board. A move that would be devastating if the enemy didn't have armor made of almost-steel.

The bastard reacts well enough and kicks me away with both of his hind legs. When he gets up we just measure each other. This is the important part, I realize when a quick glance behind me shows that we landed near the portal. If I don't want to end up as a jar of strawberry jam I have to apparently kill myself.

_Again? Hmmm... slitting your throat after attacking an innocent mother with a filly, letting Chrysalis eat you and impaling yourself to a cavern floor - failures. Killing your mirror self, you on Nightmare Night and blowing yourself up in the mirror world - successes. Going for the best of seven?_

With a grin I send a gust of fire aimed at past Blazing and land, stomping heavily, where he rolls to dodge the flames. It doesn't do much aside from him rolling away again and his horn glowing bright orange.

Wait... I wasn't able to use magic, was I?

I jump instinctively back and harden my armor as much as possible which saves me when an orange glowing razor shatters on my neck.

_I miss being able to use that._

Overusing that move actually cost me a leg and a horn so I might say we're split on that decision.

Suddenly, Blazing Light rushes forward with his armor sparkling again. I don't know what happened to the me I killed during my Nightmare Night but right now I remember what happens next and when his charge hits me I just spin around and for the second time I throw my another self into a glowing golden portal where a mass of black tentacles does to him what I remember only from some of my dirtier Playcolt magazines.

The rift in space closes.

"AARGH!" I scream and drop to the ground when searing heat emanates from my forehead.

A cracking sound and then the source of pain is over, the result however still remains.

"What happened?" I ask weakly, trying not to faint or throw up.

"Your horn blew up," says the Element flatly.

The realization that there will be no more magic, again, at least until I find my way back to the mirror world comes just as a fact. My anti-magic ability doesn't rely on having a horn and in a sense I just lost something that wasn't mine anyway.

Lying on my back, shaking from nervous, physical and magical exhaustion I just wait for what I know is coming. Eventually it does.

"I know ten kinds of spells to make your head blow up!" says a voice which relays its source is frightened to her blue hooves but doesn't let it show.

I point my hoof at Trixie and the Element flies towards her in the blink of an eye and the edge stops a hair from connecting with her neck.

"Eek," she twitches but keeps standing frozen with her eyes glued to the sword.

I'm not going to hurt her of course. This is just something we devised during the jumping to scare ponies without having to communicate and use force.

"Good. Now, I need some clothes with long sleeves. Got any?" I get up and ask while walking towards her.

"Y-yes."

"Lead the way and everything will be okay."

We walk a short distance with the Element keeping close to Trixie. When we reach her mobile home she darts inside and then comes back with a sweater of the same color as her coat.

"That will suffice," I say when I get rid of my burned robe and find out how well my new blue top covers my mechanical arm and I throw Trixie a bag of bits, leaving only few for myself, from one of the saddlebags I procured from my past self. It contains way more than the price of clothing would be but money is the last thing on my mind.

With they key thing I'll need later ready, I leave Trixie and get on my way to Ponyville. What I'll need when I get to my destination is a story about what happened but I have enough time to think about that.

The time comes when I, after finding and following princess Luna in Ponyville, see Sharp Biscuit jumping in front of her to protect her from mirror Twilight and I rush towards and knock him away.

Getting ready to disperse the spell I focus and...

...realize I can't. I have to get hit by this. I have to survive it and I have to die the day after tomorrow to release Void. Relaxing, I let the spell hit me.

_I forgot how it hurt._

It's not the pain that's the problem. With my now magical body, changeling properties and lifeforce of a unicorn I get hit by all three effects of the spell much more directly than before. Draining the energy, life and magic of the target, the spell is the worst kind of thing that could hit me but I survive... I have to.

I promised to Void I'd save his marefriend. I can't stand seeing somepony lose something so precious, especially when I know I'll never have something similar.

The light fades and eventually unicorn Twilight disappears. With Sharp Biscuit propping me and helping me get to the Ponyville library I don't waste time. I know the voice of my fractured self is gone for now so I look for a new one.

Void, are you there?

_This is a very intriguing situation._

Good. I need you to listen to me very carefully.


	64. Making Things Right-ish: Rope

[Blazing's Entry]

My magic has never been a concern and since even my ability to levitate things wasn't really delicate and well-controlled I used to spend time learning how to write without using a horn. My father always said at such times something along the lines of me being stupid for not using the powers fate gave me, acting like a mudpony and wasting time on unimportant things. In time I grew to believe him when my wasting time became more serious - using hooves instead of telekinesis for menial things, doing martial arts instead of usual unicorn techniques - and I believed him when he said that it would be useless later in life.

Shows what he knew.

I think his problem with me wasn't caused by anything I've thought of until now though. I can't say I agree with what Void said in the library but it made me think...

...and it made me scared. Without thinking, I may have doomed this reality by killing my local self.

[End Entry]

* * *

Sitting in a chair inside Golden Oaks library, I'm done with being interrogated by both princesses and have a cup of tea as my only companion. I was worried about Luna asking questions but the 'loss of my horn caused by an enemy' was enough to bring up their compassion and leave me alone for now. It is actually possible to outplay Luna's sense of truth and I have two ways of doing so. The first way is my magic dampening which should allow me to lie without Luna noticing her magic is gone. I've never tried it but it should, in theory, work. The second way is just to answer vaguely while connecting different circumstances like I did tonight. Usually, my answers would probably be under heavy inspection but my saving Sharp and probably everypony else as well gave me some credibility I would otherwise not have.

I also gave Void the shortened version of events leading up to this point and when Luna interrupted our chat we decided to leave the questions for later, which is now.

Focusing on Void, I keep crunching some cookies and get ready to get things moving.

_Your story is disturbing but how do I know you are telling the truth?_

Firstly, I knew you'd end up inside me. Secondly, I'm doing this for and because of you. Thirdly, to get you to cooperate faster your other self told me to tell you that (I quickly flip the pages of my diary) 'The green curtains with yellow carrots sucked'.

_I must admit all that cannot be a coincidence._

What's that thing about curtains anyway?

_Nothing important. Just a little dispute I had with Scream over decorations in our first house._

Is that it? I thought you'd have given me some epic secret of the universe only you know.

_This IS something only I know. It is unimportant enough not to be held in any biography about me somepony might have written somehow and it is something I will never forget as it led to Scream's experiments with carrots and subsequently other long and hard items. Cucumbers also come to mind._

After talking to her twice, I really shouldn't be surprised and... I'm not.

_One thing does not make sense though. Why did I send you through time and space to save Scream in a different reality?_

Something about my artificial body not belonging to any reality anymore.

_I did not mean that, I know the specifics of the spell. What was my reason for asking you to save different Scream? My own was dead anyway, or at least severely limited and it would take very long time for her to reappear no matter what I did._

You said something about you being able to sense the mood of other Voids in different realities thanks to being the alicorn of Death.

_Interesting..._

What is?

_Let me ask you something different. Why did you agree to my request? You said your ending had everything you wanted._

You... made my friend very happy.

_The batpony. Choking Darkness, was it?_

Yeah.

_Everything you do seems to revolve around her._

That doesn't matter. The thing here is to make things right while saving Scream.

_I am not sure that is the case._

What do you mean?

_I might love Scream to the core but I would have been livid thanks to what she did. Even after my time in Tartarus I would have let her think about her deeds for some time._

I don't know. If I was a better pony and Chokey was in Scream's position I'd have probably done the same thing as you if I wasn't able to jump myself.

_That is the other interesting thing._

Stop being so damn mysterous. We don't have time for it.

_Right now, time is what we have plenty of. What I asked of you was a very selfish thing, considering the way it was presented. What did I offer you in return? It cannot have been a chance for a new life since you are saying you will die anyway in the end._

I think you liked Chokey and she liked you as well so you promised me you'd make her a very happy bat for the rest of her life.

_It is starting to make sense to me. There is something you did not tell me, I think. What was between you and the batpony?_

Nothing.

_I disbelieve that from the depth of my soul._

I mean it. Well... I was crazy about her then but I think she fell in love with you during the time you were in Canterlot. It makes sense to me now but it didn't at the time and when I asked her out she refused me. Now I know it was your doing.

_That makes even less sense. I took your only chance at being together with somepony you loved and you-_

You're thinking about it the wrong way. I know how it looks but you don't know me. Her rejecting me freed me from all things I had in the world and I was able to do what I had to. When I thought about it, and I've had enough time to think about it, I knew that you made her happy in a way I wouldn't have been able to so in a sense I owed you a lot.

_Alright, I believe that dancing around the subject will not bring anything useful anymore. I lied when I told you the thing about me feeling my other selves from different realities. I can do no such thing._

So you wanted me to save Scream for... what?

_I did not want you to save Scream at all. It seems that my self from your reality wanted you to have a chance at finding happiness for yourself._

... that is stupid.

_Why?_

I was content with finally being dead and leaving Chokey in the best hooves around. Equestria was safe from the invasion and all the bad guys were dead.

_Maybe I thought that your friend was not in the best hooves she could have been._

Oh don't give me that crap. Compared to you-

_Compared to me you died for her, lived for her, saved the world for her and gave away everything including your own hopes for the future for her._

That's all nice but in the end the result would have sucked anyway. I hate to remind you that she chose you and I can easily see why.

_I think you are wrong._

And I think YOU are wrong. The difference is that I know myself. I spent a year jumping through dimensions and the things I had to do, no... I chose to do, to move forward were disgusting. I'm the reason an entire world is dead, all that because you made a mistake. I even killed my mother for Celestia's sake.

_Everypony makes mistakes._

Good. Now stop the nonsense about me and think about how to save Scream and make the Crystal Heart blow up again.

_I was talking about you. If there is somepony who can understand you then it is me. I was imprisoned in Tartarus for killing millions of ponies and it took me millenia to get over it. You are in a similar situation and I think you just need to forgive yourself._

I can't just 'forgive' myself.

_You are not the same pony you were then. It helps to realize that. You changed, your mistakes changed you and you think about things differently than in the past._

Please stop that, Void. I'm not better than I was. I will make mistakes again and I will hurt others again if I'm allowed to go on. I don't want to, I'm just... clumsy, useless and stupid because I can't think things through so let me be a hero for few seconds and then a cloud of dust forever.

_Nopony can see into the future and nopony can see the impact of his actions in their entirety. Mistakes will be made, experience will be acquired and bad things will be avoided eventually._

Give me one reason to bother. If I do things right then I will get the result I want. I will not exist anymore. I will not hurt anypony anymore. The world will be saved and everypony will be happy.

_And I will be back home with Scream while your batpony girl will be moping after losing her friend._

Shit. Can't you... spend some time with her? I mean so she enjoys the good things your promised me she would get in my world. A mere sixty or eighty years shouldn't be too much to ask or not?

_Why are you trying to push this on my shoulders?_

Because I know that will work. I know you can give her what she wants.

_I will not._

WHY?! I'M HERE BECAUSE OF YOU! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS DAMN WORLD BUT I'M STILL GOING TO TRY TO SAVE IT JUST BECAUSE I PROMISED IT TO YOU! WHY CAN'T I GET EVEN A LITTLE THING BACK?

_You have just answered you own question. You do not care about this world and yet you are willing to go through nightmares to save it. All that because there exists a little, insignificant batpony whom you will not even meet again after she causes your death for her selfish reasons. The real question is whether or not she is even remotely good enough for you, not the other way around._

You can't be serious.

_What is more, you do not even entertain the thought of her not being some kind of holy light, a miracle gracing this world with her presence. You are so blind to her faults that you cannot comprehend that she is just a mare._

But... she doesn't want me. She can't want me. She deserves the best. She deserves... you.

_Why do you refuse to be happy?_

I can't be happy knowing my happiness causes somepony else to be unhappy.

_Such foalish thing to say. Goals of different ponies are always in contrast. The pain caused by victory of the winner gives experience to the loser who, if he is good enough, will use it to win later._

Wisdom comes from being kicked in the face is what you're saying?

_Very much so._

That still doesn't matter. Chokey still deserves the best and I will blow up the Crystal Heart. If you don't agree to do what your other self did then I will take Scream down with me again.

_I doubt you will._

Why do you have to be so stubborn? What's so bad about few decades when you're immortal?

_Think about Scream for a second. If her plan fails then the last thing Equestria will need is an angry, immortal grandmaster of magic plotting revenge again. I will have to be there by here side to calm her down and make the reason for her insanity go away for good. I will not have time to be in somepony else's life._

I didn't think of that. Can't you help... somehow, anyhow?

_My other self sent YOU here. I think that if you want your friend to have the best then you have to become the best for her. All I can provide is advice and my first would be for you to stop putting her on a pedestal._

I can't change what I am.

_No, you cannot. But you can realize what you truly are._

Liar, cheater, murderer.

_And you had the audacity to say I was stubborn. I see there is nothing I can say to change your mind, I am not the right pony for the job. Tell me then how I can persuade the princesses to let me get my body back faster._

I don't know. You and Chokey did that all by yourselves but I think I can make this a bit easier for you.

With that I rip out two pages from my diary and begin writing two letters.

_Chokey, I forgive you for killing me, no harm done._

_What I need you to do now is to help Void with whatever he wants._

_He's not a threat no matter what anypony says._

_If you don't believe this then ask Sharp when did I give him this letter._

_When I get back I'll try to visit you and persuade princess Luna to help as well._

_Also, if you drug me again then I'll really think about doing something scary and terrible to you._

_And if by some chance I'm wrong and I won't be able to get back then you and Void will have to find a way to save Equestria._

_No matter what happens next, you were the best friend I could have ever had._

_PS: Seriously! What WERE you thinking with the pep pills?_

This should give Void some leverage when Sharp tells Chokey he recieved the letter on Nightmare Night and should do the trick with Luna... I hope.

_Princess Luna,_

_Blueblood is a bastard who will try to rape Chokey in the castle library and I'll get killed as a result._

_To make things short - he will threaten to kill her and that will be the reason for me not talking during the interrogation._

_The important thing is that I'll get resurrected by an alicorn named Scream who is for all intents and purposes evil, I will explain everything later._

_I need you to help Void get his body back otherwise this Equestria is doomed._

_I'm writing these letters while you're talking to princess Twilight about a doppleganger threat but the real deal is that an invasion from Equestria's twin world is coming and Void is the only one who can help you stop it in case I fail._

_I'll try to get to you as fast as possible and explain everything._

_Blazing Light._

_PS: You have to teach me the spell that summons a beam of light which makes everything in its path wobble and disappear. Can't figure that one out no matter how hard I try and it makes fighting you impossible._

Perfect. Now to make Chokey drug me, get caught by Rising, save her from being raped and then get hanged.

_Are you thinking this through? As I said, you are not the same pony you were at the time and your actions might have different outcomes._

I'll have to act in the right way then. I'm not bad at reading and manipulating ponies but I hate doing it. My part isn't the difficult one though. You didn't tell me what your problem with Celestia was and, honestly, I don't care but you were trying to fight me, Sombra, Scream and his minions side by side so I think you must have resolved the issue.

_I will do my best._

With the plan laid in front of us, I give the letters to Sharp and tell him to give one to Luna and one to Chokey the day after tomorrow.

* * *

As it turned out, I didn't have to act much because with me being completely spent thanks to mirror Twilight's spell I wasn't really happy with Chokey banging on my door so early in the morning. I might have been a bit more agreeable towards her request out of being glad to see her again after so long but my seeing colors naturally not occuring in the world after breakfast at Joe's proved to me I played things out correctly.

Even without being able to use swords, fighting Rising Thunder was a complete breeze and after his defeat he did what he was supposed to. The good thing was that I arrived to the library at night a bit earlier and began smashing Blueblood's head into the wall without waiting. I still let Rising get me from behind, he he, but this time it will be a bit more difficult to clean Blueblood's mess from the carpet.

Now I'm standing in the castle gardens with Celestia reading my judgement with a noose around my neck. Blueblood's brutalized face in the crowd just makes me grin and gives me an idea. I really have grim sense of humor and everypony around will get their fair share.

Hey Void! Do you think these guys like those bubbly wines with corks that go 'pop'?

_I guess so._

And do you want to see Celestia's shocked face?

_Indeed._

Then check this out.

"Any last words?" asks princess Celestia.

Trying to block out what will happen if my plan fails, I make my armor as heavy as possible with the exception of my neck.

Hey Void!

_Yes?_

Think I can hit Luna's room from here with my head?

_What?_

"Yes. My last words are," I jump into the air and close my eyes, "WHEEEEEEEE-!"

Pop.


	65. Making Things Right-ish: Gathering

[Blazing's Entry]

The fact that I'm writing this means that I wasn't completely wrong about my assumptions. Void's words about failing still haunt me but so far I've been able to make things go my way. Good fortune was with me when Scream revived me and in my hurry to get out I was completely distracted by what I was going to tell Luna which led to my savior's attempt at grabbing my attention via a very pleasant method. I mean Chrysalis was something but Scream is simply... addictive. Just her breathing into my ear was more erotic than an entire night with the changeling queen.

I'm digressing but it was pretty awesome, ehm. Balls, stop! We're not going back, we don't know how. Well, I'm officially going crazy while trying to remember where I have to be at what time.

Right. I landed at my apartment and I'm going to see Chokey and princess Luna. The breaking point is here and I just have to hope I'm persuasive enough.

[End Entry]

* * *

After making myself presentable I break through the door of my apartment, grab some money and go outside to buy food. It's annoying but normal food has been helping less and less. I don't have a clue how long it took ancient changelings to begin eating positive emotions instead of food but apparently my transformation isn't over yet. Ah well, hungry and tired, I walk to the castle.

As much as I try to remember where exactly would Chokey and Void be right now the solution avoids me so I just sneak through the almost empty lower floors of Canterlot castle and toward the slightly more full upper floors. Meeting batponies from time to time proves uneventful as the news of my death wasn't publicly announced.

Without turning around from Luna's door before attempting to knock, I swing my arm behind me and break a spear aimed at me in half.

"You're becoming predictable, Sharp," I grin at the serious bodyguard when I turn around.

"You, on the other hoof, are a complete enigma, whoever you are," he counters while watching my revealed arm slip back, covered by dark green cloak.

"Sharp, I didn't save your firm and incredibly tempting ass during Nightmare Night just to kick it right now so call Luna, I don't have time to waste."

"I will do no such thing. You will not get anywhere near the princess until we know who and what you are."

"Alright. My name is Blazing Light. I'm a unicorn, changeling, magic monstrosity and I can kick you hard enough to make you see last Thursday. Satisfied?"

Instead of answering he spins around, kicks me once, twice and then a small bolt of lightning comes from his horseshoe which I reflexively disperse. He continues his assault with two punches with the second one sending out fire this time with the same lack of effect.

"Cheater! I didn't know you were able to use magic," I comment, not really worried because Sharp's combat skill, while immense, is severely hampered when his weapon is gone.

"You never said anything about being able to stop it," he watches me carefully, assessing his chances.

"To be honest, at this point in time I wasn't able to. So... shall we stop this game or do I have to be serious for a while?"

"I won't let you get anywhere near princess Luna now that I know how dangerous you are."

"Fine. Will you let me in if I surrender or whatever you want from me or do I have to begin bashing the door with your head?" I ask, slowly losing patience.

"You are not Blazing Light. He would never-"

I grab him with my arm before he can react, slam him into the wall and then throw him at Luna's door.

"No, I'm not your Blazing Light, Sharp. That doesn't mean I'm an enemy."

The hallway darkens but my changeling eyes are more than enough to see and my experience from fighting for my life against Luna saves me again when I disperse a much stronger bolt of lightning aimed at me from behind.

"Greetings, princess," I turn to the alicorn hiding in complete darkness.

"Give yourself up and we shall make your fate be only imprisonment," says Luna.

I'm in too deep. The letters didn't help apparently and I messed everything up. Heavens... how I hate fighting Luna. At least I know a lot of her usual tricks but with her knowledge she can easily pull out something new.

"I can't do that, princess. I need to speak to you and I'll do anything to make you listen."

"Then you will do so in the dungeons!"

I can't let myself get locked up. Blocking Luna's next spell, I rush to stunned Sharp, pick him up by his neck and make him groan a bit when my claws dig into his coat.

"I will make you listen, one way or the other."

"Run, princess! It can block your magic," groans Sharp.

"No," says Luna sternly, "you've been my bodyguard for long time and I won't let this monster change it. What do you want?"

"Did you get my letter?" I ask.

"Yes, I did."

"Can you protect your room with anti-scrying magic?"

Her horn glows for a second. I have to believe that whatever she did was the spell I wanted her to do.

"Done."

"Good. Now use your magic to find Void and Chokey and bring them here. I will wait."

"Can you wait in Sharp's office?"

"Of course but you will have to protect that room as well."

"I did. Go and wait there," says Luna and then disappears into the darkness.

We go to the office and I really hope that Luna wasn't lying. Unfortunately I don't have a choice other than to believe her.

"Sorry, Sharp," I mumble when I sit into one of the chairs inside.

The batpony looks at me and slowly backs away into a small kitchen adjoining the main office. I don't try to stop him. What would be the point?

I'm completely stumped when he comes back with two cups of tea.

"Huh?" I look at him, not even trying to hide my surprise at his calm behaviour.

"I'm entertaining the thought that you might be real Blazing Light," he explains.

"It's a really long story but I'm not your Blazing Light."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Nopony aside from Blazing would be stupid enough to try to correct me in that assumption when his life and goals are at stake," he smiles and sips his tea.

"I just hope Luna will see it in the same way," I sigh and have a draft myself.

We wait in silence. My plan failed faster than expected but I still have a chance at salvaging the situation. Eventually Luna returns with Void and Chokey, both of them looking very unhappy. That changes when they see me.

"BLAZE?!" Chokey shouts.

"I'm really happy to see you again, Chokey," I smile uneasily. Somehow, seeing her feels incredibly weird instead of good. I just shake my head, it's been a long time, discounting the day she got me killed again.

"Bl-Bla-Blaze... how? I... what's going on?" she stutters.

Seeing her tearing up eyes I can't control myself, rush to her and hug her. Last time I was so focused on getting the situation right that now, when everything broke down, I let it all out.

"It's been so long... so damn long," I just say, biting my lip to stop my own eyes from watering.

I could stay like that forever but Void's voice disrupts the moment and I sit back down to my chair and try to keep my voice steady.

"I think we have a story to hear," the black alicorn says.

They all listen and I don't miss any important details. Some unimportant details are still left hidden though.

"Why can't we just go to Scream's dimension and deal with her right now?" asks Luna.

"Firstly, I don't think that's in your power. Secondly, I need her alive. Thirdly, it wouldn't stop the invasion. Sombra will eventually use Twilight to create a stable rift to connect the worlds even without Scream's interference. The only way to do things right is for me to go to the other side, do what I have to and be in the right place at the right time. To make things completely right, Void needs to have his powers back before the invasion happens otherwise it will be too late."

"Let me come with you," says Chokey.

"That's impossible. I'm the only one who can pass between worlds and you have to help Void get his body and powers back. Keep close to him, he's a good guy."

"Blazing L-" begins Void.

"Shut up!" I command and everypony in the room tenses, "I know what you want to say and it's not important. The only important thing right now is to get your powers back as soon as possible."

"What about you, then?" asks Luna.

"I need you to explain to me how scrying spells work so I can block them. Scream mustn't find me for some time."

"That should not be a problem," interrupts Void, "the magic expenditure needed to bring you back must have been so immense that even with her ability to drain energy it will take her a lot of time to recover."

"Good. Now I have to find the correct cave in the Everfree forest," I sigh.

"Is it all? Nothing more to say?" asks Void

"Voooid," I growl but gather myself, "yes, that's all."

Actually...

"Chokey, Sharp. I'm sorry for killing your Blazing Light but trust me... it was better than what was going to happen to him. I don't need you to forgive me but no matter what happens, I'm glad I was able to see both of you again."

"You're saying this as if it's the last time we're going to see you."

I open the door of Sharp's office.

"I'm afraid it's not. See you in the Crystal Empire."


	66. Making Things Right-ish: Elements

[Blazing's Entry]

I somewhat misjudged the timing and arrived in the Everfree forest over a day earlier thanks to not going back to Manehatten or wasting time with Blueblood. In my situation, though, there was nothing like too much time and I kept going through every single thing I could still remember. The biggest problem was still in front of me.

Dealing with the hydra was difficult but Chrysalis was powerful enough to keep burning it over and over while I held it off and eventually we won. The hard part was to stay hidden and make the hydra eat her guards first. My guess was that my queen wouldn't be as pleasant as she was with her subjects around. Fortunately, our extended fight with the monster left her severely tired and in having to survive her attacks without the Blades I found out she's as terrible mage as Celestia - an immense amount of power but almost no real skill. But what was I expecting? She's a changeling, not a unicorn scholar and I guess she didn't have time to practice while planning the survival of her nation.

I stayed with her long enough for her to recover and fed her as much as my magical body allowed, knowing, well... hoping, I'd get a chance to rest at Scream's place. I can't lie, going through the forest was a lot of fun but I'm still disgusted at what I did. During one of our night breaks I asked Chrysalis to change into somepony but as soon as I saw the red and black color scheme I almost threw up. That was a feeling I can't understand even now but it still makes me sick. On the other hoof, she looked really hot with all the small, and BIG... very BIG, improvements the changeling queen could provide. Ah well, if I was a bit more practical then I might have experienced my wildest fantasy ever. I guess some dreams are just never meant to be.

A good thing came out of all that though. If, by some incredible stroke of bad luck, I survive then I'll have a place to go and my short carreer as the changeling queen's egg sack might be worth it. Heh... I've been a broodfather so I may as well be a broodmother just for the heck of it.

The really bad thing came when I got back to Scream's dimension. I, of course, didn't waste energy on asking Chokey out this time but I took some time to rest and get my strength back. That was a mistake, or would have been if I noticed the clues too late. I thought Scream's presence was addictive just thanks to her being so good in making me think with my lower parts but when I woke up after what was the best time of my life I remembered the time Nightmare Moon tried to make me her slave by using magic to scramble my head. I resisted then but, well, it still led to me creating Nightmare changelings and ruining the entire dimension. This time it was different and I had to fight myself every step of the way when I told Scream I had to leave for my mission. I still begin drooling every time I remember her and it keeps coming back. I have no doubt that if I stayed longer than I'd have become just a mindless puppet fulfilling every wish of his mistress.

I might not recover from that. Somewhere deep down I know she's inside me and I'm terrified that I won't be able to break the Crystal Heart this time. I really REALLY hope Void gets there in good shape and does what will have to be done if I fail to.

First things first though... if I'm correct then I have some three, four weeks before the invasion begins and I have to take care of the Elements.

While my Element can disperse its physical form and improve my abilities, it can't protect me from the effect of other Elements like the Blades of Balance did and that's the thing. I could probably just bluff my way through and kill Rarity and Rainbow Dash again but that's the outcome I'm trying to avoid.

Alright, there's nothing more I can do here so it's time to leave Sugarcube Corner and force Rainbow to take me to Spike's cave without being protected.

[End Entry]

* * *

The residents of Ponyville have no doubts that I'm Sombra's messenger this time. My arm draws the looks of everypony in the vicinity and because I lost my clothes due to teleportation I really look way too evil without even trying. This time I don't begin shaking when I hear the loud snoring I attribute to the blue pegasus and instead I just pick up a rock and throw it at her.

"Hey! What's going on?" yells annoyed but still sleepy Rainbow Dash.

I throw another pebble in the air and catch it with my arm.

"Get down here, Betrayal. I have a mission for you."

Me mentioning her Element seems to work wonders and she's standing in front of me in an instant. Too quickly in fact.

_Maybe getting the swords would have been a good idea._

I'm beginning to think that.

"Get me to Spike's cave," I command and my voice doesn't allow disobedience.

"I- how? I mean yes, sir."

Did I mention how much I HATE FLYING?

_I must admit you're getting better at bossing ponies around. That no-nonsense approach is working wonders._

Well, my goal is pretty close and the meeting with Scream just made me think how thin is the line I'm walking here. I almost lost everything just so I could buck her and the scary thing is that I would do it again and again even after seeing what the successful invasion leads to. I can't let my stupid wishes get in the way anymore so if I have to kill all three Elements again I will do it and just die as a murderer in the Crystal Empire again. I really can't risk everything just to feel better inside.

_Don't you think she has got Void under her influence?_

No. I mean it must be an alicorn thing but Void is as solid as rock. And thanks for that... with how Scream sunk her hooks into me the expression solid as rock in conjunction with Void conjured some mental images that will take serious time to forget.

_Or fulfill._

Shut up, seriously. Controlling myself after that isn't easy. I need to stay focused or I'll just spend my time sitting in a basement somewhere playing with Blazing Light junior until I faint.

_Fine. How are you planning to destroy the Heart and save Scream, then? You don't have the swords._

Betty should be enough to break the Heart and there is literally nothing I can do about Scream, she's crazy. The only way for this to end the way Void wanted, correction - the way I thought Void wanted it to end, is for him to think of something.

_What about the way he really wanted this to end? You and Chokey._

There is no me and Chokey.

_You might get lucky._

If I get lucky then Scream blows up again and spends her last seconds blowing me. Then Void takes Chokey around the world, bucks her brains out and both of them live happily ever after.

_I'm not sure about that. Your speeding things up might have caused whatever happened between them last time to not happen. He might not want to be with her at all._

That's impossible, she's perfect...

...there it is again. Damn! I'll just have to wait and see and, I don't know, think of something later.

_If you can even get that far. Did you notice how much faster we are flying compared to last time? Rainbow isn't even sweating which means the swords were probably necessary to go against her and AJ._

I'll just have to improvise, think of something again, anything.

Crap, I'm panicking. It's not like when I was younger, these aren't unreal scenarios that haunt me, these are all possible things that could cause a horrible disaster and all that thanks to me not wanting to go home and get the Blades of Balance.

Why do I care? If I fail I'll be dead and nothing will matter anymore. It's just the knowledge that I caused this for selfish reasons that's unbearable. I should have done what was the safe thing and let things happen exactly the way they happened before, I had the resources. Instead I tried some stupid trick to make Void's wish come true which turned out to be a complete sack of bullcrap about me finding love and hope.

Calm down! Calm down! There's nothing I can do about it right now, better focus on the next step.

We finally land atop a mountain and I begin sneaking inside while Rainbow uses her free time to take a nap.

I'm definitely getting better at sneaking though and I get to Rarity without making a sound. Not that it makes a lick of difference because she immediately focuses her attention at me.

"Who are you?" she asks.

"A bad guy, doing bad guy stuff," I wave and my Element materializes in the form of a sword.

"You certainly look like it but something seems off. I've seen my share of villains before I ended here and you look more like one of those stone-cold mercenaries who spend their time drinking in a tavern and waiting for the evil guy to pay them to kidnap royal maidens."

"You read fiction too much," I roll my eyes.

"Oh really? Then let me guess - you are here to fight the big, bad dragon for treasure and to free me and ravage my body in the sweatiest and wildest way possible."

I feel even my hooves blushing and ponder the possibility that the dragon might not be the only thing breathing fire here.

"Wo-wa-what?"

Rarity pokes my chest.

"See? Bad guys' reactions are never that cute. Why are you here really?"

I take a deep breath to calm down... what to do?

"I'm here to kill you to frame Sombra and make Spike furious enough to go against him otherwise a different Equestria will end. Not end up as something... just end. Every living pony will die, horribly. Don't even try to make me tell you the details because they are worse than you can imagine."

"I can imagine some pretty bad things," says Rarity, smiling sadly.

"Seeing your situation and knowing that you read too much I see how you can think so but no... this will be worse."

"Alright, how do we do this?" she asks and puts me to shame one more time with her determination.

My sword flies towards her chest but stops.

"Is this what you really want?" whispers the Element to me.

"No. I wanted to save her this time but I can't afford to risk everthing."

"YOU'VE GOT A TALKING SWORD?!" whispers Rarity loudly and opens her eyes.

"That's a long story and we don't have the tim-" I begin but I'm rudely interrupted.

"I was forged in the mists of time and served only the mightiest warriors of their age-" begins the Element with what I know is total nonsense.

"Shut up, Betty!" I very rudely interrupt the interrupter.

"Your sword's name is Betty?" asks Rarity over the Element's angry grumbling.

"As I said, long story. Can we get on with the stabbing before I change my mind?" I ask half-heartedly. All my courage is gone, washed away by the sudden influx of liveliness from Rarity. Last time she was just a hopeless victim, now I see her as a pony and I just can't kill her.

"I... I guess so. I don't want to stay here and I can't leave," deflates Rarity.

"Oh shush," whispers the Element and turns into a pair of bolt cutters.

"You've gotta be kidding me," I say as I use the weight of my hardened armor to get enough pressure to cut the chain holding Rarity down.

"Now can we go?" asks the ancient and divine toolbox.

"Wait! I still need to somehow enrage Spike. Last time it worked because nopony else had access to this place and Rarity was dead, ehm... sorry for that. I didn't have the Element of Multitoolitude at the time."

"I've got an idea. How did you get here?"

"Rainbow Dash brought me here."

"Dashie is here?" her eyes water a bit but then she focuses again, "Let me talk to her!"

We sneak out which is a bit harder for heavily pregnant Rarity but with my help she wobbles out of the cave successfully. The sight of Rainbow Dash flying happily around Rarity's neck like a fly around... nevermind, wrong metaphor. RD is really happy to see her friend again and if there was ever something I was sure was the right thing to do then freeing Rarity was it.

Or maybe not...

"What do we do about Spike then?" I ask.

* * *

"Where did you get such a stupid idea?" I ask, standing on my hind legs with Rarity over my shoulder.

"In a romance novel, of course."

"I doubt the guy had to carry a pregnant pony," I grumble.

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"No, sorry."

"Good, get ready."

_This is going to suuuuuuck!_

Agreed.

"Spiiiiiikey Wikey! Heeeelp, I'm being kidnaaaaapped!" yells Rarity in the most damsel-in-distress-y voice I could ever imagine.

Time for my part. I grin evilly at the instantly awake and angry dragon.

"Sombra sends his regards, harr harr!" I let out a second of evil laughter before a flame singes my mane upon which I immediately turn and run as fast as Rarity allows me.

"Yarr harr is a pirate's evil laugh. You need to have an evil mercenary laugh, it suits you better," Rarity critiques my performance from my back.

"I'll give you evil mercenary, I'll give you a pirate, I'll give you a raging and raping barbarian," I grumble to myself while running.

Fortunately, the power of Rainbow's Element is enough to let her carry both me and my passenger much faster than a dragon can fly and we leave Canterlot mountains long way behind us in the blink of an eye.

Looking at Rarity when we land, I wonder how a foal of a dragon and a pony will look like.


	67. Making Things Right-ish: Hope

[Blazing's Entry]

Now I know that AJ and Rainbow weren't really on Sombra's side but when I told them everything I found out that the crystal king's power was enough to get them one by one and eventually it was too late to fight back. I also know one more thing, this time from Twilight, and that's that the Elements don't break somepony's will and then twist them completely to their image. The bearers here, while a lot more... adult than their good counterparts aren't bad ponies as such.

Applejack was about as happy as Rainbow when she visited me and Rarity hiding in Ponyville and eventually devised a plan to get me into Sombra's ranks. It wasn't too complicated and explained what Sombra was doing in the arena during my last match with AJ. Visiting the arena once a week is his passtime. Even evil overlords have hobbies, I guess. In a half-staged match I beat the reigning arena champion and found my way into the king's personal guard instead of her which suited us both. She had enough time to improve my plan even further.

When the invasion is about to begin, she will take Rainbow Dash and go protect Ponyville from an arranged attack by dragons who will be supposedly looking for Rarity. It's a bit of a stretch but our hope is that Sombra won't look too much into it with his goal so close. Fortunately for us, Twilight provided magical protection against Scream's prying eyes for them and I was moving around too much to be easy to spot. Once again, all I have is hope that seeing through dimensions is as difficult as Scream said.

There was one thing I wasn't able to force out of my mind. Damn Void!

[End Entry]

* * *

Watching blood slowly leave the body of my mirror self... again, I turn to the horrified and confused batpony who has been watching the entire scene without moving a muscle. It was much more difficult to stay patient and listen to the entirety of mirror Blazing's 'I got the girl' story for more reasons than just me already knowing it.

"Go and get the deed to this house and some official stationery, please," I say and mirror Chokey limps away.

I keep looking around at all the things my successful self managed to get and when Chokey gets back I write the necessary document to leave it all to her. Her every step with her badly healed leg as she goes away to hide the paperwork makes me bite my lip.

"Tying up the loose ends?" asks the Element.

"Yea."

"Once again I have to ask you why don't you stay here with her?"

"The answer is exactly the same and he's currently turning the carpet red."

"Why are you defending your Equestria? You said that you didn't care about the world last time and now that you know Void just used you here we are again."

"Well... Void didn't exactly use me."

"Fine then. What are you hoping to achieve here? If you wanted to just end things then there was a safe way to do it and instead you saved the Elements and are here again to give the love of your life a chance at living her own."

"I was the one who took it from her."

"No. You. Weren't."

"Details."

"Details are important. To me all of you four-legged creatures are just ponies - frail, mortal and fleeting. It's the details that make the difference. So let me ask you again - Why are you trying to save Equestria when there is nothing for you there?"

"Because I'm the only one who can!"

"Really? If Void managed to get his powers back in time then he'll easily be able to deal with danger."

"And what if he didn't? Then it will be up to me again to blow everypony up and if I'm not there then it's over for-"

"For whom?" asks the Element quietly.

"Equestria?"

"You got yourself into a circle which doesn't end where it begins. Trying to save a world about which you are adamant in saying you don't care at all."

"Fine. I can't stand seeing Chokey unhappy and I can't stand the thought of her getting hurt. I saw with my own eye what happens if I fail."

"Ummm-" interrupts the suddenly returned batpony.

"Be quiet for a second, Chokey. I'll sort this out and then-" I begin.

"But-"

"Listen, it's gonna be alright-"

"NO, YOU LISTEN FOR ONCE!" deafens the Element both of us, "For once in you life listen to somepony other than yourself, you idiot. You keep talking about how stupid and useless you are and yet the only one you listen to is the dumbest pony in existence! You've said enough, now open your ears and for once listen to others, not just hear the sound leaving their mouths... listen. Go on, girl. Say your piece."

I don't know what is scarier. The fact that I made an Element of Harmony angry or the fact that its sword form is nearly stabbing me in the face.

Chokey slowly walks up to me and leans closer to my face and I take a step back on instinct.

"You aren't a bad pony."

"I-" I begin and immediately shut up when the shimmering sword passes my peripheral vision.

"I don't know who you are but you aren't the pony I know as Blazing Light. Truth be told I used to like him but eventually he proved who he really was. You are trying to give me back a life I haven't had for years and I though I never would. You - a pony who has never seen me before. I don't know anything about myself from your world but I know I'm not her. No matter what led you to writing the will giving me all this you did it for a pony whom you've never met before, that's not something usual."

"You just know me from this one thing. You don't know the bad things I did to get here," I say when it seems she's done talking.

"From what I understand you're trying to make things right and that's all that matters."

Yep, no matter what she says she's definitely Chokey. I just wish she would stop oversimplifying things.

_Maybe you should stop overcomplicating things._

What... you as well? You should know the most about me.

_Yes, I do. And with all that knowledge and all the facts I say you're wrong. You said that you are saving Equestria because you're the only one who can. When Void leaves with Scream then who's going to show your bat a little bit of what Void in our world did?_

I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO THAT!

_Really? A fragment of an ancient god is telling you so, your own split personality is telling you so, a millenia old alicorn thought so, twice, and even THE MIRROR SELF OF THE PONY YOU ARE SO TERRIFIED OF IS TELLING YOU SO! What more do you need? Do you really think you are smarter than all of them?_

No I'm not. I'm just some trash-

_That's a reflexive response you're not even thinking about. Try again._

I... I don't know. I'm just so scared of failing her expectations and hurting her somehow that-

_That you're not gonna even try._

But-

_Unless you're going to say that her butt is incredibly mountable then there isn't anything relevant you could say._

It didn't take more than few seconds but here is me, looking at the floor and shaking slightly.

"Your butt looks incredibly mountable," I mumble.

The burst of laughter from the Element and the snorting from Chokey tell me that I said that out loud. Needless to say, I just keep staring in horror at her and opening and closing my mouth.

"You don't look half bad as well," she says when she regains control, "although your pick-up lines could use some work."

"I... eeh, well... not much experience?"

"Pfff. Kiss me, mister Light," she grins and then closes her eyes.

Is she serious? Me making the first move? She's crazy, she must be crazy.

_Just go with it. You'll make her sad if you refuse._

I kiss her softly on the nose.

She opens her eyes, smiling widely, and turns to the Element.

"He really has no idea."

"No, he doesn't," the Element replies.

"You pass, somewhat," says Chokey, "I hereby ask you to be the best pony you can be for myself in your world."

"She's got you there," adds the Element, "If you don't then you'll make this one unhappy and you can't bear even thinking about it."

I grudgingly mumble something about manipulative mares and even more manipulative Elements.

With both of them laughing and Betty telling Chokey that he can transform into various tools for leisure time I get ready to leave.

"I hate to interrupt the very interesting and educational exhibition of dildos throughout the ages but there is a world to save," I comment.

"And a butt to mount," adds Chokey, leaving me feeling that my hooves must be melting holes in the floor.

When we walk outside and aim towards the train station I have only one thing to say.

"I hate both of you."

"We hate you too, buddy," says the Element.

_We hate you too, buddy._

* * *

Twilight trusted me enough after saving her friends to promise helping me at the right moment. Sombra's minions once again broke through the dimensional barrier and while the defenders looked much better prepared than last time it was still completely pointless.

And just like that, the moment of truth is here.

Princess Celestia sends a beam of energy towards king Sombra and I jump to block and disperse it. This time it's really easy but I make the showing of it tiring me out because I need to stay unnoticed until the right time comes.

"WE ALMOST HAD HIM!" yells Chokey, tears in her eyes.

"You had nothing. He connected his soul to the corrupted Heart so you were free to waste as much energy on him as you wanted to."

Sombra breathes out.

"Victory."

A burst of golden light reveals that the final actor of today is finally here.

During Scream's evil monologue I watch both parties carefully. Twilight is waiting for my command, Sombra is watching Celestia greedily and the eyes of my 'enemies' are glued to Scream.

_What now?_

No idea. I thought Void would think of something but the situation seems exactly the same. I guess I'll have to end it the same way then.

_Sucks to have gone through so much self-discovery just to become a cloud of dust._

I dunno. Considering the explosion, it's gonna be more vapor than dust.

_Hey!_

Yeah it sucks. For few days I actually believed there was a chance. Look on the bright side though, Scream will blow up which means the best result for Chokey and that's all I've wanted.

_You really are an incurable optimist._

Yep. I'll die as I lived, with pieces of my head all over the place.

"Alright. Time's up, let's do this," I say and pick up Betty with my arm. The eyes of everypony suddenly fixate on me.

"Good. Take care of Celestia first and then you can have fun with your batpony," says Scream.

"Can you give her two more breasts and a dong that would put Big Mac to shame?" I ask.

"What?"

"Nevermind," I grin and swing the Element towards the Heart.


	68. The End

The Corrupted Heart cracks but doesn't blow up. I look around quickly to see what's wrong and realize Twilight, while waiting for me to do something, didn't overload the Heart with magic like last time. The hit caused Sombra to drop on the ground and start groaning in pain but we're still here and alive which isn't exactly a good thing.

"TRAITOR!" screams Scream and her horn darkens the sky over the city.

_Well duh. What did she think Element of Betrayal meant?_

I wasn't able to disperse Luna's magic most of the time and Scream... she's just on a completely different level.

Black aura appears around the golden alicorn and the sky above us turns to its normal color.

"crack"

The sound comes from the damaged Heart and suddenly the shimmering barrier separating both worlds becomes a bit less see-through.

Scream disappears, then a spark of golden light is pulled towards Void by tendrils of darkness and she then reappears in front of him. Moments later, said tentacles grab me and pull me back right before the rift between realities fades into nothingness.

"CELESTIAAA!" yells Scream and an inferno of golden flames begins speeding towards the solar princess.

Without any effect, it is stopped by a blackfire wing of immense size.

"Enough," says Void and scowls at the golden alicorn in front of him.

Standing tall, golden eyes glowing with inner fire and both wings spread seemingly into infinity, the alicorn of Death measures his marefriend who is looking at him, wide-eyed and small.

"But she's the cause of all this!" Scream barks at Void.

"Yes. Even the greatest ones can make mistakes."

"I got you out of Tartarus!"

"Partially, yes."

"Then why are you angry at me? She deserves to suffer as much as I did without you! As much as you did down there. FOREVER!"

"That is a point of view," says Void and his gaze falling on Celestia makes her shiver slightly.

"Then let's break her together, love!"

"If you do not stop this madness then we are going to have 'the talk'."

Scream freezes immediately and her lip begins trembling.

"B-b-b-but I can't live without you. Please don't even joke about that," she giggles nervously.

"That was not a joke."

Tears are now openly streaming down Scream's cheeks. After seconds that seem to last forever the dead silence is broken when she crumbles on the ground and puts her forelegs over her head.

"...dontleavemepleasedontleavemejustdontleavmeheavensthiscantbehappening..."

The black-purple wings close around the sobbing golden pile of fur.

"I would never do that," smiles Void to himself.

"You can't just let her off the hook-" begins princess Celestia but immediately stops when she hears Void's low growl.

"Do. Not. Push. Your. Luck. Celestia."

Then Void's eyes stop on the only pony who isn't frozen in shock, me. I'm just looking at the spot where Scream is hidden by Void's wings and smiling slightly. When I feel his gaze I wink at him, knowing everything worked out.

To my surprise, he scratches his chin and his expression becomes completely unreadable. Then his hind leg kicks Chokey who has been standing next to him the entire time.

"Right. Erm, since everything's worked out somehow, what about a reward for the heroes?" asks the batpony and looks at princess Celestia.

The solar princess seems shocked by the proposition but recovers quickly.

"I suppose you deserve something. All this wouldn't have been possible without Void and you. What can Equestria offer you for your valiant efforts in saving its citizens?"

"Anything?"

"Just say the word."

"Are we talking prisoners of war or just things?"

"There are no prisoners, everypony from the other side disappeared when-" Celestia stops and smiles.

"Yep, I want that!" Chokey grins and points at me.

I tense and stand up.

"Wha?" is all I have to say.

The Element changes its form from a longsword into a choker with a long chain ending wrapped around Chokey's hoof.

"Very funny, Betty," I comment.

The choker tightens considerably.

"What did you say?" comes from the air.

"I'm sorry, oh mighty Element of Betrayal."

The snorting from Luna turns into open laughter, infects everypony around and eventually the laughter goes silent as Void disappears in a flash along with his golden cargo.

A quick but determined tug on my neck tells me that it's time to follow my new owner.

Who am I kidding? My old owner.


End file.
